A Bit of Silliness before Christmas
Dec 18th, 2003, 07:30 AM
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A Bit of Silliness before Christmas
A new Take on the Old Christmas Carols..enjoy!
*please do not take any of this personally
*
SCHIZOPHRENIA
Do you hear what I hear?
MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER
We three queens disoriented are
DEMENTIA
I think I'll be home for Christmas
NARCISSISTIC
Hark the Herald Angels sing about me
MANIC
Deck the Halls & Walls & house & lawn & streets & stores & office & town & cars & buses & trucks & trees & fire hydrants & everything with balls of holly.
PARANOID
Santa Claus is coming to get me.
PERSONALITY DISORDER
You better watch out, I'm gonna cry, I'm gonna pout, maybe
I'll tell, maybe I won't
BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER
Thoughts of roasting on an open fire
OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells,
jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells,
jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells
*please do not take any of this personally
*SCHIZOPHRENIA
Do you hear what I hear?
MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER
We three queens disoriented are
DEMENTIA
I think I'll be home for Christmas
NARCISSISTIC
Hark the Herald Angels sing about me
MANIC
Deck the Halls & Walls & house & lawn & streets & stores & office & town & cars & buses & trucks & trees & fire hydrants & everything with balls of holly.
PARANOID
Santa Claus is coming to get me.
PERSONALITY DISORDER
You better watch out, I'm gonna cry, I'm gonna pout, maybe
I'll tell, maybe I won't
BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER
Thoughts of roasting on an open fire
OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells,
jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells,
jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells
Dec 18th, 2003, 07:54 AM
#4
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You are welcome
I sat here giggling all morning, Soooo many of these relate to me LOL
almesq, the service is great, I enjoy the food and the bartender is cool I like sugar water in my tea so he remembers, that sort of thing. I think it will be a great party, good spot for one!
Have fun ~
I sat here giggling all morning, Soooo many of these relate to me LOL
almesq, the service is great, I enjoy the food and the bartender is cool
I like sugar water in my tea so he remembers, that sort of thing. I think it will be a great party, good spot for one!Have fun ~
Dec 18th, 2003, 09:13 AM
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FUN WORD DEFINITIONS
Hangover: Something to occupy a head that wasn't used the night before.
Summer: The season when children slam the doors they left open all winter.
Prosperity: Something the businessmen create for the politicians to take credit for.
MOM'S POCKET DICTIONARY
Amnesia: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again.
Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
Full name: What you call your child when you're mad at him.
Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
Ow: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.
Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.
Two minute warning: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
Verbal: Able to whine in words.
Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.
Weekend: When Dad gets to play golf while Mom catches up on the laundry, cleans the house, runs errands, etc.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THOUGHT PROVOKING DEFINITIONS
Acquaintance: A person who we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
Advice: The one thing that is more blessed to give than to receive.
Alimony: A splitting headache.
Bank: An institution where you can borrow money if you can present sufficient evidence that you don't need it.
Bore: One who insists upon talking about himself when you want to talk about yourself.
Bore: A person who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company.
Budget: An orderly system of living beyond your means.
Children: Small people who are not permitted to act as parents did at that age.
Cocktail Party: Where they cut sandwiches and friends into little pieces.
Diet: Something to take the starch out of you.
Diplomacy: To do and say the nastiest things in the nicest way.
Genius: One who can do almost anything except make a living.
Key Ring: A handy gadget that lets you lose all your keys at once.
Leisure: The two minutes rest a man gets while his wife thinks up something for him to do.
Marriage: The only life sentence that is suspended by bad behavior.
Politics: The art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrect, and applying the wrong remedies.
Praise: What you receive when you are no longer alive.
Hangover: Something to occupy a head that wasn't used the night before.
Summer: The season when children slam the doors they left open all winter.
Prosperity: Something the businessmen create for the politicians to take credit for.
MOM'S POCKET DICTIONARY
Amnesia: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again.
Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
Full name: What you call your child when you're mad at him.
Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
Ow: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.
Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.
Two minute warning: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
Verbal: Able to whine in words.
Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.
Weekend: When Dad gets to play golf while Mom catches up on the laundry, cleans the house, runs errands, etc.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THOUGHT PROVOKING DEFINITIONS
Acquaintance: A person who we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
Advice: The one thing that is more blessed to give than to receive.
Alimony: A splitting headache.
Bank: An institution where you can borrow money if you can present sufficient evidence that you don't need it.
Bore: One who insists upon talking about himself when you want to talk about yourself.
Bore: A person who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company.
Budget: An orderly system of living beyond your means.
Children: Small people who are not permitted to act as parents did at that age.
Cocktail Party: Where they cut sandwiches and friends into little pieces.
Diet: Something to take the starch out of you.
Diplomacy: To do and say the nastiest things in the nicest way.
Genius: One who can do almost anything except make a living.
Key Ring: A handy gadget that lets you lose all your keys at once.
Leisure: The two minutes rest a man gets while his wife thinks up something for him to do.
Marriage: The only life sentence that is suspended by bad behavior.
Politics: The art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrect, and applying the wrong remedies.
Praise: What you receive when you are no longer alive.
Dec 18th, 2003, 09:19 AM
#8
Ok here's mine. What's the difference ,
A phychiatrist, neurotic, pychotic?
(this is an old chestnut, for those who know)
A neurotic builds castles in the air.
The pychotic lives in them.
The pychiatrist collects the rent.
A phychiatrist, neurotic, pychotic?
(this is an old chestnut, for those who know)
A neurotic builds castles in the air.
The pychotic lives in them.
The pychiatrist collects the rent.
Dec 18th, 2003, 09:30 AM
#9
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Hi Scarlett,
Totally off-topic, sorry...
I've enjoyed reading little bits and pieces about your trip to Las Vegas in scattered posts, but did you do a true trip report? We're heading out that way in a couple months (2nd trip) and I'd like to get your take on the restaurants in particular. We went last year and were underwhelmed with some places that normally get great reviews (Onda, especially).
Good luck with your move--we'll be doing the big cross-country move in the spring, but dropping the kids off with family in between so we can take a couple of vacations!
Totally off-topic, sorry...
I've enjoyed reading little bits and pieces about your trip to Las Vegas in scattered posts, but did you do a true trip report? We're heading out that way in a couple months (2nd trip) and I'd like to get your take on the restaurants in particular. We went last year and were underwhelmed with some places that normally get great reviews (Onda, especially).
Good luck with your move--we'll be doing the big cross-country move in the spring, but dropping the kids off with family in between so we can take a couple of vacations!
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