Neal Sanders

The two most talked-about spots around Boston this summer aren’t Edgartown or Wellfleet, York Beach or Ogonquit, or even Lake Winnipesaukee. Rather, the two locales that occupy Friday afternoon and Monday morning conversations around my office are rather ordinary landmarks: the Bourne Bridge and the Hampton Tolls. The former is a not-very-attractive-four lane affair that dumps Cape-bound traffic onto the Bourne Rotary. The latter is a toll plaza that extracts a dollar in each direction from every vehicle attempting to traverse the sixteen miles of Interstate 95 that lie within New Hampshire.

The reason that these two locales cause so much talk is traffic. Friday evening traffic on the Bourne Bridge routinely backs up five to six miles. The wait to get through the Hampton Tolls can exceed half an hour. And so, my office mates plot and plan to time their arrival at these bottlenecks at exactly the point in time when traffic will be at its lightest. They leave the office at 11 a.m. on Friday or return Monday mid-afternoon or even Tuesday morning. And, almost routinely, they are thwarted by the gaper’s block or the spilled cargo of gravel.

They endure these indignities because they are headed for their vacation homes. They own “a place on the Cape” or a condo on a New Hampshire lake or a cottage near the beach in Maine. These are prosperous people by and large; their second homes are part of their announcement that they have arrived. In this way, they are no different from their peers in every metropolitan area. Whether you live in Seattle or Atlanta, Dallas or Chicago, for those who accumulate some degree of wealth, the vacation home seems to be almost obligatory.

At this point, I will acknowledge that if you live in an apartment in the middle of a city, a vacation home makes perfect sense. I have lived in the middle of cities and I understand the need to get away. To those of you who read this who are cliff dwellers – and especially those of you who live in New York City – I absolve you of all sin. But the people who gathered around the coffee machine this morning to grouse about Sunday afternoon’s seven-mile backup don’t live in apartments. They live in pleasant suburban houses with broad lawns. Lakes, beaches and tennis courts surround them.

And because they own a vacation home, they will not travel this summer. They will not see the Grand Canyon or Yosemite; they won’t spend a week in Manhattan or San Francisco. Tuscany will not beckon in this or any other summer. Why? Because once you own a vacation home, you become a slave to it. There are windows and screens to be mended, septic tanks to be pumped out, and poison ivy to be eradicated. A vacation home requires constant upkeep. Goodbye Rome, hello Roto Rooter.

Most of the homes on the street on which I live are deserted this summer. The families have decamped en masse for Martha’s Vineyard, Kennebunkport and other serene locales. An adult is present in a few of the homes for three or four days a week, someone who must be at an office or in court. But mostly, the homes are vacant; only the presence of the lawn service every week breaks the quiet.

I don’t understand the vacation home. I can’t comprehend sitting in traffic at the Hampton Tolls for an hour. I don’t get doing dishes while on vacation or trying to fix a leaking sink in a house that is unoccupied two-thirds of the year. I cannot fathom why someone would surrender the opportunity to see America or the world in order to stay in the same place year after year.

If there is someone out there who has a vacation home (and who does not live in an apartment in a city) who can explain its allure to me, please reply.

Cindy

Neal, I don't own a vacation home, but I'd like to say that I think you come up with some of the most interesting discussion points of anyone on the forum.

That said, I guess people like the idea of having a vacation asset (maybe the only vacation asset) that could possibly appreciate over time.

But I agree that the trade-off is an odd one. If you rent your second home while not using it, you must hire and supervise a management company, and you must endure strangers abusing your things. If you don't rent it, it sits unused and cannot be profitable in the short term.

But for some reason, the idea of a second home still does sound intriguing. I wonder why.

Mary Sue

I totally agree with you , Neal. This is something that my husband and I were just talking about the other day. I don't know why anyone would choose to return to the same place time after time. I work with people who don't own a second home or vacation condo but insist on returning to Panama City, Gatlinburg or Myrtle Beach every year, and staying at the same high-rise motel or motor lodge (I live in Kentucky and to a lot of people here those places are wonderful). The thought of this depresses me. Even if we were to go on a beach vacation every year, I would not want to go to the same destination.

