On long flights do you talk to your seat mate?
Nov 3rd, 2001, 02:54 AM
#1
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On long flights do you talk to your seat mate?
American society has really changed. People are becoming less and less likely to talk to strangers, even if they are sitting a few inches from each other for 6 hours.
On a recent solo trip to San Francisco from Washington Dulles I took the non stop flight on United. The plane was a 777 with a 2, 4, 2 configuration. I had a window seat and on both flights someone who appeared about my age and background sat next to me, and we did not say a word the entire flight!
Now that I think of it maybe it was my fault for not making an effort, or maybe socirty has changed and people are just not expected to talk to stangers even though they are sitting next to each other for 6 hours at a time.
What do you think? If you travel solo, do you visit with your seat mates?
On a recent solo trip to San Francisco from Washington Dulles I took the non stop flight on United. The plane was a 777 with a 2, 4, 2 configuration. I had a window seat and on both flights someone who appeared about my age and background sat next to me, and we did not say a word the entire flight!
Now that I think of it maybe it was my fault for not making an effort, or maybe socirty has changed and people are just not expected to talk to stangers even though they are sitting next to each other for 6 hours at a time.
What do you think? If you travel solo, do you visit with your seat mates?
Nov 3rd, 2001, 03:47 AM
#2
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I usually travel with my husband, but a few years ago I had the occasion to fly travel to Germany on my own. I had brought a good book to read and looked forward to keeping to myself for the eight hour flight from Detroit. When I sat down I greeted a young man already sitting in his seat. He was at least twenty years my junior, a gen-X type student and sculptor from Amsterdam who had been working in New England. To our shock and surprise the eight hours flew by and we had talked voraciously the whole time, hardly taking time to pick at our meals, and my book remain unopened. When we landed in Amsterdam he helped get my baggage and stayed with me until I hooked up with my friends. We even corresponded by mail for a year afterwards. This remains one of my most memorable and enjoyable flight experiences. It just goes to show you everyone has an interesting story, if we just open up our minds and hearts.
Nov 3rd, 2001, 05:17 AM
#4
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I usually will smile at my seatmate when first taking my seat. Some people will then talk through the flight, and others do not because they want to sleep, work or read. I usually read or sleep.
I just have to tell this story. I still feel bad about the situation.
Last month, my husband and I were flying to San Francisco. We were seated in "window" seats. My seat mate stood up to let me into my seat. I smiled and said Thank You. No response.
Before taking off, the flight attendant was looking in the overhead bin for a pillow. She took the pillow from the overhead and my seatmate said, "I believe that is mine. I just left it up there". The flight attendant looked at him and firmly shut the overhead bin door.
My seatmate was using his laptop, and didn't seem to be ready for napping.
I must say he had an Attitude. It was just a feeling I had.
We were offered a beverage and I chose a glass of water. My seatmate had his juice on the small armrest between us. I needed to get into my purse for my book and glasses, so when I moved his juice glass to the side to set my glass down, I got a stare from him. I didn't touch the rim of his glass, just the base. Oh Oh. Bad feeling.
I didn't engage him in conversation because he was working on his laptop and I was reading. Well, time for lunch.
He was drinking red wine and I had Ginger Ale. He set his glass on the center armrest. After our food trays were removed, I folded my tray table in half and set my Ginger Ale on it. He had a few refills of his wine. He kept his hand on his glass, on the armrest, when he wasn't typing. I guess he thought I would again move his glass so I could also use the armrest.
I was feeling sort of intimidated. I didn't want to bother anyone. Well, when he went to the lavatory, I waited until I saw him coming back. I decided to get up so I wouldn't have to disturb him. Now, the passenger in front of me had his seat reclined. I had my tray table folded and moved to an angle. I got up carefully so I wouldn't disturb the passenger in front of me,and I didn't want to knock off my beverage.
I passed him in the aisle with a simle. I returned from the lavatory, smiled at my husband, remember he was sitting in the opposite window seat. The flight attendant met me at my row. She said, "You knocked his Wine glass over when you got up, but we took care of it. We just changed seats, but it spilled on his laptop" Well I looked at the seat she showed me, and I saw I dark spot on the seat. I looked at my seat and back again at the other seat. I thought, what is she talking about. I'm sitting over here not in this seat.
As I got into my seat, I asked my seatmate where did the wine go? He replied "All over my laptop".
Well, I was so embarressed. I apologized, saying I hoped it still worked.
I asked my husband about the incident when we got off the plane. He said he saw it happen. The seat in front of me was reclined, my tray table was at an angle, and the wine glass was sitting on the armrest. I caught it with my backside. I asked my husband "What did you do?" He said he just turned his head and looked out the window.
