Has anyone ever registered for their honeymoon?
 

My fiance and I are considering registering on-line for our honeymoon. there is a 9%(of the total gifts) fee unless we book through them. Has anyone else booked travel this way or registered for their honeymoon?

Thanks!

I think it is a great idea.

Considering many couples are now marrying later in life and don't want or feel the need for a traditional registry, this is excellent.

I don't think it is any different from registering at your local department store.

I disagree with Barndoggie. First of all, deannagld wouldn't put the information in her invitation, just like no one should put ANY registry info there. It should be given only on her wedding website if she has one, or her family can let people know about it through word of mouth -- it's the same way regular registries work.

Many couples do this nowadays and it makes perfect sense, especially for those of us who are older and have already collected most of our necessities before merging households. A guest can give a gift of "dinner in Venice" or "tour of the such and such museum", and then the couple can take pictures of themselves doing it and send it to the giver with the thank you note! Personally I think this is a meaningful, memorable gift, and I'd be glad to give it to a marrying couple.

About the 9% fee, there are ways around this. I've heard some travel agents will coordinate the "registry" themselves without the fee - you just give guests his/her contact info and they handle everything. You'd need to shop around for a good travel agent who'd do this, but it would be worth it.

Good luck!

Go Travel
Valid point and you are right! and I am wrong as the OP did not say how they intended for folks to find out about thier registry. So how does one find about about these registries??? word of mouth or my including it in an invite. The last wedding invitation I recieved clearly had printed in it, that the happy couple would appreciate cash only. I was flabbergasted by their outright demand for cash. My response was to send a card and I put extra postage on it. When I got married many moons ago, we were broke. We registered at Crate and Barrel and returned all of it for the cash, I still feel bad about it. MIT is an expensive school and we felt that money could be better spent on tuition vs kitchen crap. Even if I could have registered for my tuition as a wedding registry, I would not have. Times have changed as has the world. If you want some interesting wedding stories to read about especially regarding this topic, check out wwww.etiquettehell.com. Very amusing!!!

Having been raised in the wedding business, I don't see this as any different than "passing the shoe around" or "pinning a dollar on the bride" for everyone at the reception to donate a little cash for the couple's honeymoon.

I've seen cash requests at wedding receptions done a lot in various ways and this is more tactful to me, just as long as the registry is in lieu of traditional gifts that one would bring to the event.

I have never ever seen anything listed on an invitation for any registry of any kind.

People find out by word of mouth just like any other registry.

I think many couples do this now, and some of the other posters are correct -- people find out about it like any other registry...through word of mouth!

I just got married and honeymooned last summer...there is a TON of info. over on theknot.com, especially on registering for honeymoons. Good luck!

Yet another fundraising attempt. A person can go broke buying all the gifts, travel expenses and hotel room for the wedding date! There is No Way I would subsidize a honeymooon if "word got out" that I should do so. Totally Tacky. If you can't afford a honeymoon you should not panhandle. You should wait until you can afford it.

jor, out of curiosity, what is the difference between purchasing part of a honeymoon or a toaster?

I can see being offended by a registry but I don't understand how one would be any different from another.

How is having a registry at Pisa Brothers Travel any different than being registered at William Sonoma or Tiffany & Co.?

Who goes to a wedding without bringing a gift? I'd be thrilled to be able to contribute towards a honeymoon, but I generally give cash anyway. What newlywed couple wants another dust collector? I really don't see how registering somewhere you can return everything is any kind of solution, or any less tacky. And I agree it is totally tacky to request cash, or any gift in particular, in the invitation!

I think you should register for what you want, and if that's your honeymoon, then so be it. I can't understand how some people think it's okay to register at a store, but not for a honeymoon. It's ridiculous. People register because it is helpful to their guests, not as a solicitation. And defintely, never, ever should any registry information be included on a wedding invitation. It is, however, acceptible to print registry information on bridal shower invitations (since they are being hosted by someone else, and the purpose of the shower is to "shower" the couple with gifts).

