In my South Jersey neighborhood in suburbia I am on friendly terms with all my immediate neighbors. My husband worked a lot of evenings when my kids were younger and I could always count on them to watch the kids in a pinch and vice versa when my one neighbor went back to school. <BR>It seems like one of the best places for socializing is at the elementary school busstops. Most of the moms or dads walk their kids to the busstop and wait until the bus comes. Often people stay and chat even when the bus has come and gone. <BR>My friends in the city seem to have made friends at their neighborhood dogparks. Dog people seem to be a friendly bunch!

I've lived in Delaware for 8 years & Penna. for 38 years & I've found that neighbors overall are very hard to get to know & socialize with. And in response to an earlier post, I have noticed a drastic decline in children playing outside. We are slowly becoming a de-socialized society. So IF that's the case, who are all these people talking to on their cell phones if no one wants to be bothered with anyone else?

Good fences make good neighbors.

I have lived in Bethesda for five years and I believe that Montgomery County MD is the snottiest, rudest, most unfriendly place on earth. I have never seen more self-important, self-involved people anywhere. Born and raised in the midwest, lived most of adult life in Oregon. Came here for the job, but I don't think I'll be able to stand it much longer. Everyone on my block keeps to themselves. When you go out for a walk, the people that pass won't even LOOK at you, much less speak. When I try to strike up a conversation, they act like I'm a serial killer or something. Jeez, I hate it! Funny, just the other night I ran into a guy from France who was in the video store and asked me about a movie, we started talking and he said the same thing...what's with all the rude people here?? I told him it wasn't like that everywhere in the US, but I'm not sure he believed me.

Geena,<BR>having lived in Mont. Co for the last 18 years, I have to say that I agree. They keep building these 'planned communities' such as Kentlands and King Farm where each house is 4 feet from the next and sell for almost half a million dollars but people still are not friendly. It's like they have to be forced to smile or something. My neighbors and I are on a hi and bye basis but since our neighborhood is consisting of about 4 homes, we try to get to know each other. But yes, our area (Mont. Co) is quite snotty and full or self centered people. Maybe it's the traffic.

I, too am from Minnesota. Suburb of Minneapolis. I have found that the level of income does determine your snot-potential. The upper-middle scratching their way to the top are the worst! We are in a mixed-income neighborhood. When we first moved in 2 years ago, we hosted an open house for the neighbors 1 day after we moved in. We supplied beverages and snacks. I recommend this! Hey, no cleaning because no one expects your house to be together in 1 day. Met lots of people at the party - of course some of these same people barely lift their hand up for a good old midwestern wave now. Minnesotans are not necessarily rude; they just are so dang private. I am originally from South Dakota. Now there are some friendly folks!

Stephanie is a wonderful neighbor! Everyone should have a neighbor like Stephanie!

Oh, I forgot to add that another time I went on vacation, I left my car keys with one of my neighbors. When I came home, he had washed & polished the car for me!! Of course, it was embarrasingly dirty and served as kind of an example for some of the other car-nut neighbors. Some of those other guys came by while he was half done to say, "WOOOOW....is *that* what the car used to look like?!" (Pointing to the dirty half.)

We live in a popular tourist spot on the northern west coast. As its such a well known vacation place many people move here from Southern California. It is they who are the problem in our area. Our house & neighborhood was a great place until 3 houses sold from "old timers" to wealthy LA area people and there went the neighborhood. It went from a friendly, caring place to a place where new neighbors take "old timers" to court for having a clothes line on their own property! Where if you don't fly the American flag everyday from a big flagpole and are not active in the local GOP party then you are ostracized. Where if you don't mow your weedless heavily fertilized lawn every few days you're called a "dirty hippy" and "tree hugger" and <BR>get people's backs turned to you when you come out your front door. The worst neighbors in the world are the wealthy of suburban Los Angeles who spread oout and contaminate the pleasant places that used to be here in the USA.

We live in Chester County, PA in a development of 20 homes all built within the past four years. There are no sidewalks and each house sits on at least an acre which tends to put the front porches far back from the road. This does lend itself to close contact with any neighbors other then a wave and a hello.<BR>Besides that most families including mine are two career households that are so busy with everyday things that socializing with the neighbors is relatively low on the list of priorities.

Some of it is the times. Here in Fairfax, VA, across the river from suburban Maryland where everyone complains about unfriendly neighbors, people generally get home from work at 8 pm after fighting terrible traffic. Both husband and wife work and the kids are all in programed activities. <BR><BR>When I grew up in southern Indiana in the 1960s everyone talked to their neighbors on a summer evening. We have really lost something.

