problem strikes family vacation plans
 

our family was planning to go to the San Diego area in late August, but we just found out that our daughter will be about 8 months pregnant. my husband wants to call it off, but i want the schedule to resume as normal because i don't want to punish or ostracize her. is there anybody out there who has travelled that close to their due date? any suggestions on what to do?

I traveled by car from Chicago suburbs to northern N.Y. when I was 7-1/2 months pregnant. It was a 13-14 hour drive and my doctor was not thrilled with it but we were going to see my mother so I was intent on going..He said that we had to stop every couple hours so that I could get out of the car and walk so my legs and feet would not swell..which we did as instructed and everything went just fine. That was 27 years ago and doctors now days have all different views so I would suggest that she just talk it over with her doctor and see what he thinks. <BR>I don't know if you were planning to drive or fly but that could make a difference also. I hope that everything works out for you..

Things might have changed, but I don't believe the airlines will allow women to fly in their last month of pregnancy.

Wouldn't that make her 5 1/2 months pregnant now? You're saying you just found out? If she's as young as she sounds she'll probably want to go on vacation. If she's older she might want to stay home anyway. Have you asked her?

Talk to daughter & have her talk to her doctor. My oldest was born in August. It was hot, 90s and up, I had elephant legs - NO ankles at all - the entire last month of pregnancy, I was big as a house and miserable, touring someplace on vacation was the last thing I wanted to do. If you WANT to punish your daughter, make her take a trip when she is 8 months pregnant! If she does take the trip with you, make sure insurance coverage will cover her in Califormia if she delivers early and be prepared to shell out extra cash to change reservations if she ends up having the baby at a time that will conflict with reservations home. Also don't expect her to do anything very strenuous - she may just want to sit in the pool or in a nice air-conditioned room. My boss still talks about a business trip she took 10 years ago with a coworker who was 8 months pregnant at the time, and how pregnant lady was unconcerned but coworkers & boss who traveled with her couldn't enjoy trip because they were so worried about her. (She was apparently big as a Volkswagon beetle at the time). This isn't a problem, it's your grandchild- Congrats!

Talk to the doctor. I would think that it is not advisable, especially if there is a flight involved. I don't know where you are coming from or how far, but there is a lot of swelling involved during the last few weeks and toxemia can develop. (I swell on planes and in hot weather and I am not pregnant). Babies come when they want, but for me, it was better to be near the doctor that had been taking care of me during my pregnancy. True, San Diego has lots of obgyns, but does your daughter really want to take the chance of having a stranger deliver her baby? San Diego can be on the warm-but-breezy humid side, and if you go inland near Escondido, (Wild Animal Park area), it is a furnace. It also gets pretty warm as you near the border of Mexico. Outings in San Diego require quite a bit of walking, whether it be to the S.D. Zoo, Wild Animal Park, Sea World, Old Town, Balboa Park, Gas District, etc. <BR>I am sorry that you feel that she would be 'punished' by being excluded. Vacations can take place later on...this baby already knows when he/she is coming.

Also, do not count on 24-hour air conditioning in buildings and hotel rooms. San Diego Gas & Electric has already given us several power outages and it isn't even that hot yet...

If you're just finding out your daughter is pregnant, it sounds like you need family counseling more than a family vacation! You're husband is right, who wants to be traveling with some cranky, knocked-up broad?!

My sister and I travelled during our 8th month (I did during BOTH my pregnancies) and we were fine. We were not the least bit cranky. This was during July and August for me, and in June in Bermuda for my sister. Absolutely no different for us than travelling when we weren't pregnant, with the exception of more bathroom breaks! In fact, it was more relaxing than being home. Just take it easy on the vacation. I'm assuming your daughter is young, which would probably make the pregnancy even easier on her than an older mother (we were both in our early and mid-thirties at the time). I say check with the doctor and go now BEFORE the baby comes! Try to enjoy one last family vacation and ignore the mean spirited and judgemental posts. We should all have such perfect and stress free lives that we can judge others! Go and have fun.

If your daughter is young, she is more prone to complications of pregnancy, such as toxemia, premature labor, etc. I wouldn't stray too far from home. Kudos to you and your family for supporting continuing the pregnancy and not promoting abortion.

Boy, this is a troll if I ever saw one, but I'll take the bait and agree with mchenry. My best suggestion is to skip the vacation and get some counseling. You sound totally screwed up.

suzie, <BR>how old is your daughter -- 14 and in junior high? sounds like there are some issues here. but at least you have the money to go to S.D. i take it you are not in a trailer home?

