|
It's the Alpha Males on This Site! Really!
My hubby and I, both psychologists, have tried to figure out exactly where the fussing & fighting comes from on this site, as compared to other sites I frequent. And the sites where I never see this kind of behavior have one thing in common - they're frequented exclusively by women, and they are so gracious to each other! Although these sites are devoted to health, children, weight loss, etc., the women do discuss a lot of other things, but they bend over backwards to be nice to each other when they discuss them. <BR> <BR>At the risk of getting flamed, I'd like to hear other opinions on my theory! And to all you guys who are not Alpha males, I'm not talking about you! <BR> <BR>And I know this is not about travel - but it is about discussing travel! <BR> <BR>
|
<BR> <BR>Interesting topic, but, as my shrink fired me last week, I feel unqualified to comment. Maybe Cindy has an opinion.
|
Doctor-With all due respect, I have been on sights where the majority of posters were women (and I have also worked with women) and they are just as bad as the "alpha males," with their cattiness, nastiness etc. I think the nastiness here is the work of a few people who get their amusement from flaming/trolling etc. I think trying to analyze the people who post here is a waste of your time. Don't you have patients to see???
|
I participate on another message board which deals with Stay at home moms vs. working moms. You have not experienced vicious and nasty until you have read some of what is on that board. Yes, we can be gracious, but don't piss us off!
|
My knuckleheaded view of people: <BR> <BR>Women are concerned with quality and the experience of the trip. Memory makers. The closeness and bonding that occurs with their fellow travelers and loved ones. They are also caught up with what other travelers are doing how they dress, eat and act. <BR> <BR>Men are consumed with the best way to get there. Concerned with getting the most bang for their buck. Taking lot's of photo's and movies because they forget very easily. They like travel that boost their ego's, you know drop names of places they have visited people they had to set straight and $20.00 dollar bills they found on the ground. <BR> <BR>Just my opinion.
|
Elizabeth, <BR> <BR>Thank you for confirming many of my preconceived impressions of psychologists. In a fairly brief posting you've managed to: <BR> <BR>a) force others to choose a position based on YOUR definitions (e.g. How do you distinguish "fussing & fighting" from legitimate debate?) <BR>b) introduce a thesis based on poorly documented, purely anecdotal evidence (which, by the way, does not agree with my own anectdotal experience) <BR>c) apply a sweeping psychological label (alpha males, even!) to numerous people based on a brief, essentially one-dimensional interaction (how do you even determine whether "[email protected]" is male or female?) <BR>d) you have even managed to give your own position a politically-correct foundation by playing the gender card ("...frequented exclusively by women...) <BR> <BR>Assuming that you don't write off this response as just more "fussing&fighting" from an alpha male, take a moment to consider why you began this thread. I personally consider it to be a good example of the very ungracious, antagonistic behavior you seem to oppose. Having identified yourself as a professional, I would have expected you to hold yourself to a higher standard than that. <BR> <BR>
|
You may have something, Elizabeth. I realized, after starting the thread about people not saying thanks, that I was expecting more than just travel facts from this board. I like to have a certain rapport with people, and was thinking of this board as a conversational site. For the most part, it's not. But I do believe most of the "ungracious" posts come from bored guys, just wanting to start an uproar.
|
It's me again, bored and hoping to start an uproar. <BR> <BR>Of the current top 50 threads on this forum, here are the only ones I could find that seemed to even have the potential to generate any controversy: <BR> <BR>>Badly Behaved Children (and their parents!)--what do you do? - Carolyn <BR>>It's the Alpha Males on This Site! Really! - Elizabeth <BR>>Why do people take trips to shop? - Jackie <BR>>Will soda cans explode in an airplane's cargo hold? - Susan <BR> <BR>I personally don't consider any of these to be outrageous (with the possible exception of our current thread). Still, you'll notice that all of these were initiated by people who at least claim to be female. And while the long-running "Badly Behaved Children" thread has generated some sharp responses, none of the others seems to have stirred much rudeness (although someone did call Susan's sanity into question). <BR> <BR>I can't honestly see where all this rudeness is supposed to be (ok, my own posts excepted). Considering the pitfalls of internet communications I think the posters on this forum are pretty well-mannered, if not exactly gracious. <BR>
|
It's hard to assess a topic's potential to generate controversy. Things got pretty surly on the latest Washington DC and New Orleans threads. <BR>Ilisa's dead-on about the Stay at home vs Back to Work site and other parenting debates. Maybe it's not so much a question of which gender gets more brutal, but what triggers the brutality. Preferences in restaurants are your business; accusations of inferior parenting due to choices in re: vaccinations, diapers, etc. are fighting words.
|
Elizabeth, Can you tell us how you know for sure the posters who are not polite, argumentative, a'holes, etc are male? <BR> <BR>Is a "Bill" a male or could it be a female using the name and taking the opportunity to be like an "alpha male" just to see what it feels like and what type of uproar she can cause? Maybe she likes being a "naughty little girl"? <BR>Kres
|
Huh? What's that, Bert? Oh, you want my opinion. Well, I don't have one. In fact, I haven't a single interesting thought floating about in my whole head. <BR> <BR>Now, let me get back to looking for someone to flame.
