first time solo traveller
 

I'm thinking of travelling solo this spring to Paris and/or London. I've done quite a few trips to Europe before (Dublin, London, Barcelona, Rome, Lisbon), but always with someone.

This year my travel buddies are all tied down *sob* But I don't think my travel experiences should have to be dependent on other people!

Any advice for someone soloing the first time? My main concern is not feeling out of place in restaurants, or getting homesick, as I'm not the most outgoing person in the world :) Is it really easy to meet people? (And no, I'm not going to stay in a hostel, I'm 36 and I need my sleep lol)

Thanks in advance for any advice folks :)

Brian

Brian, I love traveling solo and have yet to be homesick, but I guess everyone's probably different in that regard.

I don't try to meet people really, so I can't help you with that part of your question either, because the feeling of being alone in a new city is incredibly invigorating and inspiring for me.

To feel more at ease in restaurants, stick to casual places, cafes, bars with food, or try a restaurant that has communal tables to seat singles if you're feeling sociable. Bring a book or local newspaper to read helps me feel comfortable.

Alternately, make use of pre-made sandwiches from a bakery and eat lunch on a park bench if the weather's good. Some evenings I'll get something picnic style from the grocery store with a bottle of wine, have dinner in my room and watch local TV!

So I don't get lonely, I stop into internet cafes fairly often and email friends and family at home, and pick up messages from them.

Taking photos, keeping a travel journal, shopping (book or music stores are good), grocery stores, post office, libraries, etc. are all great activities for someone traveling by themselves to better get the local feel of a place.

I've visited both Paris and London solo and have found everyone from waiters to taxi drivers to be friendly, helpful and willing to chat with a solo traveler. It seems like everyone is more interested in learning if the USA is really like what they see on TV, than in snubbing tourists, as is the popular belief.

One concern I have for you is safety -- one late night in Paris on my way down the Trocodero to view the Eiffel Tower, I witnessed a man thrown down and robbed of his video camera as the mugger ripped the shoulder strap viciously from off his neck. I realized then how important it is to always be somewhere well lit and well traveled. That was my only scary episode in all my travels, but feel it's never a bad thing to be wary!

Also, make friends with the concierge for help finding other friendly folks/establishments during your stay.

The best advice is to just go and do it. At the very least, going somewhere interesting alone is usually better than staying home alone!

Since you're going to Europe, you're probably much less likely to feel out of place as a solo than in the US. Europeans don't attach the same stigma to solo travel that Americans do, so restaurants will probably welcome you because they have lots of solo customers. On your previous trips you probably saw lots of people eating lunch or dinner alone, even if you weren't specifically paying attention to them.

As for meeting people, it's probably something you can't count on but it's nice when it happens. Traveling in the US, you're at a definite disadvantage as a solo male, since the couples and families you'll encounter might see you as threatening or unsavory. There may be less of that in Europe, where solo travel is more accepted.

I have never stayed in a hostel myself, but my (male) friends who have say it's about the best way to meet people. If you're not interested in hostels (and I don't blame you if you're not) you might have better luck at less-expensive hotels, or at pensions or bed-and-breakfasts. My experience with bed-and-breakfasts is that they encourage guests to socialize in the evening; that can be an interesting experience or a bore depending on your luck. Also, the more expensive and luxurious the hotel, the more "sterile" the atmosphere the the less likelihood of interacting with other people. So save your money.

I felt that being in London solo was no different from being solo at home in the US.

Paris, on the other hand, was very different. The language barrier was more difficult to surmount than I anticipated. Because of this experience, I've decided not to travel solo to places where I don't speak the language. I'd much rather travel as a single member of a tour group.

A couple of tips I've found handy for traveling solo:

Eating out is the most intimidating part. Fight the urge to eat in your room. Everytime I force myself out I find an adventure. Eating in a pub or bar is often the easiest. You can eat at the bar and the barman will chat with you. The atmosphere is less formal. In Paris, cafes are almost always comfortable for solos. If you bring a book you isolate yourself more. A newspaper or journal (or writing your postcards) makes you more approachable. And as a single traveler you will find yourself incredibly approachable.

If you are starting to feel too isolated, join a walking tour or day excursion. You'll hook up with other travelers and may find yourself meeting with others for a meal later. London Walks are great for this. In Paris, check out the Fat Bike tours.

