single mom, son, & airport bathroom
Jan 11th, 2006, 10:38 AM
#43
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You could take him to France, where in many cases in my experience, the men's room and the women's room are the same room! Stall doors usually run all the way down to the floor for privacy (like little closets) but a common washing area. And the urinals are sometimes in full view of the washbasins, so you could keep an eye on him and all the other males (their backs)with no trouble at all! Disconcerting at first, but you soon get used to it.
Jan 11th, 2006, 11:31 AM
#46
<What a shocker - everyone has an opinion about how to raise your child.>
hey Kath... Momtravel posted the question. we gave our answers.
i doubt that she will like the general consensus that a 10 year old male does not belong in the women's bathroom (at the airport or elsewhere).
but she did ask.
The question was asked and answered "what should I do?" with lots of helpful tips on how both of you can be more comfortable with him using appropriate facilities for his gender.
hey Kath... Momtravel posted the question. we gave our answers.
i doubt that she will like the general consensus that a 10 year old male does not belong in the women's bathroom (at the airport or elsewhere).
but she did ask.
The question was asked and answered "what should I do?" with lots of helpful tips on how both of you can be more comfortable with him using appropriate facilities for his gender.
Jan 11th, 2006, 11:58 AM
#47
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Yup, the bathrooms are inside security, but at least half the people coming through are on their way OUT of the airport from an arriving flight. It's a low probability of a problem, but not zero. By the time mine was 10, I let him go alone into a restroom but I hovered by the door, assuming only one way in or out, and just had to trust his own smarts to avoid a confrontation. But that was before pagers, beepers, and the proliferation of pervs and kidnappers. Unfortunately, I have an acquaintance who lost her son in an airport, so I'm a bit more wary on momtravel's behalf. The whistle, etc., is as much for her as it would be for the boy's.
Jan 11th, 2006, 12:17 PM
#49
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After about age 6 my son went into men's room alone. At least once I asked a man entering men's room to check on my son - how did I know that person was not a pervert? - I guess I just took my chances. If I was really insecure in the situation I might have asked an airport employee to check on him.
An interesting note - our local YMCA has an "under 6" rule for opposite sex kids in locker rooms. It is my opinion that that is about the age beyond which it gets uncomfortable for all concerned to have a kid of the opposite sex in a bathroom or locker room. (And there really is no significant screening or security at our YMCA - anyone could walk in if walked in like they belonged there)
As the mother of a 19 year old college student, let me warn you that each step towards independence tugs at the heart of caring Moms. Each step sets up more situations where something more awful could happen. Reasonably, you can't "get over it" emotionally, but hopefully you will get over it situationally.
The alternative is that we have our sons living in our basements at age 40 - now that is terrifying!
An interesting note - our local YMCA has an "under 6" rule for opposite sex kids in locker rooms. It is my opinion that that is about the age beyond which it gets uncomfortable for all concerned to have a kid of the opposite sex in a bathroom or locker room. (And there really is no significant screening or security at our YMCA - anyone could walk in if walked in like they belonged there)
As the mother of a 19 year old college student, let me warn you that each step towards independence tugs at the heart of caring Moms. Each step sets up more situations where something more awful could happen. Reasonably, you can't "get over it" emotionally, but hopefully you will get over it situationally.
The alternative is that we have our sons living in our basements at age 40 - now that is terrifying!
Jan 11th, 2006, 12:19 PM
#50
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At school they are using the bathroom with other children. (our school provides seperate adult bathrooms). On a field trip they probably use the "buddy system".
I cannot imagine what "legal ramifications" could come from any of this! Is someone going to sue because there was a 10 year old boy in the ladies bathroom!
I cannot imagine what "legal ramifications" could come from any of this! Is someone going to sue because there was a 10 year old boy in the ladies bathroom!
Jan 11th, 2006, 12:26 PM
#51
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I must admit that I don't have children, but I did babysit children that age and younger when I was a teenager and in college.
I think you've received good advice. While I understand your trepidation about allowing your son to go to the bathroom by himself, I think that 10 is too old to be going to an opposite sex bathroom.
The 7 year old I babysat would go to the boy's bathroom, and I would wait outside making it clear that I was with him.
We as news consumers are saturated with stories of kids being abducted and molested. Yes, these terrible things happen. But I think statistics show that crime rates are much lower than they have been in over 20 years.
I do think it's good to be aware of the dangers presented with regard to children, but I don't think it's beneficial to shelter your child to the point of paranoia.
Everything in life is risky. But if we never flew, drove, etc., then life wouldn't be very fun.
I think you've received good advice. While I understand your trepidation about allowing your son to go to the bathroom by himself, I think that 10 is too old to be going to an opposite sex bathroom.
The 7 year old I babysat would go to the boy's bathroom, and I would wait outside making it clear that I was with him.
We as news consumers are saturated with stories of kids being abducted and molested. Yes, these terrible things happen. But I think statistics show that crime rates are much lower than they have been in over 20 years.
I do think it's good to be aware of the dangers presented with regard to children, but I don't think it's beneficial to shelter your child to the point of paranoia.
