escargot

L84sky - too funny...can you imagine him firing up his laptop/blackberry to see what's happening on Fodors and reading a thread all about his own ignorant scolding and then our responses mostly lambasting him !! just imagining that scene is too funny.

L84SKY

If that really is the case (and I'd like to think so although we'll never know) then we should give ourselves a big round of applause and congrats to the "team". Another Travel Scoundrel set right!! \/
And all without toothpaste in the sneakers. It's so messy when it get on the carpet.

Chele60

TxTravelPro ~ This might sound a little harsh, but I mean with all respect. Your son's prescription medication is really none of your business. I know you're a mom and all, but still....none of your business.

He's an adult, is on his own, and can obviously pay for his own medication. Sounds to me like he's got a handle on his situation and for that you should be proud that you raised up a son that is mature.

And besides, do you know all the reasons why that medication might be prescribed? I have a prescription for valium, yet do not have any anxiety whatsoever. I do take for occasional vertigo. I also take Topamax daily, but do have epileptic seizures. I take it to control migraines. Medication such as the one you named can be prescribed for different reasons and under different circumstances. I'm sure he and his doctor has discussed all all of those reasons and circumstances.

And, no, they don't include parents. I'm sure it didn't when you were 24 years old.

All you can do is to let him know you love him and enjoy being with him. Trust he knows how to take care of himself.

And don't turn those prescription vials to see what they are....

JAGIRL

I'm telling you...maybe the houseguest was indeed jorr!

starrsville

I agree with Chele60. At 24, he really doesn't need additional input from Mom - unless requested. You've done a good job raising him. I know you won't stop worrying - but don't butt into his life - especially medical issues - unless asked.

JJ5

You guys are a tough crowd, IMHO. Don't take it wrong, but that's not how most families work in reality. I'd hope someone would care enough about me to turn the vial at any age.

There are huge populations, cultures, religious contexts, that would put this territory into Mother and not into privacy issue. I sure know what my Mother, Amy Tan's mother, or any ethnic mother I know over 60 would do. And they would consider it their right AND their duty. I know, totally different sensibilities, but nevertheless world-wide, it's the privacy issue that would be the one not considered part of the equation.

escargot

JJ5, I'm with you (as a mother and a daughter who no longer has her mom here) - there were times my mom irked me and I wouldn't want to share something with her, well into my 50s..and there were times I was glad she prodded me. I always err on the side of caution...

but then again, families are different. However, and I dont' think a script for an anti anxiety med is cause for overreaction, however - in our extended family at least - we have had several occasions when family thought something was up and we butted in to another loved one's life/privacy - and times when one told us later, the butting in 'saved her life' and probably all b/c of one occasion when everyone thought something was up with a cousin, no one butted in by opening the door for conversation, even though it meant intruding a bit on the privacy factor, and that situation ended in a tragedy leaving many to wonder....shoudl I have at least opened the door with the worst result being told to mind my own business.....

Mothers know signs, and this mother (txtravelpro) will listen to her heart - and only she can decide, knowing her family as we do not, whether she will take any step towards mentioning it or not.

As someone said, the pills could be for a multitude of things - panic attacks, anxiety over a particular situation at work, social, or otherwise, or a mild depression, or something we don't know or couldn't venture a guess about.

If he otherwise seems happy, healthy, no sudden life changes that seem odd, then likely he is as I mentioned before, a mature adult taking care of hiimself and maybe not ready to share - only his mom can make that call on what she will do.

jorr

I agree with escargot. He recognized a problem and is dealing with it in a responsible way with a doctor.

Txtrvelpro, let him bring it up if He wants to sometime. Don't ask him about the perscription. It may push him away from you. He sounds like a responsible adult who has learned to deal with problems in a very responsible manor.

emd

I think this is a good examination into why one does not make up one's mind on what to do in an important personal situation by getting advice on the internet from strangers, no matter how good hearted the people giving the advice may be.

This lady's situation is her own situation, and no one can really tell her what to do. There are likley variables and nuances in her relationships that we don't know about.

This all makes me think of a friend who did not say something when she got peripheral information (not from her son) that her adult son was going through a tough time. He committed suicide a few months later. On the other hand, I also know a woman whose daughter does not speak to her anymore because she let on that she knew something that the daughter kept private and that the mom was not supposed to know. So many variables in relationships.

Everyone's situation is different, and only this Mom can decide what is appropriate for her to do inside of her own relationship w/her son.

escargot

I would hope she isn't going to make up her mind on internet advice from strangers, but sometimes it's good to just get opinions into the mix, b/c sometimes you don't want to ask someone you know - b/c that is too difficult with such a private subject and then letting it out of the box, and not knowing where the info will go from there, no matter how trusted one hoped the friend was.

There was some good 'food for thought' here from many posters, on the scolding guest and the privacy of our children !

