L84SKY

There are people in my life whom I love to pieces but would never, ever travel with.
The warning signs:
1. On a day off, they never get up until at least 10am.

2. On their last trip to Europe, they complained that, "those people wouldn't even speak English!"

3. You've been out to dinner with them and when the check comes they jump like a snake just landed on the table.

4. You know for a fact that they get up every morning before dawn.

BTilke

I went to San Francisco with a work friend. My travel style is to see a few sights, stroll, relax in a cafe, eat a good meal in a good restaurant. Her style was rush to see as many sights as possible and eat as cheaply and quickly as possible.
I like wandering on my own in new places; she couldn't stand to do anything alone.
She's a very nice person, but our travel styles were completely incompatible and gave rise to frustrations on both sides, so after the trip, we were no longer friends. No big blowup, we just went separate ways.

LoveItaly

LOL BTilke, I have a dear friend that sounds exactly like the woman you went to SF with..maybe they are twins separated at birth? My friend has given up begging me to "take" her to SF when I go as she is exactly like the woman you described. I find just getting together locally for about 4 or 5 hours works out. I know what to expect and I no longer get annoyed as I am in my own city so it is not that big of a deal. But "taking" her to SF, no way!!

Saraho

What great timing to bring this thread back! Six weeks ago we had just planned a much needed two week vacation trip to Italy for October when half an hour later our seventeen year old granddaughter called and and asked if she could come live with us for her "gap" semester. So, of course, we said yes and told her about our plans for our trip to Italy. She wanted to go with us. Okay, her grandfather is thrilled with the idea of showing her his favorite places there.

However, her first month here has been a very difficult adjustment for all of us. After several confrontations over her passive aggressive behavior, her attitude has begun to improve greatly. But we are undecided about whether to continue the plans for her to travel with us. She and I talked about it today, and she assures me that she wants to go with us. I told her that we want her to come, but only if she will be a "happy camper." We decided to wait a week before making the decision, and that if the decision is for her not to come, we'll help her find something else fun for her to do instead- such as visit her aunt and teenage cousins.

Maybe next weekend we'll go on a two day trip with her as a trial run. Any other suggestions of how to manage "alone" time on a trip to Italy with a seventeen year old girl. We'll be in Venice five days, one or two nights in Ravenna, Assisi, and Orvieto and five days in Rome. I've asked her to help plan the trip, and all she has come up with are cooking classes, Venice and not too many churches, please. I've located several cooking classes in Rome. It's tempting to find a several day course where she could stay with other young people- any ideas.

My main feeling is that I do not want our trip ruined by bad feelings on anybodies' part.

cd

Saraho
The best of luck in making this decision! How hard it must be. I can't give advice but would like to share. Our 18yr old granddaughter just made us great grandparents. She is a beautiful baby but we are sad that our granddaughter did not wait until she had an education before becoming a mother. If you see this time with your granddaughter as having any kind of positive influence about life then it would sure be worth your while.

rapunzll

We were going as a family to an event in DC in 1980. Myself, my husband, a 3 year old and an infant. A guy we knew mentioned that he would like to go to the same event, and my ex invited him along on the spot without consulting me. I couldn't stand this guy and we were traveling in a VW Rabbit, not exactly a large car. I was so happy when he flew home after the event and I wasn't subjected to him the rest of the trip. He didn't once ask if it was ok with me before saying he would come along.

Of course, this is the same guy, and EX I might add, who stopped by our home one evening as I was making dinner. Just enough for the family, no extras, and my ex invited him to stay to eat. He said sure and didn't seem to notice that I didn't eat anything because there wasn't enough.

Jerks! My ex and the guy!

Saraho

CD, the reason we agreed for our granddaughter to spend four months with us was because we hoped that we could help her. She has been through difficult times throughout her childhood- too many parental divorces.

We want her to come with us, that is if we can all enjoy it. We don't want to abandon her at an Italian convent ;-)

You have my sympathy for dealing with a granddaughter being a teen parent. I have actually taught teen parenting classes and I know how very important it is for the girl to receive as much family support as possible. The girls that I worked with were amazingly motivated to learn to be good mothers and often their grandmothers were great role models.

LoveItaly

Hi Saraho, just in case you don't know, you have post on the other thread you posted regarding this subject. If you click on your name next to the Welcome sign (upper left of the screen) you will automatically pull up your other thread (and anyone posts you have). Best regards. P.S. I like the idea of taking your granddaughter on a a short trip for a couple of days just to give it a test run.

cd

Saraho
Actually a convent's not a bad idea....Jussssst kidding.

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I appreciate that.

