How old is to old to travel (flight, air and hotels)?
Jun 19th, 2003, 04:44 AM
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How old is to old to travel (flight, air and hotels)?
My 86 year old mother, whose health is just so-so- has never visited New England. She always wanted to visit Vermont and New Hamphsire but it was just never arranged. My husband and I want to take her there. She wants to go.
It would involve cross country air travel, staying at hotels, walking and a fair amount of driving. My father, who is also 86, does not feel that my mother should go on the trip. Most of her friends also feel she is "to old" to travel by air so far from home. They are afraid she is to frail to go and may die away from her husband in a far away place.
Over and over people tell me that 86 is "just to old" for someone to travel by air. What do you think?
It would involve cross country air travel, staying at hotels, walking and a fair amount of driving. My father, who is also 86, does not feel that my mother should go on the trip. Most of her friends also feel she is "to old" to travel by air so far from home. They are afraid she is to frail to go and may die away from her husband in a far away place.
Over and over people tell me that 86 is "just to old" for someone to travel by air. What do you think?
Jun 19th, 2003, 05:17 AM
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An opinion here:
86 might not be too old. There are some wonderful active bright people who travel alone in their 80's.
But your mom doesn't sound like one of them.
I think this is too long and arduous a trip. I might even get tired of cross country travel and walking! If her husband who lives with her every day thinks it is a bad idea, why are you not listening to him?
THere is travel and there is travel. If you want to fly to a city/place with her, stay in one hotel and sight see, that might be great! To drag her along on a road trip might be cruel.
86 might not be too old. There are some wonderful active bright people who travel alone in their 80's.
But your mom doesn't sound like one of them.
I think this is too long and arduous a trip. I might even get tired of cross country travel and walking! If her husband who lives with her every day thinks it is a bad idea, why are you not listening to him?
THere is travel and there is travel. If you want to fly to a city/place with her, stay in one hotel and sight see, that might be great! To drag her along on a road trip might be cruel.
Jun 19th, 2003, 05:25 AM
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There's no rule on age and you should seek out a genuine medical opinion if health is really a concern for travel. I've seen people in their 80s a lot more physically fit than some overweight people half their age who feel like walking to the airport gates is a marathon.
Jun 19th, 2003, 06:11 AM
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Check with your mom's doctor first for an OK. S/he is in a better position to tell you how much your mom can handle (e.g., length of trip and level of activity). My mom travelled with us from Michigan to Vancouver Island. We flew to Calgary, drove to Banff, took a scenic train to Vancouver, rented a car and took the ferry to Victoria.
She was in her late 70s at the time, but severely disable with multiple sclerosis for over 40 years. Her doctor gave the OK, but set a limit on the length of the trip. It has been one of her fondest memories and ours, too.
She was in her late 70s at the time, but severely disable with multiple sclerosis for over 40 years. Her doctor gave the OK, but set a limit on the length of the trip. It has been one of her fondest memories and ours, too.
Jun 19th, 2003, 07:02 AM
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I'm with Scarlett on this. If your father doesn't think she should do it, nor her friends, it doesn't sound like a good idea.
Now for the questions: Why are you encouraging this trip knowing your father objects?
And the biggest question of all:
How would you feel if something bad happened to her or your father died while your Mom was traveling with you?
Now for the questions: Why are you encouraging this trip knowing your father objects?
And the biggest question of all:
How would you feel if something bad happened to her or your father died while your Mom was traveling with you?
Jun 19th, 2003, 07:44 AM
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Definitely, consult the doctor on what to expect and how to deal with it. Then, plan a driving weekend within 100 miles of her home to see how she does out of her daily environment. That will give you much more information than the "insights" of strangers.
As to the person who cautioned about a catastrophe while on the road, I would answer that giving someone you love a once-in-a-lifetime experience is worth a risk. I will say that my greatest regrets are the chances I did not take.
As to the person who cautioned about a catastrophe while on the road, I would answer that giving someone you love a once-in-a-lifetime experience is worth a risk. I will say that my greatest regrets are the chances I did not take.