|
My observations are: <BR> <BR>1. If Liz and hubby are both psychologists, they sure spend a lot of time "frequenting" this and other sites - how do you find the time with your professional lives? ;-) <BR> <BR>2. The people who most frequent these boards contribute more inane, non-travel related, snippy and snotty comments than actually give sound travel advice (both male and female alike) <BR> <BR>3. People "say" stuff here that they would never have the balls to say to each other in real life, because of the anonymity <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR>
|
I have to agree with Lynn and Dave. IMO, people here flame each other because of the anonymity and because this site in not monitored like other sites. Under the veil of anonymity it could be either a male or female posting who is to know? Funny, I have a close relative who is a psychologist and I have observed 2 things about them, 1.) Their free time is really limited. 2.) Some of their observations about people are sometimes in left field. If you are psychologists as you say, why are you posting this inane stuff on a travel forum. I think you are just another troll looking to start a controversy!!!!
|
Any good dog trainer knows that there are alpha males and alpha females, usually one of each in each "pack". So, that explains everything.
|
As a non-Alpha male who always posts with my real name and email address, perhaps it's unwise to take part in this particular discussion but of those posts where I see snide and or vicious comments/replies, I haven't noticed a preponderance of males although it's certainly not 50/50. Regrettably, it's seemingly innocuous posts such as this that sooner or later generate the c*ap that us civilized folks have come to detest. If we could all just ignore the flames and not respond to the "baiters", things would likely improve in a big hurry. I should note that in the year or two that I've frequented the site I have yet to get flamed. Perhaps it's becaue I stick to travel related topics and as a rule stay out of the other threads? Just a thought...
|
Owen, if you'd like, I'd be happy to flame you now and then. We wouldn't want you to feel left out. :) <BR> <BR>Anyway, I think you are less likely to get flamed if you use a consistent name and address and are consistently polite. People get to know you, and they think twice before letting you have it. <BR> <BR>By the way, someone said the contentious threads are started by women. Even if that is true (remember the take the baby to Hawaii thread started by a man?), that doesn't mean the flaming is being done by women. The flames often occur in the responses, not in the original thread that starts it all.
|
When I have seen inappropriate replies it has sometimes been women and sometimes guys. I haven't noticed a gender difference. I do have to respond to the women who mentioned working vs nonworking moms. I just came from a visit with my sister, who is nonworking mom. I was appalled at the way she feels about nonworking moms. Thats sounds like a very amusing website! Whats the address?
|
Teri, Alpha males and alpha females. Same difference. Owen, we share a surname, perhaps it's because we're nice feisty Irish guys that we don't get flamed?
|
There, feel better now Elizabeth? <BR>Cast aspersions at what you deem a potentially hostile bunch and you get....that's right....hostility. Hmmmm. Somehow that doesn't seem surprising to me. <BR>BTW I'm an alpha-male physician (who often posts as a female so as to minimize bias when I post questions...so how does that affect your assessment of gender typing?) and as I see it the most accurate contextual analysis here is Dave's. Then again, as an alpha-male I'm given to fussing and fighting so I'm probably drawn to his aggressive view.
|
hello, you want to see fussing, go lurk on a wedding planning website! a bunch of stressed out chicks armed with checkbooks, emily post and the accumulated dreams of a lifetime!
|
Dr. Elizabeth-What kind of psychologist are? IMO, you must be some kind of quack! A respected, professional psychologist would not troll a TRAVEL SITE looking to analyze people who post their opinions!!! You wonder why people get hostile here? It's because of stupid posts like this one which have no merit! Get a life doctor!!! Better yet, get some help!!
|
Sounds like penis-envy to me. <BR>Plain and simple. ;)
|
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck chances are its a duck! QUACK!!!!
|
Just couldn't let this one slip into never never land (#51) just love to listen to all the flaming, fighting, arguing, I love it. <BR> <BR>The alpha female
|
Where's elvira? Doesn't she have some wisdom to share, or light to shed on this heavy subject: Where are you now, when we need you, to keep us level headed...all this fuss about males. I know a girl who used to be one, and she has lots of 'truths" to share. maybe we could get a post or two out of her.
|
ROTFL!!!!!!
|
Excuse me, but what's an Alpha male?
|
Settle down, people. Settle down.
|
hehe
|
Pup is the Alpha male in our house ((&))
|
Alpha, beta, gamma, delta...Help me out here. I seem to have forgotten my Greek alphabet.
|
As if we would actually pay attention to anything a psychologist says anyway...pshaw~ |
Scarlett-Too true. My brother is a psychologist and he is one of the most screwed up people I know.
|
Since those folks were having this discussion three years ago, hopefully they got their "feelings" ironed out by now.
:S- |
Scarlett, you wouldn't know an Alpha Male if you fell over one and perhaps that's what is shaping your attitude...
|
LOL, OK, Bootman, obviously you know what you are talking about! |
| All times are GMT -8. The time now is 06:06 AM. |