cin_sg

lollylo25
Just want to share with you I never really tried to plan travel with a companion. Not even with my bfren cos after a while (much as I also like the idea of a companion), I realised he doesn't really share my idea of travel and travelling. As you've mentioned, time marches on and I, too, don't want to miss out on going to places and regret it later on.

SeaUrchin
I did feel empowered and I do have more comfort zones to break out of...so yes, more solo trips for the rest of my life, I'm pretty sure!

lollylo25

Cin,
You hit on a great point: Your ideas of travel & bfren's ideas of travel are different. How important it is to be on the "same travel wavelength"! It is hard to find freinds/husbands/mates w/similar travel ideas/modes. I have some friends who are appalled that I am staying at Hostels in China, and can't understand how I can travel with only a small suitcase and just the basics. I am jumping up and down with anticipation at the thought of doing this next month....so you can see, even if we were to travel together, it would really be a bad idea. Different strokes, right?

cin_sg

lollylo25
Different strokes, defnitely. But I wouldn't put a foot down and say like-minded travellers like us could never survive a trip with one another! =) There are definitely different groups of independent travellers here who share similar travel habits.

For me, I would brave the conditions of hostels just so it fits my budget. Or like you say, "travel with only a small suitcase and just the basics". Like many, I travel with a backpack but I could never call myself a backpacker simply I haven't gotten as far as (what I think) how a true backpacker would travel.

On the other hand, a friend of mine prides herself as a female solo traveller even though she always made sure she she knows someone in the city she's travelling to and bunks in with them. She would never consider hostel or anything without a decent toilet.

It's tough even to find like-minded solo travellers!

lollylo25

Cn
I think you misunderstood me re: traveling. When I said "if we were to travel together it would be a bad idea" I meant the friends I have who would not stay in hostels, not other like-minded independent travelers.

I do agree, though, finding anyone to travel with, same scheduling & desire to see the same places has never worked out for me, thus I go alone, and meet people at my destination for a day or 2.But I would rather think of myself as " the "independent traveler" instead of "solo". Many people think "solo" means you are 100% alone all the time, which is not the way it usually turns out. It means I can pick & choose my company.

cin_sg

lollylo25
oops. my bad..at misinterpretation...haha.

lifeofmytime

I've travelled a bit through Europe over the last few years - my first trip was in 2005. I've always traveled with others, whether it be friends or family. Or even business trips with co-workers. I never would have thought solo travel would be for me when I first started out.

On my first trip, Greece, my companion was a napper and we'd always have to return to the hotel for a couple hours in the afternoon so she could nap. I couldn't imagine wasting precious time sleeping, so I would venture out on my own and wander around our neighborhood or have a drink at the taverna on the beach. These were some of the best moments I had on the trip. I could just stop and drink everything in and really appreciate it.

There were also a few trips where I had my own room, and would really enjoy the time to myself at night to just relax and linger over the day.

So, after travel plans for this spring fell through with a group of girlfriends, I've decided to embark on my first solo-adventure and I abslutely cannot wait! I'm heading to Malaga, Spain at the end of September. I haven't told a whole lot of people yet, mainly because I don't know how they will react. So far, the few friends I've told have reacted well for the most part. But I can see that little spark of confusion in their eyes.

To each his own... some people just plain wouldn't enjoy travelling on their own, so they may have a hard time understanding why others would do it, let alone be so completely excited about it.

And as others have said, bravery depends on the person. If someone has a lot of fear about solo travel, and decided to forge ahead and conquer their fears, then certainly they are brave. But for others, it's not about conquering fears. Some travel solo because it's the only way they'll be able to travel period. Some travel solo because they prefer it that way. And of course there are a myriad of other reasons.

suze

I don't think I'm "braver" than anyone else... unless living single generally-speaking means you are a brave person!!

I like to travel with a (compatible) friend or relative, if anyone's available to go and wants to do what I want to do.

P_M

Some people think I'm brave for being a woman traveling alone and I just don't see the logic in that. Why am I any less safe when I'm out of the country than when I'm at home?

In recent years I've made a few trips to the Middle East. Some people think I'm brave to go there, some think I'm stupid to go there. Of course these are all people who have never been there, so what do they know? Of course I'm not going to places like Iraq or the Gaza Strip, but I very much enjoyed my time in Israel, Jordan, Egypt, and most recently Turkey. Heck, I even went to the Palestinian West Bank, but I knew things were quiet at that time and all would be OK. Everyone imagines the Middle East as a solid war zone and I'm here to tell you that's a load of crap. I've always felt safe there and I would not hesitate to go again.

I'm not brave enough to bungee jump, base jump, rappell down a cliff or free dive. I bet a lot of people who refuse to travel alone would do these things. As stated above, it's all about your comfort zone.

