Avoid Old Lahaina Luau
 

Two weeks ago I honeymooned on Maui. Stayed at the Four Seasons resort for which I was mildly dissapointed; in large part because of my very high expections after reading this web site. Anyway, my wife and I went to the Old Lahaina Luau which is, according to most people on Maui "the best luau" I would not go again upon a return trip to Maui. The open bar is fine, decent brands of liquor, beer and good mixed drinks. The food, however, was terrible. For instance, the "crab salad" is made with the fake crab (ie. processed fish with red coloring on the surface) For 75 dollars you would think they could splurge for the real stuff. The pork should have been called "pork--shreddded beyond recognition"). This meat was most likely pulled from every conceivable oriface of the pig. It was bland and there were no "pieces" of meat only finely shredded garbage. The "guava chicken" was pieces of chicken thighs. Of course these tight wads were to cheap to buy chicken breasts. It was bland and over cooked. I would have rather had quava juice. The show was redundant. Young natives of hawaii doing the hula. Looked like high school kids with a part time job. No professionalism. Highlight for these dancers was trying to get the opposite sex in the audience to give cat calls when they shook their ass. Some did moves more in line with a rap video, I doubt they were native dances, rather done to provoke a response. Also, anti US government undertones during the narration. I would avoid. Or go for the open bar, make a huge salad at dinner, eat it and leave.

Sounds like a typical luau to me. Some people love it but I could never understand why !!

Crab salad isn't hawaiian, neither is "guava chicken". The pork sounds authentic though.

Why'd you come? How can you knock something that you have never exrienced before? Maybe it's just me but I welcome new experiences and if it doesn't appeal to me, I just don't do it again. I'm sure many have the opposite reaction and love it. Unfortunately, some people will take you word and never even try the Four Seasons or the Lahaina Luau. <BR>Aloha

Well, I am not alone. I always wondered why people rave over "luaus". The food is nearly always bad, the entertainment resorts to pulling tourists from the audience and they are traps of the expensive kind. I have been lured to them too many times and will never go again. I agree with mtsod.

Why would anyone go to a luau more than once? The food is always bad; they can't serve real Hawaiian food because it's too expensive and too exotic, so they invent hawaiian-sounding dishes which always seem to involve pineapples or guavas. Then there's the so-called entertainment...

I went to a luau on Maui a few years back and besides the food being marginal the thing I always remembered was the American girls ( not one Hawaiian girl in the group ) doing the hula up on a stage and 3 of the 6 were chewing gum. Very authentic!

With all that said, and even true, the fact is, the Old Lahaina Luau is BY FAR the best luau in the Hawaiian Islands. I agree that one luau is enough for most people!

I am not alone afterall !! I am not the only one that thinks luaus are a pack of crap, a waste of time, and not even very Hawaiian.

I think a vacation should be fun!! Luau's are fun once! For only $75. a person what did you expect? Old Lahaina Luau is one of the better ones.

American girls? Hawaiians are Americans.

I have been dragged to more than one Luau because I have been to the Islands with different people who want the experience and will not believe me when I say it is a waste of time and is only for tourist's money. Actually I have been to three over about 10 years time.<BR>The Old Lahaina one is the last one I went to, and saying it is better than the rest is like saying a cold is better than the flu.

My wife and I went to the Marriott Luau (I think it was the Marriott) on Maui last October. The food was decent but not great, the dancing was interesting, the dancers were attractive and seemingly skilled, they had a pretty funny comedian and the host was a perfect stereotypical Don Ho type. Sure it was partly silly and often cheesy. Sure it was overpriced. No, I would not go again but all that having been said, we were very happy we went. It was entertaining and fun in a silly way... besides how can you go to Hawaii without going to a Luau? It would be like going to New York and not seeing the Statue of Liberty. Just don't expect too much and you won't be dissapointed.

Is it really bad as everyone says?We're going to Oahu 2 weeks from now and planning to attend the Paradise Cove Luau. We're staying at HHV and they have a King's Jubilee and Fireworks on the Friday we're there and polynesian dance and songs every Saturday. At first, I thought we don't need to go to a luau because we already have the fireworks and dance at HHV but since this might be the only chance that I take my 2 teenagers to Hawaii, I figured we should attend a luau but now I'm not sure. Should we miss it or skip it? I know my teenagers won't like the food but I was hoping they would still have fun there.

Why would there be anti-American government propaganda at a luau in Hawaii, the 50th state?

Tess, if it is a celebration for the locals themselves they would have good entertainment. It is when something is geared just for tourists that it gets cheesy, and I would not enjoy a Don Ho like MC bringing tourists on stage to hula, etc. If you like that, fine, but I doubt your teens would. I have been to festivals for the locals and they are fun.

While I was dissapointed by the Old Lahaina Luau, it was a memorable experience that should be done at least once in a lifetime. <BR><BR>That said, drink a lot to try and get your money's worth. I had some of the best meals ever in Hawaii and, sorry to say, the food at the OLL was not one of them. If you are on a limited budget, save the money for a meal at Mama's Fish House or The Waterfront Restauraunt.

Tess- go to the luau and just have fun- you're going to Hawaii and that's a fun part of it. I have been to The Old Lahaina Luau and loved it . I have also recommended it to fiiends who have loved it. Sure, the food isn't first class but the scenery, good service, strong mai-tais and show are all the best I have seen at a luau. Apparently, the "bashers" are to pompous for entertainment that is not the opera or something "high brow". Maybe the original author should stick to just drinking, as he mentioned because he sure needs to lighten up!!

Luau's are simply a gimmick to separate unsuspecting tourists from their money. There seems to be a never ending supply of tourists willing to do this. I've always maintained the "tourist luau's" were a rip off.

Just think of the cast and humor of Hee-Haw in grass skirts with cafeteria food and drinks in a pitcher and if that appeals to you, go for it. If the luaus were inexpensive it would be a different story in my opinion, but to shell out so much money for a family to attend just doesn't pay off. You can walk by the OLL and watch for a bit and then decide if you want to pay to return another day. <BR>