Plea for a 40th Birthday Trip
 

*This message is also posted on the Europe and Latin America forums.

Well my dear Fodorites, it’s time to admit the truth. While many of you know me as a solo woman traveler in my “early to mid 30s,” the plain, unvarnished truth is that I’m actually 39.

And I’ll be turning 40 in less than 3 months. Solo.

Only recently did I come to acknowledge this grim truth about myself – in the face of incontrovertible evidence - so it is only now that I can admit it to you, fair readers.

The real turning point for me came after my most recent solo trip this past week to Amsterdam (separate trip report to be posted this weekend), where I had a serious identity crisis related to lost carry-on luggage, which culminated in the acceptance of this imminent birthday fact.

This crisis was the result of seeing (again, I gasp) numerous trip photos of myself in which the lines on my face were uncannily similar to satellite photos of the myriad peaks and valleys of the Grand Canyon.

I am no longer 22.

While viewing said photos, it suddenly occurred to me that my lost carry-on luggage <i> may have actually fallen from the overhead bin into the large furrow on my forehead while I was sleeping on the in-bound flight </i> - and that the disappearance of my luggage was, in fact, not the fault of KLM (my head DID feel kind of heavy, but I thought it was just the jetlag). Now I owe a letter of apology to the airline. (Insidious furrow! Perhaps all the socks that I thought were lost in the dryer are actually floating somewhere in this vortex as well!.......But wait...maybe I should try to look on the bright side: I no longer need to wear a money belt).

I suppose that, in both a philosophical and practical sense, <i> having </i> this birthday is better than the <i> alternative </i> (e.g. NOT reaching 40) But still….I struggle.

<b> So now I need your help </b>: I want to turn things around – I want my 40th birthday to be a <i> memorable </i> (and hopefully positive) experience, so I’ve decided that I want to take the trip of a lifetime in celebration of this milestone. I have 12 days at the end of May to travel anywhere in the world. Solo, of course. <b> If you were turning 40, traveling solo, and had 12 days to go anywhere in the world with no restrictions, where would you go? </b> Let’s make it memorable.

IDEAS: I have been toying with the idea of spending my 12 days in Greece (where I have never been); OR the south of France (I’ve been to northern France, but never south of Paris); OR maybe Scandinavia.

CRITERIA: I should say that I tend to enjoy cities - historical places with nice museums and beautiful architecture and landmarks and tons of good food, but I’m open to something new and different. I’ve never been to a relaxing place with beaches – as I tend to get horrible sunburns – but if it was a place where there are also a lot of OTHER things to do, I’d definitely consider it.

N.B.: While I love beautiful places, I’d like a place that’s good for a SOLO traveler – I want to avoid any place that is overly associated with honeymoons or that has tons of couples walking around hand in hand, smooching and making lovey-dovey noises at each other on every corner. Having to deal with this type of thing for 12 days on a solo trip would undoubtedly send me over the edge (and I mean wayyyy over the edge).

If anyone out there has ever taken an amazing trip (particularly a solo trip for a milestone birthday) - I’d love to hear from you – Actually, I’d love ideas from anyone. Thanks for all the tips the encouragement over the past couple of years! :D Magellan

As an over 50 never married female, you'll have to forgive me if I don't boohoo along with you about turning 40 or being single -lol!
;-)

Places I've been and enjoyed solo without hassle include: San Francisco, Amsterdam, Venice, parts of Switzerland, Paris, Puerto Vallarta and La Paz Mexico, Waikiki on Oahu Hawaii.

Hi suze - I actually really want to go to Venice, but I heard from several people that it was one of those super-romantic places - and I don't want to be too depressed :D Did you find it to be that way?

Also, when you say you did it without hassle, do you mean that you weren't hassled while you were there, or do you mean that it was just a relatively easy trip in general? I'm really curious about your experience because Venice is somewhere I'd really like to go. Thanks!

Nope, I did not find Venice super-romantic. I guess it could be if you were with someone you loved, but I wasn't and it wasn't.

It's a fantastic place for a solo trip imo! The first time I went with absolutely NO planning (I was already in Switzerland staying with a friend and wanted to go somewhere for 5 days that I could get to easily by train).

