I have to ask so please don't flame me...
May 27th, 2004, 02:27 PM
#41
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I'm amazed at all the wonderful and supportive comments. Corny as it may sound it does help strengthen my resolve to get on that plane. I know others share my fear but it's nice to hear the rational side that's trying to make its way out of my brain.
I do have a friend who is 100% paralyzed by her fear of flying. Her family (HUGE Florida State fans) had tickets to the Rose Bowl this year and were going with 6 other "Seminole" fans. She got to the shuttle at TIA and could not get in, as in had a full blown panic attack. They did not go and I thought that was sad, but I did understand.
At least I cancel at TWO weeks ahead-lol.
I do have a friend who is 100% paralyzed by her fear of flying. Her family (HUGE Florida State fans) had tickets to the Rose Bowl this year and were going with 6 other "Seminole" fans. She got to the shuttle at TIA and could not get in, as in had a full blown panic attack. They did not go and I thought that was sad, but I did understand.
At least I cancel at TWO weeks ahead-lol.
May 28th, 2004, 02:58 AM
#43
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Jayne: I'm no stranger to fear of flying. My mother has that phobia in a big way, and our family spent 20+ years taking trains cross-country whenever we needed to visit relatives back East.
The issue has always fascinated me and I've done a lot of research into it over the years. What I've come to understand is that very few people who say they're "afraid to fly" actually have that specific phobia. Most are either afraid of dying, and/or they're afraid of putting their survival into the hands of other people, even if it's just for a few hours. In other words, in many cases they're simply control freaks.
Fear of dying is instinctual, and about as far from irrational as one can get, but there's a difference between a healthy, constructive fear and abnormal, destructive anxiety. This is where a psychiatrist or psychologist can help.
The only real cure is to admit to yourself on the deepest level that you *are* mortal and *are* going to die one day, regardless of whether your flight makes it or not. As trite as this sounds it really is the key to getting over yourself.
The control freak component, well, this is the tougher of the two issues. Read the following for a good primer:
http://www.guidetopsychology.com/fearfly.htm
It's a long read but well worth it.
The issue has always fascinated me and I've done a lot of research into it over the years. What I've come to understand is that very few people who say they're "afraid to fly" actually have that specific phobia. Most are either afraid of dying, and/or they're afraid of putting their survival into the hands of other people, even if it's just for a few hours. In other words, in many cases they're simply control freaks.
Fear of dying is instinctual, and about as far from irrational as one can get, but there's a difference between a healthy, constructive fear and abnormal, destructive anxiety. This is where a psychiatrist or psychologist can help.
The only real cure is to admit to yourself on the deepest level that you *are* mortal and *are* going to die one day, regardless of whether your flight makes it or not. As trite as this sounds it really is the key to getting over yourself.
The control freak component, well, this is the tougher of the two issues. Read the following for a good primer:
http://www.guidetopsychology.com/fearfly.htm
It's a long read but well worth it.
May 28th, 2004, 06:58 AM
#44
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Jayne
You now see that there are many of us who have issues with flying. Mine had started much before 9/11 and that has added additional anxiety to my already overloaded psyche.
I will fly out of the country and have done so since 9/11 but I've driven most everywhere with the states just so I don't fly. I know - makes a lot of sense - and especially now I can fly from BWI to Tampa for $49 one way and it will cost $150-200 each way driving.
Hypnosis is something I can heartily recommend, but you need a good one, I searched for a good one when I wanted to kick the smoking habit six years ago and fortunately it worked! I can be around smokers and have no desires whatsoever.
They say that sometimes it does you good to re-read what you've written and I think that I should go back to a hypnotist also - may help me get on that plane too!
Ellen
You now see that there are many of us who have issues with flying. Mine had started much before 9/11 and that has added additional anxiety to my already overloaded psyche.
I will fly out of the country and have done so since 9/11 but I've driven most everywhere with the states just so I don't fly. I know - makes a lot of sense - and especially now I can fly from BWI to Tampa for $49 one way and it will cost $150-200 each way driving.
Hypnosis is something I can heartily recommend, but you need a good one, I searched for a good one when I wanted to kick the smoking habit six years ago and fortunately it worked! I can be around smokers and have no desires whatsoever.
