You present the choice as EITHER Waikiki OR not staying on Oahu at all. You are limiting yourself unnecessarily. Waikiki is not the only Oahu neiborhood having hotels. If you want to visit Haunauma Bay, there are several non-touristy neighborhoods where you can stay. For example: the North Shore is beautiful. Manoa is also very nice and VERY non-touristy and non-commercial. Kahala has also been mentioned.

I lived on Oahu for 2 years, and visited Waikiki only once. (Once was enough!) There is no reason to deprive your husband of what he wants to see just because you dislike Waikiki. He can see Haunauma Bay (and a lot of other places) without going anywhere near Waikiki.