Bah humbug!!
 

This is the first time that I haven't used my real name on Fodors in the 6 plus years that I have looked at this board.I would like to remain anonymous in my seething rage, I guess....<BR><BR>I work 60 hours a week at my job, travelling across this great country. This week, I am off for these 3 days prior to Christmas. I have spent this time very poorly.....running around getting gifts, paper, cards and a million other things.Haven't had a minute to stop. Today, I have already stopped at the post office and the grocery store and it's barely 9AM. I still have to clean the house and make stuffing from scratch for a 20 pound turkey that's getting heavier by the minute, cook a cheesecake, and wash all of my china. Enough!!<BR><BR>Next year, I am removing myself from this chaos....you will find me on the beach somewhere....my tree will be a conch shell and my turkey will be a memory!! I will be sure to take the time for a nice quiet church service and to reflect on my blessings.<BR><BR>Merry Christmas to all and here's hoping my spirits are lifted by tomorrow!

Okay Stressed out (ignoring the very rude first reply person) hope you have a happy and stress free Christmas - stay cool!

Well, you've been sucked into the retailers' great American Christmas machine. Little by little over the past 50 years retailers have been able to create the sense in people that they have to buy oodles of gifts, wrap each one uniquely, have the prefect tree with varied and expensive doodads, fill the house with festive ornamentation, cover the house/yard with lights/decorations whip together the stupendous 5 course meal, etc etc etc.<BR><BR>Too many people have been brainwashed.<BR>(And whatever happened to the real reason Christmas was first celebrated? Not politically correct to even mention that these days).<BR><BR>So what's the antidote?<BR>You mentioned it. Go on vacation for Christmas. Allows you to unwind, enjoy the season and let someone else do all the fussing.<BR>Hope it works out for you next year.<BR><BR>(Switzerland is beautiful at Christmas. But so is Hawaii).

Dear Stressed,<BR><BR>As they say on the commercial........<BR>Calgon, take me away. lol<BR><BR>Have a wonderful Christmas !!!

Eric, you ought to be ashamed of yourself posting such nonsense during this the season of good will and love. Shame on you! I will pray that you get some compassion for your fellow man.<BR><BR>To Stressed Out-Time to downsize and yes, take that vacation. Your friends and family will be just fine. Happy Holidays!

Where is the Fodors censor when we need him or her??

Stressed out--might I suggest Costa Rica for next year's Christmas? I was there up until Christmas eve one year and the lack of stress was incredible. The holiday season is very low key, and you can buy all your gifts easily (souveneirs!).

Thank you, Fodors.<BR><BR>Stressed out, I promise, tomorrow won't seem as bad.

Try Stove Top stuffing, it really doesn't taste bad and it's a snap to make. You might also try those turkey breasts instead of a whole turkey -- only white meat, no bones, no mess. Simplify or give it up, as you said!

To Stressed Out:<BR><BR> Relax, enjoy today and have a very Merry Christmas. May we join you on the beach next Christmas? Sure sounds inviting!<BR>ja

A vacation away may be your style, and that's just fine. But take it from someone who feeds about 40 people each holiday. Traditions do count. Cut out the postman, the presents and all the commercial hogwash and forget about what "other people think." You should have seen the faces the first year I gave everyone letters I wrote from my heart instead of anything bought from a store- especially my brother the homicide detective. It did take about 4 or 5 years, but the traditions we do have now are rock bottom and we have FUN! If it's not fun to you, don't do it.<BR><BR>I wish I could help you a bit and show you how to cook a turkey with absolutely no fuss- I've got it down to a science. But regardless, don't do cheesecake or anything else you don't enjoy doing. Buy it out, or go very simple. If you have a spouse, children, or grandchildren it is not the cheesecake etc. they will remember but how YOU related to them. Put on some music and relax with a happy song, it might help immensely. <BR><BR>I don't do Christmas cards etc. either- and found that friends actually CALL and talk to you. It's much better. And if not, I'll call them sometime in January.

Thanks everyone. I think I've made it. Almost cracked this morning when hubby decided to clean out the kitchen closet and dropped potting soil all over my clean floor!!! He's currently banned from the kitchen.<BR>Traditions are important....but, so is my sanity.Next Christmas, I'm thinking Austria or some nice warm beach....<BR>Hope everyone has a great day !!!!

The is a remedy for the Christmas blues....pills and booze! <BR><BR>Sec-on-al<BR>is com-ing<BR>to town.

