Manhattan..Gay Friendly Hotels.
Mar 19th, 2012, 02:57 AM
#1
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Manhattan..Gay Friendly Hotels.
These companion articles appeared in the Times yesterday. Most of the inns/hotels are appropriate for all adults, and several are in the moderate, even budget, price range:
http://travel.nytimes.com/2012/03/18...-been-out.html
New hotel in Hell's Kitchen, convenient to theatre: http://travel.nytimes.com/2012/03/18...tml?ref=travel
http://travel.nytimes.com/2012/03/18...-been-out.html
New hotel in Hell's Kitchen, convenient to theatre: http://travel.nytimes.com/2012/03/18...tml?ref=travel
Mar 19th, 2012, 07:34 AM
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Perhaps I am naive, but why does a hotel need to be "gay friendly"? Why can't 2 men or 2 women just check in and occupy a hotel room? Can they discriminate and not allow 2 same sex people to check into a room? How is that different from my adult daughter and I (also a female) checking into a room?
Mar 19th, 2012, 07:57 AM
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@LBloom: One reason is the more recent example of the B&B owners in England who refuse to rent to same-sex couples. They've been taken to court and are still unapologetic and profess they will not change their views.
I grant that it's not the same thing in NYC, but outside of big cities (and in some entire countries), it's not at all unusual to find hostile management in hotels who won't give "marital beds" to same-sex couples. You might also come across Evangelical Christian hotel and motel managers who do indeed have an axe to grind (as do some customers, to be fair). But some couples prefer to sleep together and don't appreciate it when management suggests they are just being silly. It's not at all the same situation when two same-sex friends are willing to share a double bed to save money. It becomes a point of both comfort and to some degree pride to be able to have the same experience as others without having to feel that one is a second-class citizen.
While I probably would probably never stay in a gay hotel, particularly not one that has a pulse-pounding disco on the ground floor underneath my room, some people (and the hotel in NYC appeals directly to single gay men in particular) like that kind of all-welcoming and open atmosphere. There are also gay hotels in Key West, Fort Lauderdale, Palm Springs, Prague, and Sao Paolo Brazil to name but a few. Some of these are sexually charged, but others aren't. They just offer a completely welcoming environment for (primarily) gay and sometimes lesbian travelers.
I think it's sometimes difficult for people to understand the appeal of specifically-oriented venue when virtually every place in the world is hetero-friendly. A lot of gay people are beyond that now and don't want that kind of ghetto-ized experience since the world is becoming more gay-friendly in general. But if you have been following the news in St. Petersburg, Russia, and several places in Eastern Europe recently, you'll see how the world isn't always so welcoming as one might expect. And it's not at all unusual to find religious front-desk staff who can be rude to same-sex couples when it becomes clear they are not just friends.
I grant that it's not the same thing in NYC, but outside of big cities (and in some entire countries), it's not at all unusual to find hostile management in hotels who won't give "marital beds" to same-sex couples. You might also come across Evangelical Christian hotel and motel managers who do indeed have an axe to grind (as do some customers, to be fair). But some couples prefer to sleep together and don't appreciate it when management suggests they are just being silly. It's not at all the same situation when two same-sex friends are willing to share a double bed to save money. It becomes a point of both comfort and to some degree pride to be able to have the same experience as others without having to feel that one is a second-class citizen.
While I probably would probably never stay in a gay hotel, particularly not one that has a pulse-pounding disco on the ground floor underneath my room, some people (and the hotel in NYC appeals directly to single gay men in particular) like that kind of all-welcoming and open atmosphere. There are also gay hotels in Key West, Fort Lauderdale, Palm Springs, Prague, and Sao Paolo Brazil to name but a few. Some of these are sexually charged, but others aren't. They just offer a completely welcoming environment for (primarily) gay and sometimes lesbian travelers.
I think it's sometimes difficult for people to understand the appeal of specifically-oriented venue when virtually every place in the world is hetero-friendly. A lot of gay people are beyond that now and don't want that kind of ghetto-ized experience since the world is becoming more gay-friendly in general. But if you have been following the news in St. Petersburg, Russia, and several places in Eastern Europe recently, you'll see how the world isn't always so welcoming as one might expect. And it's not at all unusual to find religious front-desk staff who can be rude to same-sex couples when it becomes clear they are not just friends.