So to answer... both... it was no hassle planning it, and I was not hassled while I was there. Because there's no streets or cars, it's an incredible place to explore on foot and using the vaporetto.

The second time I was there with a platonic friend and it was equally fabulous, but still not romantic -lol.

Here's my favorite hotel: www.lacalcina.com

Any other question... ask away!

The year I turned 40, I took a trip to Provence in May. There was a balance between walking around the cities (Nice, Aix, Avignon, Nimes) and driving around the little villages and back roads in between. May is a great time to go because the weather is nice but not oppressively hot, the flowers are in bloom (with the notable exception of lavender), but the throngs of tourists won't have arrived yet.

That said, the year I turned 40 was distinguished by the fact that I took three <i>non-solo</i> trips (including Provence-- the trip was my friend's idea, and I doubt I would have spontaneously decided to do it solo). That's the first-- and probably the last-- time that happened, a complete fluke because I'm normally lucky if I can find find a suitable companion for one non-solo trip once every five years. It was very hard to go back to solo after being spoiled like that.

That's probably not what you wanted to hear, but I suspect Provence in May would be a good solo trip. Especially since you specifically mentioned the South of France.

Also, it is possible to have a fine solo trip even in a place marketed only to couples and families. I had a great solo trip to Oahu, divided between walking around Waikiki (despite being certain I was the only solo vacationer) and driving around the rest of the island. As is usual for a solo male traveler in the United States, all the families and couples just ignored me. I honestly didn't expect to enjoy it, but I did. An industrial-strength sunscreen kept the sunburn completely away.

The important things to keep in mind as your Milestone approaches are: 1. the &quot;milestone&quot; is completely arbitrary (unless you're talking about individual health insurance policies, that is); and 2. You're not getting older, you're getting better!

suze - Thanks for writing back. That's really great information. I have seriously avoided Venice because I always thought it was going to be like Florence (which, when I was there, was honeymoon central. Good lord, I almost jumped in the Arno.) I guess I do have one more question - if I did decide to go to Venice, obviously 12 days in one place would be too much - what areas would you recommend going to around Venice in the remaining time? thx!

JPHapgood - thanks for your thoughtful response. I really do want to go to Provence - and since I speak French, it would be nice to use my language skills. That is still very much a possibility for me (if not in May, then maybe in the fall). I also really appreciate your last two points - I know on the one hand this is true - lately I've just had a bear of a time dealing with it! I really DO hope I'm getting better, and not just grumpier - LOL.

I don't think 12 days centered in Venice would be the worst thing could happen to a person! You would have time to go out to the various islands, maybe even the Lido for a few nights. Explore on foot all the various neighborhoods and districts. Even train to other towns if you are bored, but I wouldn't be.

If you want another destination, Paris and Venice are a lovely combination. But that tosses in another level of planning and logistics.

Cute post, Magellan! 40 isn't that bad, really (written by someone who hated it at the time, but just turned 60, sob) - I've found that each decade was better than the one before.

I wouldn't go to Venice at the end of May, it will be getting hot, and very crowded. Much better to wait and go out of season. For a really memorable trip, why not consider Asia? I've enjoyed traveling solo across most Asia, but for a first trip where money isn't a concern you could consider Japan (which I haven't visited). A lot of people like Thailand as introduction to SE Asia, although I find Cambodia and Laos, or even Vietnam, more interesting. 12 days would give you plenty of time for Thailand, and Siem Reap in Cambodia for Angkor Wat, though, and you could spend some beach time in Thailand.

I don't usually come to this forum but since I've been a female solo traveler my whole adult life (and I'm now 42) I thought I'd take a look and found your post.

I've traveled many places solo -- in fact, I like traveling by myself. How else can I meet people, or eat ice cream for lunch, or not eat lunch at all, or do the dorkiest thing and go to supermarkets and wander the aisles, and not feel guilty about it. I've met some of the most interesting people when I've traveled solo, and all of those trips have changed my life in ways that I don't think would have happened if I had been with another person. I think I was open to more interesting experiences because I didn't have to worry about another person's agenda.

