Advice on tipping
 

My OH and I are spending a few days in San Francisco in August, on our way to Europe. We've not been to the US before, and no nothing about tipping. It's not a part of the culture in our own country.

I'm not looking for a discussion on the rights and wrongs of tipping; I assume such a discussion will have been had on this forum many times before. We accept that if you're in a country, you abide by its customs. This posting is a genuine attempt to get my head around a custom that, at the moment, is outside my comfort zone - we want to avoid doing the wrong thing while we're in the US.

Dining out, I think I understand. You're presented with a bill, you round it up or add a % on, and you pay it. But what about services that you've already booked and paid for? We've arranged a shuttle from SFO airport to our hotel, and prepaid it already. Do we tip the driver as well, at the time? When we get on, or when we get off? What are the guidelines for deciding how much to tip? Ditto for our pre-booked ferry to Alcatraz. Do these "public transport" conveyances (let's include buses, trams, cable cars etc in this as well) also need to be tipped?

And what happens if you're caught in a tipping situation and you only have a large-denomination banknote on you? Is it acceptable to ask for change when you tip?

Apologies for mis-spelling in 1st paragraph. It should be "know" not "no"!

Most people will tip the shuttle driver as they take your bags out at drop off. Unless you have lots of luggage, $5 would be ok.

No tip for the trip to Alcatraz.

Public transit, no tip.

Taxi ,cab yes.

Not a good idea to ask for change, they'll likely say they don't have any. ;)

Just be sure to carry several $1 and $5 bills with you at all times.

Everyone here will have different ideas about the amount or %. Restaurants with sit down, waiter service -- 20% in San Francisco will work.

Fast food, Starbucks etc, IF you feel generous, toss $1 in the tip jar or loose change.
Don't make yourself crazy.

Have a great time n SF, our favorite city in US

Dining, yes: 15-20% (20% in the DC area where I live)

Public transport: nope and the bus driver might think you're nuts if you try :)

Taxi: yes, 20% (again, in my area)

Bellhop/porter: like $2/ bag

I wouldn't tip prepaid services. It's fine to ask for change. If you have a $17 taxi fare and tip $4 for a total of $21, it's fine to pay with two 20's and ask for change. Just ask for the amount back that you'd like. A restaurant should bring you all your change unless you tell the server to keep the change.

Enjoy your trip!

Hotel room - we leave $ each morning since the staff can be different each day. Again, this will bring lots of comment but we leave $3 each day. I am very tidy, everything is put away, so they can come in clean and get out fast.

<i>Dining out, I think I understand. You're presented with a bill, you round it up or add a % on, and you pay it.</i>

If it is waiter service, you don't just round up, you should tip 15% to 20%.

<i>But what about services that you've already booked and paid for? We've arranged a shuttle from SFO airport to our hotel, and prepaid it already. Do we tip the driver as well, at the time? When we get on, or when we get off? What are the guidelines for deciding how much to tip?</i>

Really up to you. For a shared shuttle, I would think a lot of people (most?) wouldn't tip. If you do, do it when you get off, presumably after he helps with your bags. A $1 or $2 per bag, or just $5 flat tip should cover it.

<i>Ditto for our pre-booked ferry to Alcatraz.</i>

I don't think you'd tip for the ferry.

<i>Do these "public transport" conveyances (let's include buses, trams, cable cars etc in this as well) also need to be tipped?</i>

No, you don't tip public transit. Taxis, yes (round up to 15%), but not public transit.

<i>And what happens if you're caught in a tipping situation and you only have a large-denomination banknote on you? Is it acceptable to ask for change when you tip?</i>

It is a good idea to carry some singles in case you get caught out. But if you don't have anything smaller, I wouldn't ask for change for a tip.

However, if you are paying for a service (especially taxis) and are paying in cash, you can just tell them how much change you want back in total. For example, if you have a $15 cab ride and only have a $20, just say "$3 back is fine" if you want to give a $2 tip. The same logic applies if you pay cash at a restaurant. $75 bill? Put $90 down and you are all set - just say that you don't need any change.

<i>we want to avoid doing the wrong thing while we're in the US.</i>

It isn't that big of a risk. The primary times you would need to tip would be:

- Waitstaff. This is the big one. Tip 15% to 20% on the bill. You can do it based on the pre-tax total, but I rarely bother. I would consider a 15% tip on pre-tax to be on the low side in a major urban area, but it isn't egregious. My view is usually that erring on the high side rarely amounts to more than a couple of dollars, so why not err?

