How Was Your Weekend?
 

I really didn't want to start this thread, but do want to share with you guys, who I consider my friends about the saddness in my life right now.

Thursday morning I received a phone call saying my step dad (who I consider my dad - although I have two) died in his sleep Wednesday night. You may recall that he had RA and has suffered a great deal since his early 40's - he was 75 yr. old. It is a relief to him and in many ways to the family, and I know he did not want to linger in the state he was in. He was always an active, wonderful people person. One guest at the funeral told this story:

'I went to WalMart about a year and a half ago and I saw Jimmy on one of thosed motorized scooters. I thought I'd go speak to him, but noticed there was actually a line 3 deep waiting to do the same thing. So, I decided to walk an aisle or two and circle back around to see if the line had thinned down. Instead, it had grown, and now there were six (new) people standing in line to speak to Jimmy.'

My dad was just a shadow of the man he was at that point in time and in even worse condition when he finally passed, so I'm surprised they even recognized him in Walmart. But this story brought back memories of a time or two I went to WM with him & my mom and witnessed this same type of thing! (I had forgotten and really thought it was strange at the time, as I didn't know some of the people who came up to him).

Anyway, he is at rest now and I just wanted to share that.


To make this travel related, I will share that we traveled to West AL to the funeral. A small, quaint church - much like some of the quaint ones in Hawaii. A simple but beautiful service, then walked 15 yards to his burial plot.

Also, my sis had to cut short her trip to Toronto and my DS had to find his way back from North Carolina, so much extra $$ was spent getting tickets back.

In fact, they both said the airlines gave no bereavement discount. When sis mentioned this to the counter lady of Canadian Airlines, she was upgraded to Business, but that's all. To my knowledge, DS got no consideration but I don't know who he flew with.

OSB, I am so sorry for your loss. He must have been quite a guy and it's a rich man indeed who is surrounded by so many friends and so much love. Hang onto those wonderful memories...that's what helps us get through the pain and eventually emerge on the other side with happy thoughts of and for our departed family memeber. Hugs!

I'm so sorry OSB! Your wonderful memories will be of great comfort to you.

My weekend was spent in the hospital with Mr.GoTravel. He is fine but we thought he was having a re-occurance of a thing.

I missed a 7.5 mile run and my 18 mile long run.

I hate hospitals.

I travelled to Portland Oregon to do the Race for the Cure (we did the 5K walk) - to raise money for breast cancer. There were 47,000
participants and over 2 million was raised.
we did the walk with one of our best friends who is a survivor so it was very emotional and inspiring.
It was great experience - think we will plan to do it as an annual girls weekend.

We also watched the Ducks beat the Sooners on TV -- Go Ducks!!

Please accept my extreme condolences for your loss. I clicked on this thread thinking I might share about my disappointing weekend, but you have put my mild annoyances into perspective. May you and your family find solace in happy memories of better times and may time heal your heavy hearts. @};-

OSB ~ What a beautiful honor to your Dad that this friend would get up and tell this beautiful story. I know that it is very difficult for people to speak in front of a group, especially when emotion is such a key factor. What a tribute to him that friends would get up to pay their respects in front of all.

I am very sorry for your loss. He was very lucky that he had you, and that you accepted him as your real father, I am certain it meant more to him than you could ever realize.

You and your family will be in our prayers, ((L)) Tiff

OSB, I am so sorry for your loss. You were so lucky to have such a great guy for a dad.

Thinking of you in your time of deep sorrow and loss. I appreciate your sharing this with us.

OSB, I am so sorry to read about the loss of your step-dad. Hugs to you.

GoT, reoccurances can be unsettling--I hope Mr. GoT is going to be alright.

OSB- I was hoping your news was not going to be sad!

It is so hard to lose a parent, even when you know the end is near, you're never ready.

It sounds like your Step dad was well loved though, and that is the compliment I would want for me at my funeral. You can't buy it or fake it, you have to be loveable to be loved.

Please know that many of us are sending you a big cyber hug right now.

xoxox,

Lucy

My deepest sympathy on your loss, OSB. Your stepfather must have been quite a guy!

Sorry about your lousy weekend, GT. I hope your husband is feeling better.