The other issue about vacation homes is that they become such an obligation. I know if I owned a cabin in the mountains - or even a houseboat, which are popular around here - I would feel I HAD to spend every weekend there in order to justify it. My in-laws in DC are constantly fighting traffic to run up to Rehoboth to their condo on the weekends. They have to stock up on groceries, do laundry and chores and change beds in 2 places instead of 1. No thanks.

Joe

I live in a semi-suburban condo development with 3 swimming pools, 12 tennis courts and an excersise room. It's also surrounded by open lawns and wooded areas. I'm spending my next short vacation right here at home, specifically to avoid the traffic on the roads and the hassles at the airport. I'll save my travelling vacations for something more adventurous and interesting than a motel at the beach.

Ann

Neal, I just lost my very long response (inadvertant editing?) so I'll try again.

I personally wonder if the phenomenon of owning a second home is more prevalant in the East than elsewhere. I think the tradition may have a lot to do with the lack of air conditioning in the past, and mothers who didn't work. Having a home on the Cape or at the beach in Maine made sense for these folks...Mom and the kids went up to the summer place all summer while dad visited on weekends. My husband's grandparents had a summer home in Hull (now considered a suburb of Boston) and his parents had a home in Old Orchard Beach, Maine. There is a tradition of leaving the city (or suburbs)in the summer.

In this day and age of central air, working mothers, etc. I think people may still benefit from the second home if their lives are so pressured that they just can't seem to get away long enough to really travel. I've seen my own plans fall through time and again due to my husband not being able to get away (we were supposed to take next week off in fact, but he couldn't get that week off). If you have a place within driving distance at least you can feel like you're on vacation even if you only have a weekend.

I'd rather have a sure bet for every weekend (or longer) than constantly see my plans for exotic travel fall through because of overriding business pressures. They always try to sell time share weeks by saying it forces you to take a vacation. Well, if you have a house/condo nearby, it's also going to force you to use it.

My brother wastes more timeshare weeks than most people own because he never seems to be able to get away long enough to use them. I've seen him cancel major vacations at a moment's notice due to business pressures (much to his wife's anger) and he's always carping about never having time to get to Paris/Hawaii/Mexico for a vacation. Well, he's a perfect candidate for a vacation home within driving distance of his primary home (I recently got him interested in the concept). After your recent report on your business trip to San Jose (which I loved by the way) I'd think you'd be up in New Hampshire consulting with realtors yourself!

Bottom line (aside from the real bottom line...can I afford a second home?) seems to be personal choice. To some people, vacation=trip to Paris. To others it's vegging out on the deck in the same place in Maine/Cape Cod year after year. I guess the really lucky ones are those who can plan the trip to Paris while sitting on the poarch on the Cape.

Some day I'd love a place in Maine or NH, and I'd really like to park my RV in the drive! ;-).

kam

Neal, you are so on target it's frightening! We built a vacation home when our kids were little in a second home community in northwest Illinois. To be perfectly truthful, I think we did this in a moment of madness, but somehow thought it would be great for the kids. It turned out to be the biggest albatross you could imagine. Having lived in California for the last 12 years, we just managed to sell the vacation house this past spring! For 12 years it has been a source of worry, maintenance headaches and controversy with a "friend" back in Chicago who was using it and keeping it up for us. Thank you, God, that we could unload it! I actually came to hate that house and never felt free to spend a spontaneous weekend anywhere else. NEVER AGAIN! By the way, not as bad as the bridges, but there are four toll booths on the Northwest Tollway in Illinois where you wait to deposit your 35 cents---why can't it work like a real turnpike?

herself

I have the home in the country with swimming pool and volley ball court, and I own a "vacation home". The vacation home is a condo in ski country. It was great when our children were teenagers. Kept the family together and happy. Later, the rental fees paid all the expenses of the condo plus gave us an extra $4,000 per year. Condo is still there, still rented out some of the time, and still a place where the family gathers and has fun. It has been a good investment. Being a condo, we don't worry about it. Everything is in place to rent, clean and supervise it. We don't own a boat for all the reasons posted on this Vacation Home post. I would not want to spend every weekend doing the same activity, and would not want to rent the boat.