Some of you people have really short fuses. What makes you think the daughter is a minor? That she isn't married? Let's hold off on the abortion discussion and the family counseling until you have a few more facts, shall we? <BR> <BR>That said, I've been pregnant 3 times, and tramping around a hot place like San Diego would have finished me off for sure. The waddling, the bathroom needs, the balance issues, the constant pressure on your whatzit. No way.

One thing you need to consider is her insurance and how far away San Diego is from her home. Some insurance carriers will not cover expectant mothers who travel outside the standard coverage area during the last trimester.

your "just finding out" that your daughter is pregnant reminds me of a funny story in our family. my sister hid her pregnancy and didn't tell a sole -- myself included. it all came crashing down one day when my mom decided to hand my sister a fresh towel while she was in the shower. to this day i have never heard a woman scream like that again. everything turned out all right and we had a new addition to the family 2 months later. <BR>as far as advice -- don't have any

I'm happy to see the nitwit factor was held to a minimum. I would have thought the answer obvious - do whatever your doctor's daughter recommends. If there's any medical or other issue, or any doubt, remain here. One thing no one should be doing is taking risk right now. Your husband is probably facing up to the uncertainty ... which is the reality here. Too bad, but SD will be there for another time. Suzie, is the thing you're not telling us the real reason for the posting ... and perhaps that's the hard issue, not the one about going or not going. Ciao

i have to admit our family is in turmoil about the situation. my daughter is young and still in school. this is tearing our hearts out. she wants to go on vacation, but with the responses i read i think we are being short-sighted about the whole thing. we are cancelling, especially after checking into the insurance. thanks ann

A good decision, Suzie. Not only is she more prone to complications and would be unhappy with a strange doctor should it come to that, I believe the airlines will not allow a baby to fly until it's a certain age either. Neighbors found this out when adopting in Denver. They had to drive the baby back to California. Good luck to all of you.

Sounds like a good decision, so hope you can find some fun, low-key things to do in your own area this summer. <BR>

Suzie: <BR> <BR>I was kinda skim reading the responses, it began to feel like a game of "telephone" but, you did say that DD was STILL in school and that you are not a troll...am I making some of this up? <BR>GO...take the rest of the family so that THEY will not be punished or ostracized. IMO, you got the focus a little wrong as for which family member you should be thinking about at this time. <BR>However, with your concerns for "little momma" (is this concern thing new...?)you may want to enroll in one of those Grandparents who raise their grandkids classes cause...oh never mind. <BR> <BR>My Best <BR>Oaktown

Suzie, this baby will definitely change her life, but it is not going to ruin it. We all have dreams and high hopes for our children, but sometimes they get altered. The keyword here is, 'altered'. Try to do some things closer to home, wherever you are. San Diego is not going anywhere...it is just that you will have a stroller and baby car seat the next time you visit... If you start to concentrate on the future, the heaviness in your heart will dissipate.

this is your daughter's problem, not the rest of the family's. make her stay home and take the rest of the family. maybe she will realize the trouble she got herself in. the rest of the family will resent her and the child if you don't take them.

Suzie, glad I could help. <BR> <BR>I had a friend in high school who got pregnant when she was 16. She and her boyfriend got married, and they are stilled married (with 2 additional) children) at age 32. She says that of course she wouldn't do it that way again, and they've had some really rough times, but in the end it worked out, and they are a wonderful, happy family. Best of luck to you and your family.

i guess i am not surprised that teenage pregnancy issue hit this board. now where does that leave us: domestic situations about bathing suits, all kinds of raunchy escapades on planes and now this. these are the only reasons i read this!!!!!!!!

Ann is right. Most insurance Cos. will not cover the delivery if it happens outside of the insurance coverage area. My mom had surgery and I travelled to visit her at about 8 mos. pregnant knowing that I would have to pay out of pocket if the baby came early while I was out of town. There are a couple of questions you want to answer before she travels. Is this her first? If not was she early, late or on time with the other pregnancies? If her first, was her mother early, late or on time with all of her pregnancies? Usually the daughter and mother will have similar patterns except where there is an extraneous circumstance. For example, my mom was late with two of her three pregnancies and the one who was on time came after she spent the morning moving heavy furniture around her living room. I was late with all three of my children and I didn't try to move furniture.