Relocating children to the south
 

Hello all we are in CA and can not wait to move, We live in Sac I am a single mom ( older) with three little children on my own, and to boot one has autism. I visited the south and loved the family values and slower pace, many Californians are warning me about the racism, closed minded attitutes and backwards education.. I am considering Nashville, Augusta GA, Charlotte,Raliegh,Asheville NC that is, Huntsville AL,Austin TX, Dallas or San Antonio. I love how diverse CA is but the schools(public) are not for us and the rudeness and traffic etc.. I here so much about Huntsville AL and Nashville but big concerns about racism, Texas the same thought.. we do not have family to help so we are on our own and I would like to workfull time and return to school with a quality life and family atmoshere and values, that for me equals the south! I will rent a home or apartment for awhile, not to mention rent in Sacramento is easily 1200 or more for a 3 bedroom so cost is very important. Education, and good elementary public schools are most important on my list, access to health food stores and good transportation in case your car breaks down with little ones is another factor. I know for education I might be better in midwest but winter with little ones on my own (changing clothes, losing a job due to children catching colds etc..) so I am hoping to find a educated community, with affordable rentals. WHew any advice out there?

Nat

What would you say to a southerner that was informed that all Californians are self obsessed, shallow, plastic surgery maniacs who only care about the almighty dollar?

Cold weather has nothing to do with catching colds. Being indoors with a lot of people does. I believe people in Florida catch colds as much as those in the north.
Your requirements will, most likely, lead you to a city which is also going to have the most transplanted Northerners, etc. Education will depend on the community. Virginia tests Standards of Learning (SOLS) so you can compare systems based on the results. The jury is still out on whether SOL's truly measures how good a school is at educating children. I do know that Virginia and North Carolina have excellant university systems. I wonder if a national association for autism would have info on educational systems.
I don't know of any southern city that is known for their public transportation. Others can speak for their individual cities.
Racism exists everywhere. Close-minded people live everywhere. Don't try to tell me that Californians aren't racist towards Mexicans.
I have lived all over the country: the Northeast, California etc and choose to raise my children in the south.

We all have preconceived notions. Luckily, travel and education are ways to broaden one's perspective on life. This usually increases tolerance as well.

I have lived in different parts of the country and all have their snobs and doofuses (sp?)

The South can be a lovely place to live. A suburb of a larger city can be very mixed demographically. Cities hosting universities usually breed a more educated and tolerated population.

There are websites where you can research census demographics such as ethnicity, educational level achieved, etc. There are also websites where you can reseach standardized test scores for the school districts.

Good luck.

Hi Birdie and others, I am really excited about moving south, are you suggesting Virginia or North Carolina?

Nat

Nat - I can really only tell you about my community.
I live in Williamsburg, VA which is the home of the College of William and Mary and is also a very big tourist destination. Both of these factors give Williamsburg a personality different from many southern communities. The JCC/Williamsburg school system is well thought of. W&M does not accept part-time students but Christopher Newport University and Thomas Nelson Community College both do and are about 30 minutes from Williamsburg and both offer some classes at satellite campuses in Williamsburg.
I don't even know if there are any health food stores in Williamsburg anymore but the farmers market (seasonal) and three local food stores offer a large selection of organic foods.
The bus system is pretty extensive and you can find out about rentals at
www.vagazette.com.

See now I can start researching this today. How affordable is the area? I have heard nothing but good of VI education but how diverse is the area? I have heard about Fairfax Arlington and can not afford to be near DC to expensive. As far a health food I know there is a Trader Joes in VI that I can find. Our RENT is 1000 what do you think a 3 bedroom apt might cost?

Nat

Birdie: I know you are a very helpful poster, so will try to only gently inform you that a new British study does support the notion that getting cold does increase incidence of getting a 'Cold'. They say it makes your body more succeptible to virus already present.

I have gotten colds that I attributed to airconditioning, so maybe that's why the Floridians get as many, if in fact, that is true.