I'm amazed that a 17 yr old would be interested in cooking classes. I think you've hit upon something good and worthwhile. And the fact that she wants to spend time with her grandparents speaks volumns for her desire to be an active part of family.

sworl

Further to my previous post, and by the way I appreciate everyone's responses, they will all be taken into consideration. The friend I am travelling with, called me this morning and proceeded to read me the riot act on how much I am planning in this trip, I have to admit I have gone ahead and booked things (like Broadway tickets) without calling her first, because, we had agreed earlier to go to this one particular show, I saw the chance to get tickets so I went ahead with it then I let her know, the airline seats, I honestly didn't think it would matter where we sit on a plane, it's only an hour long trip, so who cares, I am just too laid back about things and she's not (obviously), so I have given up and I will let her continue on with it, wish me luck however when we go.

MaureenB

Sworl, it sounds like your trip might be stressful with your companion. Your travel styles sound very different, and already she's upset.

I hope you can get separate hotel rooms, so you can get a break from one another (and maybe sneak out on your own!).

Good luck!

TAW

I just wanted to sort of change things around a little here...(brag).
We have traveling companions who are just great. We decide where we're going and I do all the rest. They just show up and pay their half and always are happy with what I've done. We do things together or separate and no one gets upset...we all realize that it's EVERYONE'S trip. We've done cruises, condos in Hawaii(in same one for a month)and shorter trips to various places over the past 20 yrs and are still friends. It is so wonderful (and rare) to find people that are totally compatible with each other. I really count my blessings. We have tried traveling with other couples and have had disasters so now we do it alone or with our 'good buddies'.

starrsville

Congrats, TAW.

My travel time and money is too precious to waste traveling with a problem person. Sounds like you need to have an honest discussion before actually going on this trip.

Cali

I really think you have to sit down and discuss things with the other travelers before you decide to travel together. You usually can tell if you are on the same page if you discuss things in advance. I would also plan some alone time and WOULD NEVER share a room with anyone other than my husband. You need to be able to relax and unwind without feeling you have to do it on someone elses time schedule. We went to a Presidential Inauguration (Reagan's) with 10 friends and we had a ball. We were in the D.C. Area for 10 days and we had all discussed what we wanted to see and do and in some cases they asked my husband and I to plan some things since we had been there many times and knew the area better. It was just fabulous. But, on another trip, we went to Hawaii with friends from another state and it didn't work out at all. We are good friends and assumed we liked the same things but found out that they wanted to lie on the beach everyday (we live in S. CA and can do that at home) and we wanted to do other things so we finally agreed to meet for dinners at night and that worked out fine. We also finally discussed the kinds of restaurants we wanted to go to and found they wanted to go inexpensively and we wanted to try some of the good restaurants so we decided to do their thing one night and ours the next. It saved our freindship so that was good but I know we will never travel with them again.

soosoo

Hi I spoke to my friend again, she claims she is just frustrated with me for planning and not discussing (but we did discuss things initially about what we wanted to see and do, so that is why I went ahead with planning and booking and then letting her know). We have agreed to get past this difference in our ideas and just look forward to a trip away. We do have separate rooms however, because I snore, and I do plan to get out early one morning, to try and catch the Today Show, it's just down the street from where we are staying. I think we have smoothed things over but I am still a bit hesitant about the whole trip. Once again...wish me luck and thanks for everyone's input, it really is appreciated.

LoveItaly

I am confused! There is a post from a soosoo 9/9/06 at 8:38pm that sounds like it is from sworl (the details etc) And there is no other post on this thread that I could find from soosoo. ?????? What am I missing?

BayouGal

Hmmmmmmm . . . two screen names maybe? Strange, that's for sure. I'm confused too. Soosoo are you also sworl?

LoveItaly

Thanks BayouGal, I have only had about 6 sips of wine and kept thinking "what the heck?". So you didn't see any other post from a soosoo either I take it. Hmmm, a mystery for sure.

BayouGal

I think this person has 2 screen names. He/she is obviously picking up where sworl left off and assuming we all know who he/she is.

I am having the old problems clicking on the thread title, but no messages coming up, just that stupid red arrow. Plus, I am having internet problems with my server. I am ready to throw the whole mess out of the window!!! Instead of high speed, I think I have the very old 14k modem speed or maybe slower.

mah1980

This thread is hilarious and totally validates my travel style.

Last week my MIL told me that one of her good friends and friend's husband invited my MIL and FIL on a cruise. MIL & FIL have never been on a cruise, let alone out of this country. I advised them that it was a terrible idea.

I travel with 4 people- my DH, and 3 of my best friends when we all meet for a girls trip every year. My husband and I complement each other perfectly- we have similar interests and he lets me plan, and he trusts me to plan well. If he doesn't want to do something, he tells me and we don't do it, or go our separate ways.

My girlfriends and I all lived together and traveled during college so we have no problem being honest.

I would not travel with any other people, especially couples, because why ruin a good thing?