Eva

Wow. What a tough question. I agree with you in many respects. I consider my suburban home, with community amenities such as tennis and pool, and with heavy woods and hiking trails, an escape for me, year-round. And I think about those lemmings, stuck in traffic on US 50 for miles before the Bay Bridge on their way to Ocean City, Rehoboth Beach, Dewey Beach -- weekend after weekend, year after year -- as suckers, slaves to a routine they can't seem to break, giving up a world of opportunity because they can't see beyond the obvious, or they can't break away from their routine.

But at the same time, I do own a vacation home of sorts (at least I've convinced the IRS of it), in that I own a good-sized sailboat which I keep in Annapolis, 25 minutes from my home. From April to November, it sees use at least every other weekend (weather permitting), if not more often. I can sail for a few hours, or for a few days, but the key difference is that I rarely have the same itinerary -- always a different overnight anchorage, a different place to swim, a different restaurant for lunch, a different menu for on-board meals.

And because I didn't stretch to the edge of my means to buy it, dock it or maintain it, I don't feel guilty when I choose to go away for the weekend, or do something other than sailing. And if I don't want to spend a weekend working on the boat, I can write a check and have someone else do it (although my husband actually enjoys the work). None of this ever stops us from taking vacations. At the same time, when the weather is nice, there is not much I would RATHER do. There is a lot of pleasure in it, and a lot of pride. There is also a feeling of escape from everyday routine, which even those of us whose homes are havens crave (especially since many of my clients have my home phone number, but are not willing to raise me on the VHF -- shh! don't tell them I bring a cell phone with me!)

I guess I have the best of both worlds.

Alex

The solution to this problem is to own two or three "second" homes. Why not own a place in the city, a lodge at a ski resort, a cottage on the beach, and a villa in Tuscany? A lot of people do it! Plus, you can always hire a staff to do the work.

Noach

Neal, I agree with you. I hate it when people don't travel, then they go away somewhere try to tell you they travel. The nerve of some people. That's like someone posting on this board, who's never really traveled.

Jeanette

Neal, you have hit on a basic TOPIC. At the two places that I have done business with today- the main discussions were the state of the expressways yesterday coming home from Indiana and / or Michigan. At one place someone actually hand drew a great map of how it is possible to exit I-80/94 and cut across several areas of NW Indiana eliminating at least 1 hour from the standstill. Yesterday a 2 hour drive from South Haven, Michigan took about 5 hours in the rain IF you were smart enough to exit the expressway or tollroad. kam, I think we are leading
a double life in different locations. As a former second and third "vacation
house" owner- let me tell you that it is not a task for the weak hearted. My ex (married over 20 years) still has the ownership "bug." Neal, it is more about investment and entertainment for business purposes, for the most part, than it is for any leisure or laid back country living. I thank God every day that I no longer have to remember which house needs the ketchup / towels or whatever. I have seen more in the last six years since I am almost "property-free" than in all my adult years combined before that. I do appreciate that some of my most cherished peers truly love the two house experience. BUT they do not vacation anywhere else- and are sweet people who don't like change or any "new" thing that requires the unknown or a sense of adventure. Most of my most dearest (30 years plus) friends are "owning" large condos also in different areas of Florida and/or Arizona. One is nursing a broken leg from hanging wall paper in her second "vacation" home in Sarasota. She also has a large vacation house in Paw-Paw Michigan. She spends all of her time running between the three homes and entertaining/ fixing. She is a virtual Martha Stewart but WHY??? Alex, there is never enough money to pay for all the help you would need, unless you are fully a multi-millionaire. I think this phoenomenon is NOT just in the East, but in the Midwest as well. The boat bug is even bigger here than the vacation house bug. My theory is that as baby boomers we have a "mixed work ethic" psychology. Like our parents, we
live their "LIFE IS TOUGH < WORK HARD AND GET AHEAD" basic underpinings- BUT at the same time we also have the post
60's "LIFE IS SHORT < PLAY HARD" of the
generation that has followed us. Many are in the financial position also of using property as an investment. I know, like my ex, that some people are basically too "tight" with money to spend on travel- it isn't something that you can resell. Personally my travel memories are some of my most priceless- and the learning experience of the "new" goes beyond any monetary value. I do miss my lake swims very much and have not been able to replace that experience anywhere close to where my life is now. But I still would not trade off that for missing much more of the beauty of the world in all its differences.

