Bald Head is no more elitist than a BUNCH of other places. That wasn't part of the question.
Getting to Bald Head and getting to your house can be a nightmare. Make it easy. Go somewhere where you can drive up to your house with a car.
Depending on the time of year, "too crowded" can be problematic.
I might suggest Litchfield by the Sea at Pawley's as a good choice.

Hi: Just got back from Topsail. It is definitely a "beach only" vacation. Not much around and restaurants are very basic stuff. But, the advantage is that you are staying on the ocean for much cheaper rates than a more developed vacation spot. I found we were getting a little stir crazy after 5 or 6 days of beach, pool, beach, pool... Different strokes, I guess.

Hotels on Emerald Isle ?

Never been to Bald Head, but we liked Emerald Isle so much, we moved there!

The 2 main rental agencies at EI are Emerald Isle Realty and Bluewater GMAC. A movie theater, multiple restaurants (we like Tortugas and Flipperz), mini-golf,& a waterslide are options when you need a break from the beach. You can choose from a variety of rentals (multi-family homes, condos, single-family homes); some have pools and tennis on-site.

One downside is the lack of hotels- stayed at the Islander 2 years ago & would not recommend it to others, but partial week rentals are a possibility at certain times of the year.