- Bartenders. I personally think you should tip at $1 per drink or 15 to 20%, whichever is higher.

- Taxis. I usually tip around 15%, though I rarely ever take taxis anymore, preferring to use Lyft or Uber. You might consider downloading those apps if you have a smartphone.

- Bellhops. Tip $1 or $2 per bag if they help you. Tip a $1 or $2 if they hail you a cab.

- Valet (car). Tip a few dollars when they bring the car back.

That is really it, unless you are going to get some grooming (massage, haircut, nails, etc.) done. I only ever get a haircut, I waaay overtip when I do, so I will let others weigh in on what is appropriate for that.

FWIW I agree with the above advice from the three posters and twoflower, I suggest you take it and run, because these threads do indeed tend to devolve into nitpicking and general discussion of tipping. Everything you need to know has already been said!

(And thanks for making such an effort to do the right thing. As an American, I realize our tipping culture is confusing/strange/offputting to foreign visitors.)

Hi twoflower!

<<Dining out, I think I understand. You're presented with a bill, you round it up or add a % on, and you pay it.>>

If you are paying by a credit card there will be a line on the bill that says TIP _______ . You write the amount there. The norm is 15% - 20%. If you aren't comfortable with math there are Tip Charts online that you can download or print out that will tell you exactly how much to tip. Or download an App to your device that you carry.

You never tip in anyplace where you walk up to the counter, order food, are given the food at the counter. Or go sit down and the food it brought to you (McDonald's is a perfect example. Or a deli.) If there is a Tip Jar at a counter and you want to get rid of change in your pocket you can drop it in. But, there is no expectation of tipping in these places.

<<But what about services that you've already booked and paid for? We've arranged a shuttle from SFO airport to our hotel, and prepaid it already. Do we tip the driver as well, at the time? >>

First, make sure you read your receipt and see if it says whether or not tip is already included. If not, 15% - 20%.

<< When we get on, or when we get off?>>
When you get off. You never Tip before you receive a service. If the driver is terrible, talks on the phone (against the law), is rude. I would make my discomfort clear on the drive and if they don't respond I probably wouldn't tip. That's an extreme, worse case scenario and shouldn't be expected.

<<What are the guidelines for deciding how much to tip?>>
Here's just one
http://roundaboutsanfrancisco.com/basics/tipping.html

<<Ditto for our pre-booked ferry to Alcatraz. Do these "public transport" conveyances (let's include buses, trams, cable cars etc in this as well) also need to be tipped?>>

Never !

<<And what happens if you're caught in a tipping situation and you only have a large-denomination banknote on you? Is it acceptable to ask for change when you tip?>>

I always try to have small bills on me when I travel. $1's, $5's. I don't really need to tip much in my daily life other than restaurants and an occasional taxi.

But, when I take a taxi I frequently ask for change. If your fare is $11 and you give two $10's the tip should be rounded up to $2.00. So $7 change. If the driver says they don't have change, I'd tell them here's the $10 - I'm going to run into that store / bank /deli and get change and I'll give you the other $3.00. I'll be right back. I'd never leave an $7 tip. Btw, they might find the change rather than wait for you to do that :)

In restaurants asking for and getting change is never a problem if you want to tip in cash. You leave the tip on the table in the envelope or on the tray.

Oh, in hotels I never have to tip a bell hop because I have luggage on wheels and I take it to the room myself.

When alone I tip the maid daily by leaving it on my pillow in the amount of $2 or $3. If a family and there's a lot of clean up for the maid to do, the least amount I'd leave is $5.

I frequently sit at the bar and order a glass of wine. I tip $1 each glass. I just set it down when the glass is put in front of me. Fairly often, they will pour me an extra glass of wine :) I don't order mixed drinks so others will have to advise on the appropriate tip.

<i>And what happens if you're caught in a tipping situation and you only have a large-denomination banknote on you? Is it acceptable to ask for change when you tip? </i>

I've asked for change from bellhops and valet parking attendants on occasion when I've forgotten to stop by the hotel front desk or left a restaurant already. No one has ever not had change or batted an eye. I try not to make a habit out of it but also don't think it's that unusual of a request.