No John, the remedy isn't booze and pills. That makes it worse.<BR><BR>Stressed-Have you thought about having a pot luck? Everyone brings something so you don't have to spend all your time cooking. I also agree with Jeannette. Cut out the cards and the gifts. I made cookies/fudge for a lot of people this year and it meant more to them than any store bought gift especially those who work alot and can't bake. <BR><BR>Saw this in the newspaper this morning and I will pass it on..<BR>"It's not your job or my job to make Christmas perfect. God already did that." Merry Christmas.

next-year advice from a pro:<BR><BR>#1. if you need to cook a 20-lb. turkey, there must be lots of people coming to eat. give each family member and/or grandparents, guests jobs or food to bring. use impeccably lovely paper plates. also use your head to simplify in other ways. <BR><BR>#2. if you are working 60 hours a week and traveling, why are you cooking all this stuff??? eat out xmas day or day before or whenever. why do you have to do everything and from scratch yet? what is your goal? enjoying life or trying to be martha stewart?<BR> <BR>#3. pick up xmas gifts throughout the year on your travels. have them gift wrapped. or draw names.<BR><BR>your family and friends will love the new you next year. you will not have to escape to a beach (more traveling).<BR><BR>

Stressed-Here's some suggestions for next year.... <BR><BR>Buy your turkey/ham/roast beef dinner from your local supermarket deli. All the major supermarkets sell dinners big enough to feed a crowd, complete with all the trimmings. All you have to do is heat and serve. We did this last year and it was surprisingly good.<BR><BR>Ditch the China for sturdy, paper plates.<BR><BR>Buy and wrap presents all year. When you see something someone in your family might like, buy it and save it.<BR><BR>Hire a cleaning service to clean your house.<BR><BR>Have your guests bring dessert or if you don't want to buy the dinner, do a potluck.<BR><BR>Downsize your card list.<BR><BR>And lastly, make time for yourself. Get a massage, pedicure or facial, put on some happy music, soak in the tub or take a long walk. Schedule time for yourself just like you do an appointment, that way you will do it. <BR><BR>Cheers and Happy New Year!<BR><BR><BR>

Dear Stressed:<BR><BR> Here is what I suggest. Now that Christmas is over, take some time to ask yourself what about the holiday really matters to you, and allow yourself the freedom of a true answer.<BR>It's fine if the answer is "nothing," it's fine if it is "setting the table with my Christmas dishes," it's fine if it is "seeing as many people as possible," it's fine if it is "getting some rest at the end of the fall."<BR><BR> Whatever it is I suggest you then make a plan for next year that allows you to have the aspects you WANT to have of this season, and omit as much of the rest as possible. To me this is a somewhat spiritual exercise and worth doing.<BR><BR> And--best wishes for the rest of the holidays this year. <BR><BR> <BR><BR> Whatev

dear stressed out there is no substitutions for family or paradise you simply must pick your poison. I like family at the holidays, paradise in August.<BR><BR>Totally relate to your story. Only add a few sharp words that I wish were spent else where. ... like in my sleep :):). <BR>

I also can totally sympathize with your position as I feel the same way. My family is very laid back about the holidays (go out to eat for Thanksgiving and Christmas) draw names and buy only one gift etc. My husband's family on the other hand is like that of the Christmas police: everything must be homemade to eat (I mean I am terrible iof I even use frozen or canned veggies to make a casserole!), must get together on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day both no matter what, we are not supposed to stay a t a otel but stay at their houose and participate in all the traditions like staying up late Christmas Eve making cookies and fudge, must buy presents for EVRYONE including extended family aunts uncles cousins, cousins children etc.(and I don't mean small gifts either these people spend upwards of $50 on EVERYBODY even people they only see once a year!) We go through this every year and every year I beg my husband to scale back but this is the way it was always done in his family and we get a huge guilt trip from his mother so we continue. I too am thinking about a week long caribbean cruise next year over Christmas. I just wonder if we are not there, will all these people still send us cards and get us gifts? If so, I am going to still feel obligated to do the same even if a I take a vacation!

You are screwed that is just the hand you have been delt. Change things and you will have the alienation your husband to contend with or the alienation he might feel from his family OR OR OR well let's not talk about it. You are going to bake those casseroles with fresh vegitables and stir that 1am fudge. LOL...<BR><BR>The fudge part sounds nice. Sounds like a christmas at Hansel and Gretels gingerbread house. LOL again good luck

To: Stressed Out<BR><BR>First Corinthians 13, Christmas Version<BR><BR> If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another decorator.<BR><BR> If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another cook.<BR><BR> If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing.<BR><BR> If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir's cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.<BR><BR> Love stops the cooking to hug the child.<BR><BR> Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband.<BR><BR> Love is kind, though harried and tired.<BR><BR> Love doesn't envy another's home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.<BR><BR> Love doesn't yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way.<BR><BR> Love doesn't give only to those who are able to give in return but rejoices in giving to those who can't.<BR><BR> Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.<BR><BR> Love never fails.<BR><BR> Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust.<BR><BR> But giving the gift of LOVE will endure.<BR><BR> <BR><BR>Merry Christmas <BR><BR> <BR><BR>

sss,<BR><BR>How utterly beautiful. Well said.