I think registering for a honeymoon is just fine. I have a bigger problem with registering for gifts with the intention of returning them for cash - now THAT'S tacky, and insulting to your guests.

actually, I did that and at the time of getting married I was totally against registering as I think it appears to be a greedy solication for gifts. I figured whatever people choose to give or not give was fine with me,I could have cared less. I was getting married not hosting a fund raiser. My future mother in law did this for me and she meant to be kind, as she told me,people will give you crap. Most of the stuff she registered us for was not practical nor wanted. I tried to talk to the store and get rid of the registry thing but my future Hubby thought his moms feelings would be hurt. I did keep some of the stuff and when I tried to return other items or duplicates the store insisted I take the cash. I am a practical woman and decided to use it towards tuition versus spending it foolishly. I would have been just as happy had we not recieved one gift as I am a firm believer that the invitee's presence is gift enough. The gift of ones time is more meaningful to me than cash or a 5 heart waffle iron, of which I recieved 2 of. I answered because it appears that OP needs and wants people to give gifts in the form of paying for thier honeymoon and that is obviously greedy and in my book falls under the guise of fundraising. I am not the only poster who said it was tacky, either. I have chosen not to live in the states for a long time now and is it now common for the happy couple to get a wedding gift and a honeymoon gift???? or just to make sure that every guest knows exactly what they want!!! cash! as there is no option for a waffle iron or coffee maker there, just a gift of cash. I also wonder how many $50 gifts they will need to be able to pay for the honeymoon. The whole thing is tacky and greedy and I stand by my argument.

barndoggie - I think you're missing out on some key points here:

* deannagld never said that they cannot afford this honeymoon unless lots of people give them cash toward it for their wedding.

* There is not a "honeymoon gift" along with a wedding gift. This is just a way of letting people give the couple money as a wedding gift, but have it go to something specific on their honeymoon.

* A wedding gift registry (whether the gifts are toasters, china, or a dinner in a restaurant in Venice) is not something that guests must use to select a gift. It also is not a way of insisting that guests must bring a gift to the wedding.

You do hear horror stories of the etiquette-challenged couples planning their weddings and putting info about the registry on the invitation, requesting cash on the invitation, specifying a minimum gift value on the invitation, etc. But this is not the majority of marrying couples! Most couples would welcome their family and friends to their weddings with open arms, even if they brought no gift at all.

But, since most people attending a wedding do bring gifts, a registry can help them buy things the couple wants, if they would rather not come up with their own ideas. No guest is obligated to use the registry, but not having ones makes a lot of people nervous about buying something the couple will hate, or already have.

Can you give a good reason why

1) couples should not register?

and

2) this registry for specific honeymoon things is different from registering for 12 place settings of china or a blender?

I'm not understanding how this is in any way greedy.

That is my question also jlm.

If guests wanted to give cash they would write a check and put it in card. That allows the happy couple to do what they want with the money, perhaps use it towards a honeymoon. Also proper wedding etiquette states that guests have up to one year to get a gift to the happy couple. What are the odds that the honeymoon registry will still be around after that time. More than likely the happy couple would like to take their honeymoon right after their wedding. I would be interested to see if they do this and how much cash they net and if it covers a trip somewhere interesting or a crappy carnival cruise. Once again, the registry is limited to a specific trip and dollar amount. NO opportunity to give anything other than money.GOOD LUCK and I hope you make a lot of money from wedding!!!

But just because there is a registry doesn't mean you have to purchase something off a registry.

Why would you say that a Carnival Cruise is crappy? Maybe that is all some people can do.

Actually, the way a honeymoon registry typically works is that people can buy parts of the honeymoon, or just contribute cash. Why is it any different to buy a night in a hotel, than a set of silverware?

Also, when I got married we registered at Crate and Barrel, and at Marshall Fields. What's to say that this couple wouldn't have a cruise registry, and a more typical gift registry?