Anyway, I am still embarressed about this.
So to answer your question, sometimes I talk and sometimes I don't. It all depends on the attitudes of my seatmates.
Sheila
I just have to tell this story. I still feel bad about the situation.
Last month, my husband and I were flying to San Francisco. We were seated in "window" seats. My seat mate stood up to let me into my seat. I smiled and said Thank You. No response.
Before taking off, the flight attendant was looking in the overhead bin for a pillow. She took the pillow from the overhead and my seatmate said, "I believe that is mine. I just left it up there". The flight attendant looked at him and firmly shut the overhead bin door.
My seatmate was using his laptop, and didn't seem to be ready for napping.
I must say he had an Attitude. It was just a feeling I had.
We were offered a beverage and I chose a glass of water. My seatmate had his juice on the small armrest between us. I needed to get into my purse for my book and glasses, so when I moved his juice glass to the side to set my glass down, I got a stare from him. I didn't touch the rim of his glass, just the base. Oh Oh. Bad feeling.
I didn't engage him in conversation because he was working on his laptop and I was reading. Well, time for lunch.
He was drinking red wine and I had Ginger Ale. He set his glass on the center armrest. After our food trays were removed, I folded my tray table in half and set my Ginger Ale on it. He had a few refills of his wine. He kept his hand on his glass, on the armrest, when he wasn't typing. I guess he thought I would again move his glass so I could also use the armrest.
I was feeling sort of intimidated. I didn't want to bother anyone. Well, when he went to the lavatory, I waited until I saw him coming back. I decided to get up so I wouldn't have to disturb him. Now, the passenger in front of me had his seat reclined. I had my tray table folded and moved to an angle. I got up carefully so I wouldn't disturb the passenger in front of me,and I didn't want to knock off my beverage.
I passed him in the aisle with a simle. I returned from the lavatory, smiled at my husband, remember he was sitting in the opposite window seat. The flight attendant met me at my row. She said, "You knocked his Wine glass over when you got up, but we took care of it. We just changed seats, but it spilled on his laptop" Well I looked at the seat she showed me, and I saw I dark spot on the seat. I looked at my seat and back again at the other seat. I thought, what is she talking about. I'm sitting over here not in this seat.
As I got into my seat, I asked my seatmate where did the wine go? He replied "All over my laptop".
Well, I was so embarressed. I apologized, saying I hoped it still worked.
I asked my husband about the incident when we got off the plane. He said he saw it happen. The seat in front of me was reclined, my tray table was at an angle, and the wine glass was sitting on the armrest. I caught it with my backside. I asked my husband "What did you do?" He said he just turned his head and looked out the window.
Anyway, I am still embarressed about this.
So to answer your question, sometimes I talk and sometimes I don't. It all depends on the attitudes of my seatmates.
Sheila
Nov 3rd, 2001, 06:35 AM
#5
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I guess I don't understand the "point" of your story, Sheila.
If you were bothered by the chilly attitude of your seatmate, do keep in mind that many factors can play into people's attitudes on the plane.
"Road warriors" (unfortunate souls who spend a great deal of time travelling for business) usually view flying as a huge nuisance, like a bad commute drive to work but intensified.
Heck, the guy have been in the middle of a divorce, just lost a loved one.
Or...he might just be a jerk.
I often think back on a really bad day I had once, and my behavior, which was very much out of character for me. I was in my late twenties, newly married, my wife had been diagnosed with an advanced breast cancer just the day before, and I was driving a nearly new car down Scottsdale Road when an old guy visiting town decided to do a U-turn from the curbside lane across 3 lanes of traffic going the same direction. We collided at a 90 degree angle going 50 miles per hour and it wiped out both cars. One of the most dunderheaded driving moves I've ever seen anyone make, in fast congested traffic no less.
Boy did I let this guy have it while we waited for the police to show up. He was very contrite actually (maybe fearing I'd actually attack him I suppose). But his timing couldn't have been worse.
The moral of the story? Sometimes people have bad days. Assumptions shouldn't be too broad when judging strangers and their attitudes and behaviors.
And BTW, I am happy to converse with people on the plane but only when signs are clear that conversation is welcome. people enjoy the solitude, many fear getting locked into a short relationship with someone they really don't want to talk to after all.
If you were bothered by the chilly attitude of your seatmate, do keep in mind that many factors can play into people's attitudes on the plane.
"Road warriors" (unfortunate souls who spend a great deal of time travelling for business) usually view flying as a huge nuisance, like a bad commute drive to work but intensified.