Mar 19th, 2012, 09:50 AM
#6
Since very few hetero couple climb all over each other in public I assume the same would be true for gay couples.
I took my daughter on a hiking trip a few years ago. Should the fact that she's a lot younger than me have raised any more eyebrows than had I taken my son on that trip?
Is inappropriate behavior any different for a hetero couple than for a gay couple? What is inappropriate behavior?
How would anybody know if they're a "couple" or just travelling together?
I took my daughter on a hiking trip a few years ago. Should the fact that she's a lot younger than me have raised any more eyebrows than had I taken my son on that trip?
Is inappropriate behavior any different for a hetero couple than for a gay couple? What is inappropriate behavior?
How would anybody know if they're a "couple" or just travelling together?
Mar 19th, 2012, 01:17 PM
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Not all gay hotels have pulse pounding disco. I stayed in a hotel in Tucson that had very loud music that was all hetero.
Sometimes minorities (and those of us who support them) want to patronize their businesses.
Sometimes minorities (and those of us who support them) want to patronize their businesses.
Mar 19th, 2012, 04:18 PM
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My ( female ) partner and I were clearly unwelcome at an inn on Sanibel Island , purportedly a gay friendly place, just two years ago.
How do I know this? The owner was all friendly, had quoted rates and offered to show me rooms until my partner came in. Suddenly all rooms were rented or "unavailable due to renovation"
When traveling we generally consult Purple roofs because we know our business is welcome.
Although we are not great fans of B&B's, if we do stay at one we prefer that there be other gay and lesbian couples there. It is just more comfortable.
How do I know this? The owner was all friendly, had quoted rates and offered to show me rooms until my partner came in. Suddenly all rooms were rented or "unavailable due to renovation"
When traveling we generally consult Purple roofs because we know our business is welcome.
Although we are not great fans of B&B's, if we do stay at one we prefer that there be other gay and lesbian couples there. It is just more comfortable.
Mar 19th, 2012, 05:12 PM
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"Is inappropriate behavior any different for a hetero couple than for a gay couple? What is inappropriate behavior?"
Depends on the individual observing the behavior. Some people don't want to see a gay couple doing anything that a straight couple would do: hold hands, sit close to each other, peck on the cheek, give each other that look, talk/argue like an old married couple, etc...anything that might indicate they are a gay couple instead of just 2 people of the same sex.
"How would anybody know if they're a "couple" or just travelling together?" See above.
Some times gay couples (or singles) just want to go on vacation and get away from everything, including the occasional judgmental person. Hence the reason some might gravitate toward gay-owned or gay-friendly accomodations.
Depends on the individual observing the behavior. Some people don't want to see a gay couple doing anything that a straight couple would do: hold hands, sit close to each other, peck on the cheek, give each other that look, talk/argue like an old married couple, etc...anything that might indicate they are a gay couple instead of just 2 people of the same sex.
"How would anybody know if they're a "couple" or just travelling together?" See above.
Some times gay couples (or singles) just want to go on vacation and get away from everything, including the occasional judgmental person. Hence the reason some might gravitate toward gay-owned or gay-friendly accomodations.
Mar 20th, 2012, 07:34 AM
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Thank you for educating me on this topic. My college age daughter and I travel often and have never had an issue asking for a room or getting 2 double beds. I would not want to be taken for a gay couple, not for the stigma but more because it would make us uncomfortable. It would not occur to me that hotels are discriminating in renting out rooms to same sex couples. I could understand loud music, public displays of affection, etc. which would be unwanted in a hetero couple (at least to me).
Mar 20th, 2012, 09:48 AM
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Not for the stimga - it's nothing but stigma. And I'm sure there are places where gay couples behavingnormally (holding hands, are around shoulder etc) would get looks when a hetereo couple wouldn't.
The post above shows how deep (and unconscious) these feelings can be.
Would you say you woudn't wnat to be taken for Italian? Or Jewish? Or whatever?
The post above shows how deep (and unconscious) these feelings can be.
Would you say you woudn't wnat to be taken for Italian? Or Jewish? Or whatever?
Mar 21st, 2012, 03:22 AM
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OUT NYC best boutique just opened Village also many great places.http://www.huffingtonpost.com/.../ou...-_n_1353115.ht...
