Please help...
 

Hi
I have a bit of a dilema.
I am a 40+ year old American woman, going to elope with a 40+ year old Canadian male. We will be eloping on the NY side of Niagara Falls in one month.
(I'll fly into Toronto, and the both of us will drive over to NY.)
We did this a few weeks ago, to get our license. The Canadian customs agent gave us a very hard time, asking us how we knew each other(probably due to the fact he had a Canadian passport and I had a US one), if we were married, how long we knew each other, etc etc.
I am terrified customs will ask us if we are married. I'm sure their concern is, if we are married, that one of us wont leave the others country(i will have a copy of my return airline ticket with me), and our entry will be denied. I guess I will have my short wedding dress in the trunk since I dont want to wear it across the border--hopefully they wont check that! I would prefer just telling them, we are going to get married, but am terrified they will deny us entry.
We could say we are going to the Casino, or going shopping, but why would I have such a nice dress in the trunk with me????? We know no one in Niagara Falls either.
I have started the immigration process, but have no plans to move till the end of April/May.
Does anyone have any ideas as to how to handle the customs people??
I know u should never lie, but u shouldnt divulge information unless asked.
Please help!
Thank u

Have you thought of contact the immigration services of both countries?

I guess my question is how you would think that ANYBODY here would be an expert on such legal matters as opposed to calling those who really WOULD know -- as Howard suggested. Listening to the guesses of a bunch of people on a website (even thought they may be well-meaning) is hardly the way to stay out of legal trouble.

You have a bit of paranoia not a bit of a dilema.

Patrick and Howard have both offered you sage advice, contact customs and immigration on both sides.

I see this is your first post. Why did you choose this board to ask this question?

I agree with the others, contact immigration.

I suspect the OP is so afraid of immigration officials that she is loathe to contact them.
But jacer, you should call immigration and deal with what they tell you. Your only other option is to wing it, which, as you yourself point out, could go wrong. Good luck!

Congratuations on your upcoming wedding. I've never been married but was wondering why you're getting married now but don't plan to move in together until April/May. I know, it's none of my business.

One way around the immigration issue: he drives, you fly to Buffalo.

Am I the only one here who doesn't understand the issue?

As an American citizen I went to Canada twice, first time with my 16-year-old son, second time with my father and his "girlfriend". Both times we were questioned as why are we going, for how long, who are we going to meet there, etc... These are normal questions asked at the border.

Why are you terrified? Why can't 2 friends travel together?

If it is legal what you are doing, which I assume it is, why are you so afraid.

<why would I have such a nice dress in the trunk with me?????> I don't think it is illegal to take a wedding dress across the border.

Seriously, you need to ask immigration office or a lawyer versed in this area. To know <how to handle the customs people> you simply need to know what is allowed and what isn't.

I've been thinking about this post today and now I start to wonder. Usually when someone is concerned about the "legality" or the "ethics" of something, it is because she herself has doubts about it. You seem to act like you're doing something very shady and undercover -- getting married sneakily. Is it perhaps because in reality you really are looking to beat some system -- like one become a citizen by marriage of the other country?

Jacer as an under 30 year AMerican woman married to an under 30 year old Canadian Male. Get the immigration process cleared before you do anything. There are forums on the internest where you can trade advice with others going through the same situation and there are even immigration lawyers on these forums.

You technically can go to Canada on a 6 months travelers visa that you don't have to apply for it just "is". However if you are caught lying to an immigration or customs agent the consequences can be HUGE! I would look into the regulations before doing anything. I can't give too much advice as my Canadian husband moved to the U.S. not the other way around like yourself. Good luck and please be careful as immigration problems are not fun to have and I can atest to that, we had several and we weren't trying to trick the system.

jacer: just wanted to add one more thought. I know that it seems simple to say you are just in Canada visiting and elope in the process. The being caught is what comes later in the immigration process. They will most likely ask if you crossed the boarder married or if it was a last minute decision. If they think you are lying about that is when you get into trouble. Couples will get married without getting proper "clearance" to do so and end up in trouble because they consciously lied to a border agent by saying they were visiting and were planning on getting married. Just a bit of advice as I didn't have the best experience with my husband moving to the states. I wouldn't want to see anyone make there situations worse which can very easily be done. Fortunately I have heard that it is easier for a Canadian to bring a fiance to Canada than an American to bring a fiance to the U.S.A.