How do you meet new friends on your travels?
Feb 23rd, 2010, 07:19 PM
#1
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How do you meet new friends on your travels?
My husband and I find that when we travel it is the people that we remember more than the sights that we see. The only problem we have is that we rarely fall into situations that help us meet new people. We are not extremely outgoing people, but we love to hang out, play cards, and just get to know others. I know I feel awkward when I am in another country and I feel the language barrier creates an added wall to my already shy nature.
We are in our 30's, but we have never enjoyed the party/bar scene, so meeting at the local pub for bonding is out. The only time we seem to meet people is when we stay at bed and breakfast's (and have really cool hosts) or we sign up for some sort of group travel experience (eg. ziplining in Costa Rica where we met a fun couple traveling through the Americas).
I think our travels would be much more enjoyable if we could find more ways to make opportunities to spend time with others.
Do you have any suggestions or example of ways you have met new friends?
We are in our 30's, but we have never enjoyed the party/bar scene, so meeting at the local pub for bonding is out. The only time we seem to meet people is when we stay at bed and breakfast's (and have really cool hosts) or we sign up for some sort of group travel experience (eg. ziplining in Costa Rica where we met a fun couple traveling through the Americas).
I think our travels would be much more enjoyable if we could find more ways to make opportunities to spend time with others.
Do you have any suggestions or example of ways you have met new friends?
Feb 24th, 2010, 06:19 AM
#2
You already seem to have found a couple of the best methods for meeting fellow-travelers - take walking or day tours, and stay in B&Bs or guesthouses or even hostels (especially hostels!) In my experience, the cheaper the accommodation, the more friendly your fellow guests.
For meeting locals, I hear that couchsurfing.com works well - apparently you don't have to sleep on a couch, you can just meet up for coffee.
For meeting locals, I hear that couchsurfing.com works well - apparently you don't have to sleep on a couch, you can just meet up for coffee.
Feb 24th, 2010, 09:57 AM
#3
I've never made new friends when traveling, unless I had friends living in the area. Then they introduced me to their friends, family, neighbors.
Particularly in places where I do not speak the local language, I believe it's kind of impossible to meet local people.
B&B's, signing up for day tours or classes, will help you at least meet other people who are traveling.
Particularly in places where I do not speak the local language, I believe it's kind of impossible to meet local people.
B&B's, signing up for day tours or classes, will help you at least meet other people who are traveling.
Feb 25th, 2010, 11:16 AM
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My husband is great at meeting new people and forming friendships, I am a bit more retiring. He tends to chat to the other guys in the swimming pools where we stay, then the wives tend to join in with me too. We still go to USA to visit friends we have made in Arizona, San Diego and Las Vegas. I agree about the language difficulties we have never made any friends in Europe apart from a nice guy in Croatia who spoke very good English.
Feb 28th, 2010, 06:25 PM
#5
Here's my International friendship story:
I met a young Ugandan woman on a London-Rome flight in September 1996. She & 3yo daughter were going to join her German husband, who'd decided to complete his degree there, to improve his Italian (as you do!) She was a little anxious about finding day-care etc., as her Italian & knowledge of Rome were both very scant. Before we landed, we'd arranged a dinner with my Irish friend who lived in Trestavere and, when based in Vietnam for some years, had adopted 2 Vietnamese babies who were at this time about 6 & 7.
So, around our table later that week were: 2 Australians, one of whom lived in Milan; 1 English who lived in Australia, 1 Irish & 2 Vietnamese who lived in Rome; 1 German, 1 Ugandan and their English baby who would live in Rome for the next 2 years and move to England. The little Vietnamese girls went to the French school, spoke Italian in the streets, Vietnamese & English at home. Needless to say, day-care (and baby sitting) was soon fixed. My Ugandan/German friends now have another daughter and as I write, the younger Vietnamese girl & their older daughter are in France with the German grandparents.
