The niece would be fine without the mom, LOL. I'd separate them also, and have a talk with your sis to be as low key about the whole thing as possible.

I agree with the above posters who said the less "prep," the better! If the plane ride is treated as a huge undertaking she'll be more likely to absorb your sister's fear. Treat it like you're taking a bus (even though it's much safer than that!).

Having her sit next to a fearless flyer is also a great idea, if your sister will go along with it. As a child I always had Dad (fearless) as a buffer between me and my mom (terrified, and in a pre-Xanax era). But after a girls-only trip with my mom, I was like, "Hey, no one ever told me planes were scary!" It took a loooong time to get over that fear.

One thought: You could tell her you're taking a plane to a surprise destination, and ask her if she has any questions about the plane ride before you go. Then you can give her any prep she wants without spilling the important part of the surprise.

Does anyone remember Color Forms? These were little flexible plastic shapes/people that could be stuck to a black board. When our daughter was young, I brought a box of them along on one of our flights. Instead of sticking them on the board, our daughter used the window of the plane. They were easy to remove and re-stick. Our daughter loved playing with them. Are they still available?

We prepared her for the trip by reading (and re-reading) her a story about two children taking an airplane trip. Our daughter was able to stop us and ask questions, and eagerly looked forward to flying. It was an old story; our daughter is in her twenties now. There must be some new ones out there.

The only thing not to bring is Polly Pockets - these little plastic boxes that open up to display a room and come with 1/2 inch tall Pollys (little dolls). It is not fun to crawl around under an airline seat looking for a lost Polly while the FA is yelling at you to put on your seat belt.

Make sure you do not leave anything in seat pocket - my kids always liked to store things there.

On a long flight when my kids were younger, we took the usual things mentioned above. But in addition, I brought a package of pipe cleaners in various colors. Even though they had the electronics and drawing pads and puzzles, they enjoyed making wacky creatures out of the pipe cleaners. They are cheap, light, fun, dispoable, and we still have two attached to our luggage to distingush it at the airport luggage claim.

Your niece should be fine. Just the idea of heading to Disney should make any kid feel great. Tell the flight attendants when you walk aboard that it's her first flight. They'll help her to feel comfortable (don't know if they have wings for the kids anymore, but they may have stickers or something).

My daughter was 4 when she first flew, we packed all the goodies mentioned above game boy, books, favorite stuffed animal. The flight attendants from USAir give kids a "goodie pkg" complete with wings which my dd thought was cool. She sat at the window, when we took off she loved watching the houses and cars grow smaller like her dollhouse toys. Have a great time!

gail, we left an entire backpack filled with Polly pockets in a restaurant in Hilton head. My daughters were so upset all the way home to VA the next day when we couldn't find them. I remembered the restuarant and called them. The shipped them back to us. :) There must have been 30 of those rubber dolls in there with accessories!!!

I vote for not a surprise but no extensive preparations, lectures, or educational videos either!

Give the kid some credit. Tell her about her exciting upcoming vacation, mentioning of course that means a fun plane ride to get there.

And do keep her away from her Mom (just kidding). BTW Xanax should not make someone unable to care for a child. If it does they have taken WAY too much.

MIWinnie- I saw Colorforms recently. They were being sold in the Metropolitan Museum of Art mail order catalog as "retro" toys!!