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-   -   Do you socialize with your neighbors (https://www.fodors.com/community/united-states/do-you-socialize-with-your-neighbors-230787/)

Neighbor Jun 13th, 2002 09:57 AM

Do you socialize with your neighbors
 
I recently traveled to a small town in Minnesota to visit family. Now that summer is almost here and the weather warm and sunny, I was just amazed at how neighborly everyone was in this small town of 40,000 people. The relatives know everyone on the street (of 21 houses) and there are block parties with almost 100 percent attendence three times a year.<BR><BR>Here in suburban Washington DC (in Rockville, MD) I live on a dead end street of 19 houses and no matter how nice my wife and I are to the neighbors, we can not get more than a grunt out of them. We have tried to organize block parties, but people were totally uninterested.<BR><BR>I remember when I grew up in Butte, MT in the 1970s all the neighbors use to talk all the time.<BR><BR>In your travels, have you determined that being friendly to the neighbors is out of fashion?

Hank Jun 13th, 2002 10:03 AM

They did an interesting survey of people, recently, about their feelings about talking to neighbors. According to the survey, most people who live in big metro areas do not know or care to know their neighbors. <BR><BR>The survey said that people who live in the midwest, mountain states and the south were more likely to enjoy talking to their neighbors. Also people who lived in small towns, not part of a big metro area, were more likely to visit with their neighbors. Sure seems logical.<BR><BR>In my town, outside of Boston, no one even bothers to wave anymore.

NorthernVirginian Jun 13th, 2002 10:15 AM

We've lived in the City of Falls Church, VA, now for six years (pop. about 10,000), ten minutes outside of DC. We bought an old home in an "established, mature" neighborhood, and socialize with all of our immediate neighbors. On summer Saturdays it's nearly impossible to do any yard work because we're always stopping to chat with neighbors or people out and about from another block. Our age group ranges from thirty-somethings to our dear neighbor who just turned 94, some with children, some not, with a good mix of retirees, stay-at-home and work outside the home professionals. Not only do we wave, but we look after each other's houses when we travel, shovel snow for the older folks, etc.

Stephanie P. Jun 13th, 2002 10:17 AM

Neighbor:<BR><BR>I am immediately surrounded by people who have been living next to me for well over 30 yrs. I talk to them and genuinely like them. I'll probably going to a local carnival this Friday for the Fire Dept. with one of them.<BR><BR>

djkperj Jun 13th, 2002 10:20 AM

I grew up on a farm in Minnesota then moved to a very large city for 16 years. So I have experienced both. In the city you are anonymous. There are so many people that you don't care about neighbors. On the farm (where I moved back to) you depend on neighbors because they watch out for you and your property. And everybody seems to know everyone else, so you can't afford to be an uncaring person. Its like the difference between going to a large hotel and going to someone's home.

XXX Jun 13th, 2002 10:27 AM

Medium size CT bedroom/blue collar town: 40 years in same house, same street. Small lots.<BR><BR>Socialize? Absolutely not. Wave? No. Say hello? No. Attend wakes & funerals. Absolutely Not! <BR><BR>Very different educational levels, very different travel experiences, very different interests.<BR><BR>Have spent summers in small ME town where everyone socialized & knew everyone else & their business -- hated it.

annie Jun 13th, 2002 10:31 AM

<BR>I grew up in Brooklyn. My mother is still friends with those neighbors even though we moved away. They looked out for each other in an unbelievable way.<BR>I, on the other hand have owned two homes in completely different areas. The first area was just beginning to get an influx of "city people". These people were not friendly at all. If you had not lived there your whole life, they did not talk to you. Two incidents that stick out in my mind were my across the street neighbor thought I was trying to be friendly to "abuse" her two kids AMAZING. The next door neighbor complained that wind chimes in my yard were keeping her up at night and she had to work all day. Like I didn't?? Got rid of the windchimes BTW <BR>Where I live now is vastly different. It is loaded with "city people" and we look out for each other. We say hello, help with yardwork, snow shoveling,kids.<BR>There are a few unfriendly people and you will never change them. That will not stop me from saying hello or waving to them.

