Oh great. Boyfriend ruined my travel plans !
May 9th, 2004, 09:15 PM
#21
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Thank you so much for your replies. They were pretty much what I expected, positive and helpful. I am definitely going, and BF is starting to be a bit more supportive about that. To clarify a things a bit, I'm 31 years old, and have been in a relationship with him for 9 years. So I'm not planning to chuck him over this, but did have a talk with him about his concerns. Turns out, the main reason for his doubts is that since we live in Europe, he thinks London is somehow safer. Go figure. Anyway, thanks a lot to you guys. You always give very good advice !!
May 10th, 2004, 03:31 AM
#23
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Here are some simple facts: NY is about 15th in terms of crime in this country. Statistically, you stand a greater chance of being robbed, etc. in cities like LA and Houston than in NY.
Second, the crime levels vary dramatically depending on neighborhood and you excluded several of the worst neighborhoods in the City, none of which are on the usual tourist map, then the levels for NY drop substantially.
As a woman and as a tourist, the biggest fear you should have is having your purse taken. However, if you take a few simple precautions, like keeping your bag in front of you when walking and making sure it is closed on the subway, you should be fine.
If he's worried about your safety in areas like Times Square, he should know that it is now one of the safest areas of the city. Here's a link to the crime statistic at the MidTown North precinct, the one that covers The West Side from about 34th to a bit North of Times Square - last year 4 murders in an area that sees severall hundred thousand people move in and out everyday:
http://www.ci.nyc.ny.us/html/nypd/pd...t/cs018pct.pdf.
That precinct, like most in the city, have seen crime drop by 66% over 10 years ago.
Second, the crime levels vary dramatically depending on neighborhood and you excluded several of the worst neighborhoods in the City, none of which are on the usual tourist map, then the levels for NY drop substantially.
As a woman and as a tourist, the biggest fear you should have is having your purse taken. However, if you take a few simple precautions, like keeping your bag in front of you when walking and making sure it is closed on the subway, you should be fine.
If he's worried about your safety in areas like Times Square, he should know that it is now one of the safest areas of the city. Here's a link to the crime statistic at the MidTown North precinct, the one that covers The West Side from about 34th to a bit North of Times Square - last year 4 murders in an area that sees severall hundred thousand people move in and out everyday:
http://www.ci.nyc.ny.us/html/nypd/pd...t/cs018pct.pdf.
That precinct, like most in the city, have seen crime drop by 66% over 10 years ago.
May 10th, 2004, 03:57 AM
#24
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There are so many different ways of ranking cities according to crime rate, depending on what you count and how you weight the numbers.
At the following site, you'll find NYC to be the 15th LOWEST crime rate among the US's largest 100 metropolitan areas. It's safer than not only Houston and LA, but also such popular tourist destinations as Honolulu, Tampa, and Orlando.
http://www.bestplaces.net/crime02/crime_study3.asp
At the following site, you'll find NYC to be the 15th LOWEST crime rate among the US's largest 100 metropolitan areas. It's safer than not only Houston and LA, but also such popular tourist destinations as Honolulu, Tampa, and Orlando.
http://www.bestplaces.net/crime02/crime_study3.asp
May 10th, 2004, 05:32 AM
#25
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Interesting issue, another plan for a woman upset by a guy. All too common on this website, although it's disguised when it occurs. At least this time the woman works and isn't financially dependent and thus is able to decide something. So, he thinks London is okay. So, if the guys is important to you, and this is a problem, go to London, and skip nyc. Hard to see that it will completely ruin your summer. How much worse if you were in a situation where you would have to say home if he said no. Good luck to you, but think for yourself, Sepe ... at least you're not married to him.
May 10th, 2004, 05:58 AM
#26
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Good luck, Sepe, whatever you choose to do. You will always remember your trip to NYC but maybe someday, if he is of like mind, he can go with you and see for himself. YOU can open HIS eyes !
After 9 years, marry him or adopt him
After 9 years, marry him or adopt him
May 10th, 2004, 06:14 AM
#27
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Poor BF -- he took a beating here but people do have a point.
On the one hand, does he think all women in NYC are married or only go out with a male on their arm?
But on the other, he may be panicking a bit, either because he'd hate to lose you and will be angsting about your safety the whole time you're gone, or because he thinks you might be getting the wanderlust after 9 years of the two of you taking each other for granted.
