Ladies: Would you mind a masseur?
 

Just curious to see what other women thinks.
Last year, we stayed at a hotel in Florida. My husband treated me to the hotel's spa. When my appointment time came, a guy showed up. I admit that I was taken aback. He did a good job but I'll be honest. I was never 100% relaxed. It felt so weird to me. When I told my husband afterward, he said 'you mean I paid for some guy to put his hands all over you?!'. He was joking of course. But I admit it bugged me. I think the front desk should have asked me if that was okay before taking my appointment.
I'm not asking anyone to comment on my reaction. That's how I feel, period. I'm just curious to know if you as a woman care about the sex of the person giving you a spa massage. If you do, do you ask when making an appointment? Have you ever thought about asking? Would you say no to a masseur and request a masseuse instead?
Thanks.

It's never bothered me, but if it were an issue with me or if I thought I would be uncomfortable, I would ask for a female.

No. As a female to me it would be like having a male nurse.

However, I can see where it would be weird for some people.

However, my back is so ticklish, I rarely get massages.

I agree that it wouldn't be entirely relaxing to be massaged by a strange man!
I've always been either introduced or at least given the name of my masseuse on booking an appointment (I hope I never get 'caught out' by a unisex name!)
Yes, it's always been a masseuse and I prefer it that way! (I'm female).

Every time I have booked a massage for either myself or my husband, the reservationist has asked if there is any gender preference.

My answer is always the same: my husband prefers a female, and I have no preference. I just want a good massage.

My wife likes massages, so I asked her your question. She said she has had both males and females, and it has never been a concern to her but she added their her first massage was from a male physical therapist in the hospital so maybe that's why it's never been an issue. She said that if it were an issue, then she'd definitely always ask prior to the massage for a female. I relayed how the hotel sent up a male, and she said that's probably because most women who get massages often probably don't think twice about it. She seemed to think it was your or your husband's responsiblity to request a female masseuse.

Sorry such a wonferful experience became uncomfortable for you!

Hi caribtraveler!

Its ok, I think its just a personal preference. But I, too, prefer a female! I request a lady masseur when I make the appointment and they are very accommodating. In fact, the days leading up to my first massage (not like Ive had hundreds) I was sooo stressed about the possibility of having a guy masseur that I was losing sleep! I mean, how dumb is that!? Anyway, thats what prompted my call and from then on, like I said, I just make the request right off the bat. Its no fun to stress about something thats supposed to be so pampering!!

Have a great day!

Whoops! Masseur/masseuse, you know what I mean!

:)

I have absolutely no preference. I'm usually asked when making the appointment.

I am a male, my regular masseuse (as well as my wifes') is female. This is totally a non-issue too me.

Hmmm...maybe at first. I'm not a very touchy-feely person- and I imagine an unpleasant massage would be a bit like dental work (of which I've had too much already). If my first experience was positive, then I probably would eventually relax:)

Side note- it's got more to do with the personality/actions of the masseuse- too familiar or touchy-feely would make me uncomfortable with either sex.


If I felt uncomfortable, I'd definitely ask for a woman at the time of the appointment! Or ask for a woman when I arrive (if I have a valid reason, and could do it politely)- since it is my money....

Doing it "politely" would be part of just everyday good manners.

Stating a preference is nothing to apologize for. You are right - it is your money and you have every right to have your preference acknowledged.

I would specify preference at time of booking. It may be too late when you arrive at the desk to check in. Busy spas have certain staff members qualified/certified to do certain treatments and a female may not be available due to scheduled facials, etc.

I'm a woman who has been massaged by both males and females and I prefer a male because they seem to be able to relax my muscles more - maybe because most are stronger than women and women's fingers tend to be smaller.

Caribtraveler - If it makes you feel any better, my ex-boyfriend was a massage therapist and he said most professionals are not thinking about anything other than your muscles while giving you a massage. It's nothing sexual at all for them. But if you feel more relaxed with a woman, then by all means, go for it. Relaxation is the whole point, right?

Male or female --doesn't matter to me. I wonder if many men would have an issue with receiving a massage from a member of the opposite sex.

I'm a man who would only have a massage performed by a female. The idea of some guy giving me a massage gives me the willies. I like the soft feel of a woman's touch.

Doesn't make a bit of difference to me (female). Most of the people I know trained in massage are male, so I'd be more surprised if a woman showed up actually.

If people have a gender preference, I assume they'd specify when making an appointment.

Thanks for all the responses. To be honest I don't get massages often, which is a shame. But when I do, I go to a specific woman that I just love. It honestly never crossed my mind that I could get a masseur..silly I know..but I truly didn't think about it. So I was surprised. Anyway, now I know to ask. :-)

Gender wouldn't matter to me. The best shiatsu person I know is a male, and he's totally worth it. As long as they are good at what they do and behave professionally, I don't have a problem with gender.

If gender did matter, I agree with the ladies who suggest specifying when making the appointment. For me, if I had been working at the front desk, it would not have occurred to me to ask the guest's preference.

I have no preference either...Never thought to ask.

oddly ... many years I got a facial, the kind where you get a neck and shoulder rub. It was given by a woman. I found that her hands were getting very close if not touching my chest. I asked her to only massage my shoulders, that's it. She obliged.

It is nice to get massages on vacation isnt it?

Massage from a woman or a man...it's never made a difference to me.

Come to think of it, I've only ever encountered women giving facials and such.

But I did meet up with a sullen Vietnamese male manicurist one time.