Everything in life is risky. But if we never flew, drove, etc., then life wouldn't be very fun.
Jan 11th, 2006, 12:43 PM
#53
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"(If a 10 or 11 year old boy walked into the airport or department store ladies room when I was there I would have him removed - he's simply too old. If you're that concerned go into the men's room with him.)"
So if I read this correctly, a 10 year old boy is too old to be in a ladies restroom (which I agree with), but it's perfectly OK for an adult woman to stroll into the men's restroom to keep an eye on things. Are you serious?
So if I read this correctly, a 10 year old boy is too old to be in a ladies restroom (which I agree with), but it's perfectly OK for an adult woman to stroll into the men's restroom to keep an eye on things. Are you serious?
Jan 11th, 2006, 12:48 PM
#54
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For all those saying, "If you're not comfortable letting him go in the men's room alone, go in with him." I'll ask - Why is it not OK for a 10 year old boy to go into the ladies' room, where everyone is only exposed behind closed doors, but it's OK for an adult (10 years old is still a child) woman to go into the men's room, where men use urinals in public view?
Doesn't make any sense to me at all, and at least 2 people in this thread recommended it. And I'm not referring to going in if you think he's been in too long and might be in trouble - people suggested it as an up-front action.
Doesn't make any sense to me at all, and at least 2 people in this thread recommended it. And I'm not referring to going in if you think he's been in too long and might be in trouble - people suggested it as an up-front action.
Jan 11th, 2006, 12:52 PM
#55
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I understand your trepidation, but as others have said, at 10 he should be using the men's room. And you can wait right outside the door. When my son first started using the men's room on his own, I would stand right outside and call to him if I thought he was taking too long to come out. No big deal.
However, I also see absolutely no problem with bringing a 5,6, or 7 year old boy to the ladies room. Good God, they are still little boys, and the men's room CAN be scary at times.
Anyone who has a problem with a 7 year old or younger boy in the ladies room should get their priorities straight (in my opinion, of course)!
However, I also see absolutely no problem with bringing a 5,6, or 7 year old boy to the ladies room. Good God, they are still little boys, and the men's room CAN be scary at times.
Anyone who has a problem with a 7 year old or younger boy in the ladies room should get their priorities straight (in my opinion, of course)!
Jan 11th, 2006, 01:01 PM
#56
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While I have allready stated that I do believe he is old enough to go on his own , I cant quite grasp the strong reaction to the fact of a 10 year old in an opposite sex bathroom ? Could the people who find it offensive explain ? What exactly is so upsetting that you would tattle about it ? Or have him removed ? What would he see , after all you do close the stall doors ...?
Jan 11th, 2006, 01:05 PM
#57
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It's true that every person gets to have their opinion of what is the "right" age to stop bringing them in the women's room. But if person A says 6 is too old, person B says 10 is just fine, why is person C's opinion that 10 is too old but 7 is just fine the "right" one that everyone has to act by?
Unless there is a law, every parent gets to make the choice that they think is best for their own family, thankfully. Someone, somewhere will disagree with their choice, but that doesn't really matter in the end, does it?
Unless there is a law, every parent gets to make the choice that they think is best for their own family, thankfully. Someone, somewhere will disagree with their choice, but that doesn't really matter in the end, does it?
Jan 11th, 2006, 01:21 PM
#58
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If you read the OP's original post, you'll see that she asks two questions, and those are for opinions. That's what we're giving her - our views.
She didn't ask "is a 10-year old boy legal to enter a women's bathroom with his mom".
In short - she asked for it!
She didn't ask "is a 10-year old boy legal to enter a women's bathroom with his mom".
In short - she asked for it!
Jan 11th, 2006, 01:23 PM
#59
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faithee, Why is a ten year old boy too old to go into the women's room when there are stalls? Why is a fifty year old man too old when there are stalls? It's custom. And besides, there are never enough stalls for women. We're always standing in line. We don't need guys horning in on our space. If anything, we should be liberating their restrooms!
As for the age of ten, nothing magic about it other than it is the first double digit year. It just seems too old. If the child were seven, you'd have seen more controversy. Now that would be an interesting study...at what age do people agree a boy should not be going into the women's room...
In our neck of the woods, by the way, ten is the age you are legally allowed to leave children home unsupervised. (At least in Oregon) Before that, you're supposed to schlep them everywhere with you, even if you're just running out to pick up another child from a neighbor's house 5 minutes away.
As for the age of ten, nothing magic about it other than it is the first double digit year. It just seems too old. If the child were seven, you'd have seen more controversy. Now that would be an interesting study...at what age do people agree a boy should not be going into the women's room...
In our neck of the woods, by the way, ten is the age you are legally allowed to leave children home unsupervised. (At least in Oregon) Before that, you're supposed to schlep them everywhere with you, even if you're just running out to pick up another child from a neighbor's house 5 minutes away.
Jan 11th, 2006, 01:40 PM
#60
faithie, my problem is this seems another "i'm so special the rules don't apply to me" situation. certainly i have no problem with Moms tending to their little children. a 10 year old boy simply isn't in this category in my opinion.