So I come out where others have: go on the trip and assure him you'll be prudent and alert. But also consider dealing with the couple's issues you two seem to have, whatever they turn out to be. That'll be 2 cents, please.
On the one hand, does he think all women in NYC are married or only go out with a male on their arm?
But on the other, he may be panicking a bit, either because he'd hate to lose you and will be angsting about your safety the whole time you're gone, or because he thinks you might be getting the wanderlust after 9 years of the two of you taking each other for granted.
So I come out where others have: go on the trip and assure him you'll be prudent and alert. But also consider dealing with the couple's issues you two seem to have, whatever they turn out to be. That'll be 2 cents, please.
May 10th, 2004, 06:53 AM
#28
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... oh jeez, you left out a key fact ... you live in Europe. Why did you leave that out, Sepe? The US is a rather violent place these days. Ok, bash me for saying that, but we tend to gloss over how we are perceived abroad. The BF may have a point. Sepe, you sort of slanted things.
May 10th, 2004, 07:04 AM
#30
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In his defense, he may just not know that NY isn't safe. If my wife said she was going alone to say, Moscow, (just picking a random city, don't mean to start anything with that) I might be like you can't do that, but then revisit that opinion if I found out it was actually ok.
The fact is NY is very safe. As others have noted, it is the safest big city in the US and accordingly to the FBI had the 194th lowest crime rate of the 210 cities in the US with over 100,000 people.
http://www.nycvisit.com/content/index.cfm?pagePkey=1091
By the way, other than the murder rate, I have heard that London's crime rate per person is actually higher than in NYC.
http://www.techcentralstation.com/012003M.html
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main...1/ncrime01.xml
The fact is NY is very safe. As others have noted, it is the safest big city in the US and accordingly to the FBI had the 194th lowest crime rate of the 210 cities in the US with over 100,000 people.
http://www.nycvisit.com/content/index.cfm?pagePkey=1091
By the way, other than the murder rate, I have heard that London's crime rate per person is actually higher than in NYC.
http://www.techcentralstation.com/012003M.html
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main...1/ncrime01.xml
May 10th, 2004, 08:52 AM
#32
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My family of 4 visited NYC. My kids were 17 and 15 and i let them hang out at MTV on Times Square by themselves (themselves-1 million other kids) for 2 days. I am not overprotected or naive. I trusted my kids and knew they would be alright. I worried but i stilll let them go. My point is you can worry to much. I beleive in my children and your bf should believe in you. Yes bad things happen to good people, but you have to live your life. Go on your trip-have fun.
May 10th, 2004, 09:10 AM
#33
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Hi Sepe,
I do hope that you decide to go to NYC but reassure your BF at the same time. I cannot help but worry when loved ones travel, no matter what the destination may be. Although I would not try to prevent anyone from going where they desire to go.
ALSO, it is your business and your business only that you are not married, don't buy into that. My partner and I have been happily not married for 10 years and it has no bearing whatsoever on the loving relationship that we share.
Have a great trip no matter what you decide.
I do hope that you decide to go to NYC but reassure your BF at the same time. I cannot help but worry when loved ones travel, no matter what the destination may be. Although I would not try to prevent anyone from going where they desire to go.
ALSO, it is your business and your business only that you are not married, don't buy into that. My partner and I have been happily not married for 10 years and it has no bearing whatsoever on the loving relationship that we share.
Have a great trip no matter what you decide.
May 10th, 2004, 11:25 AM
#34
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I'm loving how she asked about safety in New York and them got a raft of amateur psychology regarding relationships.
Sure, if I'm having relationship issues, I'll go right to the Fodor's travel board for advice. Yeah, right.
Sure, if I'm having relationship issues, I'll go right to the Fodor's travel board for advice. Yeah, right.
May 10th, 2004, 11:32 AM
#35
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Lets see, nine years together, still unmarried (read:he's uncommitted), and she seeks his permission to travel, and if he says no, her summer is in jeopardy.
Oh, yes, no relational issues in that scenario, just garden variety travel issues, on par with WDW discounts.
Yep, we read too much into it!
Oh, yes, no relational issues in that scenario, just garden variety travel issues, on par with WDW discounts.
Yep, we read too much into it!
May 10th, 2004, 11:41 AM
#36
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I think everyone did read too much into it - I think it was just a long prelude to the question is NY too dangerous for a girl traveling alone. The uniform answer was it is fine for her to take the trip. The rest of the comments are really none of our business.
