Fiance Visa
 

My son is getting a fiance visa, so that his girlfriend from Europe can come back to NYC. They must be married within 90 days upon her return. Think they are just going to get married without family. And then renew their vowels in her country in 2 yrs.(after she gets permanent residency). But,if they do want the 4 of us(husband, daughter,son-in-law & me)to attend, we don't want to go to NYC. Is there a nicer setting in US for a simple ceremony that we could fly to & maybe make a vacation out of it? We live near Raleigh & daughter lives near Dulles Airport.
Thanks for any suggestions.

That question consonantly comes up on these boards.

There are literally hundreds of answers to your question depending on budget, type of vacation, and how far you want to go. Try Florida, the beaches are nice. Maybe Charleston, SC.

My son had mentioned Las Vegas, but my husband felt that would be corny & gaudy.

He then mentioned Miami. He's never been to those places. He's been to Vt.,Niagara falls,& Orlando.

They don't really have much money & since we just retired, either do we.

We just don't like the city. We would go there when we lived in NJ, but we're just not BIG city folks.

Thanks for writing.

Any other ides?

Am I the only one who thought this was a new type of credit card???

Nope :)

Is your son asking your opinion, or are you just hoping? You might want to come up with an option close to their apparent preference, which sounds like NYC, and suggest somewhere lovely in NY State or thereabouts.

Oops! I read he's considering a range of places. I'll go with the Charleston idea, unless we're talking sometime in the summer. When are you talking about?

If everything goes well at the consulat in Europe,probably before December is my guess as to when they will marry.

I think that my son wants to get her an engagement ring before she goes back in 3 weeks. But money is tight. My daughter suggested a friendship ring.

An engagement ring doesn;t have to be a diamond - in fact in europe they frequently use other stones. Mine is in fact a sapphire (my birhtstone and my favorite stone) - and at a time budgets were tight this got me a ring I liked much more than some diamond chip - at a reasonable price.

This is an odd question.

No offense I swear (it seems like I'm getting yelled at all the time for being rude and I honestly am not trying to be ugly) but your son is nice enough to want to include you and it seems like you are throwng up roadblocks.

Don't like the city, Vegas is too expensive, etc.

Could there possibly be an underlying reason for this? Maybe you don't really approve of this marriage?

I would tell your son to pick wherever he and his fiancee would like to get married and you and the rest of your immediate family will move heaven and earth to get there.

You don't want the fiancee down the road to become resentful.

Just my opinion and I am not trying to offend you.

Good luck and let us know how it works out.

Just read GoTravels response and I agree. The biggest hassle my wife and I had when planning our wedding and reception were the "requests" from her family, my family and friends. "You need to make sure they have coffee because your Uncle looks for coffee right away." "Why are you having it New York City, where are people going to park and people won't come..." "I know I wasn't invited with a guest, but two friends are coming in that weekend, can I bring them.?"

Getting married is stressful enough. Let them tell you what they are thinking and what they'd like to do. It is afterall about them.

Yes, Judy, I opened this to check out this new type of credit card!

If this is a serious thread...take them to Gatlinburg to get married. It's 2nd to Vegas in marriages...and, you can have a very nice wedding there or you can get one of the drive-thru $69.99 deals.

Just one thing to think about, since just about any place is bound to have some nice location for a small wedding:

When they go through the lengthy process of dealing with the INS for permanent residency, they are going to be required to come up with all sorts of documentation of the marriage, their life together, etc.

If they get married away from where they will live and where the INS office is located, they will either need to be careful to get everything they need and store it faithfully or get married close to home so that return trips to gov't offices are easy to make. Been through this when my (then) fiance was moving from Australia and it was nice that the county registrar was only a few miles away.

Good luck to them and here's wishing them a happy life together.

Couple of suggestions from someone looking for a credit card.

Inn at Little Washington, along the Skyline Drive, or Colonial Williamsburg, VA.

In NC I've been to several lovely weddings at the Fearrington House south of Chapel Hill. Also check for places in Hillsborough, NC. Quaint historic area.

