But...we're having so much fun bashing Texas!

I really wish the OP would have come back to offer a report! I'd love to know what they ended up doing.

I am sure you have taken your trip by now, but skip Houston. Unless your idea of a vacation hot spot is to see endless generic shopping centers and miles of littered highways, Houston has little to offer. San Antonio, Austin, Fort Worth, Galveston and Hill Country are all worth a visit. I travel for work and pleasure all over the US and the rest of the world, and I can think of no large city I would find less interesting than Houston.