A heartful question regarding moving
 

Upon my planning for a long term sabbatical, I have decided to turn our travels into a move. I am talking to an immigration lawyer in the Netherlands regarding a resident permit and opening a business. I know about the rules for doing this, so that is not where my question is.

The problem I face is that my long-term live-in boyfriend (who has not travelled much, only once in London while in high school) is frightened with my revelation. He wants to do the sabbatical and I want to do the move. He says it's not economical especially since I would have to do a preliminary trip to the Netherlands to meet the lawyer, fill out paperwork and visit my proposed city.

I feel that even if this is a difficult process to endure, I believe that it would be exciting to try even if, in the end, I fail.

Upon writing, I am not sure what my question to you would be. I know he would go, but I don't want to put undue stress on him in a foreign country.

I have visited lots of different countries, lived in France and Australia and can speak French. I want to have this moving experience, but I am hesitant to act because I love and respect his fear of the unknown.

Does anywone have a similar experience or ideas?

Synada, are you moving to the United States or just around Europe?

The bottom line is look at the worst case scenario and see if you can live with that.

I've started completely over at 30 and while it seems daunting, looking back it was a great adventure.

Especially if you don't have kids. With kids it would be much tougher.

I am coming from the US and wanting to go to the Netherlands. I am 33 year old female with two dogs and no children.

Thank you for the suggestion. It would be starting over. I hope that the man that I love will be able to join my adventure if I so choose to accept the challenge.

this is not quite at the same level as your move but....

My friend, an East Coast gal, was in her late 20s and living with her fiance in NY State when they "together" decided to move to ski country in the Rockies.

Truthfully it was HER dream for a long time but fiance seemed to be OK with it.

She went full force, found a great job in her profession, rented a condo and moved there while fiance was scheduled to come a month later.

After a year and a half of waiting, listening to his tales of worry and anxiety about the move, it ended in heartbreak because fiance couldnt bring himself to go.

That was 1990. So 15 years later she is very happily married to someone else. She has a stellar career, beautiful home and no regrets.

Maybe if you move first, find a place to stay, it will be easier for him to follow you?

You have to do what's best for you in your life. Would you regret not going?
It seems to me that you are going and have already decided that. Now, you are thinking, should I go even if he does not? We all make sacrafice's at different times in our lives because we love the person or we have children to think of, etc... BUT, you shouldn't make a sacrafice that you will later regret. Go, and if he follows, then it is fate. If he doesn't than it wasn't meant to be.....

It's not all that easy to immigrate to Netherlands. I might save some of this worrying until you knew if it was even possible to do.

If you are serious about the relationship, maybe you should stop to wonder why you aren't as concerned as he is and why your needs seems to be more paramount than his.

Ultimately, if this is something you want but he doesn't, than you decide whether it is a relationship deal breaker. Is it more forward to follow your desires or acknowledge the desires of yoru partner.