They say that sometimes it does you good to re-read what you've written and I think that I should go back to a hypnotist also - may help me get on that plane too!
Ellen
May 28th, 2004, 03:16 PM
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Faina: The webpage I cited might be of some help. It's the same concepts, e.g. your "fear" might just be related to physical symptoms you get during takeoff, etc.
soccr: No offense meant. The term 'control freak', at least as I've always used it and heard it used by others, is meant in a neutral way.
soccr: No offense meant. The term 'control freak', at least as I've always used it and heard it used by others, is meant in a neutral way.
May 28th, 2004, 03:29 PM
#48
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Rather than "control freak" perhaps we should call it "delegationally challenged"! I think I invented a new word.
Thanks for the reference fdecarlo. I'm going to look into it.
I really appreciate that not one of you has tried to make me feel like I'm nuts.
I don't necessarily view a fear as a more deeply rooted issue. Sometimes you're just scared because you're just scared and I just hate the sensation of flying and as well as riding a ferris wheel--it seems unnatural.
I have a friend who is the most devoted mother I have ever known. She has four children and they are her world. I use her as an rational example to calm my fear--they fly all over the place and she puts her precious children on an airplane so it must be safe! Make any sense?
Thanks for the reference fdecarlo. I'm going to look into it.
I really appreciate that not one of you has tried to make me feel like I'm nuts.
I don't necessarily view a fear as a more deeply rooted issue. Sometimes you're just scared because you're just scared and I just hate the sensation of flying and as well as riding a ferris wheel--it seems unnatural.
I have a friend who is the most devoted mother I have ever known. She has four children and they are her world. I use her as an rational example to calm my fear--they fly all over the place and she puts her precious children on an airplane so it must be safe! Make any sense?
Jun 12th, 2004, 07:10 AM
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Jayne it's only normal for you to feel a little nervous when flying. Remember, it's safer to fly than drive. Your more at risk of having a car accident than plane accident. Don't worry about another terrorist attack. Security is exremely tight now. Don't let your mind/fears ruin a beautiful Hawaiian vacation. It'll be worth the flight.
Hey if you all cancel, you can always sell your Hawaii tickets to me.(HA!! HA!!)
Hey if you all cancel, you can always sell your Hawaii tickets to me.(HA!! HA!!)
Jun 18th, 2004, 07:37 AM
#54
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Hi all,
Happy to report that we're safe, sound and best of all back on the ground in one piece!!! Our flights were completely unremarkable (yes--you told me so!!!!). We did end up getting off the plane on the way home once we'd boarded--they delayed our flight one hour due to bad weather along the route. I will always give Southwest credit for erring on the side of caution. They are a hassle to fly but look at their safety record. I wish ATA had had the sense to delay the flight we took with them in Feb. (in part, the root of my fear for this most recent flight.)It was like a three-hour roller coaster ride--never again--and not just because of that. IMHO it's just a bad airline.
Now I can LOL at the fact that when we arrived at the airport yesterday, if you read a paper you know that ALL the headlines were reporting that 10 planes had been targeted on 9/11. Thank goodness the Zanax had kicked in by then.
This was a good test run for the SEVEN legs we'll be flying for our CA and HI vacation next month.
Thank you again for all of your positive remarks.
Happy to report that we're safe, sound and best of all back on the ground in one piece!!! Our flights were completely unremarkable (yes--you told me so!!!!). We did end up getting off the plane on the way home once we'd boarded--they delayed our flight one hour due to bad weather along the route. I will always give Southwest credit for erring on the side of caution. They are a hassle to fly but look at their safety record. I wish ATA had had the sense to delay the flight we took with them in Feb. (in part, the root of my fear for this most recent flight.)It was like a three-hour roller coaster ride--never again--and not just because of that. IMHO it's just a bad airline.
Now I can LOL at the fact that when we arrived at the airport yesterday, if you read a paper you know that ALL the headlines were reporting that 10 planes had been targeted on 9/11. Thank goodness the Zanax had kicked in by then.
This was a good test run for the SEVEN legs we'll be flying for our CA and HI vacation next month.
Thank you again for all of your positive remarks.
