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Badly Behaved Children (and their parents!)--what do you do?

Badly Behaved Children (and their parents!)--what do you do?

Old Jun 30th, 2000, 10:55 AM
  #101  
anon
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That $400K in the Maryland suburbs is in a close-in suburb of DC. My brother-in-law decided that it was important not to commute more than 30 minutes to his demanding job with long hours so he could spend more time with his kids (his wife, incidentally, stays at home); good public schools are also important. Further out suburbs in Maryland mean a hellacious commute, but housing costs are marginally cheaper (but schools are not as good). Easy choices, huh?
 
Old Jun 30th, 2000, 11:17 AM
  #102  
Michele
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I was going to by-pass this thread, but the comments by "Wild Honey" were just too much for me.

I am an only child, and both of my parents worked full-time my entire life. Most people such as "Wild Honey" look at this and automatically think, "spoiled brat". Sorry, you would be wrong.

My parents both came from large families who "sacrificed". My father decided he enjoyed the comforts of life - newer home, new cars, regular vacations. These were things he never experienced as a child. Also, such things as going out to nice restaurants, seeing plays, experiencing cultural activities. He and my mother determined that I would know these things and enjoy them. However, I was raised as though I was one of 7 children - I was NEVER allowed to be whiny, ALWAYS had to be respectful of those older than me, ALWAYS taught to "think about the other guy". I was NEVER allowed to kick a seat in front of me, talk out loud in a movie theater, run wild anywhere but in a park (maybe), or touch other people's property. Was I a wonderful, no-fault kid? Heck no - but I wasn't allowed to get away with much. Oh, and trips to ANY fast food restaurant were few and far between. (Dad HATED them and thought they were a waste of time and money)

My discipline, teaching, socialization, nuturing, and caring ALL came from my parents. And you know what else? So did my independence. People I know who were raised in households where mommy was always there to handle "emergencies" grew up having to depend on others. I learned to take care of myself. Today that translates into my being able to travel anywhere in the world I want to, solo, without fear.

And, just so you know, my parents did this in the '60s when leaving your child in daycare was (almost) equivalent to child abuse.

Yes, maybe my parents might have been able to "get by" on one salary. But they didn't - it was their choice. Do I feel as though I was neglected and pushed away? Hardly! (said with a hardy laugh!) I ALWAYS knew that my wellbeing came first in my parents eyes. They may not have given me every little thing my heart desired, but they gave me the greatest gifts a parent can give a child - their values, their caring, their encouragment, and their love.

(Oh, and when I was older and got sick, mommy didn't have to stay home with me then, either. She knew I had the sense to know how to handle having a simple cold or flu without crying for "mommy" all the time)

Enjoy your time with your kids. But don't condemn others for the decisions they make with theirs - it's really NOT your place to do so!
 
Old Jun 30th, 2000, 11:19 AM
  #103  
Elisa
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Obviously you don't know that much about the metro DC housing market. You can get a beautiful single family house in northern montgomery county for $225,000 or so, or try northern virginia. There aren't that many people who can afford a $400k house. But good for you, your wife stays home. Hey, if you can afford the house more power to you, but there are other cheaper alternatives.
 
Old Jun 30th, 2000, 11:44 AM
  #104  
Greg
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Michele:

Thank-you for providing such a reasoned, informed response. And thank you for providing evidence that it's the infusion of values and parenting by example, not simply "quality time" (whatever that is), that influences another's life.
 
Old Jun 30th, 2000, 11:56 AM
  #105  
Granny
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If you can't afford a house in a particular area--MOVE! There are lots of smaller communities and medium size cities in this great country of ours where housing is affordable and jobs are plenty. Most of the people I know who are working are doing so so they can afford the luxuries like hot tubs, European vacations, SUV's and bigger more expensive homes to impress their friends and relatives! PBS did a show a while back on the dangers of "Affluenza." Basically the show stated that we Americans have too much stuff, spend too much, ruin the enviroment by all this stuff etc. Look at all the garage sales people are having to get rid of stuff, storage lockers that are springing up to hold our stuff etc. Look at all the stuff you have in your own house that you bought because it was the latest and greatest and now it sits there collecting dust! We are truly spoiled and our kids are suffering because of it! Our kids are getting fatter, less respectful, shooting each other etc. Mothers are working 40+ hours a week, just to pay the mortgage on the big, expensive house to impress everyone. I really think this country needs to get a clue! People in Africa and other countries are STARVING and we throw away food. Diseases are running rampant and people don't have water! Think about this, when you die how do you want to be remembered? As the Mom who was so busy working to buy more useless stuff she couldn't enjoy the simple pleasures like spending time with her kids, going to the park, running barefoot in the grass. We only have one go around in this life! Make the most of it! In the end, the only thing that is important is our family and how we treated them.
 
Old Jun 30th, 2000, 12:16 PM
  #106  
Mr.WildHoney
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Help me, for the love of God, please help me!

My wife has completely lost it. She has decided that she isn't going to work, so she is constantly busting my hump to make more money. And all the while, she is spending her days flaming everyone in a travel lounge while I am slaving away at this boring, life-draining, pathetic little job she made me take. A travel lounge, can you believe that? We don't even travel, for heaven's sake!

Oh sure, I had dreams once. I wanted to be a schoolteacher so that I could be a positive influence on children. If I could just make a difference in the education of one child, that would make my life worth living. Maybe one of my students would win the Nobel Prize, all because of me.

