jbtan

I love traveling solo. But some people simply don't understand why anyone would want to visit places and savor the sights alone (whether out of own choice or of no choice). In the past 12 months, while checking in at hotels, I have been asked twice, "Will your husband be joining you, Mrs So-and-so?" Granted my name is androgynous-sounding but still...! Guess they miss the single-occupancy requirement on my reservation form. Sigh.

So my answer is always, "I like traveling solo: it's easier to plan and to move about, and I can do whatever I like whenever I want to." Of course, the follow-up question invariably goes in the vein of... "But why? Surely you can follow a tour or get your boyfriend to come along."

Now, imagine my wide-eyed look to disguise that exasperated reply which is replaced by a much moderated: "Oh, hate tours because I don't like to be herded. No boyfriend. So here I am." (Guys, you sure have it much easier.)

Over to you...

toedtoes

Depending on who asks, I have two standard answers:

1. Because if I meet some great foreign guy, I don't want to be tied down (OK, that was for a guy I was trying to dump)

2. Because I don't want to spend my vacation at Hard Rock Cafe (meaning I want to go where I want to go)

I think the question I get asked more often is: Aren't you afraid to travel alone? I couldn't do it.

To which I answer: I'm not afraid to be by myself. I enjoy my own company.

JBHapgood

I don't ever recall being asked why I'm traveling solo. Maybe men do have it easier in that regard. The closest I've had to actual discrimination is when I've tried to make a dinner reservation and was told that they don't take reservations for one. That has happened to me a few times, in touristed areas. I did resist the temptation to respond with words unsuitable for family viewing, but only because that would merely validate their policy and give them reason to believe that solo customers are not merely "inefficient use of their valuable tables" but bad people.

toedtoes

JBH, that's ridiculous (not you, the restaurants). Have you tried reserving a table for two and then when you get there say you got stood up?

I try to take the "afraid" question as a compliment. Folks are completely amazed that I'm not scared to sleep in a hotel room alone. I remind them that I live alone and they can't believe I'm not afraid every night of my life.

jbtan

JBHapgood and Toedtoes -- the scenario is much worse for an Asian girl. It's mostly due to culture and traditional values. Traveling solo and living alone are two subjects which raise a lot of eyebrows in this part of the world. It's just not done. If you don't believe me, just look around: you see Japanese/Chinese/Korean/any Asian visitors in bus-loads or family units, not in singular formation.

I'm yet to encounter a restaurant refusing to seat me or take my reservation simply because I'm alone. That'd be so terribly unfair. I salute you for biting back the harsh words, JBHapgood!

Toedtoes -- I would have thought that a single female living alone is commonplace in NA. Shows how wrong I am...

Neopolitan

Some possible stock answers:

"It's so difficult to learn to be a successful prostitute with someone always looking over your shoulder."

"If someone wants to go with me, they'll want a cut of the drug sales profits."

"The international espionage agency I work for prevents me from traveling with anyone else."

"The last time I traveled with someone she got me so upset I killed her and buried her body in the Tuscan hillside."

"No one else seems to like the actiities I do, such as nude sky diving and wrestling camels."

suze

Traveling in Mexico people really don't understand a single woman, that way by choice. I never lie about having a husband, but when pressed will make up a tale of a long time love affair with a sad ending. That seems much more acceptable than simply being single because you prefer it that way.

jbtan, I do believe that single females living alone in the U.S. *IS* fairly common. There are statistics.

toedtoes, people really wonder that you would be afraid to sleep in a hotel room alone? Now that is amazing. Treking India I would understand, but a hotel room???

toedtoes

It is commonplace to live alone nowadays, but people still make it to be a big deal.

I never thought sleeping in a hotel room was that big of a deal, but apparently it is. They never seem to ask my single friends who have a child (of any age), but they ask me.

jbtan - I know what you mean, Asian culture is very much based on family and a single woman doesn't support that in the traditional manner.

Suze - I've also used the "sad ending" relationship just to end the conversation, especially when they start trying to set me up once they hear I'm alone.

JAGIRL

Neo
It does get annoying to be quizzed and looked at as odd just because I'm not hanging off some fellow's arm.

I plan to try this one out next time I'm asked the inevitable 'why alone?' question :

<font color="orchid"><b>&quot;I travel alone because my husband is dead.&quot;</b></font>

If they persist and try to find out what happened to him, I'll try out your line Neo:

<font color="orchid"><b>&quot;I killed him on our last trip to Tuscany and buried him in the hillside there.&quot;
</b></font>

lifelist

My answer, &quot;None of my friends or family get the 5 weeks of vacation I do. And, the vacation they do get, they spend on visiting family or cleaning out the garage.&quot;

JBHapgood

I think if I ever were asked that question, my answer would be &quot;I travel alone because it's better than staying home alone waiting for someone to go with me.&quot;

jbtan

Great answers from all of you. Unfortunately, I just can't do tall tales with a straight face. Flippant doesn't work too well with me either. Got to be something in my upbringing. But I'm going to give one of two of your answers a try one of these days...

JAGIRL

...tales? What tales?

suze

The tall tales were basically told to me by others (&quot;oh you must have had...&quot all I had to do was shake my head sadly yes -LOL. Also it was going on in Spanish/English so a language barrier was in play as well as the obvious cultural differences.

That said, I will never wear a wedding ring as some people recommend or do themselves as a female traveling alone. Nor will I lie and say I have a husband.

tipsygus

I know what you mean, my DH died thirteen years ago and I've holidayed alone ever since, apart from one disasterous week with sister in law, we didn't get on before we don't now. I've been told I'm brave, asked if I ever get scared. I've met some wonderful friends on holidays, seen some beautiful sights and as I get older and cannot travel (not for many years yet I hope) I will the memories and photos to look back on. I have been lonely but then I live alone and I can usually pick myself up and find somethong to be happy about. At least I have been there and done that I have no regrets.

suze

I plan to travel until I die. Seriously. I know I may have to modify some methods and itineraries, but unless I am hospitalized I see no reason to stop. Ever.

toedtoes

I agree. It's going to take a lot to stop me from travelling - and not having someone to take with me isn't going to be enough.

jbtan

I absolutely agree on not waiting for anyone, and just pack your luggage and go...! Back in 2000, I traveled -- for the first time -- with three of my good friends and it's a very interesting 3.5-week vacation. Being the eldest of the group, I was appointed the leader. And the first rule I advocated? Agree to disagree. Everytime we came to a disagreement, we did a quick opinion poll and decided on the best course forward. For me, it's a humbling experience of learning to tie four strong personalities together and have a vacation which we'd remember fondly -- and fortunately, WE DO! Phew...!

But I still would hare off solo at any time... Too bad my cat has to stay back...

toedtoes

jbtan - I commend you on making it a success! That's pretty tough to do, more so than taking a family trip because there is no &quot;I'm the Mom and this is what we're going to do&quot;. It also takes a group that is open to change and new ideas and that doesn't hold grudges.

quietplague

lately as i hit my mid 30's i just say that i will meet my husband later at another destination since he has to work, even though i am single.

i do enjoy traveling on one's own but lately i've been getting hit on by guys a decade younger than me esp. when i admit that i am single.

sighhhhh, it's enough to get a traveling companion (male or female) at times