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-   -   Behavior at the movies, etc. (https://www.fodors.com/community/united-states/behavior-at-the-movies-etc-131743/)

Maggie Jun 22nd, 2001 04:01 PM

Behavior at the movies, etc.
 
Imagine that you arrive at the theatre (movie, play, concert) and there is general seating. You select your seat in light of all known factors: height of person in front, angle, distance from stage, etc. <BR> <BR>Then, someone else comes in and asks you to move a couple of seats in one direction or another so that their party can be seated together. Of course, had they arrived earlier, they would have had their pick of seating, just like you did. And of course, there are plenty of seats where they could sit together, just not very good ones, say, off to the side or too close to the front. <BR> <BR>Is it rude to refuse to move under these conditions? Is it rude to ask someone to move under these conditions? <BR> <BR>And while I'm on the subject, is it rude to save seats? Some people give you the evil eye if you do this.

confused Jun 22nd, 2001 04:19 PM

And this is related to travel? Oh I get it...traveling from one seat to the other? Sorry for my confusion.

Joe Jun 22nd, 2001 07:07 PM

Is it rude/ <BR>Depends on the specific situation IMO. <BR>If you're at some special type of performance (live music, etc) and you've carefully selected your seats somehow, and someone asks you to move, I'd just explain that you've selected those seats for the reason that you did (so the person doesn't think you're just being difficult and obnoxious). <BR>If it's a simple movie, it's hard to justify being unwilling to move a couple seats over.

xx Jun 23rd, 2001 06:46 AM

Maggie-Don't sweat the small stuff!

meetoo Jun 23rd, 2001 10:36 AM

I've had this happen to me. Where we arrive early, select the seating we prefer, wait a long time for the movie to start and when the lights go down have someone ask us to move over. Since it's so expensive to go to the movies for a family I just say in a really friendly voice that we really like where we're sitting. I know peopel like to sit together, that's why I arrive early. If my kids are not with me and the seats a few down are just as good I'll move. I do think it's incredibly rude to ask people to move after the movie has begun.

Tony Hughes Jun 25th, 2001 04:27 AM

I was surprised to find the American audience much like the British when it came to seating etiquette.<BR><BR>I was in Jacksonville, NC and the place was three-quarters full with mainly military guys from the local base. To show the world they weren't homosexual, they would all sit one seat away from their friend, thus halving the capacity of the theater. Asking them to move up elicited puffed cheeks and much grumbling. Silly sods.

Jeannie Jun 25th, 2001 10:43 AM

I don't think it is rude to ASK, but you don't have to move. It's similar to seating at weddings. Somepeople arrive early enough to sit on the aisle so they can get a better view of the wedding party. I wouldn't move down if asked, but I see no harm in asking.

newyorker Jun 27th, 2001 01:08 PM

I definitely feel you have no obligation whatsoever to move. Just do it if you feel like it. I would just say, no, sorry, I really want to sit right here. To me it's analogous to being willing to give up your table at a restaurant to somebody who got there after you did--in most instances you wouldn't.

Owen O'Neill Jun 27th, 2001 07:04 PM

I agree that one has no obligation to move. I was a bit miffed when I went to the movies in north Jersey, close to where I live. There were two adjacent seats open and a leather jacket was sitting on one of them (the jacket appeared to belong to the man sitting in the seat next to it. I aksed if the seat was open and he very haughtily assured that "it's being saved". What he neglected to mention was that he was saving it FOR HIS JACKET! We ended up with marginal seats near the wall and I had to work at not tossing off a sarcastic remark when we left (e.g. "I hope ytour jacket enjoyed the movie!).

Jim Jun 28th, 2001 03:39 AM

I find that young blacks of both sexes jabber throughout any movie.

xxxxx Jun 28th, 2001 03:47 AM

The British 'tradition' of jumping to their feet immediately the credits roll &amp; storming to the nearest exit is a real pisser.

Ann Jun 28th, 2001 04:30 AM

I love going to the movies in the UK because you never have to leave for the cinema before the published start time for the movie. You're assured of at least 15 minutes of commercials.<BR><BR>And why is it that men can't sit next to each other? I see this all of the time. Women don't have the same hang up.

L Jun 28th, 2001 06:30 AM

Whoever suggested men must sit apart is obviously a Marine or recent HS graduate. Anyway, doesn't it make sense to sit next to each other if you want to share popcorn and soda, not to mention holding hands? Have your brain cell synapses unsnapped? Ciao

Oaktown Traveler Jun 28th, 2001 07:21 AM

Jim:<BR><BR>Isn't it dark in the movies?<BR>How would you know the race of someone even if you could see them?<BR><BR>You are not planning on going to the beach anytime soon are you?<BR><BR>Oaktown

DCMom Jun 28th, 2001 08:05 AM

Oh, chill Oaktown. I don't go to movies close to home because I don't consider it a party time as my kids and some older-should-know-better do. I take metro to the suburbs where I can see a movie in peace. That's not a guarantee though. Some suburban kids and not all black either "wannabe" street.

Karen Jun 28th, 2001 10:02 AM

Jim...I would never have thought to write that, but I have been absolutely appalled at this behavior 3 times in the last year at my favorite theater!<BR>Young black females yammering throughout the movie! Running commentary! Squealing and talking like they were at a football game!<BR><BR>And GIVE ME A BREAK "Oaktown Traveler" that you can't tell the some people's race by their vocalization. I appreciate your attempt at being PC, but where I live there's no problem. The words are different, let alone the way they're pronounced, etc. And OF COURSE when someone is so intensely irritating you have to wait until the lights go up to see just what such an ignoramus looks like.

RButler Jun 28th, 2001 10:54 AM

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

Whippersnapper Jun 28th, 2001 11:14 AM

No, the worst people at the movies are senior citizens. I don't know how many times I've been at the movies to have two seniors nearby talking loudly. One of them is hard of hearing, so he/she keeps saying "What?" The other answers loudly enough for the first to hear.<BR><BR>Then there's the problem that the seniors sometimes don't "get" the movie, so they have to have detailed discussion about it. This happened in "Traffic," which is about the drug sub-culture. The seniors behind me knew nothing about the subject matter, so everything that happened was news to them, and they had to discuss it. Loudly.

Cindy Jun 28th, 2001 11:16 AM

Well, I do have one pet peeve. I am a credit reader. When the film is over, I sit and listen to the music and reflect on the film. Often, there's a character actor I can't quite place, and I want to know who it was.<BR><BR>Unfortunately, lots of people jump up to leave (which is fine), but sometimes they get mesmerized and just stand there right in front of me. Either leave or stay, but don't block the screen, please.

Oaktown Traveler Jun 28th, 2001 10:31 PM

DC MOM and Karen:<BR><BR>Thanks!<BR><BR>Now why don't you two talk amongst yourselves from now on... Seems like Karen UNDERSTANDS whatever DC Mom was attempting to say in her "jabbering" that flew completely over my dumb head.<BR><BR>So glad that you two told all of us "ignoramuses" that white, asian, hispanic, native american, irish, scottish, german, jewish and all others NEVER talk like or act like they are at a football game while at a movie.<BR><BR>Whew! Your knowledge is silencing...<BR>No more jabbering from me. I am in awe!<BR><BR>Oaktown


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