Humor aloft
 

Don't you utter a prayer when you return home safely? We did last night coming from Boston via Chicago.

Mostly long and tiring travel. But on a plane from Williamsburg to Boston a little humor from the Delta flight attendant. We had a number of young teens around us and the attendant was instructing them, "if there is loss of air pressure, an oxygen mask will drop down. After you have stopped screaming, place it over your face and pull the strap. If you are traveling with a child or someone acting like a child..."

At the end of the trip: "We have now arrived in Boston. We realize that there are several bankrupt airlines...thank you for choosing us for your travels."

ozarksbill

Funny!

Once I was on a plane and during the safety instructions, the FA said something like, "for those of you who haven't been in a car for 30 years, here's how to fasten a seatbelt." That FA knew how to keep our attention. :-))

I was on AirTran a year or so ago taxiing to our gate in ATL when an FA said "Please move to the starboard side of the plane so Delta's people in the teminal will think we're full". And a week ago as we were getting off at ATL an FA said "Thanks for flying Delta and thanks for not flying USAirways".

About 25 years ago, I was on a very small airplane run by Puerto Rican International Airways (BIG name - small plane.)

It seated about 12 people. The pilot kept the cockpit door open and it was swinging with each movement of the plane. The pilot was smoking a cigarette and leaning back, he yelled to us the "safety warnings."

"If the plane crashes into the water (we were flying from San Juan to St. Croix) the seats can be used as flotation devices. However, there's no need to worry about that because the sharks will get you first."

:D

When I was in the service, we had a pilot who routinely ended his safety briefings with the statement:

"The aircraft commander will be the last person to evacuate the aircraft. If you see me run past you, screaming as I jump, You have just become the aircraft commander".

I have lost the battle about NOT saying anything regarding the SW FA telling the passenger to ".....pick a seat we have to go". ;-)

During a recent flight, after we'd landed and the FA was giving us our departure instructions: "On behalf of XYZ Airlines, I'd like to tell you thank you, because of all the passengers we've ever had, you have been the most.... recent."

My husband, who flew Southwest quite a bit when they were just an itty-bitty Texas airline, told me they used to tell passengers when they were beginning to land and had to collect food and beverage trash, "Hey everybody, time to chug-a-lug!"

I wish I could remember a fraction of what the attendants announced on a Song flight from Ft. Myers to New York. It was like one continuous comedy routine.