. ((8)) People who need people, are the luckiest people in the world. ((8))
:-)

...Just not anonymous people on line. Real people at home and in community.

JCE--
Since you are obviously directing this to me and maybe a couple of others, I will jump in and respond.

There's an old adage that goes something like,'Don't criticize til you've spent a day walking in my shoes'...

Must you know, it's sometimes easier to express ones feelings in a semi-anonymous forum like this. IMO, it's also nice to 'see' other posters and get to know them a little bit outside of their trip reports.

If you don't like it, why spend your valuable time reading and most especially responding?

Hi JCE
Sometimes it just hurts too much because it's for your family that you're trying to be strong so it's good to have a place to go for words of support.

...yet you chose to go head-to-head with a bunch of anonymous people. Get with it, this is an online community -- you don't have to participate but you are not going to bully us into not participating. And that's right, the people here have strong wills and s*it happens to us all. There is plenty of empirical evidence on the pros and cons on contributing to an online community - if we didn't benefit in some way, we wouldn't be here.

Every one of these people would give their right arm not to be dealing with the issues they are, JCE. I cannot imagine a more insensitive, calloused remark than yours. How utterly, utterly, unkind. :(

You all, thanks for the interesting input on the shower issue. I'm wondering if the differences are regional, generational or some of both? My guess is that region has more to do with it. In this case it's a baby shower and there will be two of them, both given by her mother, one for 60 (!)in the mom-to-be's hometown--a teeny town, and the other for ?? in the city they live in, 3 hours from there. I am the "other" mom and 1) was surprised this was happening, and now 2) wondering if I should have offered to be involved??? Her Mom called to invite me...was she hoping for more from me now I wonder??? Yikes. We live 5 hours away. I was just surprised it was happening...now I'm only wanting to do the right thing !

mms...the 2nd opinion was so encouraging! I'm keeping fingers and toes crossed that the 3rd will bring even more good news. ((l)) Please let us know.

Your community is everyone you touch with words, presence etc. It can be in cyperspace. Kindness and love and sincere caring are never misplaced in any venue.

OO
I am sure you will do the right thing. Because I am old, :-) I have learned that when I don't follow my heart, I regret it. So, whatever your heart is telling you to do........

JCE, responses like yours reveal a basic lack of something important -- partly because you don't "get" why people would share sorrow or sympathy here, but mainly because you feel compelled to rebuke those who do.

Sometimes something weighs on us so much, and we don't want to burden others around us suffering the weight of the same worry, that the one safe place to vent a little is a community of (mostly) friendly strangers.

Many of us consider others on this web friends in -- as JJ5 so eloquently put it -- a community. Although I'm not a card-carrying religious person, might I point out that the definition of a person does not depend on being able to see and touch others' physical selves. Although we are, admittedly, able to self-edit here more than we can in our bricks-and-mortar lives, I still consider us "real" people, especially in these threads.

And after all, at the end of the day (Friday or Saturday or any day ), you do know that you always have the option not to read the posts if they annoy you.

My heart is confused, cd. :)

OWJ wrote, "it's sometimes easier to express ones feelings in a semi-anonymous forum like this". Very odd but that's so true for some of the things that hurt us the most! When our daughter was dx'd with thyroid cancer last year I wrote about it here before I told my brothers or "real life" friends. It's not that I don't love them and have a good relationship with them--it was just too painful to say it to them, then deal with their feeling badly for us, as well! I don't entirely understand the phenomena, but it certainly is true, OWJ!

OO: Why don't you call the mother and ask if there is something you should do to help. I hate being confused :)

OWJ... special tender prayers for you and your hubby during this time. I well remember the deep sorrow that comes with losing those precious babies. As others have suggested, mourn as much as you need ... you will always have a place in your heart for them. Prayers your way for your new meds to bring the magic!

Not even to mention, isn't this a travel site? Maybe the sympathy folks can go to the "other topics" forum with their issues. That's what it is for. I see so much criticism for how "newbies" post questions. Or when airline questions come here, it is a cyber space crime.

Not dircted at anyone OWJ. This type of thing is here weekly. I keep my sympathy and support directed at those in Iraq(oops , can't mention that here).

Wow, dig yourself in even further, JCE!

The FFRR thread was always dedicated to open-ended posts that may or may not be strictly travel-related, explicitly to give people a place to vent rather than doing so randomly on other, fully travel-related posts. The Fodors people were wise enough to let us form a community in the FFRR and rarely edit it.

You are showing your troll colors, too (whether you consciously intended to add the troll element here), by raising the Iraq red-herring. Are you really saying that you have no sympathy for anyone in your local community while there's suffering in Iraq? No, please, don't answer that, it's rhetorical and I don't think anyone wants to hear any more from you with an argument why sympathy is bad.