Thank you all for your sympathies. Yes, the man was my Hero in life and many called him 'friend' - the kind that would just stop by often to have a beer or just say 'hello'. Often several in a day would stop by the house - back door type friends.

GoT: I will say a prayer for your DH. I'm sorry you didn't make it to your races. I, too had to cancel on a girls weekend at the beach. Hopefully, my friends will do it again sometime when I can join in the fun.

OSB--My thoughts are with you. Sounds like he was a heck of a guy though, so I hope that brings comfort to you and all your family.

GoT--I hate hospitals too. I'm glad that your DH is fine.

Sumbum--I thought of you when the news showed the record participants! Beachbums wife was there too.

We spent the weekend at the kids sporting events. Always fun to watch them!

I'm so glad that he had so many friends! As folks get sicker and more frail, it sometimes embarrasses others, and makes them uncomfortable. I'm so glad that your step dad's friends didn't shy away from him!

OSB,

I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. I can tell that he will be missed by so many.

Your description of the little country church reminds me of the beautiful spot a few miles away from here where so many of my family are at rest...and the old ceneteries really are restful places.

My thoughts are with you.

Byrd

OSB, my condolences to you and your family. That was such a beautiful story you shared with us. I can imagine the tears were flowing when the gentleman told it at the funeral.

Your poor dad, suffering for all those years. But he is so free from his pain now.

Peace to you, dear one.

OSB - Sorry about your dad - how nice to have a friend tell the story. He sounds like quite a guy.

GoTravel - Sorry about DH, I'm happy he's ok.

Chicago GTG was cancelled. We had a tire/rim incident and couldn't make it, so I suppose it's good that I didn't actually MISS it. We will do it in Spring.

We did go visit family in Chicago on Saturday (with a new rim and new tire) and that was nice.
SIL - who is just a fantastic person is getting divorced and having a hard time. She has a three year old and he's giving her a hard time, not him. I told her he'll give the hardest time to the "safest" person. I don't think it made it much easier though.
We drove home Sat night (because of our dog) and DH sulked like someone took his favorite toy away, and I told him so - the next day. He laughed and agreed.

Sunday was for lawn and yard, washing the dog, doing laundry, etc.

Condolences, OSB. He sounds like he was a good man. That's a long time to ail and he is at rest. He will be missed, I can tell.

My weekend was with the smallest and the oldest. The smallest were a whole lot more fun (6 & 3 year old boys). And the oldest 87 is not fun, but at least he is moving a little. He ate all my brownies up real quick.

Pretty son, you will have another little guy. Don't forget! You can't be sad long- life doesn't allow it.

Yes, he was a great guy, thanks to all of you.

JJ5: My sons made me proud. The youngest picked up his other GrM (will be 87 in Nov.) and brought her to the funeral. My pregnant DIL was told by the Dr. not to attend as it was a 4 hr drive and she has gestational DM. But my nephews wife is due any day now - lives close and attended all the gatherings...so the future was among us.

Also, that nephew (1st born GS) had just by chance gone to visit on Wednesday - spent the whole day with my dad - so I was glad of that, as he died that night.

Hello OldSouthernBelle, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your father who is now free from health problems. He was obviously a man that was loved and respected by so many people. What better legacy could he leave. As you and your loved ones go through this perioud of mourning may you remember all the sunlight and moonbeams he brought to all of you. ((R))

Thank you LoveItaly.

OSB, I am so sorry for the loss of your father. May the love of your family surround you with comfort. You are in my thoughts.

GoT, I hope your husband is feeling better. I hate hospitals as well.

How is your training going (besides missing your long run)? My son was supposed to run 20 miles yesterday, but only was able to complete 14. He was pretty upset as he had no trouble doing the 18 miles the week before - ankle trouble. Are your training runs mostly on pavement? Two years ago he trained mostly on trails, while this year it's city pavement. I think it's causing a lot of problems for him.

GoT, sending Mr. GoT best wishes. Sorry I missed your post earlier.

Oh GoTravel, I didn't see your post, my apologies. Just saw the comments from others now. I so hope that your husband is alright and that his health will be A-OK in the future. Many hugs.