Rural S.C. 17 mi. outside Greenville.<BR><BR>Nearest neighbor 42 acres away.<BR><BR>Neighbors call us at work if the alarm goes off or the cows get loose. Other neighbors showed us how to make the well work when the power was out. We wave when we see each other and perhaps stop for 5 min chat if we run across one another while strolling. <BR><BR>But socialize? No, we have friends for that. Perhaps in more homogenous neighborhoods it's possible to have a lot in common with your neighbors, but out here, you have 30-something accountant living next to 50-something guy who builds golf courses living next to people who would have to take a bath to qualify as a redneck. <BR><BR>

I think the distance one commutes every day in the metro DC area has alot to do with friendliness. In my immediate neighborhood of Falls Church, VA none of us have more than a 20-30 minute commute one-way, so there's plenty of time to unwind and be friendly in the evenings, and we don't feel so pressured to spend our weekends running errands that we can't get done during the week. We have sidewalks, too, so perhaps that motivates us to go outside.

I am mid-20's something and live in the same neighborhood I grew up in. There were 8 kids all in the same age group and we are like siblings. Even after some have gotten married and had kids. Our parents are all close and we spend holidays together as a "neighborhood family." Wouldn't want it any other way. I am closer with my neighbors than I am with my own extended family!

Live in a suburb of Buffalo, MY, with a population of over 100,000 but I fondly refer to my smallish (@200 homes) neighbohood as Cleverland, after Leave it to Beaver. We have an annual Block Party for the entire development (4 streets)which is wonderful due to the many diverse nationalities, many neighborhood friendships, a group which takes a trip to a resort in Canada every summer and welcomes anyone who wants to join in, a group of women walkers who walk together everynight, backyard campfires and smore parties, snowstorm parties, celebrate life events together, etc. Adults look out after neighbors children, people help each other out. The neighborhood kids are raising money for Carly's Club, a fund for research etc. on pediatric cancer. there are those who shy away from things and those who are more involved than others. It's too bad for Neighbor that s/he's the only one in the hood who wants to truly have a nieghborhood.

We have been living in Chester County, PA for the past 9 years on a cul-de-sac street w/ approx. 45 houses on it. I've learned that this is a yuppie neighborhood where people just wave or say hi. And kids are spoiled rotten. They're "given" BMW's before they graduate high school - yeah, really. <BR><BR>The residence on this street range from 40 - 65ish. We're the only ones with no kids. Previous owners had pool parties and invited the neighbors. We, on the other hand prefer to keep to ourselves. Our neighbors know nothing about us, and quite frankly, don't need to know. We do say hi while walking the neighborhood, but don't lend ourselves to "get to know" by choice. Don't need neighbors dropping in on hot days to go for a swim with the kids because we have the pool, or dropping by for a long chat when we're working in the yard. A short neighborly chat is exceptable without the 101 questions about our lives. <BR><BR>I remember when we first moved in a neighbor stopped by with 2 of her kids and some cookies. She asked if we had kids, I said no, and that was the last time she made a friendly attempt. <BR><BR>Thank goodness for my 6' fence around the back yard.

Jan, you might as well be describing our small, rural Colorado town. It is overrun with former Southern Californians whose favorite past time seems to be building more houses, moving in for a year, then flipping the houses for profit and moving on to the next bigger and better trophy home. No sense of community any more because the newer residents are more interested in what they can take than what they can give. <BR><BR>We now have our first strip mall and fast food joint, thanks to the developer from Irvine who also promises "a gas station on every corner" of our rural county. He and his developer cronies have the GOP members of the county commission in their pockets, and they merely serve to rubber stamp any and all development that is presented to them. Little issues such as lack of water or the wishes of the constituents count for nothing. All commissioners were recalled a while ago, but they have so much power at the local level they simply decided they didn't want to be recalled and threw out enough petition signatures (claiming they were not legitimate) to thwart the recall. <BR><BR>Meanwhile the bulldozers loom, people who own livestock and farms now have to compete for water with developers who want golf courses on the prairie, and it's all called "progress," thanks to those guys from Pasadena, Marina del Rey and so on. <BR>

Not just Californians are spoiling old neighborhoods!<BR>Since Sept 11,there have been numerous homes in our town,bought,almost completely destroyed,and only thanks to the towns historical status is there some control over the huge ostentatious buildings that go back up.<BR>Then after spending all this money on their own property,they start taking neighbors to court,harrassing neighbors,all so their VIEW!!! will be good.PUHLEESE! right now, a neighbor daily goes to his neighbor next door and hammers away at him to rebuild hisgarage,because even though they spent $40,000. on trees to cut off the view to his property,they can still see the roof of his garage from there bedroom terrace.<BR>It isn't what state you are in-it is the Entitlement that some people feel.

Sheesh, if I were that harassed neighbor with the garage, I'd be tempted to paint that side of it neon pink.

I moved to Minneapolis two years ago, and know 6 of my 8 neighbors very well. A couple have become close friends. I did not expect it at all.<BR><BR>Part of it is taking the initiative to introduce yourself. I bet many of the people who don't know their neighbors, and would like to, have never gone out of their way to say hi either.