Marital Discord: Can We Find A Mutually Agreeable Vacation Location??
 

My husband and I have a great time together when we vacation, and depending on where we are usually enjoy doing the same things on the same time schedule. BUT ... we're 50 and have hit an impasse. I am longing to visit the Caribbean (for the first time), stay at a resort, or especially take a cruise ... or go (back) to New York City and continue to enjoy what the city has to offer (he loved New York, but he's "done" with it). Husband wants to go West, see the mountains, fish, nature. I can't bear the thought of camping, bugs, and what to do all day while he fishes. I want lots of things to see and do. He's bored by laying on the beach, not excited about gourmet food and ports of call. This is hopeless! We don't want separate vacations. Is there a place where both our needs can be met??

Terri, the last time I checked the Caribbean had fish in it, so I think that hubby can amuse himself in that fashion. <BR><BR>Likewise, the West was tamed some time ago and I believe that they've even built a few resorts out past the Mississippi.<BR><BR>So there is hope.

What about a cruise to Alaska? You can be pampered on board, he'll get to see the natural beauty and maybe work in a day or two of fishing.

How about one of the luxury guest ranches? Some of them have spas, swimming pools, shopping expeditions, golf, and truly gourmet food, while still offering horseback riding, fly fishing, overnight camping trips and white water rafting. There are lots of them in Colorado, Arizona, Wyoming, etc. I would call them cruises without the boat!

The Alaskan cruise is a great idea. Or, why not consider staying at some of those wonderful B&B's in Montana where you can be pampered and he can experience nature? <BR><BR>I am 50 and my hubby is 53. We also have travelled a great deal, doing both the pampered and the camping things. Sounds like you are like us, I like some comfort, he likes the "manly" thing. Fortunately, we live close to the Rockies so he can go out and camp and fish with his buddies on a regular basis without me and get it out of his system!<BR><BR>I really recommend that you look into Montana as I suggested, for the out of the way but luxurious b&b's or Alberta or BC. Maybe check out Banff, Jasper, Waterton Lakes, Glacier, Whitefish, Montana, Bigfork, Montana, Victoria, BC and surrounding area. All are pretty neat and you could both have some of what you want.<BR><BR>Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Now there's an idea! The cruise without the boat. That would be outstanding! You wouldn't be water locked yet would have all the amenities. Thanks lcuy!

Go to Hawaii!! It has everything you both want ie: beaches, mountains, luxury resorts with spas, fishing, hiking, snorkeling etc. plus plenty of ways to just relax. We went there for the first time in April and can't wait to go back. Have fun!

Terri, two words.<BR>Seattle.<BR>Vancouver.<BR><BR>Okay, more words: fishing, music, waterfalls, galleries, canoes, fresh salmon, glaciers, museums, ferries, Chinatown, oysters, orchards, bayside concerts, winery tours, suspension bridges, islands, cricket on the green, totem poles, afternoon tea, orcas, beachcombing, shopping, underground tours, mountain silhouettes, arts festivals, brewpubs...

I'd have to agree that Vancouver would suit your needs. And a sidetrip to Vancouver Island would be a good choice. Tofino has a very nice pampering hotel, but is located in a very natural setting.

Skip the cruise Terri - they are just not worth the hype they get. Cruises market to the masses now, lots of families with kids, lots of shall we say "less seasoned travelers", etc. Cruises are a big ripoff, I took one - never again, worse vacation we ever had--way too much regimentation and the food was not even that good. That said, look at some of the lovely resorts in the Caribbean - he can fish there too. Better yet, Hawaii. No place can beat it (well, hardly anyway). Maui is the best .. he can have mountains (Mt. Halealaka is 10,000 ft high, you can go to the top), he can fish, and you can have a wonderful resort to stay in too. <BR><BR>As for "the west" - well there are lots of places you can go without camping out. Colorado, Wyoming, AZ, Idaho, etc. are all full of resorts - let him go fishing and connect with nature, you stay at the resort and indulge yourself. I'd still go for Hawaii myself tho. Plenty of places to fish, hike, etc. and lots of nice resorts - you can't beat it.

Stay at the nice resort hotel at Yosemite park for a few days. Your husband will get all of the nature he wants and you still get a nice place to rest your head.

I feel for you Terri. I have a friend with the exact same problem. How about Costa Rica? GREAT fishing, eco adventures, wildlife, volcanoes AND luxury beachside resorts, like Villa Caleta's, Villas Tamarindo and Hotel Punta Islita. Go to a great lodge inland then head for the coast for the rest of the vacation. You can both be happy on vacation!

Thumbs up on a Carib or Costa Rica vacation that offers fishing, snorkeling, etc. Thumbs down on the cruise; my guess is your husband will be super-bored by it (I was).<BR><BR>"Marital discord"? Isn't that redundant?

Hey - who wears the pants in your family, anyway?<BR><BR>Put your foot down and say you are going to the Caribbean with or without him. <BR><BR>Life is way too short.<BR>

Yeah, that's always a good idea for a happy marriage. What's next? Bang your spoon on your highchair till you get your way?

Linda it's very shortsighted to say that all cruises are regimented ripoffs for unseasoned travellers.<BR><BR>You should qualify and state that the cruise YOU CHOSE was a regimented ripoff for unseasoned travellers.<BR><BR>If you ever had the chance to take a luxury cruise, such as a Silversea cruise, you'd feel differently. These are very well off, very diverse, experienced, interesting people who demand the best. All meals are open seating. Eat where you want, when you want. Everything's included. Drink what you want, when you want it without charge. The ships are small, only 150+ people. The cabins luxurious, the ports interesting and not reminiscent of the trinket ports the cheapie cruises go to.<BR>These are not cheap cruises, often running more than $10,000 per cabin per week, but the experience is far above and beyond what you'll find at Carnival and its ilk.<BR><BR>Cruising is not for everyone.<BR>But remember that if you have the money, you can find most anything you want in the world of travel.

Kauai is a wonderful, very green and gorgeous island. It is my favorite of all the Hawaiian islands and has what you both should enjoy. It is not nearly as commercialized as Maui so this should appeal to your husband. Toni

You have all opened up some possibilities for us. I'm optimistic. We'll skip the cruise and try two ideas: a Caribbean resort with fishing etc. and a Western resort.<BR><BR>Lots of resources about Caribbean out there -- but are there good Internet resources for info on Western resorts (Wyoming, Montana, etc.)?

Terri, we're not you're internet mommy. You're going to have to do some thinking of your own, like most big girls.

Terri,<BR> Ignore Ivanna, what a troublemaker. You came to the right place for TRAVEL advice on a destination that would please both you and your husband. You did not ask anyone for marital advice.<BR><BR>Ivanna is sad and lonely and only wishes she had someone to consider in her vacation plans.