As a lifetime Washingtonian, I would recommend that you DON'T relocate to the Washington area. Despite a few feeble attempts, the fight against sprawl is like the little Dutch boy plugging the dyke with his thumb. Traffic is a nightmare. Home prices are out of this world. Condos little bigger than tents are going for $600,000 on 14th Street where only a few years ago many houses were still bombed out from the '68 riots and prostitutes had the run of the streets at night. Taxes are high, even in northern Virginia. Congestion is high. The Washington pace of life is hectic, especially for someone raising a family.

As someone who is raising a large family, I had to move my wife and kids to Maryland's Eastern Shore for a more normal living space and a big yard for the kids. The commute from home to where I work is 1 1/2 hours and, though it is a sacrifice well worth it due to current circumstances, it is exhausting. I look forward to moving to a more relaxed, rural setting as soon as it is feasible.

Hate to burst your bubble, if I have done so. However, consider the posts of all the other posters and my own before you make your decision to relocate.

I live in Frederick County MD. If you commute to Bethedsa plan to be on the road prior to 6 am 5:30 would be better. As others have said the commutes are horrendous. The schools in Frederick County Maryland (Frederick City - not as good.) are good but are becoming crowded. As others have said, be cautious in the newer areas of Northern VA - such as Loudon Cnty. I will never forget the feature story in The Washington Post a couple of years ago. Housing had so outpaced schools that people would move into a neighborhood & find out that school was so overcrowded that they simply would NOT accept new enrollments - didn't matter if you lived across the street. Parents were left to find a school with "open enrollment".
We would love to leave the area. We could buy a new home on several acres for what someone would pay for our 40 yr old rancher in Frederick County, MD. The closer to DC/Bethesda the worse the prices.

I have no specific knowledge of DC - but have several coworkers who have gone through the same process in coming to NYC.

First - if this is a transfer rather than a new job - make sure that your salary increase is truly approrpiate for the area - some companies try to cheat on this.

If housing costs are massively different consider asking for a one-time housing allowance - a friend of mine got this - $80,000 from his company - to help make the move easier.

Lastly - it is almost ineveitable that your housing standards will have to change - not neighborhood or schools - but you will probably have to simply go for a much smaller house on way less land. This is just life in the suburbs of major cities.

After all - what's more important - your time with your family - or the size of your yard?

I work in DC and live on the Loudoun / Fairfax line. Commute is 1 hour in the morning (6:45 out of the house, 7:45 arrive at the office) and 45 minutes in the evening (7:00 leave office, arrive home 7:45).

The commute to Bethesda would be do-able but pretty tedious.

IF you decide to go out toward Frederick County, note that you can access Dulles from Frederick via Route 15, connecting Frederick with Leesburg and then the Dulles Greenway, an untraveled toll road between Leesburg and Dulles. It is a pretty country drive and not all that stressful, about 30 minutes total.

Good luck.

The only problem with living in Fredrick is that the trip to IAD is going to be pretty long and that's a priority for her.

As tough as it is to hear, it seems the closer to the Beltway you are, the more convenient yout travelling life will be. If you want a big house, you will need to be prepared to pay a lot of money or live in a less desirable neighborhood.

For the NYer moving to DC, the question hingers on where you are living. If you are working near a Metro, than living near a Metro is key.

This is not the first thread on which I have disputed the pronouncements of the Beltway-loving MikeT, but I'll do it again. The Beltway is death. Inevitable in too many cases, but to be avoided as much as possible. Two rings of parking lot, one inside the other and pointing different directions, much more often than not. It is a very sad fate to have it's spectre hanging over your every workday--I was there for too long.

MikeT is wrong and msr3017 is right--Frederick County and far western Montgomery County (which is still surprisingly rural)is a relatively good area to access Dulles from, taking the route msr3017 describes, as far from the Beltway as possible.

It sounds like msr3017 does not have too bad a commute into DC, but I'll bet he/she uses Metro for as much of it as he/she can. It is an interesting byproduct of the way things have worked out in greater Washington that people who work in the central city often have shorter and more pleasant commutes than those who work in the suburbs, due to Metro and rail.

Here's a suggestion: live in DC, in the Brookland neighborhood. Before the naysayers jump all over me, it's the last great place to buy a house in the entire DC area. It's has real neighborhood, has affordable housing and it is safe (despite what some people say). Yes, DC public schools are a mess, but with the money you save on housing, you can send the kids to private school. My husband and I were going to do that exact thing until we ended up relocating to Richmond (LOVE being away from the traffic!).

Commute from Arlington to Bethesda used to be about 40 minutes by car door-to-door, but think that's closer to 50 minutes these days.

I concede that I forgot about the approach to Dulles that was described above. While I still think Fredrick ridiculously too far a commute, even to Betheda, it is correct that you can get to Dulles from Maryland without using the Beltway.

I

JDub,
This is truly a tough one. There are pockets in Montgomery that are still somewhat reasonable -- a very relative term -- but they are tougher and tougher to find.

You'll likely be forced into some compromises -- i.e, figuring out home much of a commute is a big yard, nerwer house worth. There are occasional nice deals in the Aspen Hill/Bauer Drive area of Montgomery -- but the neighborhoods vary greatly with some going downhill and others improving. Olney, although farther out, is somewhat cheaper.

Take a lengthy scouting trip if you can and talk to locals. Keep posting questions here and we'll do what we can.

Interesting thread. Responding to JBC411, I drive each way, the whole way, without taking Metro. When Metro comes to Dulles or even Tysons then I will be tempted.

National Public Radio and my Ipod keep me sane, plus (now) Washington Nationals games on 104.1.

I love living in Northern Va. and would not recommend against it to anyone, even if they'll be working in Bethesda.

But Frederick County is a decent alternative, both to Bethesda and Dulles, at least in my view.

(PLUS - Southwest Airlines flies from BWI, which is accessible from Frederick County but not Loudoun County).

Hello Everyone – Thank you for the great information. Based on your comments, we’ve been giving more serious thought to the Gaithersburg/Boyds area. I would be working in the very Northern tip of Bethesda, so it seems that the commute would be a bit easier going in that direction. I actually found a web site that shows video images of DC traffic real time (no kidding, it was a link off of a website called 495 Sucks!). Frankly, the route to VA from Bethesda looks pretty discouraging most of the time, especially near the river. Surprisingly, the route north from Bethesda to the Gaithersburg area seems much less congested. There also are some fairly nice houses in that area that are relatively close to our price range – even a couple of new developments that look nice if you can put that whole Stepford Wife thing out of your mind. Please keep the thoughts and ideas coming, it has been very helpful!

I think the Kensington area is convenient & still relatively reasonable.