In 2005, I happened to be in NYC when the Ugandan/German couple were there celebrating her 40th birthday & colluded with her husband to stroll into Lupo & sit beside her one night. I think several Bostonians & possibly a couple of Texans would have heard her shrieks!
That trip a fellow Fodorite, who is now a dear friend, kindly invited me to visit her and her husband, just out of NYC. The Ugandan/German friends were leaving for the UK the the day of my visit and my German friend was very concerned that I was going off alone to meet these unknown people & insisted we have a code whereby he would call me to establish I'd not been carted off to a grizly end in a dark cellar by a pair of axe murderers. Equally horrified was my Fodorite friend's Mother, who was astounded her daughter would invite a strange Australian into her home! We've come to no harm, although our cc's have taken a battering in restaurants & shoeshops in the intervening years, and my only regret is that we don't live closer.
Four other Fodorites have become friends:
A Venezuelan, visiting Sydney. I checked out a B & B for her & we just clicked when we met. Last year, I met her in Spain, we met family & friends of hers there and she was my wonderful hostess during an unforgettable and fabulous 3 weeks in Venezuela. She's a dear friend and I wish I could lift her out of the turmoil that idiot Chavez has created in Venezuela.
Three Australians - Two in Cairns & one here in Sydney.
A lovely Welsh couple. We've chatted on & off Fodors for years and met when they were in Australia last year.
I've met some charming & interesting Fodorites during their Sydney visits, too. You can tell a good deal about someone's personality from their posts, I think. And, if I've given someone someone some advice, it's because they're going somewhere I've been, are interested in at least some of the same things - so it's nice to meet over a coffee or a vino & hear their travellers' tales.
So, Almcguiggan - why not suggest meeting some of the Fodorites you help/give you advice on your travels?
I met a young Ugandan woman on a London-Rome flight in September 1996. She & 3yo daughter were going to join her German husband, who'd decided to complete his degree there, to improve his Italian (as you do!) She was a little anxious about finding day-care etc., as her Italian & knowledge of Rome were both very scant. Before we landed, we'd arranged a dinner with my Irish friend who lived in Trestavere and, when based in Vietnam for some years, had adopted 2 Vietnamese babies who were at this time about 6 & 7.
So, around our table later that week were: 2 Australians, one of whom lived in Milan; 1 English who lived in Australia, 1 Irish & 2 Vietnamese who lived in Rome; 1 German, 1 Ugandan and their English baby who would live in Rome for the next 2 years and move to England. The little Vietnamese girls went to the French school, spoke Italian in the streets, Vietnamese & English at home. Needless to say, day-care (and baby sitting) was soon fixed. My Ugandan/German friends now have another daughter and as I write, the younger Vietnamese girl & their older daughter are in France with the German grandparents.
In 2005, I happened to be in NYC when the Ugandan/German couple were there celebrating her 40th birthday & colluded with her husband to stroll into Lupo & sit beside her one night. I think several Bostonians & possibly a couple of Texans would have heard her shrieks!
That trip a fellow Fodorite, who is now a dear friend, kindly invited me to visit her and her husband, just out of NYC. The Ugandan/German friends were leaving for the UK the the day of my visit and my German friend was very concerned that I was going off alone to meet these unknown people & insisted we have a code whereby he would call me to establish I'd not been carted off to a grizly end in a dark cellar by a pair of axe murderers. Equally horrified was my Fodorite friend's Mother, who was astounded her daughter would invite a strange Australian into her home! We've come to no harm, although our cc's have taken a battering in restaurants & shoeshops in the intervening years, and my only regret is that we don't live closer.
Four other Fodorites have become friends:
A Venezuelan, visiting Sydney. I checked out a B & B for her & we just clicked when we met. Last year, I met her in Spain, we met family & friends of hers there and she was my wonderful hostess during an unforgettable and fabulous 3 weeks in Venezuela. She's a dear friend and I wish I could lift her out of the turmoil that idiot Chavez has created in Venezuela.
