Etiquettte and protocols in a NYC diner/bar!
 

Hi all,

I'm sure these are going to sound like very silly questions to some of you but could someone explain the step-by-step way you are supposed to sit, order and pay in a typical NY diner? Even though I've been to the city before I kind of winged it and was never really sure what the 'correct' way of doing things was. So basically, is this how it works?

You enter, a waitress will offer you a table. You order. After you finish, you call the waitress for the check, then you get up and pay at the till before leaving. Is that right? Or is it more common to put wait for your waitress to pick up your check plus money and give you change?

Also, if you are seated at the counter, is it normal to give your order direct to the guy behind the counter or should you still wait for a waitress to come over?

And furthermore, when you are at a bar, and you leave a one dollar tip, and the barman takes it, and places it back on the bar in front of you - what does that mean? Is the idea that you are supposed to leave the tip there until you leave?

Your advice is much appreciated!

1) look for a sign that says "pay here" at the counter 2) ask the waitstaff when you get the bill.

I don't know that there is a typical way to pay. Watch what other people are doing. LIke the other poster says, sometimes there are signs that indicate you pay at the cashier (don't forget to leave the tip on the table before you leave!). Usually, the waitress will bring you change unless it is otherwise indicated by a written sign. If it's not obvious, just ask and don't feel weird or embarrassed for asking, sometimes it just isn't clear.

As for bars in NY, when I lived there, I typically left a dollar per drink ordered as tip. I often left the money on the bar as I took my drinks. Often it sits there for a while before the bartender takes it. I've never seen a bartender take the tip and then put it back on the bar again.

Well - first of all NYC doesn;t have very many diners - but does have a lot of coffee shops - and the rules are similar. You enter and wait to be seated. As you enter see if there is a counter/cash register at the exit. If there is, you get the check from the waitperson and pay there. If there isn;t, you pay the waitperson and they will bring you your change.

If you eat at a counter - even rarer - you give your order to whoever is serving. For paying the same rules as apply above.

Don;t know what the deal is with the dollar and the bartender. Was he giving you change? Did you return it to him? How many drinks did you have/how expensive were they? Was this his comment on the size of the tip? Or were you ordering another drink - you tip at the end - when you pay - for whatever you drink - not one at a time.

You seem to be overly concerned about a basically simple experiences, which are no different in New York than anywhere else.
Paying the check: Simply ask the waiter/waitress whether you pay her or the cashier....and then just proceed after the she responds.
Sitting at the counter: The service person will probably come up to you, so you won't have to guess who'll take your order.
Tipping at a bar: Like the other posters, I've no idea what it means when the bartender does that. But, don't worry about it! You've left your tip. How the bartender responds is his/her problem.

Re the bar money:

I've watched my husband do this interchange for years, it's mysterious (I think it's a guy thing), but here's what I've deduced:
Say you pay for your $6 drink with a $20 bill. You slide it towards the bartender, and when he's ready (this could be immediately or a whole half hour later depending on his efficiency), he takes it and places the change sideways on the bar. You're supposed to leave it there until you either leave or order another drink, in which case he takes another $6 from your little stash. At the end, you get up and leave, leaving the tip behind. I think that's what he was doing, leaving the $1 in case you wanted to add to it and/or order another drink.

Steve, just ask. You will not be the first person and certainly not the last to do this.

As a rule of thumb, the less formal the restaurant, chances are likelier to have a cashier. Most waitstaff carry their own 'banks'.

Regarding the bar...if you are sitting at the bar, the bartender will put your change on the counter which you let sit there until you leave...at which point you leave a tip and take the rest. If you're getting a drink and then moving to another area of the bar, then take your change right away and leave a buck for the bartender.

Thanks for all the explanations - in particular the bar thing!

As a rule, if the server places the check directly on the table, without putting on a tray or in a holder, this means you are to go to the cashier to pay. If the check is on a tray or in a check holder, then you pay the server directly. If the check is in a check holder, you will speed things up if you insert your credit card so the end sticks out, thus allowing the server to see that they may pick it up and cash you out.