PDQ

Fellow Fodorites! Just want to alert you to conditions up here. There's a reason NASA can't get any response from its probe -- those horrible people "yearning to be free" have made it all the way up here and they're ruining for everyone. Me, mainly. They're hiding in the canals to throttle any visitors, but NASA won't tell you that because they're afraid no one will want to sit on top of the next shuttle when it takes off.

I wish I were back on earth where there's no crime and no immigrants and police are just off-duty nursery-school teachers who help us get in line for our daily medication.

I'll try to keep writing as long as I can, but they keep sending holographic images of Daisy Duck marching in my bathtub and one of these days, when they figure out I'm trying to tell you the truth, she's going to stamp out the forest fire on my screen saver and I will turn into a large bowl of cole slaw.

Anyone who says I'm nuts isn't the boss of me, and you're another!

M.M.

Who the hell are you calling another?This is your boss PDQ, and if I've told you once I've told you twice that we can't tolerate whistle blowers here in N.A.S.A. How the hell do you expect to get tourist to visit Mars if you tell the universe about the effects that crime is having on our probes of Mars? This is absolutly probably the last warning you will receive,the next time you open your mouth you will be recalled and stationed in Southern Florida.You think you have problems now?

Jeff

I really can't stand these types of posting. Personally, I was planning on spending a nice Millenium weekend on Mars and people like you with your Oliver Stone conpiracy mentality is ruining the only Mars millenium weekend in my lifetime. I was planning on spending the weekend in Boca but I heard that there are too many idiots there. It seems that Mars is no different.

P.S. I love cole slaw

redneck

Hey you blokes. Leave off the guzzling until New Year's eve. Then you can play Y2k glitch personified while you fantasize in a haze.

angel

re: Mars -- "The place is so popular nobody goes there anymore."
- Yogi Berra

PDQ

See I TOLD you! QED! Thank god for this forum, where the truth can be told. The Martian Chronicle won't report what's really happening here, because it sells too many ads to mall-walkers.

You can't stop me Mystery Man, because I know who you are: Leo G. Carroll -- and I'll bet you don't know how I guessed.
And you can't stop me from posting
and posting
and posting
and posting
gee this is fun
and posting . . . .

But just to prove I'm really a nice person who wishes harm to no one, I'll send you a message in my Martian secret code so NASA can't read it: h1a1p1p1y
h2o2l2i2d2a2y2s a3n3d h1a1p1p1y n4e4w4 y5e5a5r!!

M.M.

Ok PDQ, that's it,pack your bag I warned you.Effective as soon as you get around to it you are to hop the next shuttle to southern Florida.Once there,you are to join up with agent AMS at the security booth(next to Starbucks)in the South Aventura Mall and report once a year on the sordid conditions in the Sunshine State.Is that queer agent PDQ ?
Also nitwit you don't have a clue who I really am because I'm not quite sure,I think?

PDQ

How will I know agent AMS?

M.M.

WOW !! That's a loaded question.Bearing in mind that this is a pubic forum(agent secrecy and all that stuff)you could just go to the mall and look for the daffy one(not the duck!),or look for AMS's e mail address elsewhere on this forum and make personal contact and secret arrangements(no I have nothing personal against you).God speed agent PDQ !!

goaway already

This is a "pubic" forum alright--the misspelling applies. Everybody knows that this is another one of those childish monologues from the "persona" who spoils this forum. Fodors' is infinitely patient; the rest of us will read this maybe once and then ignore it as a childish waste of time. Please leave! Try Mars or Florida or the other places you write about in your obvious monologues. We all get it by now. It is tired, and so are we!!

M.M.

Oh lighten up a little "goaway already" geeeezzz.Humor could be catching!!I've seen a lot worse on these forums and if you don't like it DON'T CLICK ON IT !!!!

buddy

Hey speaking for everyone - you are not speaking for me so stop being so presumptuous. I think this thread serves a good purpose by exposing AMS's thread on Florida for the xenophobic crap that it is. All in a humorous way. Keep up the good work folks.

M.M.

Hey Buddy,Buddy I would have gotten to ya a little sooner but I had to look up that xenopo,oh whatever,word ya threw out there to make sure ya wasn't calling me something(I understood crab).Anyway thanks for coming to our defense and seeing this for what it is and no more.Have a good one !!!

JC

I laughed out loud when I read this! Just what I needed to end the day. Hope NASA doesn't kill you or Walt Disney either.

A Martian Simian

Statistics indicate that there has been a significant increase of drive-bys on Mars the past few years, and I don't think it is a particularly safe place for humans. Newspapers here indicate it is safe for tourists -- DON'T BELIEVE IT! There have been objects and various loose pieces falling from the sky! Does anyone know if the Consulate has released any tourist warnings yet? I tried looking at the CIA fact page on Mars, but that info is over ten years old.

My advice for tourists -- STAY AWAY FROM MARS, moons are safer.

Anyone want to buy a slightly used space probe? Only used one time, never raced, a good do-it-yourself project.

FODOR'S -- when are we going to get our own page?

P.S. I have not used my real e-mail address, because you nimrods would completely misuse it.

Jedgar

I think PDQ has rendered a real service to those of us who frequent the Martian quadrant. But he doesn't go far enough. You bleeding hearts probably think Disney died of natural causes. It's no coincidence that he, Werner von Braun, and Generalissimo Franco all died in the same half of the century. If we don't quarantine all those people -- I'm not a racist, I just mean anyone who speaks Latin -- if we continue to let them run around free, Mars will be unfit for human consumption. You indulgent sanity-chauvinists make me sick sick sick.

bebe

I, for one, have boycotted Mars until they have safe and decent hotels without asbestos. Also, I was recently looking at photos of that face on Mars... it doesn't look very friendly.

Spanish Inquisition

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

But here we are, on Mars, and how about a little gratitude for luring a few of your criminally insane up here to torture them with race, chemical, media, and food wars!??!

PDQ

Okay, it's time to 'fess up. I'm really Tony Clifton. You people are all idiots. There's no crime on Mars. You'll believe anything. Jingle bells.....

Paul

Oh my god!! They got PDQ. He tried to warn us all and now he is acting like he is an obnoxious turncoat. Don't believe that he could be that obnoxious. They got him.