Little_Man

txtravelpro, my sympathies are completely with you.
I have a 19 year old who is taking a prescription for depression (prozac) as well. It just seems so terribly hard for kids right now; the world is so depressing for them. And like your son is I'm sure, mine is just the greatest kid ever, I like him so much.

Just a comment re. Celexa -- I took it for a very short time a 7 or 8 years ago, and I hated it -- it made me feel completely disconnected from any emotion at all, good or bad. Probably just my chemical makeup, but it really was not helpful for me. I actually felt like it took away my "conscience". So if my son were taking Celexa, I'd have to talk to him about it, to see how it affected him, privacy issues or not.
Best of luck to you.

kswl

I daresay there's not a parent in the world who could prevent himself or herself from looking at a prescription label in those circumstances.

Chele60, your comment "I know you're a mom and all, but still....none of your business" simply proves to me that you are not a parent. When you are, you will understand why she looked at the rx bottle, and why that is not wrong by any standard.

tcreath

txtravelpro, I just wanted to say that I have a prescription of antidepressents but I am certainly not depressed. My doctor prescribed them for me because I have IBS, a stomach problem that affects millions of women, and there has been some recents studies that suggest that taking anti-depressents can help eliviate some of the pain.

Basically I'm just sharing this because, before you make any assumptions, you should know that anti-depressents are sometimes used to treat other conditions, IBS just being an example, so you never know.

I am 27, not much older than your son, but I am very close to my mom and it wouldn't bother me in the least if she found something and questioned me about it. Now, I certainly wouldn't want her digging through my stuff, but if I left it out, especially at her house, I would almost expect it. I've been out of the house and married for over 6 years now, but I still need my mom and she definitely still feels the need to be motherly to me.

I think that if you are that curious you should talk to him about it before you jump to any conclusions, just to make sure.

I wish you the best of luck!
Tracy

teadrinker

I think the guy is a real X@#*%@!
I have a feeling he feels he is superior to you.
There has GOT to be something wrong with him for doing this.
I wonder if your husband actually knows this guy, and if they're close. It does not sound like a good friend to me. I would be a little concerned if it happened to me. I'd wonder about my husband as well. What's he doing hanging around with a guy like this? I wonder what your husband thinks of this behavior? He definitely should support YOU not his friend, or else his priorities are out of line. Good luck. Interesting topic.

wow

TxTravelPro, faced w/ your situation, my main concern wld be that my son is getting the support that he needs. Sons/daughters know that that is the way that mothers think! Your son probably knows that you saw the Rx...I mean.... he left it out there in the guest bathroom!! If you went in to change the toilet paper roll you wld see it, right? So, just talk with your son. He's 24. You have had lots of practice. Call him & talk.

seetheworld

Seeking treatment is an important step. It means he has been able to articulate his own feelings and concerns. Although we wish it weren't always the case that our children confide in someone other than ourselves, it's often so much easier speaking to an "outsider".

Your son has taken an important step - that should give you some comfort, despite your worry.

I agree very much with what escargot stated. In your heart you know the relationship that exists with your son. You also know whether his mood/personality/aniexty level has changed (for the better or worse). Let that be your guide. Let him know that you are there for him - even our adult children benefit from that reassurance.

My thoughts are with you.

TheWeasel

"Anyway, the bottle was for Celexa and it was just sitting there... I only had to turn it to read the name.
He confounds us..."

I'm mystified by this post. First, I don't get all the references to "he's not gay, he could be, but I don't think he is". I didn't get how that fits with anything else.

As for the depression medication, that's really not all that unusual. I can understand your concern, but I'd be more concerned if he was depressed and not seeing a doctor or taking meds for it. Mental illness (and depression does fit that category) can happen to the best of us - and it's certainly shouldn't have such a stigma attached to it. That's why I'm confused by the "he confounds us" comment. It's not like he's trying to be difficult by being depressed. There are a fair number of people that take meds for depression for a relatively short period (6 mos. - 1 year) and then slowly get off them and are fine. It's not always something easy to cure by talking it over.

seetheworld

If someone is struggling with their sexuality, it can create anxiety/depression. I am also from the school of thought that talk therapy and meds are a very good combination.

Not all kids/adults are easy to read. They can be very complex people and therefore it's not unusual for them to "confound" their parents, at one time or another.

mah1980

This post is getting a little over the top. I am 26 years old. It is quite common for people my age to take depression/anxiety related prescription drugs. My DH takes anxiety medicine due to his perfection driven tendencies and stress of his profession.

I don't think it necessarily has any to due with TX's son's sexuality. Most people my age have depression and anxiety b/c they realize that paying off student loan debt and making it is not easy. We really don't know the whole situation...

MrsKiss

Frankie is right, Does he yell at the maid when he is staying in a hotel? And, he is way out of line...it isn't HIS room, it isn't even HIS house!! You were simply doing what would make him comfortable while he was there...changing the sheets, flowers, etc... He should be thanking you. Does he have something to hide? What a fool. Copy these responses and ask him to read them!!!