Gaitlinburg does have a wedding industry. Also check for B&B's that have wedding packages. Also might want to post at the know website (either theknot.com or knot.com)

I apologize in advance, but the image of 2 lovers "renewing their vowels" is just too good to let pass by without comment. :-D

"O" honey, "I" love "U" more now that "I" did ten years ago.

Would this be an example of renewed vowels?

Hello Clifton!
I was so pleased to read your message. The kids have gone through so much paperwork/aggrevation, as you well know. Their petition for a fiance visa was approved recently here in the States. Now they have to wait on the consulat in Croatia, which will take time. The girlfriend is from Slovenia(beautiful country), for those who don't know, it's below Austria & formerly part of Yugoslavia. She returns to her home later this month, thus starting her long road of questions, medical tests, etc.
Anyway, I really appreciated your tips about the marriage location. I have worked hard with them to provide pictures, birth certificate, etc. to help prove that they have lived together over the last 2 yrs. They met while attending the University of Vienna, 2/01. They are very devoted to each other, but the entire process of getting her back here is very stressful. She wants a wedding like my daughter's, small & in the country(Paris, Virgina~Ashby Inn). But she wants it in 2 years, in her country. Can you blame her? It was difficult for my son to tell us that they will just go themselves to City hall to get the license. I don't know if they can get married there as well. All I know is that he is confused. He wants to make this special, even though our government is forcing him to do this quickly.
Did you marry the girl from Austalia? I hope so! If so, how long ago was it?
Nite!
NCPhyl

Although you may not be crazy about NYC, it does probably make sense for them to get married there. I think you could make a very nice celebration for them, and as there are only 6 of you in total, logistics should be easier to work out. You could have a nice vacation in NYC, IMO, seeing museums and plays. I would suggest the following:

1. Get married in Central Park and have a lunch or dinner at the Boathouse or one of the hotels near the park. For information on getting married in the Park, go to ww.centralparknyc.org. If you click on weddings on the left, you will get lots of information on where and how you can be married in the park.

The Boathouse
Park Drive North and E. 72nd St.
Central Park
New York, NY 10021
212-517-2233

Lovely restaurant on a small lake in the park with great green and city views.

Restaurants near the park include the Plaza, the Stanhope and the Mark. You could also consider the Crystal Room in Tavern on the Green, which is a lovely setting, although I have to say I am not crazy about the food.

2. Get married at City Hall in downtown NYC, and have a meal at one of the following:

River Café
1 Water Street
Brooklyn, New York 11201
Telephone (718) 522-5200
http://www.rivercafe.com/

Stunning views, great food.

Fraunces Tavern
54 Pearl Street
(Corner of Broad Street)
Tel: 212-968-1776: 212.797.1776
www.frauncestavern.com

In the Wall Street area, would be walkable from City Hall; a Revolutionary War-era restaurant and tavern (George Washington ate there) with very good food.

No, I couldn't blame her a bit for wanting the hearts and flowers version of the wedding at home where she grew up. I'm sure she'd always imagined it there. And I've seen photos of Slovenia! Going to the 'big' version is a major plus for you too! I'd love to go. They'll get through the INS stuff. The INS is more like a patch of really sticky goo than a wall. You can see the other side, it's just a pain to get there.

Yes, I did marry the girl (just around 5 yrs ago). I'm no fool. :) Best choice I ever made.

ncphyl,

My youngest brother married his Ukrainian girlfriend about five years ago. It was a stressful process for them as well. Your son and his fiance need to make sure they have everything in order. Get as much info as possible and go about this in a very methodical manner. Yes, it will take time. Expect that.

My brother and SIL married in a Russian Orthodox Church in Ukraine (beautiful ceremony) and then they married in a civil ceremony here. Everything worked out fine.

Martha

There is a very very beautiful Ukranian Catholic Church in either SoHo or the Lower East Side. I can't remember the exact location. It was near the flowered mural of the Twin Towers.

