Jo

Since so many people like to call names, and since I am personally intrigued by regional expressions, I thought it might be interesting to have people share their favorite simile regarding stunning stupidity.

I grew up in New England hearing people say someone was "as dumb as dirt," or "too stupid to walk upright." How do people describe really stupid people in your part of the country (or world)? What is your favorite version?

xx

the person who started this thread! You are a MORON!!!!

Jo

As I said, there are plenty of people on this forum who love to call names.

[email protected]

I remember a North Carolinian aunt who would say something like, "that boy is about as dumb as a thumb."

Beth

My boss, born and reared in N.C., uses the line "one bubble off plumb." Love it.

Herb

"He doesn't have the sense God promised a goat."
"He doesn't have enough sense to come in out of the rain."
"Dumb as a fence post."
"He's not all there."
"He's a few bricks shy of a load."
"He's not playing with a full deck."
These were heard in North Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, and Alabama.

texasgirl

he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

he's dumber'n a box o' rocks.

he makes an Aggie look like a Rhodes Scholar.

Owen O'Neill

My favorites...

Nice house - nobody home (for the dumb but good-looking)

The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor

One can shy of a six pack

CCHighman

Lighten up, people! This is great for a little harmless levity. I like:

A couple fries short of a happy meal.
As dumb as a bucket of nails.
The lights are on but no one's at home.

AC

Dumb as a brick
Box of Rocks
Not the brightest bulb in the chandelier
Both oars are not in the water

Jurgen

Dumb as the President Elect

Buyer

Jurgen, that supposed to be MY line.

Rex

As dumb as a LIBERAL

Marieem

"A few sandwiches short of a picnic"

Emily

How about "not the brightest bulb on the tree"

april

"He's not the brightest crayon in the box."
"He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer."
"The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top."
"The light's on, but no body is home."
"He doesn't have the sense God gave a flea."
All from those of us in Iowa

Cindy

Hope you'll all settle for a "dumb guy" joke instead of an old saying:

Q: What goes "Vroom. Screech. Vroom. Screech. Vroom. Screech."?

A: A dumb guy going through a flashing yellow light.

Me

Dumbya....er, make that Dubya.

"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program."—St. Charles, Mo., Nov. 2, 2000

"They said, 'You know, this issue doesn't seem to resignate with the people.' And I said, you know something? Whether it resignates or not doesn't matter to me, because I stand for doing what's the right thing, and what the right thing is hearing the voices of people who work."—Portland, Ore., Oct. 31, 2000

"Anyway, after we go out and work our hearts out, after you go out and help us turn out the vote, after we've convinced the good Americans to vote, and while they're at it, pull that old George W. lever, if I'm the one, when I put my hand on the Bible, when I put my hand on the Bible, that day when they swear us in, when I put my hand on the Bible, I will swear to not—to uphold the laws of the land."—Toledo, Ohio, Oct. 27, 2000

"It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It's not only life of babies, but it's life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet."—Arlington Heights, Ill., Oct. 24, 2000

yo!

..... the President - SELECT
Dumb is as dumb does
We have all been had.

Happy Holidays!

Sandi

How about "clever as a clam?" I've also heard "so dumb he had to label his shoes 'left' and 'right'."