When I turned 40 in May of 2005 I went through the same crisis of identity. It took me another 18 months, until December of 2006, when I was 41 1/2, but I took a solo trip to New Zealand -- for 2 1/2 months. It might not be what you're looking for, and in May it's autumn there, but it was the greatest thing I ever did. That trip changed my life.

I also hate beaches and would rather be in a city or somewhere I can go hiking.

I've also been to Provence -- solo, of course -- for 10 days in October 1997. It was glorious. I don't drive a stick shift, so I took trains and buses. I started in Nice, and then went to Aix, Avignon, and did side trips to St. Paul de Vence (by city bus) and with an afternoon bus tour to St Remy and Les Baux, before heading back to Nice. I had a fabulous time going to farmers markets, and practicing my high-school French and just talking to people.

As for Scandinavia, in October 2004 I spent 8 days between Helsinki and Tallinn, Estonia. Solo. Fabulous once again -- though I might not recommend it in October!

Some of the other places I've visited solo are Nova Scotia for a week in June 2005; Santa Fe/Taos for a week; and London and Amsterdam several times. I also went to the Galapagos Islands in May 2006 by myself - though I did go on a tour, so maybe that doesn't count.

As for having a special trip for this birthday, my suggestion is just to pick a place that you want to go and go. Wherever you end up, it will be special. I bet Venice for a 40th birthday would be awesome. (I still haven't been there but it is on my short list) Just think of all the fabulous things you can do there that don't require another person -- visiting glass factories, museums, and basically, ANYTHING. Plus, you won't have to share any of your special birthday dessert!

Actually, now that I think about it, if I had 12 days at the end of May, with no restrictions and no financial restrictions, I'd probably pick Venice too.

Hope this is helpful.

What fantastic trip ideas! Great posts, thank you. I immediately want to go on hikrchick's Provence itinerary as well as thursdaysd Asian and Indonesian suggestions. Both your details make it sound so doable.

In Venice, one place could feel weird possibly is if you go stand where all the tourists catch all the gondola rides (re couples).

The rest of Venice I saw, while amazing and unique, is a normal *city* with all kinds of people doing all kinds of things. I guess there's a lot of tourists, like people often complain... but I was too busy being awestruck and trying not to get lost (only partly kidding). I remember old men on park benches, boys playing soccer in the square, old ladies with their grocery carts, how EVERYthing is done by boat on the water.

I found the closest local wine shop where they were helpful and kind to me, I was selecting a bottle of white from the shelf and the clerk offered me a similar priced one that he had chilled &amp; opened it for me when I signaled I didn't have a corkscrew. I did my souvenier shopping nearby at a hardware store.

There are a million spectacular places, but there'd be a nice ring to be able to say in a whistful voice for the rest of your life, &quot;Ahhhh, yes, when I was in Venice for my 40th birthday...&quot;
:-)

Don't get me wrong - I just spent six nights in Venice in November and loved it. But I also stopped by at the end of June in '04 for a look-see and it was way too hot and way too crowded for me. Maybe it would be cooler and emptier at the end of May, but I have my doubts. Plus, no doubt it's Eurocentric of me, but I just think Asia is more &quot;exotic&quot;, and therefore more exciting for &quot;lifetime&quot; type trip.

thursdaysd - Thanks for responding to my post and adding your comments about Venice and the suggestion about Asia. It's also good to know that each decade will be better than the one before - that alone makes me feel much better! LOL

hikrchick - Thank you also for responding to my post. Your response was very inspiring! I've made all of my travels solo journeys - it would drive me nuts to have someone else controlling the agenda. Like you, I like to be able to eat gelato at 9am if I feel like it. Your Provence itinerary is the one that calls to me the most.

Suze - thanks again for all of your wonderful input!!!

It's starting to sound like a toss up between Provence and Venice. I posted this same question on the Europe and Latin America boards as well, and what has surprised me the most is that only one person has suggested Greece. I thought many people would, but it seems like more people suggest Italy and Provence than anything.

Thanks, everyone!

I had been planning on a 40th birthday trip for several years, but it didn't happen for a variety of reasons. :( My destination choice was simple - I chose the one place I've never been but that I know I have to go to before I die (England).

Since it didn't happen for my 40th, I've moved it to my 50th birthday.