Paul-Thank you, thank you, so well said and so neccesary to say at this time,unfortunately..I do not understand the mentality of people complaining about being with their relatives etc at this time of year, especially this year..Thank you~M

Ultimately, Christmas is a religious holiday. Use the time to contemplate your spiritual values. <BR>All the material trappings is self imposed.

Dear Stressed Out, I can really offer no advice, but just want you to know that I understand.<BR>This year, I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to live up to my own expectations.<BR>I am only in my 40's, but I can remember when we didn't decorate until the second week in December. Now, people decorate Thanksgiving weekend, and not just a few outdorr lights and a tree. People have all these nick-nacks inside as well.<BR>We rush around to Christmas parties until we are exhausted.Sunday School, office, social clubs, civic clubs, business associates and friends all have parties. Make lists of people to give gifts to and send out Christmas cards. I want to get a little gift for my mailman, the housekeeper, my secretary, my boss, my newspaper deliverer, and other clerical staff who are so helpful throughout the year. Try to find a nice gift and wrap it for my parents, brothers, their wives, grown nephews. Make a pies, casseroles, and load gifts into car and drive 350 miles to spend two nights with family. I appreciate that my sister in law goes to a lot of trouble for the family, and I am relieved that I don't have to host the family. We rush and rush and it's all so, I don't know, about rushing. I know this is rambling, but i am just burned out. i loved being with my family, and they aren't difficult, it's just the demands I place on myself each year.

And, my favorite radio station began an all Christmas music format the week BEFORE Thanksgiving.

You must read the new John Grisham book... Skipping Christmas, it is an enjoyable, quick read

Ummm.... X-mas thread?

Thanks for topping Faina, or I would never have read &quot;Paul's&quot; post which is a timely reminder.

Paul knows what Christmas is.

I don't know who Paul is but I am sure glad this thread was pulled up and I was able to read his post. Thank you Paul, whoever you are and wherever you are. And thank you Faina for bringing this thread to the top.

Thanks Paul for those wonderful thoughts, I would like to read that to my Sunday School class tomorrow. Most everyone had good suggestions for de-stressing the Christmas season. Funny how we are all so busy this time of year, but here we sit reading the Fodors boards! Merry Christmas to all!

So nice to read again.

Thanks for bringing it up.

I'm the Jeanette in the '01 post and I remember Paul's post- because I printed it out.

The sister-in-law is still angry about my cutting out the extended presents. I'm still happy, serene, and enjoying the Christmas celebration with 5 grandchildren now.

Take Paul's post to heart and if you experience the displeasure of another family or individual, remember what Christ's answer was. More love, and turning the other cheek.

If I wouldn't resort to becoming a blubbering fool, I would ask to read this tomorrow at our Sunday School's annual Christmas program.

Beautiful, Paul.

Hi Stressed ,
Stove top dressing is fine. I jazz mine up with sausage and jicama finely diced. Our children are grown and gone , all over the country. We send them gift cards to restaurants and checks so that they can buy the grandchildren what they need. This works for us. No wrapping , no exchanging , no stress. We generally either go on a cruise or to dinner with friends of like ilk.

Just my opinion, but the stress doesn't necessarily come from the amount of stuff you try to do, but rather the way you feel about it. Trying to do just the stuff YOU enjoy, not what is &quot;expected,&quot; is what helps with stress.

I personally like to feel festive at Christmas, and have/do things I might not necessarly attempt at other times of year. When my children were young and my job more demanding, I tried the &quot;Christas away&quot; path, but the children always say, &quot;that was nice Mom, but next year let's stay home,&quot; no matter how glamorous the destination. But we have very low-key traditions now, like the candlelight service on Christmas Eve, mimosas and coffee cake while we open gifts, and then maybe going out to a new movie on Christmas Day.

&quot;stress doesn't necessarily come from the amount of stuff you try to do, but rather the way you feel about it&quot;

So true! and what a challenging lesson that is to learn, at least for me.... I'm about half way there ;-)

And remembver that true friends are God's apology for bad relatives!

Thanks for bringing back this thread. So good for this week before Christmas.

OK, maybe I'm off track, but &quot;Paul&quot; wrote this post in 2001, when you could use any ole name and e-mail without registering.

I thought &quot;Paul&quot; was writing as the original author of 1 Corinthians 13, but bringing us the updated Christmas version. I'd be happy to hear more from him anytime. :)