arjay

Frankly, I'm a little surprised to see such a judgemental, "Why do they...." post from the usually savvy and very civilized Neal, whose input I've always found informative. We were Chicagoans (home-owning city dwellers) who owned a second home five hours away for 9 years before making it our full-time home four and a half years ago. We did not make the purchase with thoughts of it becoming our retirement home - in fact, as a still confirmed city-rat, I found that particular idea alarming in the early years. But our funny little farmhouse and its peaceful rural setting grew on us in a way we never would have expected. Owning a second home did not preclude our travel to other places, but it did provide a wonderful sense of peace whenever we were there (here!). During our two-home years, there was never a five-minute period that I regretted having the second place. Now, frankly I can't imagine enduring the kind of traffic that you speak of Neal, and some of the other posters, but mostly, in our back-and-forthing thru the years, we did not have all that much hassle. Actually, my "who do they..." question would be about those people who choose to drive to work every single day and endure (and create) god-awful congestion while contributing noxious, harmful fumes to the atmosphere. But that's not the kind of "travel" we explore here.

Charles

I think I can speak somewhat directly to you Neal - I live in Boston and have a house on Martha's Vineyard. First (and actually a meaningless quibble), it actually doesn't take that long to get to the Vineyard. It's rare for the trip to the ferry to take over an hour and a half on friday evenings in the summer. I suppose it might if I left precisely at 5 - I usually leave at 6:30 - (from Central Boston). I own it because it gives me a great deal of pleasure to sit in the woods on the Vineyard, play with my boat (which I also have) and there is nowhere else on earth I'd rather be on a summer weekend. Where could it be more beautiful? THat said, I don't see it as an either or thing between a second house and travel - I go to the Vineyard for weekends, and when I go farther away I go for a longer time.

That said, I do think that there are dfinitely second house people and non-second house people, which has nothing to do with finances. Some people (me, for instance) enjoy walking into a house and knowing its theirs, and being able to store things (when I go down I don't pack anything - its all there already) and the ability to spend time with friends and family (its very easy to get people to visit you for free). THe house has really enriched my life. That said, I do enjoy household maintenance - a summer weekend spent working on the house is a well spent weekend for me.

Hope this is moderately explanatory

asdf

Now why would anyone take issue with the validity of Neal's post? There seems to be a feeling on the forum that if someone poses a "Why do they . . . " style post, they are trying to start trouble. I strongly disagree, because whether the post is objectionable depends on how it is phrased and how people phrase their responses. Neal surely held up his end of the bargain by taking the time to write a polite, thought-provoking post, and all of the responses to date have been equally polite and well-reasoned. So what's the problem?

Karl

I think Charles' comments are succinct and insightful.
I perceive that there are "second house people" and non-SHP. Those who are SHP tend to lean toward routines in their lives and derive comfort/pleasure from having and returning to their own piece of space.
I am a non-SHP who values novelty very highly in my travels. I do not enjoy returning to a place I found quite pleasant as much as going someplace new I think I might like better. The downside of this is that I've run out of places to visit in the US and Canada and am now picking off overseas locations which require more time and dollars.
My wife and I agree that we'd much rather take whatever $$ we'd spend on second home costs and spend them on nice trips to varying destinations of our choosing. We're 'wanderers' rather than 'nesters' I suppose.

Neal Sanders

To everyone, I am stunned that my rambling essay drew any responses, much less 14. Thanks to all for their replies and thoughts.