Belle

Many of the current best practices in autism (in children) had their origins in North Carolina, so study up on that aspect of your move.

All I have to add is the following:

http://www.allkindsofminds.org/about_biography.aspx

I am new to this and not sure what a troll is but it is not me. Tampa is not even considered and I do not believe I mentioned black or white or any other color. My kids and I are excited about our move and researching is just a part of the process thats all. God Bless you ! And actually I believe there is quite a bit of acting in the Carolina's, Nashville, Charlston etc.


Nat

Nat

Thanks so much from SEETHEWORLD for the info on the site all kinds of minds, very informative and I believe I remember him on Oprah, did you send this for my special needs child?

Nat

Well, if this is related to your question about finding a state that has acting and commercial work for your children, maybe you should work that out first, to help you choose where you want to live.

I am from the South and lived in Florida for a year, they are no more rude or racist than people anywhere in the NE or California or elsewhere..

You will need to be close to a larger city if you want to find work but then rents are high.
You need to do a great deal of homework here and visit some of these places and find out for yourself.
Go to the library and get a lot of books and read about the towns that you are interested in..For sure, NC, SC and GA are not going to be anything like Sacto CA!
Good luck

thanks so much any have any advice on Augusta GA I am looking into programs for my son there also.

Nat

Wow, those californians sure are smart when it comes to "knowing" everything, aren't they. Those are pretty rude comments.
For "acting", you might need to put Wilmington, NC on your list. Do you have other job ready credentials that might lead you to the town of your dreams.
For health foods, bless pet, we even have health food stores that aren't Trader Joe's. They even have whole sections in supermarkets.
Charlotte was just listed as one of ONLY 2 urban school systems that exceeded the math standards test--in the entire country.
Your rent is probably not going to decrease. You might be able to do better by buying a home, however, with lovely neighborhoods in all income levels.

And I must add, the way your children will relocate ANYwhere will depend heavily on YOUR attitude to the area.

My first thought is that the cities you have named are quite different from one another. In terms of population, square miles, health care, economy, the arts, etc. For example, Nashville is a city of almost a million people with a mid-sized university and all that brings with it. It also has the country music industry. Augusta is a much smaller city with a much smaller economy, several hours from any large city, etc.

I would suggest you come up with a list of the things that mean the most to you in terms of where you live and do a little research.

Oh yes, and one of the first things I'd probably research is the availability of programs for autistic children in each area. I know that would make a difference to me.

Unfortunately, in Dallas, TX, it will be very difficult to find a nice 3 bedroom apartment (or rental house) in an area with good schools AND public transportation for much less than $1200. Most of the more affordable areas in Dallas are in Dallas ISD, and do not have very good schools. You'd need to look in the suburbs, which are more expensive. Also, there are few acting jobs in Dallas. Austin, TX is even more expensive than Dallas.

What do you do for a living? It will likely be very important for you to find a job quickly since, and it will help if we at least know in what industry you work.

aurochelle - I live in Texas having moved here from Louisiana. Your concerns about programs for your little one with autism is certainly important. If this is truly a priority for you, I'd check out what is available in each state, what the programs offer for those with autism, how long is the waiting list, etc. I'm very familiar with the programs for those with special needs in our state. To be frank, they are completely inadequate for handling the number of those who need to be served. For example, the waiting list for the programs in Texas is 10 - 15 years. In other words, if you move to Texas and find a program appropriate for your child, put his/her name on a waiting list - be prepared to wait @ 15 years for service. It is my understanding that most states in the south are equal in providing minimal help (very few dollars are allotted) to those with special needs. Hope this helps...

Please note I am not saying ALL of the south is racist, We loved Atlanta but choose not to move back, I actually appreciate and love the lifestyle of the south and most people I met. This post was regarding the move and wondering which areas might be a little more liberal or perhaps less racist. So sorry so many of you dislike CAlifornia but what can I say, again I should repeat I lived in Atlanta and choosing to move BACK south because I love it and miss it, just reseaching and learning more and more everyday, and yes many CA give the wrong advice but come to find out many of them have never been south so I would like to concentrate on the advice on the cities I mentioned and not bash California or any other city, again the kids and I are excited about this move, we enjoy church and more interested in researching the possibilities of autism support also.