The Devil Made Me Jun 13th, 2002 10:49 AM

Stephanie: are your neighbors deaf? just curious.

OMG Jun 13th, 2002 10:55 AM

Very funny,Devil~LOL~<BR>Poor people,wonder what happens when they do something she doesn't like! My God,she doesn't shut up here, can you imagine the mind numbing diatribes they must listen to!!!

x Jun 13th, 2002 10:58 AM

Many of our neighbors socialize and have large holiday dinners. Lots of the women belong to the same Bunco group on our block or the next. Every year for the 4th, the block has a party and pool $$ to do a big display. The day starts with the bicycle parade. Kids work on their bikes the day before. The whole street is blocked off. <BR><BR>The next day the moms in their mini vans are back to speeding up and down the street oblivious to the fact that kids, other than their own, live there.

scarlett Jun 13th, 2002 10:59 AM

What is Bunko?

Groucho Jun 13th, 2002 11:01 AM

I wouldn't associate with anyone who would associate with me.

jojo Jun 13th, 2002 11:04 AM

I've lived in an apartment building in jersey for more than 2 years and can't say I know my "neighbors" too well. Some are friendlier than others, but no one goes out of their way to get to know you. <BR><BR>When I first moved in I would smile and say hi to people, and the majority looked at me like I was crazy. So I gave up trying to be friendly. However I also have nothing in common with the people on my hallway. I work long hours in the city while my neighbors are immigrants with young children who stay home all day. I'm sure if I was like them they would be friendlier.

Remembering Jun 13th, 2002 11:05 AM

I grew up running wild and free with kick the can, ghost in the graveyard, red rover, etc. in a small northwest suburb of Chicago. Now that I have children of my own (in the same town), I am saddened that I never even see kids playing outside anymore! I guess the Computer Age, along with the Play Station generation, comes with a price. IMHO

Jen Jun 13th, 2002 11:06 AM

Once when I was moving OUT of an apartment, one of the other tenants came up to me and intorduced herself because she thought I was moving IN! We'd lived in the same building for 8 months and she didn't recognize me. The building had 5 apartments.

njgirl Jun 13th, 2002 11:08 AM

We lived in a town in NJ for 8 years, the only people that spoke to us were the 80-somethings across the street.<BR>We moved to a new town,the first week there, most of the people on the street had stopped by to welcome us to the neighborhood and have remained friendly for the past 5 years.<BR>Just depends on your town,neighborhood.

kc Jun 13th, 2002 11:20 AM

I live in a small town in Missouri (population about 15,000). Yes, I know my neighbors. They range in age from 40 to 80. Some with kids, some without. <BR>We talk often, our kids play together, we carpool, and we watch out for each other. Last year my son was in an accident and we had to leave with no notice to be with him for several days in the hospital. While we were gone, our neighbors kept our dog, mowed our yard, collected our mail, etc. - all this without us even having to ask.<BR>Being friendly to neighbors is certainly not out of fashion here.

Mike Jun 13th, 2002 11:27 AM

I am also from CT, and in a similar situation to the other poster from CT. We'll wave and smile but that's about it.

x Jun 13th, 2002 11:28 AM

Scarlett: I believe the spelling is Bunco as I originally typed it but I could be mistaken. I point this out only so if you go looking you might find supplies using the correct spelling.<BR><BR>It's a ridiculous dice game of virtually no skill. Groups get together on a monthly basis. It is an opportunity to get together, leave the kids home and drink wine or cocktails and gossip. I've been an alternate a few times and it's fun enough but I can't see spending every month doing this. Most regulars look forward to it very much. Unfortunately the group I've subbed for don't drink enough and say nighty night at 9:00. Hey if I'm goin out I want to have more fun than that!<BR>My sister, on the other hand, had to drop out of her group because they drank too much and after a few rounds of dice they all went off to the bars. While the hubbys thought their wives were gossiping they were really at the bars dancing with other men.

Mary Jun 13th, 2002 11:34 AM

I am so lucky. I live in Chicago (Lincoln Park) and I know most of my neighbors. They are all very friendly and not only will they wave when they walk by, but stop for a minute or two to talk. The neighborhood hosts an annual Antiques Fair and we have at least 4 get-togethers a year.


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