Are you traveling for any big college rivalries this weekend and what's your favorite football joke?
Nov 17th, 2005, 07:34 AM
#1
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Are you traveling for any big college rivalries this weekend and what's your favorite football joke?
I didn't score tix for the OSU vs. Michigan game so I'll be cheering for the Buckeyes from the couch this weekend. Hoping they'll make it to the Fiesta Bowl as I'll be in AZ over the holidays! Go Bucks!
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Four college Alumni were climbing a mountain one day: An OSU grad, a Michigan grad, a Penn State grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each claimed to be the most loyal fan of their alma mater.
As they climbed higher, they argued as to which of them was the most loyal of all. When they reached the summit the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountainside shouting, "This is for the Fighting Irish!"
Not wanting to be outdone, the Penn State grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Nittany Lions!"
Seeing this, the OSU grad walked over and shouted, "This is for the Buckeyes!" and pushed the Michigan grad off the mountain.
**************************************
Four college Alumni were climbing a mountain one day: An OSU grad, a Michigan grad, a Penn State grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each claimed to be the most loyal fan of their alma mater.
As they climbed higher, they argued as to which of them was the most loyal of all. When they reached the summit the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountainside shouting, "This is for the Fighting Irish!"
Not wanting to be outdone, the Penn State grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Nittany Lions!"
Seeing this, the OSU grad walked over and shouted, "This is for the Buckeyes!" and pushed the Michigan grad off the mountain.
Nov 17th, 2005, 08:12 AM
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No college rivalry trip this weekend, but heres my joke:
What does the N on Nebrask'a helmut stand for?....Knowledge.
BTW, those Patriots won three out of four Super Bowls, and WILL go deep into the playoffs this year.
What does the N on Nebrask'a helmut stand for?....Knowledge.
BTW, those Patriots won three out of four Super Bowls, and WILL go deep into the playoffs this year.
Nov 17th, 2005, 08:17 AM
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"Seeing this, the OSU grad walked over and shouted, "This is for the Buckeyes!" and pushed the Michigan grad off the mountain."
And then he went back to work on Monday and reported to his boss, the Northwestern grad.
Sorry, but we have to have some point of pride since we're the dorks of the Big 10.
And then he went back to work on Monday and reported to his boss, the Northwestern grad.
Sorry, but we have to have some point of pride since we're the dorks of the Big 10.
Nov 17th, 2005, 08:38 AM
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What do you call 30 millionaires sitting around a tv in New Jersey watching the NCAA tournament? A Duke parents get-together.
Sorry, couldn't make the same joke about football - Duke fans don't even admit the school has a football team.
Sorry, couldn't make the same joke about football - Duke fans don't even admit the school has a football team.
Nov 17th, 2005, 08:59 AM
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Not this weekend, but next weekend, is the big Florida Gators - Florida State Seminoles game. Neither is a top ten team this year, a very unusual situation.
A Florida grad sat down in his airplane seat next to a stranger. They engaged in conversation prior to takeoff. The Florida grad suddenly said, "I can tell you are a graduate of Florida State."
The stranger said, "How did you know? Was it my impeccable dress, my manners, or my handsome appearance?"
"No, replied the Florida grad. I noticed your graduation ring when you were picking your nose."
A Florida grad sat down in his airplane seat next to a stranger. They engaged in conversation prior to takeoff. The Florida grad suddenly said, "I can tell you are a graduate of Florida State."
The stranger said, "How did you know? Was it my impeccable dress, my manners, or my handsome appearance?"
"No, replied the Florida grad. I noticed your graduation ring when you were picking your nose."
Nov 17th, 2005, 09:01 AM
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Nope. My big "rivalry" game this year came back in September when my undergraduate and graduate schools - Arizona State and Northwestern - played. I wasn't sure whether to wear maroon/gold or purple. The Devils creamed the Wildcats.
For mr_go, it was last weekend - Georgia and Auburn - and the outcome was not as he would have liked. But it was a good game to watch....
For mr_go, it was last weekend - Georgia and Auburn - and the outcome was not as he would have liked. But it was a good game to watch....
Nov 17th, 2005, 09:09 AM
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You sound like me ms_go. My two schools - Wisconsin and UNC - played in September too, and I had looked forward to it for years. I donned a UNC shirt with UW cap, my 6-year old daughter wore a Bucky Badger shirt, and the wife and 2-year old wore UNC attire. The hundreds of UW people in town for the game got a kick out of it, but the UNC fans were not all as kind.
Nov 17th, 2005, 10:15 AM
#14
Favorite football joke just arrived last week:
Breaking News from Philly...
