Finding Travel Companions
 

My 23 year old son has just graduated from college.
We gave him a ticket to travel to Asia for a graduation gift. Although he's excited to go, he's considering waiting till he can find someone to travel with.
Are there places on line to find travel companions of a similar age?
Is this a reasonable option?

I think it is a very personal decision. I love to travel solo and that's what I would do.

I would never want to go one such a major trip (Asia) with a complete stranger.

He could try The Thorn Tree over on Lonely Planet's website. It is not specifically for companions, but a travel forum similar to Fodor's but aimed at younger and/or more adventure and/or shoestring budget travelers.

I'm with suze - I've done a lot of solo travel in Asia. If he uses Lonely Planet or Rough Guide to help plan the trip and pick places to stay he'll run into lots of travelers his age, and can pick up a companion on the road if he meets someone he clicks with. The backpacker trail in Asia is well worn!

Thanks for the information about Lonely Planet. I've passed it along.
I had a long chat with him last night. He says he's the only person he knows who just doesn't want to do this on his own! This is a guy who sleeps in his car to get in an extra day of snowboarding (alone).
He's a cook and hopes to use that skill if necessary to make a little money while on the road.
I don't know quite how to advise him. Hard to suggest he wait until he finds someone he already knows who might make this journey.

I wouldn't normally recommend a tour, especially for a 23-year-old, but they do come with built-in companionship. Not sure how long a trip he's planning, but maybe he could start with a tour and then "graduate" to solo travel?

I'd suggest that he takes a look at Intrepid (www.intrepidtravel.com.au), Gecko (www.geckotravel.com), Exodus (www.exodus.co.uk), Peregrine (www.peregrineadventures.com) and Explore! (www.explore.co.uk). If he's interested in a long overland trip he should look at Dragoman (www.dragoman.com).

Another thought would be to use the internet (or even his snowboarding connections, for example) to try and find someone interested in the trip, but living near enough so they could meet ahead of time.

I think going on a trip like this with a total stranger will not in reality give him the sense of security he is hoping for by not going solo. At least on your own, you are only in as much trouble as you make for yourself (lol). In this alternate scenario you could end up having to bail someone out, or just in a bad situation if it turns out they are lacking in common sense!

Actually, going on a long trip with an untried companion is a recipe for disaster. The funniest trip reports here tend to be from people who have done that. People who are the best of friends at home may find that they can't travel together.

Did he say why he didn't want to go alone? It might be simpler to address whatever concerns he has, rather than look for a companion who may turn out to be of no help.

"Sharing" his feelings isn't his specialty!
He's defiantly not the tour type- I've suggested it, and he's on a really tight budget.
Sigh.
Anyone out there with a kid this age? Advice? I'd leave him alone, but he's asking!
He's moving back home from college right before this trip, complicating things.

If he really doesn't want to do this alone, I wouldn't push it. I also wouldn't push him to go with a stranger.

Perhaps you could make a compromise and find something closer to home for his first major trip? Or perhaps a family member would be able to join him for the trip?

While I love to travel solo now, at 23, you would have had to chain me to the airplane to get me to go alone.

When I was 20, a friend and I were going to go to Hawaii. She backed out just as we were going to make arrangements. There's no way I would have gone by myself, but I had the sense to ask my sister if she wanted to go with me. I got to go to Hawaii, and I went with someone I trusted. We weren't perfect travelmates, but it worked better than going with a stranger or not going at all.

"he's on a really tight budget." - Intrepid's Basix level tours are really cheap, have great itineraries, and have a max. of 12 people. They are also more about getting you somewhere - by local transport - and letting you make your own discoveries, than having you stand around listening to a guide.

But maybe this is something he's just not ready for?

If he isn't comfortable with a solo trip to Asia and can't find a known, compatible travel companion, I really suggest that he defer that trip until he does have a compatible companion (and not a stranger). But I'll agree with toedtoes and suggest coming up with a compromise of a more practical trip.

I think he would do well to become acclimated to solo travel, even if it's not what he prefers. It's a valuable ability to have, since he may find himself in a situation where no compatible travel companion is available many times in his life. If he insists on always waiting until a companion is available, he may seldom get to go anywhere. But I don't think a "sink-or-swim" trip to Asia is the best introduction to solo travel, especially if he has reservations about doing that.

How tight is his budget? A nearby big city might be the best choice for a first solo trip. If he enjoys that, Asia could be next. But I definitely would not recommend advertising for a total stranger as a travel companion.