I always make sure I have a stack of one dollar bills. I have to tip the shuttle drivers going to and from the airport to hotels. I usually tip 2.00 since I only have a small bag. I tip 20% on a meal or at a bar.
I tip in cash. If using a card you can add to your bill, there is a spot for tip. If you are leaving cash cross that out and write cash so they can't add themselves. Rarely happens but I would rather give cash so know they get the money.
I wish to hell we paid a living wage in the USA.

Google "tripadvisor tipping" and you will get links to several published sources about tipping.

In general, Americans overtip. For instance, many folks will give a bartender $1 for taking the top off a $5 bottle of beer, and I once noticed a young man leave $5 for somebody who delivered a $13 hamburger to him without dropping it on the floor. It must have been his parents' money.

This is unnecessary. A 15-20% tip works in restaurants, and I avoid the $1-$2 bar tip by ordering beverages with my meals and tipping for drinks in the same percentage I tip for food.

I tip taxi drivers 15%, valets $2 when they deliver my car. They say, "Thank you" in a tone that suggests others tip less or don't tip at all."

I don't ask bellboys to carry my luggage from the curb to the reception desk after I have carried it half way around the world. Thus, no tip there.

I pay for restaurant meals and taxi rides using a credit card (as is common here) and, thus, I don't need to worry about how to deal with a $100 bill.

If I go to a place where I will have valet service, I go there with a big stack of $1 bills.

Also, it is common in the US when you order food or drink at a counter to find there a jar or other container with the word "Tips" written on it in hopes that you will cough up extra money for workers who in the past were not in the tip-receiving category. You may drop money into these containers or you can do as you would do at McDonald's, Burger King, and similar establishments where you pick up food and drink at counters but where they politely do not have "Tip" jars on display.

HTtY

Hi, we come from Australia where tipping is rare and visit America fairly often for holidays so I sympathise with you. It does cause some stress, worrying about when to tip, how to tip and how much. I'd suggest watching others, if you're on a shuttle for example, most others will probably be American. To us, it looks so quick you almost miss it - from the closed palm of the customer straight into the hand of the driver and straight into his pocket in about 2 seconds flat. When we tip it often looks awkward because we are simply not used to it.

And I guess you know American bank notes all look the same so be careful not to tip a $10 instead of a $1.

So watch others and if unsure then tip, better than making a big mistake. You will get used to it though you can feel as if your hand is continually in your pocket.

Kay

In larger cities the minimum tip in restaurants and cabs is 20% of the fare (food and wine). Do not tip on tax or any toll charges for highways, bridges or tolls. In cabs you can almost always pay with your credit card and the electronic meter will have a place you can input tip - and usually has the option of selecting 20%, 25% etc.

Shuttle to/fro the airport you tip, esp if the driver handles your luggage. I would do $5 per person or couple.

Bellmen in hotels should be tipped depending on the amount of luggage and type/cost of hotel. I would never give less than $3 and up for more than 1 bag and in more expensive hotels.

I leave $3 per day for the maid on the nightstand.

If you ask for anything special - more towels, different pillows, etc - you should give the housekeeper several $. Room service you should give a tip - but do see what service charges are included (but these usually don;t go to the waitstaff).

Concierge you do no tip for basic qustions, maps or if they arrange a tour. If you ask them to get you restaurant reservations, show or concert tickets or any thing special. Tip based on the difficulty of the request. (If they got you great seats at a sold out concert or whatever I would tip $25-$50 and up.

If you have a car in a garage you give a couple of $ to whoever brings you the car each time.

Tips in bar should depend on the price of drinks and how complicated they are to make. If you get some big foofy concoction with 9 ingredients I would give $5 per - esp if the drinks are $20 or more each. For a beer or glass of wine in a casual place $1 or $2 per is OK.

Hotel doormen are tipped - $1 or $2 - if they get you a cab under difficult circumstances or deal with luggage - not just if they take the next in line and open the door.

Should also tip at hairdresser or other similar services. I do $25 to my stylist and $5 to the shampoo girl - but again, depends on price of service.

I've been told when you pay your resto bill it's for the food not the liquer you tip for

Yes it is best to have small notes/bills. But sometimes you just won't . . . you tipped someone else, or used the $$ earlier. Don't panic -- I've asked cabbies, hairdressers, waiters, Bellmen etc for change more than once. No biggie.