Philadelphia (AP) - A twelve-year-old boy was at the center of a Philadelphia Pa courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Philadelphia Eagles, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
Breaking News from Philly...
Philadelphia (AP) - A twelve-year-old boy was at the center of a Philadelphia Pa courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Philadelphia Eagles, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
Nov 17th, 2005, 01:48 PM
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I have three.
#1 Being not at all affilitated with any Big 10 school ever, this one I assure you comes from a friend who is a Michigan graduate.
Moo Moo MSU,
that's the cow college for you
where seldom is heard [sic]
an intelligent word
And the athletes all draw high pay.
#2 This one is more generic.
Did you hear that the football players at XX made straight A's last quarter?
(Where XX is the university of choice.)
But, the sides of their Bs were crooked.
#3. Seems like a star linebacker at the University of X received an F in English Composition. The coach protested loudly because loss of the linebacker severely weakened the defense.
Finally he enlisted the help of the AD and secured an appointment with the president of the university to appeal the grade.
The English professor was called in and the coaches appealed to him to give the player a passing grade.
The professor, being anti football, said no way. He cannot even spell simple words.
The coach protested. He can so spell simple words. Call him in and he'll show you.
The professor reluctantly agreed and the linebacker was summoned to the president's office to undergo the spelling test.
After some haggling over which word the linebacker would have to spell, the group finally agreed on COFFEE. It met the standards of a common, every day word with which the player was familiar.
The English prof finally agreed to the test and said that if the player gets even 1 letter correct he would give him a passing grade.
The Coach gave the player a pep talk. Come on. Concentrate. The whole team needs you.
The professor then gave the exam: Spell Coffee.
The player knotted his brow, clinched his fists, and assumed a defensive stance.
Slowly he spelled: K A U P H Y
#1 Being not at all affilitated with any Big 10 school ever, this one I assure you comes from a friend who is a Michigan graduate.
Moo Moo MSU,
that's the cow college for you
where seldom is heard [sic]
an intelligent word
And the athletes all draw high pay.
#2 This one is more generic.
Did you hear that the football players at XX made straight A's last quarter?
(Where XX is the university of choice.)
But, the sides of their Bs were crooked.
#3. Seems like a star linebacker at the University of X received an F in English Composition. The coach protested loudly because loss of the linebacker severely weakened the defense.
Finally he enlisted the help of the AD and secured an appointment with the president of the university to appeal the grade.
The English professor was called in and the coaches appealed to him to give the player a passing grade.
The professor, being anti football, said no way. He cannot even spell simple words.
The coach protested. He can so spell simple words. Call him in and he'll show you.
The professor reluctantly agreed and the linebacker was summoned to the president's office to undergo the spelling test.
After some haggling over which word the linebacker would have to spell, the group finally agreed on COFFEE. It met the standards of a common, every day word with which the player was familiar.
The English prof finally agreed to the test and said that if the player gets even 1 letter correct he would give him a passing grade.
The Coach gave the player a pep talk. Come on. Concentrate. The whole team needs you.
The professor then gave the exam: Spell Coffee.
The player knotted his brow, clinched his fists, and assumed a defensive stance.
Slowly he spelled: K A U P H Y
Nov 17th, 2005, 02:31 PM
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Sue--Ahhh, the Apple Cup!
We have the (un)Civil War here in Oregon. OSU vs UO. Beavers usually do tailgators with roasted Duck. We do not have tickets this year, so will just have to watch on tv and keep pouting that we will not be there.
We have the (un)Civil War here in Oregon. OSU vs UO. Beavers usually do tailgators with roasted Duck. We do not have tickets this year, so will just have to watch on tv and keep pouting that we will not be there.
Nov 17th, 2005, 02:46 PM
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Here in the L.A. area, the big USC/UCLA rivalry game isn't until 12/3.
This a a cute --but long --one that you might already have heard. You can insert your team's name in the punchline:
HIS & HER DIARIES:
HER DIARY
Saturday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink.
Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk; he agreed but he kept quiet and absent.
I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.
When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched T.V.; he seemed distant and absent.
Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else.
I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
HIS DIARY
UCLA lost today, but at least I got laid.
This a a cute --but long --one that you might already have heard. You can insert your team's name in the punchline:
HIS & HER DIARIES:
HER DIARY
Saturday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink.
Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk; he agreed but he kept quiet and absent.
I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.
When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched T.V.; he seemed distant and absent.
Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else.
I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
HIS DIARY
UCLA lost today, but at least I got laid.