But noooooo. WildHoney decided I didn't make enough money as a schoolteacher, so that wasn't good enough, so now I am chained to my desk doing pointless work for my pointless boss. She won't admit it, but I sure would like a vacation now and then. And some savings. And I'd like to get out of this dump that she won't clean up because of her internet addiction. Nice suburban community my behind!

But no, that will never happen because my wishes mean nothing around here. I have to work so hard that the kids barely know me. Our oldest son Noach is totally bent, and if I have to listen to the two of them fight all the time about who gets to go on the computer and start trouble . . . well, you just might read about it in the papers. So don't you let her tell you that our lives are perfect, that everyone else is a bad parent, and anyone who disagrees with her is an idiot. I know better.
 
Old Jun 30th, 2000, 12:19 PM
  #107  
Dawn
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Was going to sit this one out, but Granny you really hit the nail on the head!!!
 
Old Jun 30th, 2000, 12:19 PM
  #108  
FodorsPlease
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And you wonder why Fodor's asks the question if the travel lounge should be monitored???
 
Old Jun 30th, 2000, 12:25 PM
  #109  
workin' girl
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Excuse me while I laugh my *** off at WildHoney. Quote: "I don't worry about finding a job because I have confidence and self-esteem." This is 2000, Honey.
 
Old Jun 30th, 2000, 01:12 PM
  #110  
HadIt
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ENOUGH!!! This has really turned into an ugly debate! If you "ladies" and I use the term loosely, because real ladies do not insult, snipe and flame each other, want to debate either move it off board or find another forum. This is a "Travel Forum," not a debate forum on wohm/sahm. Please respect the rest of us who come here for TRAVEL advice! Thank you.
 
Old Jun 30th, 2000, 01:15 PM
  #111  
WildHoneysson
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Oh, quit your whining, Dad. At least you get to get out of this house all day long. Look at what I have to put up with. Day in and day out. 24/7/365, always claiming she's the perfect mom. I'm 16, and I think she'd still be nursing me if she thought anyone would be impressed.

Don't you people listen to a word my mom says. I wish she would get a job so I could have just even a small break from her. "We have everything we need," she says. "Material things aren't important," she says.

Yeah, right. So then how come I don't have any decent clothes, or a bike, or summer camp, or even any friends? And a college fund? HA! Oh, who cares. I'm going to die from scurvy anyway, what with all of the beans and rice I get around here. That's all I have learned how to cook. My mom sure doesn't do any cooking around here. She's always on that darn computer, just typing away. I practically have to push her out of the way to use the computer for my homework.

But some day, I'll get a chance to run my own life. And I am going to make some serious coin so that my family doesn't have to suffer the way I did. And Mom's not getting a dime!

Uh, oh. Gotta go. Dad just got home, and he's yelling because Mom didn't make dinner. Again. Just 748 days until I can get away from that woman.
 
Old Jun 30th, 2000, 01:22 PM
  #112  
Julie
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Hate to jump in here and break up all the fun......this question may have already been answered somewhere in the muck of this thread but WHERE THE HECK ARE KIDS SUPPOSED TO HAVE THEIR DIAPERS CHANGED ON AIRPLANES????

One can barely wipe their own a** without smearing the mirror much less change a toddlers diaper in the cube they call a toilet. C'mon!

The last time I flew I sat at the front of the plane and had to tolerate the putrid odor an ADULT left in the toilet as it wafted through the front of the plane. What would you rather smell? A toddler turd or a full-grown man's funk?? Sorry guys, you may not like this but if my 2 year old (well-behaved 2 year-old, I might add) has a poopy diaper on an airplane she will have it changed on the spot! Deal with it or prove your poop doesn't stink. Gimme' a break.

Sorry to interrupt the important discussion going on here.
 
Old Jun 30th, 2000, 01:40 PM
  #113  
Gary
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ENOUGH OF THIS VITRIOL!

But first...

JULIE:

I am a six-foot-two, overweight father. I've changed a baby in the can of a Fokker 100, which is the smallest bathroom imaginable. Get a grip and just do it.
 
Old Jun 30th, 2000, 01:50 PM
  #114  
Pilot
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This is your captain speaking. Any passengers found changing soiled diapers at their seats will be cited for interfering with the flight crew. According to FAA regulations, if you cannot figure out how to change a diaper in a small restroom, and if you cannot bring the necessary equipment with you, you will no longer be permitted to fly and you are a sad, inconsiderate, helpless excuse for a parent. Please attempt to ignore other odors in the cabin, but handling of fecal matter will not be permitted.

 
Old Jun 30th, 2000, 01:54 PM
  #115  
Julie
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I guess I could figure out how to use one of those handy lap trays......hmm...less bending.....hmmm
 
Old Jun 30th, 2000, 02:18 PM
  #116  
Jus' Me
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With all due respect, Julie: shouldn't a 2 year old already be well on the way to being "pottie-trained"?? A lot of these types of problems would go away if parents wouldn't keep their kids in diapers (and keep "Huggies" and "Pampers" in the big bucks) until they were ready for the 1st grade!
 
Old Jun 30th, 2000, 02:24 PM
  #117  
xxx
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Dear Jus, Julie's problem is not that her two-year old is in diapers. That is fine. Let's not start debating potty training, because it varies greatly depending on the child. No, Julie's problem is that she seems quite willing to behave as though she is in a trailer park and not a commercial airplane surrounded by business travelers.
 

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