You are likely to find that you love solo travel and are hard pressed to want company on your next trip!

Femi, You might find that if you try another destination the experience will be different. I've traveled solo to lots of countries and haven't had a problem. Paris is a bit more isolating.

if i didn't travel solo to places where i didn't speak the language... that would seriously limit my choice of destinations -lol (having no interest in joining tour groups myself)
;-)

Thanks everyone for your replies :) I feel more confident about giving this a shot!

My plans have changed and I may actually wind up going to Athens for a week now!

I have also traveled solo many, many times. I enjoy it a lot, but I agree that I dread solo-dining.

I find that the more casual a place is, the easier it is to start conversation with others. OTOH, at expensive restaurants, people usu mind their own business.

My last solo trip was in May 2005, and I had a great time chatting with my fellow diners at a restaurant in Amsterdam (4 Italian guys on one side, and 2 Dutch guys on the other).

My Swiss trip in May 2004, I ended up talking to the Chinese chef and a couple (he's Swiss, she's S. American) at a Chinese take-out in Interlaken. I also chatted with numerous folks at a restaurant in Lugano.

Another suggestion is to stay at a B&B that includes breakfast. It's quite easy to meet fellow travelers that way also.

I'm sure you won't have a problem meeting locals or fellow travelers in Athens! Have fun!

Catbert,
That's a point I had not considered. Thanks for taking the time to point it out. Food for thought.

Femi, Try Amsterdam (everyone speaks English), Italy (Italians go out of their way to be friendly), Switzerand (lots of English spoken) or Croatia. I had a fantastic time in Croatia solo.

Catbert: I did Switzerland and Italy as part of a group tour. I don't currently have solid plans for Croatia, but it is definitely on my list of places to go. You just gave it a little bump up the list.

Thanks for the info!

Hi Brian,

Athens for a week? I hope that you'll have some day trips planned. I've been there three times and will say three full days will give you ample time to see Athens. If I go back (if on a cruise) I will definitely do a day trip or stay on the ship. I enjoyed visiting Athens, but it's not one of my favorites.

I'm also doing a solo trip this year - Italy for 2 weeks. It will be my first real solo trip (did a Baltic cruise solo but met a lot of nice people that I hung out with). I've been reading up on "how to solo" - if you Google "solo travel" you'll come up with lots of information, in addition to the good advise here.

Have fun!

Monica ((F))

I endorse everything that has been said here. Personally I find staying in hotels quite isolating and find it's easier to meet people in B&Bs or pensions, especially the ones which have communal facilities for making tea etc. In Crete I tend to sit outside my pension on the street with a glass of wine and talk to whoever comes past. Language doesn't seem to be a problem, most holidaynakers in Europe speak some English and I can manage with a few words of other languages. A smile goes a long way. In small restaurants people at the next table usually strike up a conversation (especially if they're 'older'). I also don't go in for any kind of tours as I have more than enough that I want to do without accepting any other suggestions. Read the guidebook and set off. Have a great time in Athens, one of my favourites, hope to be there later this year!

You've all convinced me to give this a try! Thanks!

While I don't think I'm going to give the hostels a try, I will go with your other suggestions. Hopefully I'll meet up with some other solo travellers to do things with, but hey if not, I am capable of having a good time all by myself :)

I'm not sure if it would be different for a guy, but I have found it is easier to get "adopted" by a couple (like to join them for drinks or dinner) than finding other singles, for some reason.

Brian, if you do go to Athens for a week, consider taking one of the hydrofoils to Hydra or Aegina. I always meet other travelers on transit. Also, you might want to sign up for one of the 2 night tours to Delphi and Meteora. Not only are they absolutely fascinating, I met another solo traveler when I did that.

I would think that for a single guy, it is much easier to travel solo than a single gal like myself. I'm 39 and am ready to get a movin' with travelling already. Haven't done much in the past 6 yrs since I had started my own business, but now I'm just ready to get movin, but do not want to travel alone at all as I am intimidated by the thought of eating alone in restaurants...even though most who know me say that I'm a very outgoing, confident person. Any suggestions are appreciated. Those of you giving Brian advice seem like great, supportive folks, so I look forward to hearing from everyone.

Some trips I've enjoyed doing solo--American & Canadian cities, cruises, gambling & spa trips, London.