Three Australians - Two in Cairns & one here in Sydney.
A lovely Welsh couple. We've chatted on & off Fodors for years and met when they were in Australia last year.
I've met some charming & interesting Fodorites during their Sydney visits, too. You can tell a good deal about someone's personality from their posts, I think. And, if I've given someone someone some advice, it's because they're going somewhere I've been, are interested in at least some of the same things - so it's nice to meet over a coffee or a vino & hear their travellers' tales.
So, Almcguiggan - why not suggest meeting some of the Fodorites you help/give you advice on your travels?
Mar 1st, 2010, 04:52 AM
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Great post Bokhara, and I think these friendships work because you have something in common (interest in travel).
I think it's easier to meet locals if you go to 'local events'.
These take many forms but we've met people and stuck up conversations at markets, library events and a Bridge night at a local restaurant (we love Bridge and pizza!).
I've also found it easy to talk to people on public transport although the exception seems to be the Tube. Buses are ideal I think.
Maybe look at a local newspaper when you arrive at your destination and see if anything appeals to you!
I think it's easier to meet locals if you go to 'local events'.
These take many forms but we've met people and stuck up conversations at markets, library events and a Bridge night at a local restaurant (we love Bridge and pizza!).
I've also found it easy to talk to people on public transport although the exception seems to be the Tube. Buses are ideal I think.
Maybe look at a local newspaper when you arrive at your destination and see if anything appeals to you!
Mar 1st, 2010, 05:39 AM
#8
Great stories! They do have a common thread of knowing someone who is living in the foreign place, AND using the internet to hook up with people of like interests in advance.
So to the original question, I think hooking up with new people online thru local message boards, coachsurfing, and the like, then meet in person on your trip (will be more successful than just hoping to strike up a conversation with locals as you are passing thru as as tourist).
Definitely I talk to people on planes, trains, busses, in shops, etc. (if anyone speaks English) and that is interesting, but for me has yet to lead to an actual friendship.
Knowing someone local, who hooks you up with their connections, is the more direct.
So to the original question, I think hooking up with new people online thru local message boards, coachsurfing, and the like, then meet in person on your trip (will be more successful than just hoping to strike up a conversation with locals as you are passing thru as as tourist).
Definitely I talk to people on planes, trains, busses, in shops, etc. (if anyone speaks English) and that is interesting, but for me has yet to lead to an actual friendship.
Knowing someone local, who hooks you up with their connections, is the more direct.
Mar 2nd, 2010, 06:04 AM
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One way to meet people internationally in an organized fashion is to consider joining Friendship Force International. Their website is:
http://www.thefriendshipforce.org/
http://www.thefriendshipforce.org/
Mar 2nd, 2010, 06:34 AM
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My husband and I have just returned from a holiday in Siberia (and yes - it was very cold there, but extremely beautiful). We are not into the party/bar scene either but connect with people through www.couchsurfing.com or www.hospitalityclub.org. This time we stayed in one city with a young guy and met his best friend, his girl friend, his aunt and her colleague (they were both geologist and showed us around the ice caves of Kungur). In another city we stayed with some people who had already visited us through these websites and they introduced us to at least 50 people in their circles. We did see some fantastic sights along the way, but it was the interaction with these people which really made our trip so amazing. We have made at least five new friends whom we shall visit again in the future.
The language barrier exists of course as my husband and I only speak very basic Russian, but with a common effort everything works out - even if help sometimes has to be found in sign language and a dictionary.
And as you know from a previous contribution, you don't have to stay overnight with people you meet through CS or HC. Very often people will be happy to meet up for a cup of coffee, go to a show or a museum with you or just to practice their English.
Happy CS/HC-ing
The language barrier exists of course as my husband and I only speak very basic Russian, but with a common effort everything works out - even if help sometimes has to be found in sign language and a dictionary.