Ryan, I got it :)
Marilyn & GT, very funny :D

ncphyl,
My son is living in Japan, it will be 5 years soon. He now has a girlfriend, "the most beautiful girl in Japan"...if he wants to come back here and marry her, I do not care where or when, I will be there with Bells on!
And I will go back to Japan and be there for the Vow Renewal.
He is my only son, if he wants to go back to where he was born and raised (NYC) how can I not be there?
I am sure there are 'nicer' settings for weddings all over the US but the point is- wherever your son wants to marry his girl, is going to be the nicer setting.
If you are living in NC, you can drive up, and save money too.
I wish you ALL great luck and happiness and I hope someday I get to talk about our kids weddings on here too :D ((L))

Scarlett,

As my late grandmother used to say "from your mouth to G-d's ears"! I totally agree with you. When & if my daughters decide to marry, I'll be there (anywhere) with bells on too!

Your son's fiance will get a green card after they get married, which is temporary for 2 years, at which point she applies for a permanent green card. So she'll be a permanent resident once she gets that temporary green card (I know, sounds confusing).

People get all excited about "showing proof" of the legitimacy of their marriage. You really just need the basics. Marriage license, obviously. Wedding photos, a program if there is one. The INS didn't ask us (my husband's from the UK) to see any of it. After we showed them bank statements in both of our names, they were satisfied. Then, when we applied for his permanent green card, they were happy enough that we had taken on a mortgage together. Didn't ask to see anything else.

I wholeheartedly agree with what GoTravel, Ryan and Scarlett have said, and like GoTravel, hope you will understand the spirit in which this is written.

Reading between the lines, your son is trying to keep things as simple as possible--"just go to City Hall", then next in line in simplicity, Las Vegas where you walk in, get married and walk out. No fuss, no muss. He also needs to keep it reasonable in cost. They are getting started, there are trips back and forth between here and Croatia, he wants a ring--$$$$$.

Watching your son get married and begin a new shared life with a partner should be the <i>only</i> thing that matters. The city, the style, all of it, must be their choice; what makes them happiest. At this point in their lives, we parents are just along for the ride, happy only that they have found a partner with whom to share their life. It can be a very special occasion for all in NYC with a lovely family dinner after. No pressure, their wedding, their way.

Quick story. 35 years ago I wanted a wedding like your son's: a no hassle event, no planning stress. My Mom insisted that I could not get married at City Hall...&quot;surely I wanted a nice wedding&quot; (No..) I backed down and did it their way, but in the town my husband and I were living in (VA Beach), rather than MA where my parents lived. Against my wishes, it was in a church with reception, flowers, invitations, bridesmaids etc etc. The thing made me so darned nervous I spent the morning of my wedding not enjoying my day in the limelight, but throwing-up, up to minutes before the ceremony! Did I enjoy the wedding...not at all. I didn't hold it against my mother, knowing her beliefs, and she honestly thought it would be what I wanted too...but had it been my mother-in-law putting the same pressure on us, we may very well have been off to a poor beginning in a relationship that takes all sorts of care and nuturing and is frought with boobytraps under the best of circumstances.

I hope you'll let the kids plan what they want now, then you start your own planning...for a trip to Croatia, which truly is a beautful country, where you can enjoy the wedding you would hope they can have.

Hope it all goes smoothly wherever they decide, and a memorable time is had by all.

Amtrak from Charlotte to NY Penn Station is cheap.

So very well said OO.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I didn't expect so much feedback.

Author Cicerone: I really appreciated your time/links to places in NYC. I printed them out &amp; will browse later.

Author MarthaB: That was a very touching story. Thanks for sharing. By the way, my husband is Ukrainian, but was born in Newark, NJ.

Author Ann41: Your message was very informative. I have good friends who are brilliant, charming Brits(The Hodgkin Family) who I knew in Jersey, but moved to Kansas. The husband's ancestor discovered the disease. True story! And we still keep in touch.

Author Scarlett: Bravo! I do hope that your son gets married &amp; that you see him real soon. Five years is a long time.

Author Clifton: Did you visit Australia in the last five years? Wonderful story, as I mentioned earlier. Keep happy!

Here are some beautiful pictures of Slovenia.
Copy/paste this link:
http://home.freeuk.net/billmarshall/bphotoslov.htm

I hope that my health allows me to be able to see it in person someday.

Bye2 NCPhyl

NCPhyl,

Yes we have actually, several times. All of her immediate and much of her extended family live there. Wonderful trip there too. If you ever have a chance to go, do.