Barefoot in Hawai'i
 

I need help! I go through this problem every year. Relatives and friends of my wife come visiting from the Mainland. That I do not mind. But! They come thromping through my livingroom and kitchen floor with their shoes on! In most Hawai'i homes, that's a No! No! My wife refuses to tell them 'cause she's afraid of offending them. Shoes are usually lined up at the doorway entrance. We (my wife and I) are always in our bare feet in the house. But, some of these people are clueless! I'm going mad over this cultural (and hygienic) problem. Any suggestions out there? Mahalo!

Yeah, ask them to take their shoes off.

Just tell them! If you ask politely they won't be offended. I don't like dirty floors either. I never let people wear their shoes in my house....

I always tell them in the car as we pull up to the house, then remind them each time they forget. Never had a guest offended enough to leave. (DRAT!)Actually, most of my friends and family find it a quaint custom and are happy to go along with it. <BR>If they need a more visual reminder, put every slipper and shoe in the home out on the porch, so there is no way they can get in without dodging them. In addition, have lots of extra cheap rubber slippers and encourage them to borrow. Easy on,easy off. ;-)

The idea about keeping all your footwear in one place out front so they can visually take a hint is a good idea. Perhaps you could print out an amusing sign of some sort too, "Take 'em off or die" for instance. Still, you will come across the incredibly stupid in which case you just have to be vocal about it.

I have a slightly different take on this and would welcome some advice about it. I completely understand why people don't want guests tracking in in their shoes. When I was in Malaysia, it was explained to me that it would be very offensive to wear my shoes in people's homes. I have a problem, though - I wear prescription orthotics which are tucked into my shoes. I can barely walk without them. I'm OK for a little while, but then my feet become extremely painful and my ankles swell badly. It takes quite a while for the pain to go away. I don't think it's OK to ask for special consideration (and thus far, I haven't) - but I'm wondering if anybody can offer a solution.

Very simple.. just ask politely as you greet them at the door.. but also provide slippers in one size fits big and wide for your guests!<BR><BR>Some maybe embarrassed with holes in their socks.. or how their feet look. In our Japanese house.. haha.. slippers that have covered toes work best!<BR><BR>It's OK.. to ask.. it is your house!<BR>

Mahalo for all the good suggestions! Showed them to my wife and she's softening...or I should say hardening on this approach to the shoe problem. <BR>S'funny, but when I lived on the Mainland, the idea of living indoors with shoes on never affected me. Since living in Hawai'i, I've gone 180 degrees the opposite direction. I'm also going to invest in a sign to place near my entrance...something funny and inoffensive. Aloha!

I have seen those cute little signs that say "Mahalo for removing your shoes" that you can place by the front door. I believe there are welcome mats that say the same. Usually I tell my guests firmly that they need to remove their shoes. No softness on my part!!

To many people footwear is an important part of their ensemble.To ask a guest to remove part of their clothing upon entering your house seems rude to me.<BR>If you are choosing to entertain in this country you should probably adhere to the norms of social interaction.<BR>Certainly a family member or close friend could be asked to comply with your wishes but a party guest should be greeted with hospitality.<BR>Perhaps you could aquire some durable flooring that would handle normal shoe traffic.

Imelda, it's not durability that's at issue, it's dirt. In colder climates, we expect guests to remove their hats and coats; it's part of Hawaiian culture to remove one's shoes in private homes. Visitors should go along with local mores.

Imelda, I didn't realize that the entire country conformed to one norm of social interaction. Where have I been?!

I agree with the others...you can simply say, "Oh here's a pair of slippers", and they will get the hint. I do it to my husband's friends/colleagues who he invites over. No one has ever taken offense (I think!).<BR><BR>Cindy, get a pair of orthotic insoles and wear them with slippers. You can shop when you're back at home to get just the right type of slippers/light shoes that would work with your insoles. <BR><BR>Take them with you when travelling to places that you suspect has a "shoeless" policy (e.g., Malaysia, HK, Japan). Just keep the pair tucked in your handbag and pull them out when you visit. Voila!

Yes Whoa, where have you been?In nearly forty years of life on the mainland I have visited hundreds if not thousands of people in their private homes.<BR>Only one time out of those thousands have I been asked to remove my shoes( at the home of A Japanese family housesitting for a friend).<BR>Dear Who, there are standards of social interaction in this country even if you don't realize it.

Wow Imelda you must get around or are you in the Kirby vacuum cleaners sales business.

I am not a Kirby salesman, those people are way to pushy.I have entered people's home for a competely honest and straightforward purpose.<BR>You know every home could be enhanced by a truly fine set of encyclpedias!<BR>Do you have any school age children?

Just a couple, but I'm not teaching them to read. We live in Ca so they'll be able to pass the tests just fine even though they don't read.

It appears that removing shoes is as much a cultural "thing" in Hawaii as in Japan. The way I've seen it handled a few times is the host or hostess explaining gently that removing one's shoes is a local tradition. I've never seen anyone take offense--most seem to find it charming.

interesting post! even here in fairfield county CT some families with small children leave their shoes at the door or mud room. defenitely helps keep things clean. may even introduce it to my house. <BR><BR>imelda, the trend is sweeping the country. look out.

Shoeless, when visitors are coming to my house for the first time, I usually say, "I hope you don't mind, but we don't wear shoes in our house." I like to give them some advance warning so they don't wear boots laced up to the knee! Most of them say that they feel more comfortable without shoes, anyway. And Melissa, I also have one of those little "Mahalo for removing your shoes" signs in the living room, just as a reminder.