Some restaurant bills have suggested amounts for tips calculated for you, (usually 15,18 & 20 percent) printed at the bottom of the bill.

That's handy if you're not sure how much to tip or just not good at math!

<i>I've been told when you pay your resto bill it's for the food not the liquer you tip for</i>

You've been told wrong. You tip on the entire bill.

Maybe, maybe, maybe you should drop your percentage a little bit if the wine bill is huge (50% or more of the total), but if you are spending that kind of money on wine at dinner, then dropping the tip just seems, well, super cheap.

<i>then dropping the tip just seems, well, super cheap</i>

How uncouth and presumptuous to suggest that somebody is "super cheap." When confident people tip the amount they have decided is appropriate, they have no concern what service industry workers (or you) think of them.

HTtY

cigalchanta

<<I've been told when you pay your resto bill it's for the food not the liquer you tip for>>

That's not correct. You tip on the total amount of the bill. Liquor is included.

It's already been mentioned. As I said, if I order I glass of wine with no food I tip $1 per glass.

You can tip on the subtotal of a bill before tax. It's not necessary to tip on the tax amount. It's itemized on the bill so you just look for "Sub Total". That's the amount you should tip on.

Some people don't mind tipping on the "Total". That's a personal choice and anyone who only tips on "Sub Total" should not be criticized. The difference isn't usually all that much but the choice is yours.

<i>How uncouth and presumptuous to suggest that somebody is "super cheap."</i>

Oh brother.

<i>When confident people tip the amount they have decided is appropriate, they have no concern what service industry workers (or you) think of them.</i>

Unhelpful nonsense and you'd do well to take it somewhere else. The OP wanted real advice on how much to tip without looking like a cheapskate or causing offense. I feel pretty confident that they are not interested in advice of the "go ahead and stiff the waitstaff, because who cares what they think" variety.

It has nothing to do with confidence and everything to do with observing norms. One can confidently strip naked in the Sistine Chapel and it still wouldn't make them right.

As predicted, threads about tipping eventually end up in disagreement, so it's easy to see why the uninitiated can get confused about topic.

You've been given pretty good general advice about whom to tip and whom not to tip. As for the amounts, don't stress over it.

For instance, some suggest $1/drink at a bar. If you had three drinks and tip only $2, no one is going to go ballistic. (If they do, tell them to go to hell.)

Similarly for van drivers who help you with your luggage. $1/bag? $2/bag? Anything in that neighborhood is fine.

And then there's the debate of 15-20% of the restaurant bill. Including liquor? Not including liquor? Including tax? Not including tax? You're on safe ground if you consider the whole bill. (I laugh at suggestions to not include the tax in the total. So if a bill, including $6 tax, is $100, is the tip amount going to change drastically if you subtract the $6 from the total?)

As you can see, there are ranges in "appropriate" tip amounts. I tend to go for the higher range if the service is better than average. Did the van driver carry my bags in the rain to a covered spot? Was the bartender quick to ask if I wanted another when my glass was empty, or did I have cobwebs before he/she showed up again?

If it makes you feel better, Americans feel just as confused when they enter a no-tipping culture.

<i>The OP wanted real advice on how much to tip without looking like a cheapskate....</i>

The word "cheap" doesn't appear here until you use it, and your comment is not about the OP but about another forum member. I called you on name-calling; that's me. You defended it and belittled me; that's you.

HTtY

<i>your comment is not about the OP but about another forum member</i>

I was correcting inaccurate information.

<i>I called you on name-calling</i>

I never called anyone here anything. I was referring to the "royal you". I thought that was clear, but I guess not.

Regardless, even if you thought I was name-calling, you should have left it at that. Instead, you chose to diverge into an unhelpful, inaccurate bit of nonsense about how a confident person can tip whatever they want. That is on you and I'm not going to apologize for pointing out your incorrect recommendation.

And, yes, ordering an expensive bottle of wine and not tipping on the cost (or tipping less than normal) is super cheap. If you can afford the wine, you can afford the tip.

Thank you for asking about tipping, that is a nice thing to research ahead of time.
Generally you have gotten good suggestions with minor differences of opinion (eg tip for food pre or post tax). I agree with please remember to tip your housekeeper daily in case she is off duty the day you check out. I also leave it on the pillow, so they know it is for them. It is amazing how many people do not tip these hard working people.