He spent 2 weeks in New Zealand with 2 good friends, 2 years ago.
We've traveled a lot.
I had him in Europe at 9 months. He and his sister were in Fiji when he was 3.
I work in the travel industry so this isn't something new. His dad used to travel to Japan on business when he was a kid- 1 week out of every month.
Just mentioning these things to point out that travel isn't unusual for our son.
I think it's more where his head is now.

While traveling may not be unusual to him, being alone for an extended amount of time at a young age may not seem like a fun time.

At that age, being around your friends is a big deal, so traveling by yourself may seem "against the grain" to him.

Again, I wouldn't push him into it.

I have no interest in pushing him to travel alone! It kind of terrifies me and I wouldn't do it myself.
I want him to have a wonderful experience.
He's asked my advice about this trip. His concern (and mine) is that it won't happen if he waits for a traveling companion to come along, whom he knows.

That's interesting you would not be comfortable to travel alone yourself. He probably picks up on that.

Did he ask for the ticket to Asia?

I replied to this last night and it disappeared.
He's been saving for this trip to Asia for about 2 years.

Does he have an itinerary, or is he planning to wing it?

I spoke with him this morning and he says he wants to fly into Bangkok and then find his way around Asia, ending up in New Zealand, if he can afford it.
He loved New Zealand in the winter and wants to see it in the summer. He has possible contacts there and he and 2 buddies have talked about buying a hostel they know to be coming up for sale in 2010.

how about finding a local homestay or a volunteer project in that area that he can go and have some contacts before he leaves

He should do what he is comfortable with. Asia is a big place if you don't know anyone and not everyone is wired to be a solo traveller.

In my early 20s I always did tours. Everyone else was like my grandparents, but it suited MY comfort level to not be fending for myself in unfamiliar places. Plus a lot of the folks I met were really inspirational to me. Many had very interesting lives and I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought.

If other options are not working out, can he exchange your graduation gift for something else?

Have you already bought the ticket? If not, you might want to figure what you would spend for the ticket and ask him if there is anywhere else he would want to go instead. With the money from the ticket he may be able to find something closer that a friend could afford to come along and have money left for lodging. My son is 23 and a grad student and I think he would probably like to travel with a friend as well. He even thought of traveling around Europe last summer camping with his college roommate, but they couldn't get their schedules to meet. When you are that age, I think you want to experience these things with someone else and would rather have cheaper accommodations shared with with a friend than try it on your own.

<<When you are that age, I think you want to experience these things with someone else>>


I'll kindly disagree. I don't think the preference is age-related necessarily. Plenty of young people like to go off backpacking solo (see Lonely Planet's website if you don't believe me).

Same like people in their 30's, 40's... some like to go only with a friend, spouse, family members, and some enjoy traveling solo.

Solo travel means different things. It can mean being all alone every minute of every day of your trip, or it can mean hooking up with interesting companions you find at the airport, at a hostel, eating lunch or just hanging out at a museum, and spending an afternoon with them, or a week-end jaunt, or the entire trip or just sharing a meal. If you are open to the concept of "solo travel", it doesn't necessarily mean you will be "alone" but that you will have your options open, a great place to be to meet new friends.

When DD graduated from college she and a friend planned a trip to Europe. Friend backed out, but DD was determined to go so she went on her own for a month and then joined DH and me in Italy for a month. She met a lot of great people in hostels, restaurants, etc. and was amazed at how often she ran into the same people over the course of the month. She was, however, grateful to see us and have familiar companions for the second half.

I wonder if the thought of coping by himself with the language(s) might bother your son. I know I (and DD) can sound out in Spanish, Italian, German, etc. and figure out a lot more because there's a certain familiarity but the Asian languages do intimidate me (and I confess to not having tried, yet).

If he wants to go back to New Zealand, maybe he should just plan a great trip there.

Update-
My son decided to go it alone and planned a 3 month itinerary beginning with 3 nights in Tokyo and moving on to 3 weeks in China. He's made reservations in hostels taking care to book the largest rooms available in the hopes of meeting people.
He quit his job, sold most of his stuff and put the rest in storage and moved home for 4 weeks in anticipation of the trip.
And then came down with a first time, raging case of psoriasis on the palms of his hands. I've never seen anything like it.
The dermatologist recommends he not travel. He's trying his third course of steroid cream and, in the mean time, contracted bronchitis. He's supposed to leave in less than 2 weeks. Sigh.....

Gosh, Welch, how awful! I hope he can recover in time to go ahead with his plans.