I've also done some tours--most recently to Thailand & a Russia river cruisetour. The Thailand tour was very flexible--6 nights in Bangkok and 6 nights in Chiang Mai (Northern Thailand). The way that the tour was set up you could do as much or as little with the group as you wanted.

For me the logistics and language of foriegn travel are a challenge so I like doing mostly tours overseas. I also enjoy the social aspects of the tours.

Good luck in whatever you choose.

Faith

garden, i'm not sure why you think it is easier for a man than a woman to travel alone.

solo travelers all face the same problems... no one to watch your suitcase when you go in to a bathroom at the airport, getting used to eating in restaurants alone, making the best of your own company, realizing you are alone in a strange city where you don't speak the language (my favorite part!), etc.

one suggestion i have (since you asked) that you can do right now, take yourself out to a nice restaurant in your own home town. eat alone. bring a book the first few times until you feel more comfortable. practice makes perfect -lol.

good advice, Suze. thanks

I had to travel extensively in the US for business some years ago - and never found dining alone a problem - I think the first couple of times I was uncomfortable -that was all. Many times I still do dine alone, and am just fine with it. No book or newspaper. You get used to it.

On the other hand, I'm planning a trip to Paris in early April and don't want to go alone there...both because it's not the US where I know the "ways" and for safety.

And I do think it's easier for a man to travel alone then a woman. I was once in Milan and standing on a street corner looking for a taxi - apparently it was a "reserved" street corner for hookers, and they gave me very mean looks! I didn't know there were certain places to stand for a cab. LOL.

And Brian, as a guy, I think you're unlikely to get pinched on the "po-po"
in a foreign country - so I think you should go, keep a pleasant look on your face, be friendly, and enjoy.

On the other hand, I think if an attractive woman were to do the same, she could get into a bit of trouble, as if she were sending out invitations, no?

I've traveled to Paris solo four times, and to London once. I'm planning another solo trip to Paris this March. (Took a friend with me the first four trips.)

I love Paris so much I want it all to myself! Plus, I met so many more people being solo, and had some experiences that would not have happened with a friend along.

I think Paris is a perfect city to travel solo to, as long as one knows how to speak basic polite/tourist French.

liz

You will love it! I travel solo preferably (single female), it is a great way to mingle in the culture instead of using your energy talking/interacting with a travel mate.
Eating at casual restaurants is a great way to meet others. Be outgoing, & do not be afraid to talk first.You will have the time of your life, & I guarantee you will make life-long friends.

I have been a solo traveler for over 30 years now, and no, I was not single but happily married for most of that time ( I am a widow now - my hubby died quite young - a brain tumor), but I traveled on business - first all over Europe (I am European) and later - after I moved to the USA - all over the world. Most of the trips were a couple of weeks to several months long assignments and, of course, I used the opportunity to do after work and weekend sightseeing whenever I went.
At the beginning I had a few concerns - I was young, looked like a proverbial blonde (angelic and naive, lol) and had to deal with all kinds of attempts to pick me up. Luckily I complained to a wise woman, who advised me to tell a maitre d' in a restaurant not to let anybody (unless a couple or another woman) to come to my table. It worked. On the street I just learned to dress sexless. Now when I no longer have that problem, I often go to a communal tables in restaurants (they do have them in some countries, in Europe, too) to chat with other people in a local language when I know it.
Luggage and other inconveniences - yes, it can be a bit of a bother to have to do everything yourself, but one gets used to it and yes, I do sometimes ask unknown fellow passengers to do me a favor and watch my luggege for me when I go to the restroom or to get a cup of coffee. Never been robbed and probably don't look like a bomb carrying terrorist, because nobody ever refused ;-). FREEDOM to do what you want, to change your plans at the spur of the moment, to just linger if you feel like it or do some mad sightseeing dashes when the mood strikes you is the biggest advantage of solo traveling.
I must admit that I never and nowhere felt out of place being solo - and have a bit of a problem to understand why anybody would, so I always had a good time - enjoyning my food, or my drink, or a play or a concert, or a scenery from a train. In Asia and Latin America a couple often tries to "adopt" me for the journey - and I often oblige, seeing that in family oriented societies a solo woman - no matter what age - seem to be slightly incomprehensible.