Mar 21st, 2012, 05:49 AM
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"I would not want to be taken for a gay couple, not for the stigma but more because it would make us uncomfortable."
Wow, frankly I wish it WERE for the stigma -- which can be real and insulting -- rather than because you are uncomfortable with the thought of being taken for a (GASP!) gay couple. Nothing worse than that, is there?
While it seems the travel world has become more accepting -- I'll admit to numerous embarrassing moments as my life partner and I have checked into hotels over the years. "Oh, there must have been a mistake here, it shows a request for a king bed, but I'll change that to two beds for you." "I'm sorry, we can't rent a room with one bed to two men."
Wow, frankly I wish it WERE for the stigma -- which can be real and insulting -- rather than because you are uncomfortable with the thought of being taken for a (GASP!) gay couple. Nothing worse than that, is there?
While it seems the travel world has become more accepting -- I'll admit to numerous embarrassing moments as my life partner and I have checked into hotels over the years. "Oh, there must have been a mistake here, it shows a request for a king bed, but I'll change that to two beds for you." "I'm sorry, we can't rent a room with one bed to two men."
Mar 26th, 2012, 05:52 AM
#20
Interesting thread. My partner and I (we’re two men -- 55 and 59) have traveled extensively and stayed in a wide variety of lodgings without ever encountering a problem or feeling uncomfortable or unwelcome. It wouldn’t even cross my mind to stay at a gay-friendly or gay hotel in NYC – or any other major U.S. city. I assume they’d all be used to gay couples.
However … when we book lodgings in an intimate setting – such as a B&B or an apartment attached to the owner’s home, I do send an email in advance and to let them know that we’re a male couple—and that we want to be certain there will not be a problem with that. We have invariably gotten very kind responses stating that it’s not an issue.
I’ve been luckier than NeoPatrick. On several occasions we’ve been offered two beds—as if we’d mistakenly booked a king or queen bed, but when we’ve declined being switched to two beds, it was fine. Depending on the vibe I get, I might add, “We’ve been sharing a bed for eighteen years.”
A couple of years ago in Australia we checked into a motel in the Grampians. The very elderly gentleman behind the front desk simply could not seem to grasp that we actually wanted one bed. When we assured him that this was our preference he seemed a bit befuddled—but we certainly felt comfortable.
We once stayed in a Los Angeles gay guesthouse. From the website, we surmised that there was a secluded clothing optional sundeck. Imagine our surprise when breakfast was served by a stark naked man! My clothing is NOT optional--and I'm sure that those in vicinity are quite grateful for this ;-).
For a romantic anniversary trip it can be nice to be in an environment where we don’t have to worry that touching each others’ hand or a peck on the cheek might offend someone. But generally, we choose a hotel—not a “gay” hotel.
We’re leaving for NYC tomorrow—and I’m sure no one will blink when we check in at the Flatotel.
However … when we book lodgings in an intimate setting – such as a B&B or an apartment attached to the owner’s home, I do send an email in advance and to let them know that we’re a male couple—and that we want to be certain there will not be a problem with that. We have invariably gotten very kind responses stating that it’s not an issue.
I’ve been luckier than NeoPatrick. On several occasions we’ve been offered two beds—as if we’d mistakenly booked a king or queen bed, but when we’ve declined being switched to two beds, it was fine. Depending on the vibe I get, I might add, “We’ve been sharing a bed for eighteen years.”
A couple of years ago in Australia we checked into a motel in the Grampians. The very elderly gentleman behind the front desk simply could not seem to grasp that we actually wanted one bed. When we assured him that this was our preference he seemed a bit befuddled—but we certainly felt comfortable.
We once stayed in a Los Angeles gay guesthouse. From the website, we surmised that there was a secluded clothing optional sundeck. Imagine our surprise when breakfast was served by a stark naked man! My clothing is NOT optional--and I'm sure that those in vicinity are quite grateful for this ;-).
For a romantic anniversary trip it can be nice to be in an environment where we don’t have to worry that touching each others’ hand or a peck on the cheek might offend someone. But generally, we choose a hotel—not a “gay” hotel.
We’re leaving for NYC tomorrow—and I’m sure no one will blink when we check in at the Flatotel.