My plan is to spend my entire birthday month in England, Wales and Scotland.

The year of my 40th, I did Ontario, Canada (OK, I did it the year of my 38th, 39th, and 42nd also but that's besides the point :)).

I went to Sedona, AZ for my 45th birthday. I didn't do that intentionally, but the way my schedule worked out the most practical time turned out to include my birthday. And, of course, it's better to spend your birthday in a place like that than in a cubicle.

As usual, I felt like I was the only solo traveler in the area; and the hordes couples and pram-pushing families on the more popular trails just ignored me. But I had a good time anyway.

I suppose I should plan some exciting solo adventure for my 50th birthday. But it's not quite time to think about that.

Hi, Magellan_5. I don't really have any specific suggestions for you since my longest trips have been about a week and in the US, the Caribbean, or Mexico. As my name suggests, I'm a beach &quot;girl&quot; at heart, so many of my vacations are to tropical locations where I can spend quality time on the beach.

Anyway, I just wanted to post to share my support for your crisis dealing with the big &quot;40&quot;. I'm going to turn 42 (gulp) next week, which is something I hate to (and rarely) admit. Anyway, age is just a number, so plan a fantastic trip and celebrate that you have the means and good health to travel.

It probably isn't something you would be interested in, to celebrate my 40th birthday, I did a solo trip to a spa and sport resort that I had been thinking about for several years. For me, another important aspect of my trip was that I was able to challenge myself by participating in some more athletic focused activities there, which would not have been something I would have done ten years earlier (I really didn't work out regularly until I turned 35).

I did a 2-week solo trip to China--Beijing, Xian and Shanghai mostly--for my 50th. I highly recommend it.

Both times I was in Venice, somewhat accidentially, happened to be in August! Yes it was hot and crowded, but I loved it nonetheless.

I do like all ideas - for indonesia or asia or even provence!

I am a beach person myself, so when I need a quick getaway I am most likely to head somewhere with palm trees... Puerto Vallarta or Waikiki (definitely not exotic but easy, fun, warm, relaxing).

Thanks again to everyone who responded to my post! You all have really great ideas.

toedtoes - I do hope you get to the U.K. - I spent 4 months there and it was the best time of my life (I think England may be one of my favorite places in the entire world).

beachdreams3 - thanks for your support :D - it's nice to know that other people can relate. I do have the health and the means (and the time off from work!) to travel, and for that I am very grateful.

I love all the ideas that everyone has shared. Thanks again!

Magellan -- glad to be of some help to you. Provence was a great place to be solo. I remember one rainy afternoon in Avignon I explored a small maze of old narrow streets with lots of shops and galleries. There was a store selling mustards &amp; tapenades and I spent a very nice hour talking with the young woman there and tasting lots of stuff. I don't think I would've been asked to do that if I had been traveling with someone else.

I also remember that I had a wonderful lunch, also in Avignon, in a high-end restaurant called Hiely, which was written about by Peter Mayles in his &quot;A Year in Provence,&quot; which was popular that year. I went specially because I had read about it in the book. I had such fine service, I know it was because I was there by myself.

And I had a lovely time on the afternoon bus tour from Avignon of St. Remy and Les Baux and met some very nice American women traveling together.

I never felt different from anyone else because I was solo. In fact, I felt more special in some ways. Everyone I met was so interested and surprised that I was doing the trip on my own. Not in a &quot;boy are you weird&quot; way, but in a &quot;wow, I wish I was that courageous&quot; way. It made me feel really good.

Hi Magellan,

I've been looking into Latin America more, because I haven't been to much of it. High on my list are Peru/Machu Picchu, and Brazil - Rio and the beaches along the coast.

I did a solo trip to Spain a few years ago and loved it. Madrid and Barcelona are wonderful cities that meet your criteria, and you can hit the small towns of southern Spain and the coast if you like.

I am turning 39 in two weeks, and I've been thinking about my 40th next year already. I'm thinking about going wine tasting through the Mendoza region of Argentina (as well as seeing Buenos Aires and Iguaza Falls.

I'd say for a big birthday - the more exotic the better (note to self - must start traveling to Asia...).

Happy planning!