Insisting on the best vs. happiness
 

This morning I was reading an article about Gretchen Rubin’s “The Happiness Project,” in which she reports surprising facts about what makes us happy.

One point that jumped out at me was “Don’t insist on ‘the best’.” Ms. Rubin claims that those who seek to satisfy certain criteria (e.g., have a really good meal) tend to be happier that those who want to find the best of everything (e.g. dine at the “best” restaurant in town) because those who insist on “the best” often agonize over their choices.

A related problem is that what is best for me may not be best for you, and vise versa.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/gretch..._b_405456.html

The best experiences I have had is when I did not start of looking for "The Best", but found something unexpected and wonderful on my own.

I work with people who demand "The Best". They all end up doing exactly the same thing, going to the same places, eating in the same restaurants.

I have often found that when traveling, looking for something in the middle, not luxury, not budget often puts me in the company of very interesting people who have a great spirit of adventure and are willing to share. Generalizations, of course, but I shy away from luxury travel- as I have found people there are stuffy and boring, and I also shy away from true budget- as they can be too penurious to have fun.

I have often found that what some people consider the best is often overrated. Shinier isn't always better.

But if you go to New York and you don't go to the best pizza place, your life is wasted. I know this from reading many posts, so it must be true.

Lol, EricH, as a New Yorker, I must admit that you are correct about the best pizza thing!

Obviously people with realistic expectations are going to be happier than those with unreachable goals. But - a lot depends on personality.

I'm a true Virgo - want everything to be perfect - and sometimes try too hard to get things that way. (It sometimes amazes me the things that some people just don;t see - that are wrong and really do need to be fixed.) And I do have high standards for everything. but there's a difference between high standards and impossible ones. There are also balances - when something that's an 8 at a great price - or with a lot less work - may make you happier than spending a fortune (or hours and hours more) on a 10.

Fascinating ideas. The link led me to an article about people being either abstainers (all-or-nothing works best for them) or moderators (everything in moderation for them). It suggested that each is a valid way to be. Since I am an abstainer, it seems that most people keep telling me to be more moderate. That just doesn't work for me, I'm either into something or I'm not. Now I have to think about that and how it can relate to some areas of my life...

There has been much written about happiness over the past five years or so. It is just one more elusive quality that is not worth pursing. Once you obtain it how long does it last if you can identify it at all.

Excepr for pizza.

You should post this on Lounge. Then stand back and watch a fight break out about anything incluing the punctuation.

I agree that for me "the best" is almost always the unexpected. I think in many cases it is the surprise element that elevates something into that BEST category - and that always makes me happy. Highly promoted things have to live up to the hype, which too often leads to disappointment - whether it be a destination, restaurant, movie or book. Maybe its just the adventure that makes me happiest -- discovering something for myself.

Very well said, TC!! I think we are on the same page with that! Some of my "bests" have never been planned but accidentally stumbled on during some adventure! Lol, your comment may be the best!!