Intimate Destination Wedding location help
 

Hello.
I am looking for recommendations on a great location (whether that be city/state or specific hotel) for a destination wedding for 40 people at an absolute max.
My future husband and I are planning on opening a larger business and would like to save funds and are opting for a small intimate wedding rather than an elaborate one.
At the same time I don't want it to be lame.

can anyone help me?
Thank you!!

Please consider when planning a destination wedding while trying to save funds, your guests funds.

Telling us where you and at least some of your guests are would help. The ability to drive to the destination, unless that qualifies as "lame", would save everyone money and bother.

I personally think destination weddings are lame. So expensive and time consuming for guests...having to use up precious vacation days on someone else's pick, and inevitably some beloved family member(s) or friend(s)can't attend so. just saying....

Where are you coming FROM?

Oh, come on! There are 10,000's of places in the 50 states that fit your needs.

How much are you willing to spend taking your 40 guests somewhere or do you expect them to pay their own way and give up their valuable vacation time to celebrate YOUR wedding?

What's "lame" mean to you?

How far are you willing to travel?

"Destination Wedding" and " . . .would like to save funds" are almost always mutually exclusive concepts.

People will have to spend money, time, or both. Now, a destination wedding for a small group of 8 or 10 immediate family/life long friends is different and could be really lovely/fun. You could even rent one large house and all stay together. But to expect 40 people to travel to where you want to go is expensive and (could be perceived as) more than a little self indulgent IME/IMO

If most of your guests are from the same general part of the country - I'd pick a place convenient for THEM - not your dream location.

Whatever one's opinion of destination weddings, your question is much too vague.

What time of year? What sort of weather do you envision? Beach--yes or no way? Where are you coming from? Do you want to be able to drive?

Good questions, NewbE.

RoamsAround, guests pay their own travel & lodging to attend destination weddings.

The trick is to host your party at a place your guests would like to visit. And feed them-- on your tab-- for the weekend. So that adds to your cost: arrival dinner, wedding reception/dinner, brunch.

Or, don't choose an 'away' destination. Host your wedding at a local restaurant.

Think it through.

The last 'destination' wedding DW and I went to was in Las Vegas. We got a limo ride from the hotel to and from the chapel. I gave away the bride (3 steps down the aisle).
There is also a place in Vegas where you can get married in your car.

"...get married in your car."

Nothing like it, a drive-by wedding. Which gives me an idea to recycle a drive-in theater. Guests stay in their cars, no need to dress up, even come in their jammies, vows are projected onto the screen with the hang-on-the-window speakers. Reception is popcorn & beer/soft drinks delivered to the cars by the ushers & bridesmaids during the 2nd feature.

Get married at your local courthouse. Have the reception at your home or a nearby city park. Pick up deli trays, drinks, cake, from either Costco or your local grocery store for the food.

The only destination wedding I have attended, the father of the bride paid for food and lodging in the inn for about 40 to attend. It was not too far for most of the folks to get to..

IMO if you're asking for folks to pay to get there, get lodging, most of the food etc. to see you get married, don't expect a huge gift. If you're covering the costs then the gift will be much nicer.

I think the whole destination wedding flim flam is lame, an invention of travel & wedding sellers for whoever will buy it, and apparently some do, those clever people.

It's interesting that, IME at least, the longer a couple has been married, the more likely they are to advice a thrifty, simple wedding. I know I would, and my wedding was very simple to begin with. But if I had it to do again, I'd do even less.

Destination weddings also weren't a thing for my generation. People got married either where they were living, or in his or her parents' town.

All that said, if I were asked for advice--and we really haven't been, lol, poor OP--I'd say, find out how excited your friends and family REALLY are about your idea. Every group has at least one truth-teller--ask that person! And I'd suggest that even your closest loved ones probably don't want to go that far out of their way for your special day.

But maybe the OP's situation is different, in which case I hope she returns to give a few more specifics so we can suggest destinations.

Well...given that you're in Chicago...either a local historic house that rents itself as a venue, a barbecue in a park, or, you know, my pick would probably be the field museum if they allow it. (I know, I'm a dork). You could do a "destination wedding" at a favorite campground on the Great Lakes or maybe pick a small quaint town that has a retreat center or something along those lines that you could rent.

Only if your 40 people live in Chicago, that is. Hopefully they do. I'm with everyone else here- unless you were my kid or my sister or best friend from college, I wouldn't attend or be part of a wedding party if I had to fly at all (or drive more than 4 hours). It's too expensive, and a cap of 40 people tells me that you probably aren't doing plus ones or kids- which will add to hurt feelings, inconvenience, and probably additional expenses for your guests. I have been through this nonsense before. Sure the destination weddings were the prettiest, but they aren't the best memories, because they were expensive pitas from start to finish.

Seriously.if your loved ones are local. Pick a local park, potluck, and let whoever wants to come show up and celebrate with you. It won't be expensive, no feelings will be hurt, and what you (and your guests) will remember is who showed up to celebrate. Not the food or table settings.

I'm not a fan of destination weddings. So what - lots of other people are. The OP didn't ask for advice about WHETHER to have a destination wedding, only WHERE to have one. I've rarely seen so many non-responsive responses.

"I've never seen so many non-responsive responses."

Including that one. And this one. So what's the answer, sf?

I make no apologies to my original response. It was sincere and from the heart and addressed the OP's desire to "save funds" I thought I was clearly responsive sf

(Rarely, not never.)