And finally, as has been stated many, many times, no one is obligated to use the registry just because it exists. If you'd rather give cash in an envelope, or buy a nice piece of pottery, or whatever, you can do so.

I'm trying to figure out which is tackier:

A) Friends are getting married. They're registered at Crate and Barrel. I labor over what to buy them, shop, and have it sent. I later find out they returned the item (that they had circled on their registry as something they wanted) and used the cash to travel on their honeymoon.

OR

B) Friends are getting married. They let me know they are registered online for their honeymoon travel. I go on line and contribute. They go and have a great time.


Nope, I've thought about it and have decided the first one is FAR tackier than the second one.

I have given this a few moments of thought and here are my reasons regarding registries. If I know the happy couple well enough , I will know what they need or don't need. I will know if they are broke and how important a honeymoon would be to them.I would also like to think that if I am invited to a wedding I know the happy couple well enough to pick out a suitable gift by myself without having some sales associate assist me. There is no opportunity for creativity or something handmade, or personalized.Registries provide absolutely no surprises, the happy couple know exactly what they are getting, who bought it, and how much was spent or not spent. People often register for expensive items that some people may not be able to afford but if all of the reasonably priced stuff is already bought then they may feel pressured to buy something out of their budget. Others will chose to register at stores that are extremely expensive so folks have no choice but to buy expensive items. Registries are chosen gifts with a dollar amount attached to them. What ever happened to a gift from the heart??? But then again,when I recieve invitations/solicitations for gifts I usually sent a card wishing them all the best, unless it is someone near and dear to my heart. As I recently did with some one who sent me a graduation notice. I had to think for several days if I even knew this kid, evidently his aunt works for the same company I do.We had talked about him going to an Ivy league school versus joining the military. So for having a five minute conversation about this kid I get a graduation notice with a personalized note stating that kid would love a summer trip to europe. I immediately thought it was a solicitation for cash and threw it in the trash. I did send him a card wishing him all the best in whatever he decides to do. My guess is he is wondering who the hell am I, and why am I sending him a card, but more importantly where is the check? I did ask my co-worker about this and she said you make soooo much money and we did talk about his future that I thought you would want to help. I told her she need to come back down to earth that these types of events are milestones and rights of passages not fundraisers!! Enough, the op can do what she wants but don't be surprised if you don't get the trip you want. As for the Carnival cruise line comment. It is two fold, one my uncle got off Carnival cruise line at the first port is was so bad and he is a former Silverseas executive who wanted to see what type of line had taken over the cruise industry. Second, check out www.planetfeedback.com, it is a pro consumer website and they have a whole section devoted to cruise complaints. The number one line that is constantly being written about is Carnival. I have no personal expereince with this type of vacation as I find the entire idea of having to be around the same people at dinner, etc nauseating. I have to go into my office and fix the servers tonite and that will cost my company plenty by the time I get there it will be after midnite, technically a German holiday. I really do wish the OP a wonderful wedding and honeymoon but I think that they should have some faith in the people they invite to bring them suitable gifts. They may be surprised at how many people will give them a check, anyway. Enough said time to go work and earn the big bucks I make, just joking, the german gov't is taxing the hell out of me!!

Being a suspicious person, and wondering if this was a troll, I checked your name/other postings. Seems like you have been around here long enough, so I apologize for suspecting this was a troll.

I have mixed feelings about registering in general - I know it is incredibly practical, but I also don't like it when people I am close to ask "what do you want for Christmas" - I think that the figuring out of the right gift for that person is part of the gift. However, since the days of everyone living with Mom and Dad until they were married and then actually needing the toaster are long over, maybe it makes sense.

The other option, however, is to pick someplace cheaper than Hawaii.