Jun 18th, 2004, 08:00 AM
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Jayne11159: As others have said, rational reasons not to be afraid usually don't help people who are afraid. Sometimes the language we use to think about our fears can help.
A few posts ago you said you loved landings even though they are a high rsik part of the flight. They are not high risk, they are only a slightly higher risk part of the flight regime than cruising at altitude. Landings are very low risk or we would be reading about planes falling out of the sky on a regular basis. Actually, if it happened on a regular basis, we wouldn't read about it. It is only news because it happens so rarely.
Instead of thinking of any part of the flight as "High risk", it may help you to think of the entire flight as "extremely low risk".
I hope so. Some of the most beautiful sights can be seen from the windows of an airplane if you can just relax and open yourself to them. After all, flight has been one of the primary dreams of people throughout history. It is only in the last 100 years anyone has been able to achieve it and the last 50 that it was available to almost anyone in the developed world. You are living the dreams of history!
A few posts ago you said you loved landings even though they are a high rsik part of the flight. They are not high risk, they are only a slightly higher risk part of the flight regime than cruising at altitude. Landings are very low risk or we would be reading about planes falling out of the sky on a regular basis. Actually, if it happened on a regular basis, we wouldn't read about it. It is only news because it happens so rarely.
Instead of thinking of any part of the flight as "High risk", it may help you to think of the entire flight as "extremely low risk".
I hope so. Some of the most beautiful sights can be seen from the windows of an airplane if you can just relax and open yourself to them. After all, flight has been one of the primary dreams of people throughout history. It is only in the last 100 years anyone has been able to achieve it and the last 50 that it was available to almost anyone in the developed world. You are living the dreams of history!
Jun 18th, 2004, 09:49 AM
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Jayne: Congratulations! It'll get even easier as you take more flights. As for 9/11, I only wish I run into a bunch of those scumbag cowards on one of my flights -- it would be a distinct honor to help the other passengers beat them to a bloody pulp.
Jun 18th, 2004, 10:59 AM
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Jayne, Welcome home! I'm so glad your trip was an uneventful success. How was MV?
Did you fly into and out of TIA--I guess you must have flying SW. I read about your departure too late Saturday morning to think of you and wish you the best as you left, but we had to go the the airport Saturday afternoon after I'd read that your trip had begun. As we drove in toward the terminal I thought of how you must have felt that morning approaching it, seeing the runways etc, and really could feel your anguish! I'm so glad you DID IT. Way to go, clap clap.
Southwest is a terrific little airline (not so little anymore) with a great safety record and a nice attitude to boot. What more can you ask for? Well, maybe something other than Lorna doones, cheese crackers and...I've forgotten the 3rd thing. Who put together that food group anyway?? But hey...it's food and any port in a storm.
Isn't the flight back into Tampa pretty (if you do it during the day)...the beaches and seeing all the water all around us in Tampa still amazes me after all this time.
So...will you do a MV trip report? Tell us all about that nice cool weather--make us drool.
Did you fly into and out of TIA--I guess you must have flying SW. I read about your departure too late Saturday morning to think of you and wish you the best as you left, but we had to go the the airport Saturday afternoon after I'd read that your trip had begun. As we drove in toward the terminal I thought of how you must have felt that morning approaching it, seeing the runways etc, and really could feel your anguish! I'm so glad you DID IT. Way to go, clap clap.
Southwest is a terrific little airline (not so little anymore) with a great safety record and a nice attitude to boot. What more can you ask for? Well, maybe something other than Lorna doones, cheese crackers and...I've forgotten the 3rd thing. Who put together that food group anyway?? But hey...it's food and any port in a storm.
Isn't the flight back into Tampa pretty (if you do it during the day)...the beaches and seeing all the water all around us in Tampa still amazes me after all this time.
So...will you do a MV trip report? Tell us all about that nice cool weather--make us drool.
Jun 18th, 2004, 11:10 AM
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Welcome Jane, and I applaud all of you who were understanding. I helped a friend through her elevator panic. I, too, canceled plans to go to Italy not because of planes, but cars. We had a minor accident in South Africa, and suddenly I didn't want to drive on the left. We stayed in wine country, so my fear of driving anywhere was allayed by Cabernet. I'm getting more fearful of driving anywhere- should I start a new thread?