The one thing I did recently that made me feel brave was hiking the Inca Trail. I confess I was nervous about that and unsure of my ability to complete the trail as a 40-something woman. But I did it, I finished the trail and it's a proud accomplishment.

lucy_d

In my experience, married people or those with SO's seem to express the most astonishment at me traveling solo. I get questions like, "You're not afraid to stay in a hotel room by yourself?" I think, "Um, no. I live alone. I usually spend every night by myself." But I generally just reply, "Oh, no, I feel perfectly safe. I've always been real independent."

I think that it is difficult sometimes for people to understand that which is beyond their own experiences. I think we're all like that to an extent.

P_M

lucy_d,

I agree with what you are saying. But my situation might seem even more strange to some people since I am married and I travel alone. I wish he could come along more often but he doesn't get much time off work. I think it's much better to see the world on my own than to not see it at all.

lucy_d

Oh, yes, P_M. If I had to rely on others' work schedules, I'd never make it out of my own driveway. Yep, going alone is far better than not going at all. (I really enjoyed your Turkey TR. I was there a few months before you were. I'm still jealous of your hot air balloon ride over Cappadocia.)

bluzmama

I have been contemplating a trip to London/Paris by myself. I think in my case its because on my last two trips with friends I had to make compromises that resulted in missing things I'd have loved to see.

London several years ago. I wanted to go to Kew Gardens but my friend wanted to see the diamonds at the Museum of Natural History. I later found out that Dale Chihuly had his work at Kew during that time. Darn.
And I want to spend a whole day at the British Museum.

Last year I was going to Paris for a week alone. A friend asked to come along but wanted to see sights outside of Paris. While I enjoyed Normandy and Brittany, the trip was rushed. I'd rather have spent the entire week in Paris with a day trip to Giverney and saved Normandy and Brittany for a longer trip.

My biggest fear does have to do with eating alone. I could bring a book but I suspect that in Paris it would be considered rude.

thursdaysd

" I could bring a book but I suspect that in Paris it would be considered rude. " Then I've been rude! Why would you think it would be rude in Paris and not London? Take a book, or an iPod, or your journal, and don't worry about it. But don't get so involved in the book you don't appreciate the food.

JBHapgood

All this discussion proves-- to the extent that it proves anything at all-- is that people who travel alone have many different reasons for doing so. Some may be alone because they choose not to wait around (possibly forever) for a compatible travel companion (including their spouse) who is interested and available. Others prefer to go solo even when they have other options. They may be single, married, or anything in between.

The "bravery" comes in only because there are still people who assume that leisure travel is something done only with family and/or friends, and have never heard of anyone doing it alone; so anyone who defies that convention must be very "brave" for doing so. Or they assume that anyone who travels alone is "single and lonely," and thus is very brave for going somewhere rather than sitting at home as "single and lonely" people are "supposed" to do. It's strictly a matter of perception on the part of whoever sees the soloist as "brave."

I think that as solo travel becomes more common, those who still cling to the old perceptions will encounter more soloists. With this familiarity, they could stop perceiving solo travelers as something "unusual" or "brave." Then the next step would be to get the executives of tour and cruise companies to perceive solo travelers as valued customers to be welcomed rather than aberrations to be penalized with costly "supplements."

suze

The "brave" remark comes with some destinations more than others. For example, rarely does anyone comment I am brave for going to Amsterdam, Venice, Paris or even Hawaii on my own. It's when I am in Mexico solo that I most often get the comment.

tzarinna

Just jumping on the subject. A coworker had made a comment about a girl that had been abducted while traveling alone and that no one should travel by themselves. I of course chimed in that I travel alone all the time, she just looked at me. I guess she was a bit stunned, oh the stigma.

SeaUrchin

Good point, suze, there are some places on earth where a person, solo or not, who travels there has to be either be brave or foolhardy or needs the cash or is on military duty.

Also what you do on the trip is part of the faction, scuba diving solo, hiking solo, things like that. Strolling though public streets and window shopping or going to and from museums in Europe are low on the risk factors.

suze

Parasailing, scuba or sky diving, OR getting real drunk in bars and going with strangers...

It's your own actions that most often create a "danger" situation not the place you are traveling (with few exceptions like a war zone) or that fact that you are alone.

toedtoes

I agree with that it's your actions that are most likely to create a "danger" situation, but I'd also say it's your LACK of action that does it. NOT paying attention to your surroundings, NOT stopping to ask for assistance, NOT checking out references, NOT reading the fine print... These can all put you in a dangerous situation simply because you failed to do something pretty simple.

SeaUrchin

I know on some of my trips where I have been solo even part of the time, I have fallen victim to not researching which areas of town to avoid. It is scary to find yourself surrounded by an unfriendly group or in some situation or area where you should not be and you are completely unwelcome. Of course that situation could happen no matter if you alone or not, but being alone you have to think fast on your feet with no second opinion and get the heck outta there. It was ignorance not brevity that got me in those situations!