I apologize if my post has caused any controversy. To clarify a few things... Our registries will be posted on our website. There will be no mention of them in the invitation, I agree that that would be tacky. In defense of gift registries, I have already had over five seperate friends/relatives ask where I am planning to register and that my mom should let them know as soon as we have registered ( our wedding is still almost a year away so we have not done this yet). I appreciate that people want to get us something we really want or can use. I do consider these to be gifts from the heart. This is not a matter of an inability to afford the honeymoon, but several of his relatives have already expressed a desire to contribute to the honeymoon specifically, and not wanting to have them feel their contribution is not enough or that they have to give more than they would like for us to be happy with the honeymoon, I thought this would be a great way to make everyone happy. We will also be registering at Target for those who prefer to give a more tangible gift.

While I appreciate all of the comments, I am hoping to receive some feedback regarding the travel related portion of my post. Is 9% too much? Does anyone know of a site that will provide a registry without the fee?

Thank you all!!

Hello deannagld, I have read this thread with interest and just finished reading your last post.

First of all registring for wedding presents has been around for decades.

Second of all I come from a background that at Italian weddings the wedding gift is given but also cash is given at the reception to the groom for the honeymoon. All done with love and respect.

My biggest complaint is the lack of thank you notes from the wedding couple. Thankfully it is not something I have had happen when family or close friends that are like family have married but I have had times with others that no acknowledgement has ever been made. And I know many people who have had this insult with family and close friends that have gotten married. So just a gentle reminder to (and I am sure you will) get those thank you notes out within a reasonable time. And make the thank you note personal for each person that you write to.

About a 9% fee for registering for an on-line honeymoon. I don't like that. As a bride and groom I would not like it. As a giver of the wedding present I would not like it.

IMO I would register with a trusted travel agent or have your family members mention that a gift toward your honeymooon would be appreciated and leave it at that, if they are asked by family or close friends of course.

I over the past years have given a check to younger family members with a letter stating that the check was for their honeymoon. All of them have expressed their pleasure with this.

Regarding friends, or friends of children. Unless we are really close I personally don't feel a check is what I want to do. Just my thought.

Years ago, my mother received a wedding invitation that had full registry information on it. In the past few years, I've had relatives send out wedding invitations that stated "Wishing Well Reception at XYZ Place". I thought both were tacky. OTOH, I don't mind wedding registers in and of themselves. Personally, I prefer buying the bride and groom something from their own list, regardless of how well I know them. On the other, other hand, I'll be honest, and admit I probably wouldn't purchase anything from a honeymoon registry. Don't know why, just don't think I would do it. But as long as it's not listed on the invitation, I wouldn't find it tacky.

I wouldn't pay a fee for any type of wedding gift.

Hooray, LoveItaly, for mentioning thank you notes. I am beginning to think that is not even considered. One couple received two sets of their crystal and a luncheon from us...not a word of thanks, even though we flew over 1000 miles to attend. Another couple to whom we gave two sets of their china (two four place setting sets) never said a word. I think that's a whole lot tackier than registries! Frankly I get invited to weddings, graduations, etc of folks I hardly know. Usually I know the parents and I haven't a clue what the couple wants. Registries solve the mystery.

E. Post would be rolling over in her grave if she read this thread. How manners have changed in less than a century. Entitlement??????

Registries are considered fine for showers/weddings but never on the wedding invitation.

In the midwest very large weddings are common and thank you notes for all gifts are still absolutely required for the minimum of grace or manners. One shower I just attended last Sunday, had you "fill" out a self-addressed envelope as part of a "game." I just smiled, but you should have heard some of the comments. Wow, talk about tacky!

I just had to post here. I had a work acquaintance send me a wedding invitation with full registry info on it and she had purposely registered for the most expensive stuff she could find. At the bottom of the invitation, the reception info said "CASH BAR". If you're going to grub for pricey gifts (not her first wedding either), then swing for the booze.

To the original poster, I think this is a judgement call for you based on the people you will be inviting to your wedding. A bunch of hard traditionalists might take offense to a honeymoon registry, whereas friends and others your age will not. Consider your invitees. I don't know about the 9% fee though, that's high. Travellers checks would be useful on a honeymoon and there's not a 9% fee for that. Just a thought.