Nat

many Californians are warning me about the racism, closed minded attitutes and backwards education

Don't complain about responses to your OP.

Dear Starrsville, I have apologized on more than one post. You have told me off on more than enough post. Again we are excited about our move and I will more than careful about my wording next time. You have told me about myself, my thoughts and I wonder if my post is the worst on this site, so again I am sorry I am sorry I am sorry, I was honest about the comments, and I made a mistake starsville, I am sorry I am sorry. I am now moving on to other topics like autism, cost of living etc..

Nat

To Dorkforce mom, thanks so much for post on Texas. I found a few Texas websites for special needs and your right the waiting list is years long. My daughters teacher has a autistic child and she was on a list forever, ended up having to move. I will continue to research and pray. I hope I did not offend you in my original post that was not my intention at all.

Nat

aurochelle, here is another site to help you find an autism support group once you have settled.

http://www.cec.sped.org/

The CEC is the largest organization of its kind. It has a discussion forum, which may provide support to you as well.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Nat,

I know that Madison, WI is far from the south. However, I wanted to let you know that there is a waiver program here that is nearly fully funded that provides considerable $$$ for families impacted by autism. The Waisman Center is an internationally known center on disabilities. And, the city has everything you are looking for, along with unemployment in the 2% range.

We relocated last year from the Chicago area due to the excellent public schools and the top notch services for adults with special needs. Our 13 year-old with cerebral palsy has made a great adjustment as have our other three kids.

Good luck to you in your search. I'd suggest you research interesting areas of the country through CAN (Cure Autism Now) where a lot of active families will be willing to provide feedback.

Regards,

Kevin

My daughter in law is getting her PhD in psychology - specifically working with autistic children. She is from NC (Raleigh) and is studying in NY. Her father runs the psychology department of a small college in Raleigh. We were discussing the costs associated with autistic education in NC vs. NY. NY has a voucher system and the children have access to very good programs at no additional cost (beyond their very high taxes!). In NC the programs are funded much more by the impacted families. So while the treatments may be very good - they are very expensive. As you investigate autistic educational opportunities - please keep in mind any costs you must bear for this education. I didn't realize it varied so widely by state.

In addition to investigating schools, I'd think about longterm assistance. For example, how old is your child with autism? Are you planning on staying in this new locale for that time in which your child ages out of school? (which is 21 years of age) While that may seem like forever into the future, the time does pass quickly, in which case you'll want to examine programs available/waiting lists for those in the community/statewide with special needs. We moved from Louisiana to Texas when my daughter was 2. She is severely disabled and, to be frank, it never dawned on me to check into what needs she'd have as an adult. She is turning 21 this year and the programs she's been on go away then. I realize this is way more info than you needed - I'm just reminding you to think longterm. Sometimes, for me, the immediate needs of today cloud thinking for tomorrow. Hope this is helpful...

Hi Julie and Dorkforcemom, long term is so important. The thing is CA and NY offer the most in terms of services after age 21. I am learning its a real struggle in Texas even Austin, My friend just emailed me suggesting that we do not consider Texas short or long term. Julie where is your daughter studying in NY? is she upstate? NY is very expensive but I am not sure about upstate NY ? We have some extended family in the south but the are just as concerned as I about long term for my son, he is six. I left GA when he was very little because of lack of services.Many of parents support group parents moved to Madison or CA or NY to get the same program I did. My mother got her PH D in Madison is a wonderful city, my concern is the weather (winter) another thing is my son does have a eating disorder, this whole thing is challenging but I am determined to stay strong and raise the kids as best I can. I quess sometimes after doing a 40 hour fulltime home program for autism, well sometimes I take a moment and remember how much I miss the south, friends, quality of life, slower life etc.. I wanted to respond to the post earlier about Madison, its the winter that concerns me.