Heck, the guy have been in the middle of a divorce, just lost a loved one.
Or...he might just be a jerk.
I often think back on a really bad day I had once, and my behavior, which was very much out of character for me. I was in my late twenties, newly married, my wife had been diagnosed with an advanced breast cancer just the day before, and I was driving a nearly new car down Scottsdale Road when an old guy visiting town decided to do a U-turn from the curbside lane across 3 lanes of traffic going the same direction. We collided at a 90 degree angle going 50 miles per hour and it wiped out both cars. One of the most dunderheaded driving moves I've ever seen anyone make, in fast congested traffic no less.
Boy did I let this guy have it while we waited for the police to show up. He was very contrite actually (maybe fearing I'd actually attack him I suppose). But his timing couldn't have been worse.
The moral of the story? Sometimes people have bad days. Assumptions shouldn't be too broad when judging strangers and their attitudes and behaviors.
And BTW, I am happy to converse with people on the plane but only when signs are clear that conversation is welcome. people enjoy the solitude, many fear getting locked into a short relationship with someone they really don't want to talk to after all.
Nov 3rd, 2001, 08:23 AM
#6
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Ben, I don't know if my story had a "point". I had been feeling sorry that it happened.
I understand about the people that must travel frequently for business. It can be a hassle for us. Pleasure travelers may think we love it.
I agree with you that I will converse with a seatmate if it is welcomed.
I could relate many conversations that I have had on plane trips. I have enjoyed, comforted, counseled(after being asked for advice),regretted,and rejoiced with my seatmates. So,I do understand when someone is having a bad day or just being a jerk.
I guess I got carried away on my previous post. Sorry.
Sheila
I understand about the people that must travel frequently for business. It can be a hassle for us. Pleasure travelers may think we love it.
I agree with you that I will converse with a seatmate if it is welcomed.
I could relate many conversations that I have had on plane trips. I have enjoyed, comforted, counseled(after being asked for advice),regretted,and rejoiced with my seatmates. So,I do understand when someone is having a bad day or just being a jerk.
I guess I got carried away on my previous post. Sorry.
Sheila
Nov 3rd, 2001, 09:13 AM
#9
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Sheila: interesting story...but I just cannot imagine even attempting to balance a drink on an airplane armrest! I've noticed the armrest thing can become a sort of turf war anyway, especially with BIG passengers. The guy was a jerk - don't lose sleep over that one.
Nov 3rd, 2001, 11:23 AM
#10
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I usually smile and say "hi" when sitting down but don't normally get into conversations with seat mates as I've had the unfortunate experience of having to listen to non-stop talkers. I treat my seat mates with respect, but keep conversation to a minimum.
Nov 3rd, 2001, 11:28 AM
#11
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I try to be cordial to my seat mates, unless one or both of us has passed out! ha ha And I do enjoy chit chat if my seat mate initiates it (I don't try to initiate any large conversation at first, as I feel it's their choice.) But there are those who overstep their boundaries. I once sat next to a man who wanted to talk about WW II the whole time--even DURING the movie!! I tried tapping him and politely direct his attention to the screen, but he went on and on. I'm sure nearby passengers trying to listen to the movie were almost as annoyed.
Sheila, the guy was a jerk, even if he was having a bad day. He could have at least acknowledged your presence as a human being! Who in their right mind tries to balance their drink on an armrest, and expect it to stay there the whole time? What if there were severe turbulence? The same thing would have happened. Don't feel bad.
Sheila, the guy was a jerk, even if he was having a bad day. He could have at least acknowledged your presence as a human being! Who in their right mind tries to balance their drink on an armrest, and expect it to stay there the whole time? What if there were severe turbulence? The same thing would have happened. Don't feel bad.
Nov 3rd, 2001, 02:18 PM
#12
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I think as our global population continues to explode and we cram more people into more space than ever before, the natural reaction is to try and retain some modicum of privacy and our own "space" in the world. I've noticed the type of behavior you describe in the increasingly crowded suburban neighborhoods and stores as well. Gridlocked traffic, long lines at the grocery store, high density housing, etc.... all seem to contribute to this problem, IMO. The more people there are, the lonelier we feel, because there is just no way to acknowledge so many individuals during the course of your day.
I enjoy meeting new people and chatting with my seat mate, but I always bring along some sort of work that I can use to extricate myself if the person turns out to be a talkaholic.
I enjoy meeting new people and chatting with my seat mate, but I always bring along some sort of work that I can use to extricate myself if the person turns out to be a talkaholic.
