Yes, yes, Sassafrass, but since you prefaced your remark with this:
<OK, I know it is sexist. I don't care. >
I assumed you were being gender specific. Because you said you were, ya know?

I was. ��

Well now, that did not work well. Meant to make a contrite face, not ? marks.

No need for contrition, surely, lol! I was just 'splaining where I was coming from :-)

I would never take an actual sleeping pill (ambien) on a flight, solo or otherwise, because those do knock you out. Only an anti-anxiety (valium, xanax, etc.) because those calm you but don't incapacitate you in any fashion.

Whatever medication, or even homeopathic herbs, you decide to use to help you thru a flight - DO take it at home at least once before your trip...just to know and be sure of your reaction to it.

Deep breaths and easy travels.

Not to compare you to our cat, but did you take your Valium AFTER you became anxious? I ask because we have to give it to our cat for travel, but the vet said it had to be done before she was anxious and had her adrenaline flowing. Once we waited too late and it's as if she never had it. I assume it's the same for humans. You could ask your doc.

Anxiolytics work best for generalised anxiety, not phobias. Fear of flying is a phobia and the pathways involved are somewhat different to generalised anxiety - hence phobias do not usually respond as well to current therapeutic interventions.

You probably need to find some other method of coping, such as puzzles to distract you. If it's any consolation I have a similar fear (valium didn't work for me either) so I don't bother taking it any more and just allow myself a few drinks and then try and focus on a film or book. I did actually find that a lot of flights in a short space of time on my last trip (8 in 3 weeks!) had the effect of lessening my fears to the point I actually feel mostly ok about it now.

Phobias might not respond as well to other pharmacological interventions as generalized anxiety, but cognitive behavioral therapies have a very high rate of success with phobia.

Alcohol ?
I once traveled next to a woman who drank half a liter of whisky before and during take off. She was a small Chinese so to get the same alcohol content in my blood I should have had to drink 1.5 liters I reckon. Not sure I would survive.
She slept very well but I didn't. She would reach for me... Had to change seat ;-)

Terrified, how did your flight go?