And as you know from a previous contribution, you don't have to stay overnight with people you meet through CS or HC. Very often people will be happy to meet up for a cup of coffee, go to a show or a museum with you or just to practice their English.
Happy CS/HC-ing
Mar 2nd, 2010, 11:21 AM
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Find a good walking tour...you may not necessarily meet locals, but will meet fellow travelers.
Also, find a good restaurant that has a common table for travelers or solo diners. I met fascinating people in Rome at a restaurant called Beltrami--including a friend from Berlin whom I've known now for 20 years!
You might also sign up for a cooking course in the place you're visiting...many places have short-term courses that focus on the local cuisine or may include shopping trips to local markets, specialty stores or wineries.
Also, find a good restaurant that has a common table for travelers or solo diners. I met fascinating people in Rome at a restaurant called Beltrami--including a friend from Berlin whom I've known now for 20 years!
You might also sign up for a cooking course in the place you're visiting...many places have short-term courses that focus on the local cuisine or may include shopping trips to local markets, specialty stores or wineries.
Mar 2nd, 2010, 01:48 PM
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On our recent trip to Buenos Aires, we met new travel friends
at a Fodor's GTG (get-together.)
A local Fodor's expert made reservations at the lovely Sottovoce Restaurant in BA's chi chi Puerto Madero area.
This GTG was started by a Canadian on the Fodor's Buenos Aires forum.
During our stay we met up with various people from the GTG for lunch, dinner, and a cocktail party.
We were invited to another cocktail party by a couple from the USA. We also, met their friends from France. (I met them on the BA forum, as well.)
We enjoyed the friendship and kindness of two members of Welcome to Women Welcome Women World Wide (5W)the unique women’s international friendship and travel network.
One of these wonderful women took us on a tour of BA, a train trip to San Isidro and to Tigre. The other lady shared coffee and very interesting conversation at the landmark Cafe Tortoni.
On our last day in BA we treated these two ladies and a Canadian lady I met on Fodor's BA forum to lunch at Evita's Museum garden cafe. We shared our travel stories. Great fun!
Always have a sincere smile ready. Many people are shy, too.
Readily, share you greetings and conversation. Most people will welcome it!
at a Fodor's GTG (get-together.)
A local Fodor's expert made reservations at the lovely Sottovoce Restaurant in BA's chi chi Puerto Madero area.
This GTG was started by a Canadian on the Fodor's Buenos Aires forum.
During our stay we met up with various people from the GTG for lunch, dinner, and a cocktail party.
We were invited to another cocktail party by a couple from the USA. We also, met their friends from France. (I met them on the BA forum, as well.)
We enjoyed the friendship and kindness of two members of Welcome to Women Welcome Women World Wide (5W)the unique women’s international friendship and travel network.
One of these wonderful women took us on a tour of BA, a train trip to San Isidro and to Tigre. The other lady shared coffee and very interesting conversation at the landmark Cafe Tortoni.
On our last day in BA we treated these two ladies and a Canadian lady I met on Fodor's BA forum to lunch at Evita's Museum garden cafe. We shared our travel stories. Great fun!
Always have a sincere smile ready. Many people are shy, too.
Readily, share you greetings and conversation. Most people will welcome it!
Mar 14th, 2010, 10:30 AM
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Thank you for all of the advice!
The cooking class sounds fun.
I have met some people on public transport, but it seems the conversations last only as long as the ride.
The online suggestions are interesting, but how do you know the person you will be meeting for coffee or for a museum outing will be "safe?" I guess I am a little jaded, living in the US and knowing that violent crime and deception often go together.
Even if they are "safe," is awkward meeting up with someone who you have previously only talked to online?
The cooking class sounds fun.
I have met some people on public transport, but it seems the conversations last only as long as the ride.
The online suggestions are interesting, but how do you know the person you will be meeting for coffee or for a museum outing will be "safe?" I guess I am a little jaded, living in the US and knowing that violent crime and deception often go together.