Thank you all for the kind wishes and he is good! Better safe than sorry and all that!

stw, 20 is too much to run right after 18!

I've had a tough time with my training, I've missed three of my long runs but am back in the saddle as of today!

Glad that your husband is ok, GT.

Between her work and running my son says he hasn't seen his wife in 3 weeks other than as a blurr. It is NOT his favorite time of year as a couple.
I must say, that I can barely remember her face myself.

My kids too, OSB, they are STILL going to see their Grandfather every week or two at the most, and one is helping me with accounts and other medical expense problems (he is a CPA) etc. all next weekend. He has a full boat life and it isn't easy for him to take this time, let alone repeatedly.

My one son was my Mom's mainstay in her last 7 months. He spent at least two days a week with her, cooking with her direction behind him as she was propped in her chair or whatever. She put her lipstick on for him. At 26 with a million other things in his life, he tends to know what is REALLY important and it sure does make me proud, as well.

My Mom had 10 grown Grandchildren and one Granddaughter didn't even bother to come to visit her once in the last year. This is the same one who ate at her house every night until she was about 15. My kids never could walk to Grandma's but they sure knew the "way."
I must have done something right.

Boy, does anything make you more proud than when your kids step up and do the right thing?

When FIL was ill last year, our oldest DS took care of him for almost 4 months. Get him up and dressed, have all his pills laid out, get him breakfast and then take his GP around with DS all day.

Get him into bed at night, dinner and more pills.
Of course DS missed FIL the most, because he spent every day with him.

Be proud! You did do something right!

Thanks, angethereader. Sometimes it gets hard to remember when taking care of parents over long, long years of time and disability, that the youngest generation may get short shrift too. I certainly can't be the baby sitting Grandma or trip Grandma, as I would love to be. But people DO need people as they age and not just paid health professionals either. In grief or in sickness, the young can revitalize the older. Give hope, and sustain some joy under conditions of great pain. Something the elderly just can't achieve within their own perceptions.

Aren't the pills alone just a job! We are now up to 7 RXs in variable combinations at 3 different times every day. You need a chart/record just for the blood thinners alone. Yours did well, angethereader. I bet his life overview and considerations about his his own health choices may profit as well.

OSB, in sadness, the youth ARE the joy and the promise of the better future.

OSB,
Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

JJ5 - you said it. It seems like a long haul at the time. Afterwards it doesn't seem quite so long. I will tell you what I told DH both times - "You will be so happy that you did this. You will have NO regrets."

My dad was sick for 2.5 years (although mom is still alive and did the lions share of the care) and FIL was ill on and off for several years, pretty incapicated for only those last 4 months or so.

I think DS was his favorite person in the world (in fact I KNOW he was) and in the end FIL depended on him so much.

It's hard for a young guy, but after it's over that young guy realizes just how strong a person he really is. He knows he can get through the worst and survive. Hard lessons, but good lessons too.

Youngest DS was there to help quite a bit too, and he was only 19 at the time. He was away at college much of the time, but when he was in town, he took up the yoke and took some of the pressure off his older brother. Love how they stick together too.

Good thoughts to you. As I said, later you'll look back and be glad that you did all you did. Your kids will look back and be happy at the relationship they had with their grandparents/great grandparents that their cousins didn't.

Getting through the hard stuff is what makes us close.

End of sermon.

OSB--I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. He sounds like a truly great man and seemed to have really made a good impression on everyone in his life. Something everyone should strive to do. That was a beautiful story. You are in my thoughts.

GoT--sorry to hear about the hubby but glad to know he is ok.

Thanks again ya'll.

JJ5: You're right, of course about the future and not mourning too long.

I just got a call that the GS in in position and the Dr. says to expect him within the next 7 days!

Oh, HOW EXCITING!!! You'll soon see.

Lo siento, mi amiga: setenta y dos anos estan siempre joven.
I had two wonderful, way bright, and attractive houseguests this weekend who, 'tho here planning the younger's wedding, renewed my faith in serious relationships.
Saludos.
M

sorry for your loss, OSB, I'm sure your step dad will live in your memory, and in the memory of many people who loved him

TY Faina.