Nat

Why don't you look at a different part of California? Or even a different area in Sacramento? The schools vary from school district to school district, but they all have to comply with the same State and Federal laws re special education. What exactly is it about the schools your children attend that you don't like?

Nat.. she is at Binghamton (my daughter in law).... That part of the state is very cheap - except for taxes. You can still find a house for 100K... However, you may not be able to find a job...

Hi aurochelle, good luck! We left Sacto for the exact same reasons 13 yrs ago. We ended up choosing Madison WI, after research (Places Rated book helped alot, as did visiting 3 of our "finals" for a few days). The people on the ohone while were were calling w/many questions were SO helpful here in WI. People in Milwaukeee even invited us into there homes to tealk t ous. I'm originally from Detroit, so the cold was actually a welcome change from the hot Sacramento valley. It was hard at first, since we have no family in the state, and CA is a nice place to visit but if you're not comfortable there, why stay? We also considered Asheville but the job situation here was much better. It was lovely & friendly in Asheville.
Take care.
Sue

Sorry, bad typing.

I noticed that you mentioned Augusta Ga. I am sure that you know that it is the location of the Medical College of Georgia. It might be worth your while to see if they are doing any research into autism. I know that do a lot of very good work in a lot of areas. My son got his MD there. There are a lot of hospitals and a University level college (I forget it's name)

Usually when you find a community such as that around a Medical School and University, you will find that the school systems reflect a higher level of achievment. Better educated parents insist on good schools for their children.

Augusta summers are HOT, but the winters are quite mild. If you like the Southern Style of life, I think you would like Augusta.

Barbara CA for me is very expensive, For instance Orange County has some of the best schools but rent is $ 2,000 and up oh thats if you are lucky. Sue Madison is so beautiful my mother and I had great memories. Do you have a autistic child? Sac is very hot so I am use to heat and humid weather afte GA, I always look at the medical centers because find a dentist or doctor in general familiar with autism really helps! you know what Augusta looks really beautiful, I only know one person who moved from there but it seems small enough to meet people. No state will have the resources like CA for autism but I have to remember I have
to other little girls that need to have a healthy life, I try not make it all about my son but you almost have to. CA has alot of CDC which is after school care free on most elementary sites if you qualify, I am having a hard time locating the same in some cities, I found in NC alot of parents mentioned the YMCA but I have not got the cost or if its sliding scale, also so far no respite in any other states.

Nat

Hi Sue I am wondering if you did a comparison of Sac vs Madison, for instance in CA we do get respite paid thru the state, and resources, I am wondering if you receive the same or more in Madison, I know the public school education is wonderful, I went to middle school in Madison, family values its so much more diverse and more expensive but I was just wondering?
SO many families with special needs children want to move on but worry that the resources will be less than here. Its funny connecting with the autism society of GA sometimes the smaller towns have the stronger support groups, such as Augusta.

nat
nat

I would narrow my choices down by doing the research for autism programs. I'll toot Nashville's horn now. Vanderbilt University has brand spankin' new (get used to expressions like that) Childrens Hospital and a top-notch teacher's education program. Between the two of them, I would think there are good things going on in working with autistic children. Quality of life wise, I think it's great. We have many California transplants due to the music industry and Nissan just announcing they are moving their North American HQ here (from LA). We have friendly people, four seasons, health food stores, foreign films and interracial dating and marriages here.

You might want to look at New Mexico. I know of a family who recently left Texas for NM because it had significantly better programs for special needs children.

I would highly recommend Roanoke, Va which is in Southwest Va. It has an amazing school system, is known for less expensive (but nice) housing, and has much to offer. Also, if you live in Va, your children will have access to an amazing state college system, including Va. Tech, UVA, William & Mary, Jame Madison University, Longwood, etc. which would be less expensive for you as a resident.