Even if they are "safe," is awkward meeting up with someone who you have previously only talked to online?
Mar 14th, 2010, 11:28 AM
#14
Well I'd counter with... How would you know strangers you strike up a conversation with in person somewhere are "safe"? And would it be more awkward meeting in person someone you've gotten to know with online, than a total stranger (back to the original question of the post)?
If being part of a group is important, would you consider a small organized tour? It seems that would build in chances for making acquaintences at least, more than independent travel.
If being part of a group is important, would you consider a small organized tour? It seems that would build in chances for making acquaintences at least, more than independent travel.
Mar 14th, 2010, 05:44 PM
#15
.... and ... how do the other people know whether you're "safe" or not? They don't.
I'm generally a solo traveller, use my intuition & common sense, have a positive view about people and in 40+ years of travel, haven't come unstuck yet. Yes, I've come across people I don't care for and/or felt uncomfortable with. Mostly at social gatherings within my own country.
In meeting people I've encountered on a travel forum:
* We share an interest in travel - and specifically often have travelled to/are interested in, the same places.
* There is an opportunity of gaining some insight into people's character from their posts.
* Usually just meet for a short time - drink/meal/coffee. I'm not inviting them to stay at my house for a month (LOL).
If we don't click ... and they might not like me "in the flesh", we've lost nothing.
* I'm always interested in hearing other people's stories & travellers' tales. If I'm in their country, they can probably give me some good tips; and if they're in mine, I hope I can do the same.
* I think it's fairly unlikely people who post on Fodors or other similar travel forums are there to stalk prospective victims.
I'm generally a solo traveller, use my intuition & common sense, have a positive view about people and in 40+ years of travel, haven't come unstuck yet. Yes, I've come across people I don't care for and/or felt uncomfortable with. Mostly at social gatherings within my own country.
In meeting people I've encountered on a travel forum:
* We share an interest in travel - and specifically often have travelled to/are interested in, the same places.
* There is an opportunity of gaining some insight into people's character from their posts.
* Usually just meet for a short time - drink/meal/coffee. I'm not inviting them to stay at my house for a month (LOL).
If we don't click ... and they might not like me "in the flesh", we've lost nothing.
* I'm always interested in hearing other people's stories & travellers' tales. If I'm in their country, they can probably give me some good tips; and if they're in mine, I hope I can do the same.
* I think it's fairly unlikely people who post on Fodors or other similar travel forums are there to stalk prospective victims.
Apr 25th, 2010, 11:54 AM
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I'm with you - our travels are vastly enriched by the wonderful people we meet along the way, and the people who call our destinations "home." Likewise, we love to meet travelers who visit our city - it's a bit like armchair traveling. My wife and I belong to a few hospitality exchange clubs, meaning we stay with other club members when we travel (bed and breakfast style - not "couchsurfing") and we host travelers from around the world when they visit our city.
check out: http://www.affordabletravelclub.net (for folks over 40)
or http://www.casacasa.org (no age restriction)
Your follow-up post makes me think perhaps this way of travel isn't quite for you, though. There is certainly a level of trust you must have and intuition you must be comfortable enough to employ when you host "strangers" in your home, or stay in a "stranger's" home. I put "strangers" in quotes because members in these clubs have their identities and addresses verified, and we get to know each other a bit before the homestay takes place to find common interests. As a couple, we usually stay with other couples or host couples. It works for us - we've had some truly wonderful experiences and made lasting friendships with travelers from the US and around the world. And, it's inexpensive; we traveled through Europe a few years back using ATC and spent just $20 a night this way.
check out: http://www.affordabletravelclub.net (for folks over 40)
or http://www.casacasa.org (no age restriction)
Your follow-up post makes me think perhaps this way of travel isn't quite for you, though. There is certainly a level of trust you must have and intuition you must be comfortable enough to employ when you host "strangers" in your home, or stay in a "stranger's" home. I put "strangers" in quotes because members in these clubs have their identities and addresses verified, and we get to know each other a bit before the homestay takes place to find common interests. As a couple, we usually stay with other couples or host couples. It works for us - we've had some truly wonderful experiences and made lasting friendships with travelers from the US and around the world. And, it's inexpensive; we traveled through Europe a few years back using ATC and spent just $20 a night this way.