Jun 19th, 2003, 07:56 AM
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My Dad will be 80 in July and called me excitedly last night to tell me he just was confirmed for his Elderhostel trip to British Columbia.
Last year, he went to the Copper Canyon in Mexico; the year before was China to tour the Yangtze River delta.
A few years ago, I had a conversation with my dying mother about her lifelong and unfulfilled wish to see Florence, Italy. (She was an artist.)
If she wants to go, the doc says it's OK, and you all are willing to take her, GO FOR IT!
Last year, he went to the Copper Canyon in Mexico; the year before was China to tour the Yangtze River delta.
A few years ago, I had a conversation with my dying mother about her lifelong and unfulfilled wish to see Florence, Italy. (She was an artist.)
If she wants to go, the doc says it's OK, and you all are willing to take her, GO FOR IT!
Jun 19th, 2003, 09:32 AM
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I think if her doctor says it's okay and if she really wants to go you should take her. On visits out of the country we have had tours with 86 and 88 year olds that did fine. The 88 year old got around better than me without jetlag! We travel with my 75 year old father in law a lot. We just make sure to always ask him how he's feeling and if he's tired we just let him hang back and relax.
Jun 19th, 2003, 09:50 AM
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In addition to all the other issues raised by others, I'd consider whether or not your Mom is a traveller. Has she been someone who's enjoyed traveling before? Is she adventurous? Is she someone who's not intimidated by a change in routine? As much as I love traveling and staying in hotels, eating out in restaurants, that can also be very stressful.
Jun 19th, 2003, 10:07 AM
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If her doctor gives the okay, and she feels up to it, what's the problem?
As far as traveling by air, it depends on the length of each leg of a flight. A non-stop might not be a good idea, as it requires sitting for long periods of time. However, if the flight is broken up, just ask the flight attendant to have a wheelchair ready at the arriving airport to get her to the next gate. She sits back, and some one else does the walking. (darn, how can I get away with that get up?)
I would try to find a location where you only have to stay at one hotel. Maybe 2 at the most. Moving from hotel to hotel can be tiring, even if you aren't really doing the lifting and carrying of luggage.
Be certain to take frequent rests and stop the car often so she can stretch her legs. And water! Make sure she drinks plenty of water!
I would agree with others that it would be best to bring her husband along, if at all possible.
The worry about her dying alone in a far away place seems a bit odd to me. What's to say she won't slip in the bathroom and die in her own home while her husband goes out for milk?
People who say people are too old to travel are usually referring to themselves, IMO.
As far as traveling by air, it depends on the length of each leg of a flight. A non-stop might not be a good idea, as it requires sitting for long periods of time. However, if the flight is broken up, just ask the flight attendant to have a wheelchair ready at the arriving airport to get her to the next gate. She sits back, and some one else does the walking. (darn, how can I get away with that get up?)
I would try to find a location where you only have to stay at one hotel. Maybe 2 at the most. Moving from hotel to hotel can be tiring, even if you aren't really doing the lifting and carrying of luggage.
Be certain to take frequent rests and stop the car often so she can stretch her legs. And water! Make sure she drinks plenty of water!
I would agree with others that it would be best to bring her husband along, if at all possible.
The worry about her dying alone in a far away place seems a bit odd to me. What's to say she won't slip in the bathroom and die in her own home while her husband goes out for milk?
People who say people are too old to travel are usually referring to themselves, IMO.
Jun 19th, 2003, 11:30 AM
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Here is some clarification: My mother's doctor says she is in good enough health to travel, within reason. The issue had more to do with people's impression that once someone reached a certain age it was time for them to stay at home, relax, and lead a peaceful lifestyle.
My father, and a number of interested observers, feel that a person that old (86), she she looks and acts like she is 86, should live mostly on memories. Most travelers you see on tours are from 60-80. Is 86, an age a person should slow down, as per many people's ideas.???
My father, and a number of interested observers, feel that a person that old (86), she she looks and acts like she is 86, should live mostly on memories. Most travelers you see on tours are from 60-80. Is 86, an age a person should slow down, as per many people's ideas.???
