My husband can’t understand and doesn’t agree with me traveling Along.
Dec 26th, 2017, 08:11 PM
#22
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It’s a 7 day trip, suze. I don’t think that it comes down to the marriage or the trip, or at least I hope not.
If the OP comes back, I hope she shares with us why she wants to travel solo. I’d love to travel with kids. A good excuse to do dorky kid stuff
not that I need an excuse though...
If the OP comes back, I hope she shares with us why she wants to travel solo. I’d love to travel with kids. A good excuse to do dorky kid stuff
not that I need an excuse though...
Dec 27th, 2017, 07:52 AM
#26
Tell him you are going and that’s that. He will be upset for awhile but eventually will admire your determination. #Footdown
Please note I have given this advice to others and it has not worked out well.
Please note I have given this advice to others and it has not worked out well.
Dec 27th, 2017, 09:06 AM
#27
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xcountry, "Please note I have given this advice to others and it has not worked out well."
Thanks for the laugh.
The OP has not returned to the other post since November 21, a month before this one was posted. With Christmas break and kids, she probably has other things to think about.
Thanks for the laugh.
The OP has not returned to the other post since November 21, a month before this one was posted. With Christmas break and kids, she probably has other things to think about.
Dec 27th, 2017, 09:29 AM
#28
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I don't know what the answer is, but there could be a lot of issues at play. Your husband mentioned priorities, and that your desire to travel alone means your priorities aren't in the right place. This could mean a lot of things, so that's where I'd start. Find out what he thinks your priorities should be and what about traveling alone is inconsistent with that. Then you will have something concrete to work with.
Maybe his concern is money - spending a bunch of money on yourself when it *should* go to the kids, retirement, family activities, etc.
Maybe his concern is time - that by going away, you will be away from your family and that being with your family is where your priorities should be.
Or maybe he is insecure about your desire to go half way around the world without him - and that this is a first step toward leaving him. It could be any number of things, but you won't know until you get him to tell you.
I would start the conversation from a different angle than you probably have been. Instead of a conversation about you wanting to go and him not wanting you to go, start a conversation about your different perspectives about solo travel. Tell him that you want to understand why he doesn't want you to go - that you guys see this from different perspectives and you want to understand his perspective. Then, once you understand his perspective and why he objects, you may be able to work on overcoming his objections - or finding a compromise.
Maybe his concern is money - spending a bunch of money on yourself when it *should* go to the kids, retirement, family activities, etc.
Maybe his concern is time - that by going away, you will be away from your family and that being with your family is where your priorities should be.
Or maybe he is insecure about your desire to go half way around the world without him - and that this is a first step toward leaving him. It could be any number of things, but you won't know until you get him to tell you.
I would start the conversation from a different angle than you probably have been. Instead of a conversation about you wanting to go and him not wanting you to go, start a conversation about your different perspectives about solo travel. Tell him that you want to understand why he doesn't want you to go - that you guys see this from different perspectives and you want to understand his perspective. Then, once you understand his perspective and why he objects, you may be able to work on overcoming his objections - or finding a compromise.
Dec 27th, 2017, 05:48 PM
#30
We had a taxi/tour driver last trip to Ireland and he made the comment that his wife doesn't live out of his pocket. It stuck with me. They do their own thing and are very content. My husband and I take separate trips often. I love my gf trips and he loves his motorcycle trips with his friends. I don't think everyone understands this. I am a military wife so am use to him going off. I love the break. But the op's husband might not feel the same.
Dec 28th, 2017, 04:31 AM
#31
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People, what you are missing is that this person has young children (unless it is a second marriage and the kids are grown).
Husband has a lot to do for those 10 days not even talking about expense.
What Miss OP DOESN'T say is WHY he is against it--it's only about HER desires.
I think the line saying she has her priorities in the wrong place is telling. Could be the truth she is unwilling to see.
Husband has a lot to do for those 10 days not even talking about expense.
What Miss OP DOESN'T say is WHY he is against it--it's only about HER desires.
I think the line saying she has her priorities in the wrong place is telling. Could be the truth she is unwilling to see.
Dec 28th, 2017, 01:10 PM
#38
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Lol. Second vote for pool boy!
Re: young kids- are you suggesting the guy can’t take care of his own kids for 10 days? I mean, you’re assuming a lot- like the OP doesn’t work out of the home and the husband is incapable of operating high tech technology such as the minivan, microwave, and washing machine. A lot of people do travel for work and that’s not even taking into account military families.
If I had to guess- because at this point the OP is not coming back to say- it’s either emotional or it’s limited time off. Someone said above they’d be ticked if their spouse used their limited time off for a solo trip, and I’d agree with that. It becomes such an issue down the line, especially with young kids involved. holidays, family reunions, summer trips.
Re: young kids- are you suggesting the guy can’t take care of his own kids for 10 days? I mean, you’re assuming a lot- like the OP doesn’t work out of the home and the husband is incapable of operating high tech technology such as the minivan, microwave, and washing machine. A lot of people do travel for work and that’s not even taking into account military families.
If I had to guess- because at this point the OP is not coming back to say- it’s either emotional or it’s limited time off. Someone said above they’d be ticked if their spouse used their limited time off for a solo trip, and I’d agree with that. It becomes such an issue down the line, especially with young kids involved. holidays, family reunions, summer trips.