Apr 27th, 2010, 10:50 AM
#17
I haven't read all of these posts but in NZ I enjoy playing golf at the local golf clubs. Usually it's easy to ask to be paired with some of the members and often they'll invite you for a sammie and some tea afterwards. Not lifelong friends but a fun afternoon & conversations with folks not involved in the tourism industry, which gives a bit different perspective.
Apr 28th, 2010, 08:11 AM
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We have met so many lovely people on our travels. In fact, our best traveling companions now are a couple that we met sitting on a beach in Mexico. I believe you have to just be outgoing and start a conversation. I'm never shy about saying, "I couldn't help but overhear you talking about ...." or "I notice you're reading......" and then see how it goes.
I strike up conversations with lots of people at the pool or on the beach -- often inviting them to join us for dinner.
We sometimes sit at the bar for dinners in restaurants and chat with others who are sitting there rather than isolate ourselves at a table.
Many hotels offer a wine hour in the evenings and we've chatted up other guests at that time. The same can be done over breakfast or coffee. Look for hotels that offer these. Don't be afraid to say, "we're off to dinner at ....., would you like to join us" if the conversation has gone well.
Walking tours or a general city bus tour can be a good way to meet others who have similar interests. These often include lunch or a coffee break where you might ask another couple to join your table.
We took a small cruise ship through the Whitsunday Islands in Australia -- only 50 guests. We got to know everyone before the week was over.
Just spent time in safari camps in Africa. Sharing game drives and meals is a wonderful way to bond.
We traveled to China with a small, select group (25). We still stay in touch with friends made there.
Shared activities are always key -- diving, snorkeling, your zip line, horseback riding, hiking with a small group. The class idea is also great -- cooking, painting.
We often take photos and offer to forward them post-holiday. That keeps the friendship going after you return home.
I had at <i>home cards</i> printed a few years ago. Like a business card they have our name, address, phone and email address printed. I find that new friends tend to keep these much better than a slip of paper or a napkin with our contact info written on it.
While you are correct that its not always easy to meet and bond with those who live in your destination, we have met people from all over the world while traveling -- they are other travelers.
I strike up conversations with lots of people at the pool or on the beach -- often inviting them to join us for dinner.
We sometimes sit at the bar for dinners in restaurants and chat with others who are sitting there rather than isolate ourselves at a table.
Many hotels offer a wine hour in the evenings and we've chatted up other guests at that time. The same can be done over breakfast or coffee. Look for hotels that offer these. Don't be afraid to say, "we're off to dinner at ....., would you like to join us" if the conversation has gone well.
Walking tours or a general city bus tour can be a good way to meet others who have similar interests. These often include lunch or a coffee break where you might ask another couple to join your table.
We took a small cruise ship through the Whitsunday Islands in Australia -- only 50 guests. We got to know everyone before the week was over.
Just spent time in safari camps in Africa. Sharing game drives and meals is a wonderful way to bond.
We traveled to China with a small, select group (25). We still stay in touch with friends made there.
Shared activities are always key -- diving, snorkeling, your zip line, horseback riding, hiking with a small group. The class idea is also great -- cooking, painting.
We often take photos and offer to forward them post-holiday. That keeps the friendship going after you return home.
I had at <i>home cards</i> printed a few years ago. Like a business card they have our name, address, phone and email address printed. I find that new friends tend to keep these much better than a slip of paper or a napkin with our contact info written on it.
While you are correct that its not always easy to meet and bond with those who live in your destination, we have met people from all over the world while traveling -- they are other travelers.
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