Has anyone taken parents along on their vacation?
 

We are taking my parents along with us on vacation this year, just curious if anyone has any suggestions?

Yes. Stay in separate hotels.

Only when I couldn't find a babysitter for them.

WE did. It was wonderful and we were able to share many wonderful memories.<BR><BR>I would recommend however, seperate hotel rooms and some private time for each family. Other than that- I say enjoy the time you have with your parents- they won't always be there-

We have vacationed with our children and have some great memories! We declined a Yellowstone vacation with them last month but feel wonderful that they wanted us to go, that they like us, enjoy our company and think we're fun!

Respect and inclusion.<BR>I would love if both of my parents were still alive and able to travel. Not sure what type of suggestions you are looking for.<BR><BR>Are your parents elderly and this is why you are seeking advice?<BR><BR>Have traveld with my 75 year old mother to London. I don't make her move at my pace. We decide together what to see or do. Kind of the way you would treat a friend you were traveling with.<BR><BR>It was difficult getting out early my mother has these morning routines of reading the newspaper cover to cover and saying the rossary (Irish Catholic) every morning. We were out at about 11pm. I am an early riser so I just had to be patient.

That was 11am

If your parents don't need constant (medical) attention don't go for a suite - reserve separate rooms.<BR><BR>Don't spend all time with them - check on them in the morning, make sure they know where to go, what to do there and how come back. Make sure they have hotel's card with address/phone and cash for taxi. Meet them for dinner.<BR><BR>Plan activities together and apart.

This is an odd subject for me. My Mother-in-law who is a widow wants to go with my husband and I on a vacation. She has even offered to pay for it. I feel very sorry for her, but I am having a hard time dealing with the "idea". I also feel guilty when I read others thoughts on how they won't always "be there." I think she should have her own life, friends to travel with. We should have ours, as most working couples it is our only time to spend alone together. We are newlyweds married only 2 years. I find it most annoying that she brings it up quite frequently. Yet I also feel guilty for not wanting her to come with us. I mean did she want to go on our honeymoon also!!! I don't want her to pay for my vacation. I want some privacy with my husband. It is getting to the point where I don't look forward to vacations at all and I feel bad even telling her we are going anywhere. Personally I have 2 grown children from a previous marriage and if I am alone someday, I hope I do not put those demands on my children.

You're not being selfish, Selfish. One of the hardest parts of being an adult is treating other adult family members with proper courtesy and respect while at the same time maintaining family closeness. It works both ways for parent and child. There are other ways to do it than going on joint vacations all the time.

I took my dad to London. we had a great time. I've been to London several times so we went where he wanted to eat (restaurants I wouldn't normally patronize) and saw sights that we both wanted to see. All in all a great trip as we haven't done that much solo over the years. My suggestions are:<BR><BR>1. plan some things they want to do, even if it's not your norm (for me it was eating traditional british food which I loathe)<BR><BR>2. don't over schedule if they're less mobile. my dad is a healthy 70, but I think I overdid on the walking with him.<BR><BR>3. SEPARATE HOTEL ROOMS!!!!<BR><BR>4. Some alone time. We always had a little down time before dinner (chill out in your own room) and we had a couple afternoons apart (I went to the Tate Modern and he went to Harrods).<BR><BR>5. Be concious of each other's schedule differences (he moves slow in the early am, so I'd go workout and not feel like I was sitting around waiting for him and he didn't feel rushed on vacation).<BR><BR>To Selfish: She won't be around forever and you should think about a trip (especially if she's paying). Even if you did a three day weekend somewhere, that's not too much to give. Believe me, I know how Mother's can lay the guilt on, but you would probably have more fun than you think if it's somewhere you all want to go. Also, don't forget your kids will be older too someday and how would you like it if they felt the same way?

Selfish maybe one week with her somewhere else where you want to go. How much do you love this guy if you don't appreciate his mother? Ok you are newlyweds but your not 19 it is not the same. Sorry to be caustic but she is a part of the picture.<BR><BR>Faina what a looser daughter you are. If someone is traveling with you they are not looking to be dumped. And if they need an off spring to check out that they have phone card and essentials than they should not be left alone.

Selfish she has not taken a single vacation with you and you are having all of this angxiety. I would say a bit more tolerance and acceptance for the woman who made the man you love.

Well my husband isn't exactly thrilled with the idea either and I don't see where the love for my husband is related to taking my mother-in-law on our vacations. No I am not 19 but it would just be the three of us. I have 2 adult children from a previous marriage. Allright, I will do it one of these days!! 5 days that is it!! Not an entire week!!

To selfish,<BR><BR>IMO, I believe spending some time with her would be the right thing to do. It doesn't have to be the longest trip ever and you don't have to spend every waking moment with her. This is obviously something she really wants to do. <BR><BR>

To xxx--you do raise a good point. I am glad to receive these view points from others. It makes me see things in a different light. Thanks.<BR>

To Sosad: <BR><BR>Why on earth would you suddenly declare Faina to be a "loser daughter?" According to my reading of her post, she was just suggesting that Debbie didn't have to spend every waking minute of her vacation with your parents. There's nothing wrong with that. In fact, it's a good way to make sure she doesn't get overwhelmed and decides she never wants to do it again! Actually, her parents would probably appreciate a little separate time also. To quote Faina, "Plan activities together AND apart." That doesn't sound like dumping to me. You're really out of line on this one, Sosad.

Selfish, can you do a shorter trip later with your MIL? I feel for the MIL but this is kind of out of line her wanting to go with you all. Put your foot down and do something appropriate (take her to a spa?) later.

This kind of thread always disturbs me. In my family we argue over who gets mom for what week in summer. If I book at a beach and other families can make it that week people are pissed.<BR><BR>In terms of flying and more exotic vacations we all treasure the times our mother could travel with us. Loving our own mother makes us see the importance of accepting in laws. Sure we have humdingers in our family but if we can't teach our children to love, honor and respect their own grand parents than what values are we suppose to be instilling in them. <BR><BR>Selfish You can't be a joy to be around with this sense of entitlement you are feeling however rational or irational it is. Might be wonderful for your husband to spend a week alone with his mom. I don't think I would trust a man I could wedge away from his family entirely and if you are having this much of a reaction over one single vacation well I just wonder what is coming down the road. <BR><BR>xxx and Betty have the most grounded adult responses.

Judy I had the same reaction to Faina I think you read too little of Faina's post. Never a need to call anyone a looser but it also look to me like she has park and dump policy on her parents.