Ann, I think you’re correct that the summer home is rooted in a 19th century past. Not only was there no air conditioning; the smell of a city in a pre-automotive era could be just plain overwhelming. Also, there was malaria, diphtheria, and who knows what else. Hence, getting out of the city made perfect sense for those who could afford it. The question becomes, at what point did that summer home cease to have a health/sanitation/quality-of-life rationale and become just a “lifestyle” decision? Perhaps it was when the last horse-drawn honey wagon left the streets, or when large numbers of people began moving to the suburbs. Almost certainly it coincided with the widespread use of air conditioning.

I’m not so certain about it being an East Coast phenomenon. I have friends in LA who commute on weekends to Big Bear Lake, in Miami who trudge down to Islamorada, and in San Francisco who make the trek to Incline Village. Jeanette and Kam write about vacation home travails in the Midwest. I’ve also seen vacation home villages popping up throughout the South and Southwest. They can’t all be coming from Philadelphia.

Arjay, my intent wasn’t to be judgmental, though, if I squint just right when I re-read what I wrote, it can certainly come across that way. My posting was born of a lack of comprehension of why people want to set up housekeeping in the same place year after year when there are so many places to see. It took Charles and Karl to offer a simple answer – there are some who are simply “second house people.” I know I’m not one of them. Perhaps it is genetic and some of us need to “nest” when we travel. For myself, I know that my wanderlust is, at least in part, a product of not having traveled at all when I was young.

Again, these replies are wonderful. Thank you.

ellen griswold

Neal, thank you for originating such a profound discussion! My dh "Clark" and I discuss this often. In the defense of summer-home/place people: when our two kids (russ and audrey) were young, we made yearly treks to the beach with Clark's entire family. It was great fun being with all the cousins and much easier, considering the kids' ages. We did however, try NEW beaches and certainly new accomodations each year.

When the kids got a little older, we started taking our cross-country road trips. We ALL had become bored at the beach and I wanted them to see this great country before they went to college. Our 3-4 week jaunts each summer are the highlight of the year!

However, you can't even imagine the people who are shocked that we can tolerate such long drives, packing and unpacking every night or two, and the myriad of other misc. messes we encounter on such a journey! Are they envious or do they just not understand?! Our road trips are such an adventure! We've seen such incredible scenery, encountered and observed such interesting people, tasted and enjoyed more than I can possibly list here - and expanded not only the kids' horizon, but ours as well. We all "bigger" people for our travels, and while a beach respit sounds great after 4 weeks on the road, we wouldn't trade our travels for the world.

Thanks again, Neal!

Charles

Neal,

I just wanted to tell you that I appreciated your original post- I've discussed the subject with friends and girlfriends many times. For what its worth, I think the key to having a second house for someone like myself, who likes travel, is to not be tied to it. In the last year, for example, I've been to California, New York, Vermont, Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado and Washington DC. Admittedly, I do think it comes down to how an individual values certain things, ie. comfort vs. novelty. There is no right answer - as an economist friend of mine would put it, we all have our own utility curves.

Larry

Of course Neal is right. To prove it, one only has to go to the Cape, the Jersey Shore, the Hamptons, Islamorada, etc, on any given summer weekend, and look at the people. It is so obvious they are having a lousy time due to having to fight the traffic. The looks of boredom and discontent are written all over their faces! And every vacation home has a for sale sign because it's just sooooo monotonous. I mean, the idea of having a good time, AND THEN GOING BACK TO DO IT AGAIN, is just so stupid. That would be lake a man meeting a great woman and starting to date her, rather than moving on to the next one, which would obviously be the right thing to do.
NOT!

Monica Richards

While I don't really understand the whole summer vacation house thing, I certainly understand the ski condo thing! People in the SF Bay Area who have a place in Tahoe get the luxury of going skiing at a moment's notice, and they can keep all of their ski equipment at their cabin, AND they can bring their dog with them on their weekend trips. All the things I wish I could do!

What I really don't understand is the "need to work" thing that Ann explains. I too know people like that, and I really fail to see what's so important at the office that it causes a person to cancel on family trips. I have a "high-powered" job at a high tech firm, and my husband is a lead software developer at a startup, and we still make time to go on vacations together. If you can't enjoy the fruits of your labor, why bother? Sure, his company whines (mine is more family-friendly) but he's too valuable to lose so they put up with it.