We always want extra coffee and towels in our hotel room and I don't like anyone to clean my room during a stay. I have my crap everywhere and usually clothes drying...I will find the housekeeper in the am outside my door, ask for those items and give her five. Last trip to Belfast I came back from a day out touring and she had left a bag at my door filled with goodies. We left money on the dresser with a thank you when we checked out after three nights.
Because we don't pay a living wage in the USA bartenders and servers depend on our tips as well as many others in the service industry. Very Sad....

twoflower: Some Americans, as you can see, are apologetic about the tipping culture. I'm not.

In fact, many people who rely heavily on tips make a decent wage when the tips are figured in. And I like the idea of directly rewarding a person for good service. After I graduated from college, and before I started a teaching job in September, I worked as a bartender for the summer. My weekly pay for that job, including tips, well exceeded my starting weekly pay as a teacher.

As for people who don't make a decent wage even when tips are included: Well, the world isn't a fair place, and some people are going to be in low-wage jobs, tips or no tips.

I apologize for my second and third posts on this thread. They are unkind and unnecessary. I was bored, and I went off in a direction that doesn't make me proud.

HTtY

vincenzo, more and more places pool their tips and divide among many at the end of the day. Good days and bad days. My brother owns a restaurant and bar. He is a good employer and has kids wanting to wash dishes to get their foot in the door. He opens at four so 90% of his servers work other jobs. Three are teachers. Many are ski patrol and white water guides. They do what they love, are young and educated. They need the second income though because it is a resort town. A wine sommelier comes to train them so they are knowledgeable and very good at their job. They work hard and deserve tips but they get some very slow nights so am glad they get paid a fair wage. A server in Europe is not looked at the same way many do in the US. It is a good honorable job.

This is amazing - thanks everyone! Not only do I feel my questions have been answered, but I've got answers to questions I only thought of later and wished I had asked!

The waiter service thing was obvious, but I'm glad also to have got guidelines for drinking at the bar. Now here's a question: sometimes we will go into a bar/bistro (we're fans of craft beer and are pleased to see SF has a few good places offering it) and buy drinks, unsure of whether we'll dine there or not until we've got the "feel" of the place. Back home we'll tell the bartender we may stay to dine and ask if we can open a "tab" right from the start. In a tipping world, that would mean one tip at the end on the total bill, rather than tipping separately for each order. Is that the sort of thing you would do in the US?

Also, I gather that it's OK to decline the services of a bellhop? They don't mind? (I recall a time in Bangkok Airport where kids watch the baggage carousel and when they see you reach towards a bag the dart in ahead of you and grab it, then dash out towards the exit where they demand money before releasing it to you)! I'm picking US bellhops are not that pushy or blatant! It's not that I begrudge them a tip, but if I've carted my bag halfway round the world, something inside me rebels at letting someone carry it for me in an elevator to my room. (It's like when young people give up their seat for me in a bus - a part of me appreciates their good manners, but another part of me complains "Do I really look that old?")!

Anyway, this has been an extremely helpful response, so thanks everyone. Looking forward to seeing what you think about these last few points.

two: Opening a "tab" and tipping at the end is perfectly acceptable almost everywhere in the US, and especially in places that serve dinner. Sometimes the bartender will ask if you want to start a tab. If he/she doesn't, just ask, "We're going to start a tab, OK?"

Now, for the continiuing debate about tipping culture:

fl: >>It is a good honorable job.<<

I don't measure "good" and "honorable" by the number on the paycheck.

>> Good days and bad days. <<

As do many jobs. Many people in the world work hard for not a lot of money, and certainly for a lot less than servers. Hard work doesn't always equal good pay.

>>A server in Europe is not looked at the same way many do in the US. <<

I look at a server the same way in Europe as in the US. In fact, I'm not sure I understand what you mean. No one I know thinks a server is beneath them, in any country. There are people who behave badly toward servers, but IME, those people tend to behave badly with almost everyone.

two: Opening a "tab" and tipping at the end is perfectly acceptable almost everywhere in the US, and especially in places that serve dinner. Sometimes the bartender will ask if you want to start a tab. If he/she doesn't, just ask, "We're going to start a tab, OK?"