I didn't know people sent wedding invitations with a "minimum gift value" suggested. Holy excrement! Registries or not, people should pick out gifts from the heart, within their budget. Period, doesn't matter how much the chicken dinner at the reception costs.

Ugh! Droolpatrol just reminded me of more tacky shower/wedding stories. I've known people invited to wedding showers held in restaurants only to be presented A BILL for what they ate. Then there's a friend whose own brother charged everyone for food eaten at his wedding reception. This came as quite a surprise to the invited guests.

I think I need to stay away from this trend for fear more Bad Wedding Behavior Tales buried deep in my memory resurface.

Hi everyone! In the past ten years I too have been at showers where all the guest were handed an envelope so they could address it to themselves. And when the "thank you" card arrived it was a printed card with just the signature of the bride to be. Not one personal word on it. Hard to believe how manners have gone down the tube in some cases.

I now do as some others do. When I get a graduation announcement or whatever from a person I really don't know (received only because I sort of know their parents ) I buy a nice card, write a personal note and mail that.

And one other rule I have now regarding anyone I send a present to is this. No acknowledgement, no more presents. I truly believe if a person can take the time to think about what the other person would like, take the time to shop for it, wrap it, buy a card to enclose and then pay the shipping cost and the receiver cannot take five minutes to write a thank you or make a phone call to let on know they received the gift and to thank them then I can't be bothered to spend the money and time in the future either.

I cannot stand to get a thank you note with the words 'thank you' on the front.

Whomever sends the card is supposed to say the thank you. The only thing on the front of the note card should be your name or initials.

When people are being made to address envelopes back to themselves (oh brother!), I find it interesting it would matter to you what was on the front of the card!

I am quite old fashioned when it comes to things like this, so keep that in mind, lol! I personally would not register for a honeymoon. My thoughts are that a wedding registry for gifts (such as through a dept. store) are to help a couple set up their home. We have given both objects as well as checks for wedding gifts. It just depends on each couples situation and what they "need". If we give a check and the couple chooses to put it toward their honeymoon, I would be fine with that. A honeymoon registry though just does not sit well with me, and to have a percentage of the gift taken out would bother me even more. All of this is just my opinion though, so take it for that, nothing more.

Along the lines of thank you's for gifts, before our own wedding I heard an interesting tidbit. A coworkers son got married, and his mother held all the gifts until the couple sent out their thank you's. I thought that was a bit much, but we did our own take on that. We told ourselves that we would not use any gift until all the thank you's were mailed. We have over 250 people at our wedding, and with that incentive (as well as just good manners) we had all the thank you's in the mail within 2 weeks of returning from our honeymoon. It was nice to get them done fast, and of course then we felt no guilt and enjoyed using the gifts.

Deannagld:

"9%(of the total gifts) fee unless we book through them"

This is a rip off. If they were that good of a travel agency, they wouldn't have to hold a good portion of your gift hostage so you'd use them. They will probabaly be more expensive, too. Travel agents don't generally charge a fee for their services, and stores with registries don't charge either. I agree with Suze above, and think you should use a reputable and recommended local TA, instead an unknown internet schister!
Best wishes!

The thank you printed on the front of the card has always bothered me.

GoTravel, no differecence between a toaster and a portion of a honeymoon. I agree. However, the poster said she has TWO registries. the gift registry is at Target. After I register my gift at Target I don't want to be approched for Another gift registery for a honeymoon. From the original post it is clear that the honeymoon registry is an additional registery which is not the gift registery.

Yes, jor, but people aren't required to give from both lists. A registry is just gift suggestions and ideas. I think the original purpose was to tell others in a discreet and polite way which "patterns" you had chosen for your flatware, stemware, china. So what if it has grown to include whether or not you need a toaster, or if you you'd like dinner in Venice or snorkeling on Virgin Gorda. You still give whatever you want, whether it's $20 in a card, or some glass knick-knack you think the couple would like, or something off the registry.