Now, for the continiuing debate about tipping culture:

fl: >>It is a good honorable job.<<

I don't measure "good" and "honorable" by the number on the paycheck.

>> Good days and bad days. <<

As do many jobs. Many people in the world work hard for not a lot of money, and certainly for a lot less than servers. Hard work doesn't always equal good pay.

>>A server in Europe is not looked at the same way many do in the US. <<

I look at a server the same way in Europe as in the US. In fact, I'm not sure I understand what you mean. No one I know thinks a server is beneath them, in any country. There are people who behave badly toward servers, but IME, those people tend to behave badly with almost everyone.

"Also, I gather that it's OK to decline the services of a bellhop? "

Absolutely ok. Simply smile and say, "thanks but I've got this."

The only thing to bear in mind when starting a tab at a bar is that some will hold onto your credit card while the tab is open. I don't particularly find that a problem, but something to be aware of.

Good point. I think, too, some bars have a system where they swipe your card at the start, rather than holding your card. But either is OK.

Hi twoflower,

Fodor's also has a blog article about tipping in the U.S. that includes a handy guide you can print out and carry with you. Here it is:

http://www.fodors.com/news/how-to-ti...rld-10820.html

Safe and happy travels!

Emily

<<Also, I gather that it's OK to decline the services of a bellhop? They don't mind?>>

In this day and age with the advancement of rolling luggage it is NOT necessary to use a bellhop ! And, in many hotels, they don't have a bellhop but give you the usage of one of those rolling hotel carts.

When I stay in a hotel with a bellhop and they see me and they ask if I need help with my bags I politely tell them "no thank you. I've got it. But thanks, again."

<<Back home we'll tell the bartender we may stay to dine and ask if we can open a "tab" right from the start. >>
If you open a tab they usually ask for a credit card. I have had bars not ask. But, you just never know.

When I travel and open a tab I admit that when I'm given a glass of wine I will 'sometimes' still set down $1. Like I said, frequently when I do that the bartender will give me an extra 'pour' of wine. Doesn't work so much with mixed drinks but I have seen bartenders 'buy' someone a mixed drink if they so that they are tipping. But, I also don't always do that and I never expect an extra 'pour' or glass of wine. It's just nice If / When it happens.

elizzie - I do that too - tip in cash from the start, even if I open a tab. That way the bartender knows that I am a decent tipper, so I'm more likely to get better service. I think that if you are visiting from another country, this is a good practice because it alerts the bartender that yes, you are familiar with the tipping culture and he or she is not going to get stiffed.

I think everyone else pretty well handled the first questions you had . . . I'll let you know what I do, then move on to the second set of questions.

Shuttle: since they put your bags on and take them off, I give the driver $5 for the 2 of us. We often pre-pay. Sometimes the pre-pay option also includes whether you want to leave a tip, and I never do when making the reservation (it's been known that some places don't actually give it to the driver!). I never tip until AFTER service is concluded.

Restaurants: 20% unless they are horrible (vs. can't get to you right away because they are so busy with other customers or are learning the trade), then 15%. I base it on the full bill.

Cabs: 15 - 20%.

Bars: Paying by the glass vs. opening a tab: $1 - $2, and I say that because these days it's not surprising to pay over $10 for a drink. And if me and my husband get a drink and it's over $20 (often), I pay $3 for the round. When we open a tab - here's where it gets a little tricky. First, I never hand over a debit card (after doing that once and discovering an employee copied it and went on a shopping spree with the cloned number). Second, if it is clear that we have a designated bartender (either the only person at the bar or you can see a demarcation where Bartender A is serving only stools 1, 2, and 3), I wait until the bill comes. If it's clear that more than one person might be waiting on us, we drop $1 on the counter per drink.

Bellhops: I haven't seen legit bellhops at any US airport that runs up and grabs bags off a carousel. Anyone that tries to do that is viewed as a thief and is dealt with accordingly. I have seen that in European airports, from time to time, more often at train stations, and we grab our suitcases back or say "no" really loudly. Be assertive in a situation like that.

As for at hotels, we generally politely smile and say one is not needed (they generally ask if you need help) and that's not a surprise, and it's perfectly acceptable. However, there are times when we bring so much stuff (like a beach vacation) that we welcome the help. Generally tip the bellhop $5.00 if you use him/her.